Okay, wows, I'm just...amazed that I went all the way and finished the chapter. It didn't turn out AT ALL how I wanted it to, and I have to say, it's a little too agnsty and heavy for my taste. The first half of it I wrote in English, when I was supposed to be writing some stupid poem...ugh, I've forgotten the pains of handwriting (falls)
Kanta: Well...it certainly HAS taken you a while...you should be ashamed.
Ramen: Don't start!
Waffle: (lumbers in) guuurrrgggg...
Kanta: Damn it, I told Izeno to WATCH him! (points at Waffle)
Ramen: Yeah? well, he was smart enough to go to bed ON TIME!!
Disclaimer: I don't own this or that...or that...or even that...or...wait...I actually DO own that (picks up mp3 player) heh...
Aaaaaanyways, I'm like...sooooo freaking tired, I can't even see straight...I kid you NOT! So...I'm just going to rap this up and go to bed...yeah...enjoy the crap that is mah story...
"Cheer up, sunshine," Riku insisted as he sat next to a sullen Sora. The brunet's pout grew, spiked hair shaking along with the nonverbal denial.
"I can't. Roxas is mad at me." Sora tilted his head back, blue eyes staring unblinkingly at the ceiling.
Riku sighed, draping an arm over his fiancé's shoulder. He liked the way that sounded. Being able to say it, knowing that it was real. Sora was his fiancé.
"Did…did he seem…sad to you? At the end of lunch yesterday?" Sora asked tentatively, his eyes drawn to where Riku twisted the white-gold band on his tanned finger absently. "Roxas was mad…but then he…I could see that…ugh!"
"Sora, to be honest, I didn't notice anything but his anger." Riku supplied quietly, holding the brunet close. "How you can tell his feelings surprises me. He always looks tense."
Sora sighed, leaning his shoulder into Riku. "He's my brother, my twin. I always know how he feels…" his words trailed off, blue eyes drooping closed. "Roxas is sad, Riku."
"Okay, so he's sad." Riku nodded. "Why is that bothering you so much? Sometimes, people get depressed." He grinned wryly down at Sora, "As much as you'd like to think otherwise, people can't be happy all the time."
"I know." Sora breathed, seeming despondent. "But…I promised. I promised myself that I'd never make Roxas sad again, Riku."
The silver-haired boy blinked at the desperation behind those words. "What on earth are you talking about, Sora?"
Sora climbed into Riku's lap, straddling the stunned other. Tears swam in those sea-blue eyes as Sora pounded his balled up fists into Riku's chest. "I promised! Promised, promised, promised!" the brunet punctuated each word with a punch, making Riku grunt in pain. Sora was surprisingly strong.
Grabbing Sora's flailing hands, Riku stared hard down at his sobbing lover. "Sora, get a grip!"
Slowly, the tears slowed, the sobs ceased. Sora surfaced as if from a dream, blinking confusedly around the room. "I'm sorry." He said airily.
Riku tentatively released the brunet, who sighed and settled close to cuddle. Well…that had been…interesting, to say the least.
"I'm not sure I even want to ask where the hell that came from…" Riku muttered, opting to instead stroke Sora's back.
"When we were little, Riku," Sora whispered. "I saw…I saw our mom…our mom, drowning Roxas. I-I didn't know what to do. I didn't understand. She ignored us most of the time, but she'd only ever been nice to me…if blunt."
Riku chose not to reply, listening intently, his gentle touches a silent bid to continue.
"I cried. It was the only thing I could think to do. I just…cried. She left Roxas alone after that, she and dad both, whenever he was around. They at least talked to me sometimes. But the way they ignored Roxas…never said his name…it was like my twin didn't exist.
"I had my friend Kairi, Roxas had nobody. He never left the house, never talked to anybody. Even I, his twin, me…I ignored him." Sora hiccupped and Riku braced himself for another fit, his arms tightening slightly around Sora.
"How old were you?" Riku asked to keep the conversation going.
"We were three when mom tried…and then, when I realized that Roxas was-was sad, we were five, I think."
"You didn't know any better," Riku assured.
"Still…I was part of the cause…I heard mom say it once, when we were eleven. She and Rox got in a fight, and she beat him…said the only reason she'd kept him was because of me…it was always my fault he was miserable, Riku…and I've never forgiven myself."
"Sora," Riku prodded the brunet's face out of his chest, their eyes meeting. "My silly Sora," he chuckled quietly. "None of it was your fault."
"But—''
The rest of Sora's objection was stifled as Riku shook his head, a soft smile curving his lips. "If you have to place the blame anywhere, put it on your mother's shoulders."
"Riku—''
"Shh, it's all in the past now, right? It's about time you let it go. Don't guilt yourself. It's Roxas' life, and he has to sort it out for himself." Amused by his next thought, Riku laughed, "For all you know, he could be upset because he's jealous." He shook his head, "Could you imagine?"
Sora's eyes went wide. "Oh, Riku! That's it!"
"What's what now?"
"Roxas is jealous that we're engaged!" The brunet jumped to his feet, pecking Riku's cheek. "I'm gonna go tell Axel to propose, then Rox'll be happy again!"
"What?!" Riku managed to catch Sora before the boy could sail from the room. "Sora, are you insane? If you do that, Roxas will break up with Axel!"
Confused, Sora narrowed his eyes at Riku. 'Why would he do that? If he's jealous of us getting engaged, then he would want Axel to ask him…right?" he finished uncertainly.
"Sora," Riku sighed, shaking his head ruefully. "Sweetie, that's not how it works, I'm sorry. If you did that, you would only be pressuring both of them to do something they obviously aren't ready for yet."
"But Riku—''
Holding up a placating hand, Riku stood and headed for the door leading to the kitchen. "Trust me on this one, Sora…" the brunet followed dutifully after the silver-head like a little puppy. He even had the big, watery eyes and…oh, there went the pout. Riku smirked, refusing to look. He knew that if he did, he'd be caught in the spell.
Huffing, Sora crossed his arms as they entered the kitchen. "So…what are we supposed to do?"
"I don't know about you, but I am definitely in the mood for a sandwich…" Riku glanced at Sora over his shoulder, "Care to join me?"
The wide, glazed look in those blue eyes was answer enough.
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"Why are we doing this again?"
"Axel…this was your idea." Roxas grumbled, pencil gripped tightly in one hand, poised and ready over the blank paper.
The redhead let out a weary sigh. "At the time, it sounded awesome…but now…it's just lame." He tipped his chair back, gently pushing against the floor with his toe.
Roxas shook his head and stifled a yawn. Even though it was midday, he still felt like he hadn't slept in months. Hell, years at this point. His job was stressful, his love-life was nonexistent at the moment, and he couldn't get a wink of sleep after hearing about Sora's engagement.
"Roxy…are you board?"
Roxas blinked over at Axel. "No…why?"
With a lecherous grin, Axel let his chair fall back to the floor. "'Cause I'd love to nail you,"
Choking back a scathing retort, Roxas flushed red and glared at his self-satisfied boyfriend. Ugh, why did he have to be like this now of all times? Whenever Roxas faintly thought about sex, Axel was too busy, and whenever Roxas was too busy, Axel's libido just shot through the roof.
"C-can we please just get back to what we were doing?" Roxas turned determinedly back to the paper, tense and, for lack of a better word…unhappy. He'd never thought he'd attribute that word to himself…especially since he and Axel got together. He'd been disgruntled at times, angry, yes, but never…unhappy.
Maybe he was giving off vibes of indecision and unhappiness, since he was suddenly assaulted by the redhead, who shoved him up onto the counter on his back, hovering over Roxas with a leer.
"Axel! Get off!" the blond squirmed, but didn't try too hard to get free.
Axel's expression changed rather abruptly, going from cocky to serious in a flash. He pried the pencil from Roxas' fist and moved the notebook to somewhere above the blond's head.
Roxas wasn't sure, but he felt like they were breaking some kind of law by doing this. He lay on his back on the counter, Axel pressed against him, hips firmly set between his open legs, and yet…it didn't feel…'that way' if that made any sense whatsoever.
Propping himself up on his elbows, set on either side of Roxas' head, Axel shifted his attention to the paper. "Let's see…how to start…" he began to tap the pencil idly.
Feeling like he shouldn't be allowing this, Roxas gave the redhead a half-hearted push. "Get off of me, Axel."
"Nah, don't think I will…"
"Damn it," Roxas sighed, closing his suddenly burning eyes.
"Rox…"
"Just…get off, please?"
Axel shook his head adamantly. "Nope. Not gonna happen, Roxy. You need this right now."
"I need you on top of me…riiight," Roxas rolled his eyes, shifting uncomfortably. "Something tells me this is just another one of your horny advances…"
"It isn't, whether you believe me or not…I just get this feeling you need me close. And you know I always go with my gut." Axel resumed tapping the pencil, his eyes trained at a point above Roxas' head, where he assumed the notebook lay.
Any slight thoughts of getting away disappeared and Roxas sighed again, he seemed to be doing that a lot lately. He was just so tired of…everything. And, while he wouldn't admit it aloud, Axel was strangely right. Roxas hadn't noticed before, but now that they were in this awkward position he felt…better. Peaceful. Warm…and safe.
At least, he did…until he felt an all too familiar pressure against his groin.
"Are…are you…" Roxas' face heated again, not so much as in anger this time around. "You're dry humping me?!"
"No, I'm thinking," Axel defended, changing tactics and deciding to chew on the eraser of the pencil instead of tapping it incessantly.
"You're not thinking! You're…argh!"
"Who says I can't multitask?"
Roxas sputtered indignantly and gave up shortly thereafter. He wasn't going to argue. What would be the point? Axel wouldn't listen. And so, heaving yet another sigh, Roxas just let Axel do his…'thing' and remained quiet.
"Who should we address this letter to?" Axel asked, never breaking in the slow, languid rhythm his hips had set. "I mean…we want this to go to everyone, right?"
Adjusting his position slightly with a grunt, Roxas shrugged awkwardly. "I don't know…the manager maybe? We could ask him to show it to the others…or just make copies and assault everybody's mailboxes again."
"Mm…"
Roxas couldn't deny that all this attention, as divided as it was, was actually really nice. He raised his hands, resting them against Axel's chest and closed his eyes, content to let the world disappear for a bit.
"Ha! I've got it!" Roxas jumped a bit at Axel's exclamation.
"Got what?"
"What to write! It's gonna be perfect!" Axel grinned cheekily down at Roxas. "My little muse."
He scoffed. "All I did was lay here and let you rub up against me."
"Perfect inspiration, I say." And Roxas couldn't help but shake his head and laugh quietly at the absurdity that was their relationship. Moments like this…were actually fairly common. Or at least, they used to be. He was amazed at how…dull things had become between him and Axel. Sure, they had their odd days, who didn't? But usually, whenever they found time to be alone together, they would either sleep or watch T.V.
Or worse, argue.
Axel's sudden movements brought the blond out of his thoughts. Roxas watched, with something akin to dismay, as the redhead stood, a cool rush of air taking the place of the warm body that had preceded it. "Where are you going?" he asked a little petulantly, wanting to smack himself for the whiny tone.
Pausing to gaze amusedly at Roxas over his shoulder, Axel answered, "Gotta pee, don't miss me too much, yeah?"
As Axel walked out of the room with a wave, Roxas slid off the counter and plopped back into his seat, staring around the room as if he'd never been in it before.
"Wow…just…wow…"
What a weird day.
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He wasn't altogether certain if he'd ever been so…frustrated in all his life.
Edmund stalked through the door of his apartment, kicking it closed with enough force to shake the walls. He didn't care anymore. All he could think about was Roxas! It was driving him nearly insane! He had his plan, he had every step worked out. All he had to do was make the first move…
But he didn't have the time or the opportunity.
The first step was to get Axel out of the way, out of the picture. And with that done, everything would be an easy, downhill ride from there. Only problem he was having at the moment was getting up the hill in the first place!
He punched a wall, stalked to the other end of the room, kicked over a chair, then finally fell onto his bed with a growl. He couldn't sleep anymore. He couldn't fucking think. All he ever saw, all he ever pictured, was Roxas, Roxas, Roxas. Day in and day out. How could such a simpering little gay boy like that take control over his entire being?
He forced himself to take a deep, calming breath, letting it out slowly. It was fine. Everything was fine. Soon, things were going to happen the way he wanted them to. Soon, he wouldn't have to dream.
Soon, yes, very soon, Axel would be gone.
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"What on earth?" the woman asked as she stared at the strange, unaddressed envelope that she'd pulled from her mailbox.
"You got one too?" she turned to see her neighbor from across the hall. "How strange…I wonder…should we read them?"
The woman shrugged. "Why not?" she ripped the top open and pulled the letter encased inside out. "Oh my."
The letter within read:
Dear Patron,
We would just like to take this time to apologize for all the pranks, nasty remarks, and many imaginings of doing rather violent things to you in the past two weeks. However, we will point out that you were the ones who started it. Can't you see how your prejudice blinds you all?
You say our kind of love is wrong. You say that it is a sin to love someone of the same gender. But what if every human being on this planet was genderless?. Would you be so revolted then? Would you still harass those who find love in other places than you?
All we ask, is that you stop bothering us. We don't want to fight anymore, we simply want to live out our lives together. It isn't your concern what we do or who we are, so don't butt in, ne?
If it still bothers you so to see two men together, just keep in mind that love is blind. It sees nothing of gender, race, religion, none of those things. Unlike you all, it accepts without judgment. Try to learn from its example.
Sincerely,
Axel Utada and Roxas Hikari, Apartment 5
If anybody...ANYBODY gives me sh-t about the 'board and nail' joke, I will destroy them...Same goes for the letter...I'm sure you were all expecting either something really funny, or really climactic...sadly, this is neither. I. AM. F'ING. TIRED!! So give me a freaking break peoples!! GAAAAAHHHH!!
Roxas: You are DEFINITELY bi-polar or something...they aren't judging you, so back off...
Ramen: Why don't YOU?! (head-desk) grraaaa...I'm sorry peoples...haven't exactly had the best life since I last updated on my birthday...(sighs) but, that's not your problem, it's mine. So I'll stop wasting your time.
Roxas: (smacks Ramen upside the head) stop being emo, damn it! you're supposed to be happy!!
Ramen: (groans) ...
Roxas: (sighs) Fine...be stubborn...review please...I'll...see what I can do to fix this...heap of an authoress...