Authors note: Thanks for reviewing you guys some of them make me really laugh (= Oh BTW someone mentioned that they think I have something against gay people because of some of the jokes I put in hear….really sorry if I offended anyone please, please don't hate me (= I really, really didn't mean to be offensive.
"So Esme truth or dare?" Alice asked.
"Um…..I want to say dare." Esme said…wow a little too overly confident if I do say so myself….I mean don't you think Alice would do something really evil considering she was dragged by the ankles into Home Depot? We shall see……………………
"Ok Esme I dare you to take a sledge to your expensive one of a kind coffee table and matching china set." Alice snickered. Oh my god….would Esme do such a thing to such valuable furniture?
Everyone turned to see her face….she was in complete frozen shock….if vampires could pass out she would have….though in a matter of seconds that shock turned to pure and utter rage and hysteria……this was not going to go over so well………..
"Alice there is no way in hell I'm am breaking that gorgeous table, it cost over 5000 dollars!!! It's freaking diamond in crested!!!!!" Esme yelled.
"Wow, you guys have way too much money." Jake muttered. Everyone glared at him. "What...don't look at me you're the one who wasted 5000 dollars on a freaking table!!!" Jacob screamed.
"Actually the one in the living room is 5000….the one we were talking about was 15000." Alice corrected.
"Oh my god." Jake sighed.
"Oh my god your right." Esme sighed. "There is no way anyone is touching that table."
"Well Esme…you remember the rules….if you don't do the dare you have to-" Alice started.
"No!!!! I am not going to do that!!!!" Esme yelled.
"Your choice…." Alice said.
"Huh….give me the sledge hammer." Esme sighed.
"Yeah!!!" Alice skipped into the other room to get the camera.
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"This is round two of the Cullen truth or dare, Esme is about to smash the diamond in crested table." Alice announced into the camera's speaker.
"I change my mind I can't do this." Esme said putting the sledge hammer down. "Damn it!!!" She may have cracked the floor a little……
(Let's see what's going on in jail)
"Damn I'm so bored." Emmett muttered smashing his hands into the floor…..it shook the whole room…including the toilet which splashed Edward in the face yet again.
"Emmett would you stop!!!" Edward yelled.
"Not unless you play a game with me…" Emmett bargained.
"No." Edward muttered.
"Then I guess I'll just have to keep shaking the floor." Emmett threatened.
"You wouldn't."
"Oh would I?"
"Fine I'll play your game just don't shake the floor!!!!" Edward yelled.
"Ok."
"So…what are we playing?" Edward asked after Emmett toke a five minute pause.
"Oh yah right…I have to say something…um how about guess that song." Emmett said.
"Oh Emmett please no more singing." Edward begged.
"Oh fine….your lose." Emmett sighed. "Ok then let's play would you rather." Emmett said.
"Ok…I guess it's better then hearing you sing." Edward mumbled.
"Ok...I'll go first…would you rather be locked in jail or with a crazy person or married to a dude?" Emmett asked.
"Well let's see…I'm already locked in jail with a crazy person….and I'm also married to a man." Edward said.
"Oh yah….hey you shouldn't talk about Carlisle like that though." Emmett butted in.
"That's not who I was calling crazy." Edward sighed…sometime's Emmett could be so slow……….
"Oh…HEY!!!!"
"Just telling the truth…." Edward mumbled.
"Whatever….let's get back to the game….would you rather buy a magical pony or have a cloud named after you?" Emmett asked.
"What?"
"You heard me I said-"
"I know what you said…but why would I want either of those things?" Edward asked confused.
"Because there so cool….personally I think I'd take the pony cause it would last longer." Emmett thought aloud.
"Um…ok…this is getting weird…can we play something else?" Emmett asked.
"Uh…yah we can get back to that guess the song thing…that way Carlisle can play too." Emmett decided.
"Oh joy." Carlisle sighed….he was much happier just sitting in his corner watching Edward's pain.
"Ok…I'm going to start singing at a random part of the song so it makes it harder to guess." Emmett said. Carlisle and Edward cringed….what if they never figured out what song he was singing? Would he just keep going on and on forever? Would he ever stop?
"Ok….I got class like a 57 Cadillac and an overdrive with a whole lot of boom in the back." Emmett sang.
"Shut up!!" Carlisle yelled.
"Don't even waist your time Carlisle telling him to shut up isn't going to stop him from singing." Edward sighed.
"I'm not telling him to shut up!! The song starts with shut up…shut up and something….i don't know what." Carlisle said.
"Oh…" Edward said as he began to think. "We better hurry up and figure it out or he'll never stop." Edward muttered. Now shut up and what? Hum…I can't remember either sorry Eddie……
"So if you feel it let me know, know, know. Come on now what you waiting for, for, for?" Emmett sang.
"Were not waiting were thinking." Edward said.
"Edward...he wasn't asking you what you were waiting for…that was just part of the song."
"Oh…."
"Baby you've got the keys, just shut up and drive, drive, drive, shut up and drive." Emmett sang.
"That's it, Shut up and Drive!!!!!" Carlisle yelled happy he had finally gotten it….wow that only took him ten minutes.
"Good…now onto the next song." Emmett said.
"Oh god…"
"Great."
"That party last night was awfully crazy I wish we taped it I danced my ass off and had this one girl completely naked. Drink my beer and smoke my weed but my good friends is all I need. Pass out at 3, wake up at 10, go out to eat then do it again." Emmett sang.
"What the hell party was that…and naked girls Rose is not going to be happy when she hears about this." Edward complained.
"Edward…again…part of the song."
"Oh…."
"As I was singing." Emmett went on….. "I can't tell you what I learned from school but I could tell you a story or two, um yeah, of course I learned some rules like don't pass out with your shoes on(Get the Sharpie!)." Emmett sang.
"This song is kind of scary…and I still have no idea what it is." Edward said. "And I don't get it….what about the sharpie?"
"Edward you are so not helping." Carlisle sighed.
"Now if everybody
would please put their drink as high as they can. As high as they
can(As high as they can)And repeat after me Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!
Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Freshmen! Freshmen! Freshmen! Freshmen! Do
something' crazy! Do somethin' crazy! Do something' crazy! Do
somethin' crazy! Keg stand! Keg stand!
Keg stand! Keg stand!"
Emmett screamed.
"Ok…now I really don't get it." Edward muttered.
"Oh Edward your so slow…you need to get with the times….oh and by the way I figured out what the song was, it's I love collage. " Carlisle said.
"How did you know that?" Edward asked.
"I'm hip like that." Carlisle said…Edward had never been more confused in his life.
***********************
"Come on Esme smash the damn table already so we can all get on with our lives!!!" Alice yelled.
"Fine…" And with that the 15000 dollar table was gone….
"No!!!" Both Esme and Jake screamed.
"Jake why the hell are you screaming?" Bella asked confused.
"Waist. Of. Money." Jake said.
"Why the hell does everyone keep breaking words into sentences?" Rose asked.
"That is my thing people!!!" she yelled.
"Loca." Quil muttered.
"I am not crazy!!! I say we get him next." Rose yelled.
"Ok." Esme agreed.
"One thing Esme." Rose interrupted.
"Yah?"
"No daring him to get you a new table."
"…..Damn…..ok then while were waiting for the bail bonds men to open, Quil I dare you to play fetch with squeaky toys like a dog at the park." Esme said.
"What. The. Hell?"
"What did I tell you guys about doing that!?!?!?!" Rose yelled…she was getting paranoid…no one was allowed to split single words into sentences but her.
Jake was laughing….this was going to bring dog to a whole new level.
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Authors note: Ok that was kind of short and not too funny but hey I just wrote a chapter for 3 of my stories hopefully the next one will be longer…and playing fetch with squeaky toys in the park should be interesting….
