"Evie…" Sandy said, with what seemed like a mixture of surprise and sadness. I was slowly backing away from the door, my heart beating a mile a minute.

"Is he with you… Steve?" I asked, feeling a bit like if she said yes I might drop dead right there on the carpet. I had forgotten all about her - about her being all tied up in the whole Steve situation just as much as the rest of us.

"No," she answered. "I would never bring him here, Scout, after…" She was having trouble talking without crying. Darry had come out of his room to see who was at the door and I could see him watching all of us, gauging our reactions.

"Did he… did he hurt you, too?" I wasn't actually sure if I wanted to know.

"No," she shook her head. "I swear, Scout – and Sandy… I never knew. I had no idea. Why didn't you tell me, Sandy?"

Sandy had tears running down her cheeks now, too, and Soda had sat back down and was holding her against him. Darry came over and stood behind me, his hands around my shoulders. I wondered if he could feel my heart, still pounding.

"I was scared," Sandy finally said quietly. "That nobody would believe me, or that you'd think it was my fault, like I wanted to. I was ashamed… I mean, he was my boyfriend's best friend… and my best friend's boyfriend." Soda pulled her in tighter, and I could see in his face that it was killing him to know the shame that both Sandy and I felt for something we didn't ever want to do. Sandy sobbed against him and Soda whispered in her ear. I felt Darry pull me in tighter, and Two-Bit glanced at me with concern while I wiped the tears off my face.

"Where is he?" Darry finally asked. I was torn between not wanting to know and needing to know.

"In the hospital," Evie answered. "He tried to kill himself, Darry."

I heard Soda react, but couldn't read the emotion behind it at all.

"Scout, maybe you shouldn't…" Soda looked at Darry, obviously questioning whether I should even be present for this conversation.

"No," I said, determined to stay. "I want to know. I deserve to know."

I heard Darry sigh but he didn't tell me I had to leave.

"It was the drugs," Evie said. "He couldn't control it – the drinking and the drugs…He called me, the day after, telling me he wanted to die, because he'd lost everything that mattered to him. I didn't know, yet, about you Scout… or Sandy… About what he'd done...He took the whole bottle."

"Is he…I mean, did he… hurt himself, bad?" Darry was asking the questions that I knew Soda wanted to be asking, it just didn't seem appropriate for Soda to be the one asking.

"No. I called the ambulance right away and they got to him on time. He's… okay, I mean, physically, but emotionally… They got him off the drugs, he went through all the hell of that and wouldn't talk to me the whole time, wouldn't talk to anyone. Like he really was dead."

"So why are you here, now? We're supposed to feel bad? He hurt the two girls I care about most in the world." Soda sounded bitter, and just plain hurt.

"Nobody's feeling worse about that right now than he is," Evie said, barely whispering, staring at her toes. Nobody was expecting the next thing she said.

"They put his Dad in jail."

"About damned time, that bastard's been deserving it for years, hittin' a kid like that." Two-Bit had always had it out for Steve's dad for beating on him.

"It's worse than that," Evie went on. "It's worse than any of us thought. He was …" she stopped, looking at Soda, with tears in her eyes. "He was… his dad was raping him, Soda. Since he was just a kid." She looked apologetically at Darry, and I was sure that was for having this conversation with me and Pony in the room. I felt my stomach clench; I hated the thought of that happening to anyone, even if it was the same person who hurt me.

"Jesus Christ," Two-Bit said, under his breath, and I felt Darry tense up around me.

"I know… I never knew, either. He was hiding it , all this time – the drugs, they were an escape… but once the got him off the drugs and they started therapy with him… he just let everything out, just broke down. They arrested his father right away – there was plenty of evidence, I guess." Evie sniffed and wiped her eyes.

"Jesus," Soda said, his hand in his head, looking like the whole ordeal was about to break him as well.

"I understand if you don't care – I understand if you all hate him, for what he did. I understand if you hate me, Sandy, for not figuring out what was going on – but he asked me to come here. He wants to talk to you, Soda. He knows you probably don't want anything to do with him, but I promised I'd ask. And I just thought that you all should know. Not that it makes anything okay, just… it's a reason. Not an excuse, but… a reason."

"I never blamed you for anything, Evie," Sandy said. "I knew you didn't know… I didn't want you to know… or Soda, either."

Nobody said anything.

"They transferred him to the University Hospital, downtown, to the psychiatric ward… but he's not crazy, or anything. He's just sad, and scared, and alone… and sorry. Most of all, sorry. He really doesn't have, well, anyone."

We were all too confused about our feelings, I think, to be able to say anything.

"Well, thanks for listening. I guess I'll just see y'all around then." Evie turned to leave.

"Wait!" Sandy called after her. "How'd you get here?" she asked.

"I took the bus."

"Let me drive you home," Sandy offered, and Soda gave her a questioning look. Sandy nodded at him and gave him a kiss, standing up. "Darry, do you think you could drive Two-Bit home? I kinda want to talk to Evie, alone."

"No problem," Darry answered, his hands holding tight on my shoulders.

"Thanks," Sandy said, heading out the door. "I'll talk to you tomorrow after work, okay Soda?"

"Okay," Soda said. He looked completely overwhelmed. Soda always had a hard time handling more than one feeling at a time, and was clearly struggling with the tangled web of emotions this had stirred up in us all.

The door closed behind them and we all were still and silent. Darry guided me over to the couch and sat me down, nudging Pony into the middle, next to Soda, and sitting himself down on the armrest.

"I didn't want… I never wanted for him to die," I said, finally.

"We know that, Scout," Darry said. "But he can't expect anyone to just forgive what he did, and forget about it, either."

"I know," I replied, "but part of me wishes we could." I would have given just about anything to erase everything that had happened and go back to the way things had been before any of this mess. But I knew it was unrealistic.

"Somebody was hurting him, too," Pony finally said. "His anger… his attitude…I guess I can kinda see where it came from, now. He was hiding so much. Why didn't he ever say anything?"

"I know exactly why," I said. "He was ashamed. And scared." Pony grabbed my hand, which was surprising, but not unwelcome.

"We wouldn't o' judged him… I would killed that sonofabitch, though." Two-Bit looked as confused as I'd ever seen him.

"That's just… not how it works, Two-Bit. When it's happening to you, nothing makes sense. You think it's your fault… or that everyone else will think that, at least. Probably the only people who understand why I never said anything are Sandy… and …well, Steve."

"I understand," Pony said, rubbing my hand.

"He was always jealous of our family, I guess because we had parents who treated us right," Soda admitted. "He never hated you guys," he looked across at me and Pony, "he was jealous. Still, just because somebody's hurtin' you don't make it right to go hurtin' somebody else!" I could actually see Soda struggling between guilt, pain, and anger.

"Evie was right, Soda… about the drugs. He wasn't in control. That night… he wasn't Steve – not even the Steve that's always been mean to me. He was something else. The next time I saw him, he was just Steve again. But, that night… it didn't seem like him. That night… it was the same Steve that freaked out after our card game."

"He was definitely strung out that night." Darry said, matter-of-factly. I knew it the second he came in the door."

"He threw the rock. That night, in my window; I know it was him. Just from the way he looked at me, when he left, I knew he would come back. I'm so glad you stayed with me, that night. He wasn't just Steve." I leaned against Darry's waist, next to me on the armrest, and hugged him.

"What a waste," Darry said. "It's just sick, all of it. I hope his father rots in jail. Anybody who would do that to a kid - their own kid. Jesus."

The more I thought about it all, the more sick and confused I felt. Steve's dad had hurt him; and as a result, he had hurt Sandy and me, which had hurt Soda, and, by default, had hurt Pony and Darry … and, now, Evie, too. A giant chain reaction of pain.

There were things I knew, for sure: I was still afraid of Steve. I might never trust him alone with me, again. But my heart hurt for Soda, who had been so torn between his allegiances, just as I had been torn between Anna and Darry. A part of me hurt for Steve, too, in a way I couldn't even understand myself, but I knew it was real, the pain I felt for him.

I'd had Darry and Tim and Pony and Soda, Ben and all the other people who helped me get through what he did to me – who knows what might have become of me if I had been all alone, left to my own devices. I might have turned to drugs, too – God knows, I had been searching for something – anything, to stop the pain and fear.

Steve had done bad things – really bad things, but I just didn't think it made any sense for anybody to have to suffer any more than they already had. I had turned the corner and was feeling better…. I didn't want anyone suddenly going backward. If Steve needed Soda and he never came, who was to say he wouldn't head right back down the same path he'd been on, and hurt somebody else, or – God forbid – come back after me again. I turned and looked at Soda, letting go of Pony's hand and picking up Soda's. He looked up, a hint of tears in his eyes.

"I don't know what I should do," he whispered. "He hurt you…" I squeezed his hand.

"I think you should go see him," I whispered back, and everyone, even Two-Bit, was silent.

………………..

A/N: Okay, I know this has been a long time coming, and, just for the record, I don't hate Steve's canon character. Part of the goal of writing this fic was to write a realistic portrayal of a sexual assault, as opposed to the "I got raped yesterday but now I am perfectly okay and in love with my rapist/the perfect strangers who rescued me" version that is so prevalent in this fandom, and terribly inaccurate.

The statistics all agree that most assaults on juveniles are committed by someone they know, in the victim's own home, under the influence of alcohol or drugs. Steve just fit the bill. You would have kind of seen this chapter coming if you read my one-shot "Looking For the Whales," though it is slightly different, since the Scout series stands alone, and all of my one-shots are sister-free (to appease the haters :-).) If you didn't see this coming, I hope the content of this chapter did not offend you.

Seriously, you are the most loyal and awesome readers and reviewers and I really appreciate that you take the time to comment on my story! There's a lot more to come this summer!