The Plan Part IV: A Mother's Worries

Luckily Merlin wasn't with the others; he was on his own standing on a hill looking across nothing but open grass. She rode up behind him and stopped to wait, she knew not to speak first.

"I know why you are here, my niece."

"You do?"

"Of course, you are with Arthur; I knew eventually you would be back on his accord in order to keep the peace. But, when will you realize there will not be peace as long as they fight for Rome?" he asked turning around to look at her.

"Uncle, if we try – "

"It will do no good. As long as the knights serve Rome there is little that can be done."

"I don't care, I will not stop trying."

"I know, I always knew you would be drawn to them, your own father is a knight."

"I do not want to have to choose between them and you."

"You don't have to. I know you would never betray us."

"No, I wouldn't."

"So, you are here regarding the members of the church whom were killed are you not?"

"Yes."

"We want them out of our land, that bishop has been taking some of our people prisoner trying to convert them and if he cannot they end up dead…even my own daughter is gone."

She gripped her reins tighter in anger, now she wanted to kill him. She started considering doing it herself to save them the trouble, after all it would easier for her, one person who is a friend of the knights, to get to him than it would for an entire force. "Let me do it."

He looked at her intrigued and a little surprised.

"If he really is making our people suffer, and took my own cousin, I want to kill him myself. I can do it far more inconspicuously than the men… Who led the revolt?"

"Not Maccus if that's what you're wondering."

"Oh good, he doesn't know how to be inconspicuous."

"I know. So, you want to kill this bishop?"

"Yes. I can make it look like triage, like a roman did it, no one would know I was even there other than yourself, and they wouldn't know it was one of us."

"You're sure you can do this? We don't even know where he is."

"Good. Yes. But no one comes with me, no one follows me."

"Agreed."

She kicked her horse to ride back to her house. Once she got there she started packing. She rushed to her room to change her clothes out of that dress and back into her leather. Luckily her parents were both busy. She was able to get in and out quickly without being caught. She packed her horse with food and water and blankets then was on her way before her parents came back. Being sick was the last thing on her mind, as always, especially since she found out what that creep did, kidnapping her beloved cousin, her best friend. She rode hard, she was running on emotions, namely anger, and adrenaline from being so angry. Nothing was going to get in her way, she didn't even care if Arthur didn't like it, or any of the knights, well the knights she knew probably wouldn't care, they weren't Christians, but Arthur probably wouldn't like it, but who said he had to find out? She didn't even care if she got even sicker than she already was to the point of death even as long as she fulfilled this mission before she died.

Brienna woke up about an hour after she left and called for her sister, but got no answer from her, instead her father walked in.

"She's not here."

"She can't still be with Merlin."

"She's gone."

"What? Why?"

"I don't know, she snuck off, as she does, probably so that we wouldn't try to stop her due to her current condition. She really is serious about this."

"I get the feeling this isn't just about helping the knights, something's not right, I feel it. All she was after was information."

"I don't know, your mother tried asking Merlin if he knew but he was as silent as stone."

"That means he knows something we don't."

"Exactly."

Back at the fort the men were of course at the tavern again. All of them except for Tristan, who had gone off on his own for a ride. He went to the waterfall. He tied up his horse and went into the cave. Once he got a fire going he laid a blanket out to lay on and laid there missing her. He thought getting away from the men would be good he didn't want them to see him like this. Even though they knew now about his relationship with Keena, he still didn't want to show emotions around them. all he could think about being in this place again was what her and what they did, it all came flooding back to him, he could almost see her lying next to him, and he found himself placing his hand next to him hoping to feel the warmth of her body but instead nothing. 'Great, now I'm daydreaming…oh, woman how long are you going to be gone? Why is this even bothering me this much anyway?' he put his hands over his face sighing, he still didn't understand, he was starting to wonder if he ever would. He let his hands fall and then looked to his side and saw her walking to him. He sat up slowly squinting his eyes a little trying to see through the façade, wondering if it was real and she kept coming. Then she was on her knees in front of him. He looked into her brown eyes and she gave him her little smirk before placing her hands on his cheeks pulling him in for a kiss. He was certain it was her, he could feel her body against his and her lips. She pushed him down onto his back getting on top of him. Her lips never left his, his hand pressed against her back pressing her harder against him. She finally separated her lips from his to kiss his cheek up to his ear.

"I love you." He heard her whisper.

"Where have you been?" he asked her pulling her face to his again.

She smirked laughing once under her breath. "You know where, I had to do this, I don't do anything without a reason."

He gave her a confused look.

"Don't worry about it." she told him and kissed him again. He rolled them over pinning her under his own body kissing her more passionately, showing her how much he missed her, even though it's only been a few days. His hand went down from her waist to behind her knee bending her leg up at his side then it slid up her leg pushing her dress up. Her hands reached down untying his tunic ripping it open to bear his chest which she caressed. He moved down to kiss her neck. Her hands kept going down until they got to his pants to get them open too. She ripped them open quickly started pushing them down. He situated so that only one elbow was holding him up and his other hand helped her to free himself before resituating himself and quickly pushing into her. He heard her moan his name underneath him. Passionately he made love to her, but not rough, he was still tender. When it was over he held her in his arms watching her sleep and kissing her shoulder and neck lightly. He looked closer at her face and saw that she wasn't breathing.

"Keena? Keena, wake up." he shook her trying to wake her up but she didn't. "Keena." He whispered as his heart started to break. He sat up and picked her up into his arms holding her limp body looking down at her face. "Keena!"

Tristan shot up sitting straight looking around him, he was panting breathing heavily and sweating. He realized no one was there. 'It was a dream?' he realized it was just a nightmare and calmed himself down. He had fallen asleep and dreamt of her. He laid back down pulling the blanket over him and ignoring the ache between his legs he closed his eyes waiting for sleep.

Keena had found the tracks that the monks made so she knew to trace them back to find the bishop. She made camp even though she didn't really want to, her horse needed to rest and so did she, she would sleep for a few hours then follow the wagon tracks and hopefully get there before light so she can sneak in and out without being seen. That was the plan. She laid down by the fire next to her horse and went to sleep.

But, she slept longer than planned, because of how tired she was from being sick. The sun had already started to come up by the time she woke up. She stood fast and kicked a log in frustration. "Damn it!" she hissed. "Ugh!" She sat back down quickly on the blanket and looked over at him. "Why didn't you wake me?" he neighed lightly. "Now I have to wait for nightfall, what am I going to do all day?" she huffed and laid back down.

Brienna was finally out of bed this morning.

"Morning sweetheart. Feeling better I see." Her mother said as she walked into the main part of the house where the small kitchen and dining table was.

"Morning, and yes I do feel better, but not fully."

"You will in a couple more days. As long as you keep warm and rested and fed you'll be fine. Unlike your sister who does none of the above, she eats but not things she needs to be eating when she's ill."

"She'll get better, she always does. But, the knights keep saying one of these days her luck is going to run out."

"Luck?"

"They say she has a way of cheating death."

"Why?"

"Because she's been injured three times and they had to heal her, she pulled through even though the wounds were awful. So they said she cheated death."

"That bad huh?" her father asked her.

"Yeah, I was terrified of losing her. But, luckily their healer and some of the knights, including Tristan are good at healing and she was well taken care of."

"I see, she lets some man take care of her but not her own mother."

"Mother, she was unconscious most of the time, she didn't wake for days. And he's not just some man, he's her lover."

"Lover? As in – I thought she was merely in love, or thought she was, not intimate with him."

"Oh mother, don't be so overdramatic please, she isn't the only one."

"What?!"

"Yes mother, both of us are grown women who happen to be in love with someone who loves us in return and we can do what we bloody please!"

Niallan sat back surprised, this was unlike Brienna, this was Keena behavior, not Brienna.

"What is wrong with you? You're acting like your sister."

"Because you are overreacting over something we have no control over, you cannot choose who you love, and no one can tell you who you cannot."

"Oh yes I can young lady."

"I'm not a young lady."

"To me you are. You are not married, you're not even promised."

"I know, and I'm sorry we disappointed you, but I am not sorry for what I did. I love him and you are not going to take him away from me."

She started to walk back to her room until her father finally spoke.

"Brienna." She turned looking at him, she had tears flooding her eyes but not yet falling. He walked over to her taking her hands in his. "We are not disappointed – "

"Speak for yourself."

"Fine, I am not. But, I must ask and be honest, are you with child?"

Her mother let out a sigh of surprise that he actually asked that question.

"No." she whispered answering him.

He let her go and she went back to her room closing the door and curled up on her bed to cry alone.

"Are you really that upset to say that in front of her. I can see you saying something like that to Keena, you two are always at odds but to Brienna? She has always done everything you asked, she has never done anything against you, until now and all of a sudden you turn on her?"

"I'm not turning on her, I just don't understand why this happened all of a sudden…He's a knight Niallan, like you. I don't want them to go through what I went through." She said sadly. He gave her a sympathetic look. "You were never home, I never knew if you were alive or lying dead somewhere, I don't want them to worry everyday wondering where he is or if he's alright – "

"Hey." He whispered wiping the tears off her face. "Then why don't you tell them that?"

"Would they listen? What's done is done, they're already gone, those men have already won them. Brienna's right, I cannot take them away…we don't even know what they're like, if they even deserve our girls."

"I promised Keena come spring I am going to visit the wall, I will meet them, and she knows if I don't like something I'll say so. She will not defy me, neither will Brienna, so don't worry about them being with someone who is unworthy."

"I trust them, they wouldn't choose just any man, especially Keena, she refused Maccus knowing what he really is, if she finally gave her heart to this man he must be worthy of her."

"I agree." He said hugging her to him comforting her. They went to her room together to talk to her.

"Sweetheart…can I talk to you?" her mother asked walking in.

Brienna sat up sniffing and wiping her face lightly.

"I'm sorry I said that. I'm not disappointed, I'm worried."

"Mother, this isn't some affair."

"I know that, but sweetheart he is a knight, he has a duty and that duty will keep him away from you."

"We go with them on their missions."

"Now, but what if you do have a child? You will have to stay behind and wonder all day where he is, or if he's even alive. And let's say he does survive and is discharged, will he stay here for you? Or will you go to Sarmatia for him? I just want you to realize what you have to be ready for, a lot of waiting, wondering, and worrying. I spent the past twenty-five years of my life doing just that, your father was a knight, he was never home as you remember, every night I cried myself to sleep praying he was alive and safe, rather than dead somewhere. I never wanted that kind of life for you girls, I wanted you to have a stable marriage, someone who is there when you need them."

"I understand, you should have told us this a long time ago."

"I know, especially Keena, maybe then she would realize why I tried so hard with Maccus."

She nodded agreeing. "He does love me, he wants to get married and have a family someday. I know it's sudden, we haven't known each other very long but I love him so much."

"Just being away from him now how much do you miss him?"

"A lot."

"Can you handle feeling like that for days or weeks while he's away on a mission?"

"For him yes."

"What if he's killed?"

She looked up at her mother shocked, she didn't want to hear that question.

"You have to consider the possibility that he will not live to see his discharge."

"He will."

"But what if he doesn't. I don't want to see my daughter go through that at such a young age."

She nodded and wiped her eyes again. "I don't know." She whispered.

"I don't want to upset you, just be realistic."

"I understand."

"Is everything alright?" Niallan asked walking in. He walked over to sit on his wife's other side.

"What's your opinion father?"

"I understand where your mother is coming from because of me being a knight and so she is talking from experience but the only reason she went through all that is because I didn't take the discharge, if he does then you won't have to worry about it."

"He swore he was going to take it, he didn't want to be in this life any more, he hates it and he hates Rome. So do the other knights, so neither me nor Keena has to worry about them not taking the discharge."

"But, she does have a point about the high possibility of him being killed in battle."

"I know."

"But, if you are willing to take the chance of that kind of heartache then I know you are serious about this and I just want you to be happy."

"I am happy."

"I'm sorry sweetheart."

"It's alright." she said hugging her mother. "I think Keena needs to hear this."

"Yes she does." Niallan said.

"She will, I promise."

They let go of each other and left the room together. Brienna went on with her mother to help clean the house, she still wasn't allowed outside, and Niallan went to see Merlin to see if he could get some information. Merlin knew Keena wouldn't mind so much him knowing because he wouldn't go after her like she wanted and he would understand but no one else. So when Niallan got to Merlin he did get an answer.

"I know you won't tell your own sister but Keena trusts me, I always know everything that girl does."

"Yes, yes. But, she fears that you will look down on her."

After a slight pause he asked, "What is she doing?"

"Killing the bishop."

"What? Why?"

"He has taken our people prisoner trying to convert them and killing them if he fails…and one of the ones he took was Guinevere."

"Oh gods, I am so sorry."

"She's strong."

Niallan didn't say anymore just got back on his horse and took a long ride.