24. The Rain
Jasper blinked until the red-haloed numbers on his alarm clock became clear. 9:23. Just over thirty minutes until Emmett was due to take him and Bella back to the hospital. No time to catch up on the sleep his body craved. No time to turn his bed into the whole of his world, hiding out with Bella and forgetting everything that existed outside the sheets.
Bella lay on her stomach, her breaths slow and even. His hand splayed possessively across her lower back, over the stripe of skin between her t-shirt and her pajama bottoms. Pushing the sheet down to her hips, he dipped his head and feathered kisses along her abacus tattoo, as if belatedly soothing the sting of the needle.
Bella — not so asleep as she appeared — squirmed and giggled. "That tickles," she said. "You need to shave."
"You think so?" Grasping her waist, he rubbed his scruffy jaw against her skin. "Maybe I should grow a beard like Emmett's."
When she wriggled around and braced her hands against his shoulders, he let her shove him onto his back. It didn't take much convincing, really. Her knees settled on either side of his abdomen as she pinned him to the mattress and graced him with a beautiful smile.
"Maybe I should grow my leg hair like Emmett's," she said.
"Only if you get the chest hair to match." Gently, he brought a handful of her hair around to rest over her heart. "Yep. Sexy."
"I'm not sure how I should feel that the first time you called me sexy, you were trying to make me look more like Emmett."
"Hey, the heart wants what the heart wants."
As he spoke, his hand belied his teasing words by skimming along the side of her breast. The billowing green fabric of her t-shirt concealed the shape of the soft flesh beneath his fingertips. He may as well have worn a blindfold.
Bella shivered. "Chest hair comment aside, I really want to kiss you right now, but I'm afraid of morning breath."
He grinned. "Likewise. We should get up, anyway. Emmett will be here soon, and he has a tendency to let himself in without knocking."
Sure enough, once they'd taken turns brushing their teeth and getting dressed, Emmett's voice rang out from downstairs, announcing his arrival. They found him leaning against one of the freshly painted living room walls, tapping a padded envelope against his knee.
"Hey, man," Emmett said, his smile twitching into something more uncertain when he saw Bella. "Um, I found something in Edward's room. It's for you. It's just... if it was me, I would've wanted..." His gaze slid toward Bella. "I'll put it in the kitchen or something. You can look at it later."
With a hand on his brother's arm, Jasper stopped his retreat to the kitchen and snatched the envelope out of his hand. A faded pink Post-It note fluttered to the ground like a dead leaf. Alice's bubbly handwriting stared up at him.
Give this to Jasper when the time is right. You'll know it when you see it. XOXO.
"Oh," was all he could say.
"It was on his end table," Emmett said, gesturing to the envelope. "I guess the time was starting to look right."
Bella bent at the waist, picking up the Post-It and running her finger along the hugs and kisses as if returning the affection to their writer.
"Come on," she said, tugging on Emmett's elbow. "You can show me around the neighborhood, and we'll buy something for breakfast."
With a squeeze of Jasper's hand and a soft kiss pressed to his cheek, she slipped her feet into her shoes. Emmett trailed close behind as she scurried outside. Jasper watched them through the window. The sun highlighted Bella's hair with red. Emmett flung his bulky arm around her shoulder, whispering something that made her elbow connect with his ribs. Once they rounded the corner, Jasper tipped the envelope upside down. A shiny silver circle speckled with pink marker hearts slid into his palm.
A CD. Alice had left him a CD.
He moved as if in the hazy depths of a dream, arriving at the CD player on the kitchen counter without fully realizing how he got there. Nervous energy tingled up his spine and down his arms as he put the CD in place and hit 'play.'
He felt like a thief, stealing this piece of his late wife before Edward was fully ready to give it.
"I have this theory," Alice's voice said, as though picking up in the middle of a conversation he didn't remember starting. "See, I've been thinking a lot about mates. Well, when Edward isn't around. I've never believed in fate — not really. I've seen too many possible futures die out before they come to pass to think that anyone has only one possible destiny. But I do believe that you and I were meant to be. My theory is that vampires have mates because they're frozen at one age forever, and only something monumental can change them. That version of me — the 19-year-old with no memory of her human life — was perfect for the 20-year-old you. That we actually managed to find each other is as close to fate as anyone can get.
"Humans have their own brand of destiny — even shakier than ours. They may meet that person who is their ideal match, but they change so easily. Once in a while, if they're very lucky, they end up becoming even better suited to each other as they change together. And sometimes they need a little push to even get started. I hope Edward gives this to you when he should. If he knows what's good for him, he will. Oh, and if our dear brother and a certain not-so-young lady take too long to get their act together, promise me you'll play this CD for him as well. You'll know who I mean before too much longer, if you don't already.
"If I don't make it through this battle, you're going to have a new destiny. Believe me, I'm going to try to live. I'm going to fight. But if you're listening to this..." Her voice trembled into muted, shaky gasps. "I love you. I love her. I do. So, I guess there's only one thing left to say."
And then, she started singing. It took Jasper a few moments to recognize the tune. Of the thousands of films he'd seen as a vampire, those made by Disney were not among those he chose to commit to memory as a human. It wasn't until the end of the first verse that a laugh exploded from his mouth.
"And you don't know why but you're dying to try. You wanna kiss the girl."
Alice even put mimicked the accent of the cartoon crab who sang the original: the final, cheesy touch on a masterpiece that was so overwhelmingly Alice, he had to smile.
"You're a bit late on that one, darlin'," he said to the empty space left behind when her voice stopped. "Guess you couldn't see everything."
Two minutes slipped by, silence the only answer to his words. Leaning forward, he propped his forearms on the cold granite of the countertop.
"Boo!" Alice said, her laugh harmonizing with his startled curse. "Sorry. I couldn't resist. Love you."
The CD player whirred back to the beginning of the single track. Jasper stopped it.
Alice had said nothing of Edward's illness. He hadn't expected her to, but a sliver of hope had worked its way under his skin. If she'd seen it coming, she would have warned them.
He busied his too-full mind with tidying all of the things he hadn't bothered with before his trip to the UK. By the time Emmett and Bella returned, Jasper had managed to sweep the living room and put all of the broken tiles into a box that he was sure he'd forget almost immediately after shoving it into his loft on the off-chance that the tiles might prove useful someday.
"Hey," Bella said, kissing his shoulder on her way to the fridge. "You hungry?"
Lingering in the archway that led to the front of the house, Emmett crossed his arms and watched her make herself at home in Jasper's kitchen. Neither of them mentioned the delivery from Alice.
"I could eat," Jasper said, nodding toward her canvas shopping bag. "What'd you get?"
"Fruit, mostly." Pausing, she popped a purple-black grape into her mouth. "I still need to convert some pounds to euros. Didn't even think of that, so Em had to pay. I picked everything out, though. If I'd left it up to him, we'd be eating ice cream. We also got bread and milk and butter. And coffee, since I doubted you'd have any and I need some that isn't that sludge they have at the hospital. Do you want any toast or anything? I could make some, if you still need a minute. I'll even touch Marmite for you."
Instead of answering her, Jasper took Alice's advice. He curled a finger beneath Bella's chin, tilted her face up, and kissed the girl.
-oOo-
The next three days passed much as the first one had. Waiting. Coffee. Waiting. Magazines and crosswords and whispered worries. Waiting. Reminding Esme to eat and drink and take her prescribed course of antibiotics. Waiting.
Jasper and Emmett — and, on one occasion, Irina — translated for Bella, but the subtle shift of Carlisle's expressions became her true barometer for judging the progress of Edward's condition. Carlisle knew more than any of them — possibly more than Edward's doctors, if he'd retained even a third of his medical experience as a vampire. She dreaded the moments when he sought out a quiet corner to clasp his hands together and bow his head. Once or twice, Emmett joined him and surprised Bella by crossing himself.
The mental image of a younger, even more mischievous Emmett as an altar boy made her smile.
On the fourth day, Bella could put off her return to Nottingham no longer. Leaving the antiseptic crawl of the hospital behind for the bustle of the airport felt like stepping into another world — another life.
"Call me when you land," Jasper said, holding her tight.
"I will. Ugh. The real world should just go away. I'd like to keep laboring under the delusion that the long distance part of our long distance relationship is never going to happen."
"Me too."
He kissed her like he'd never stop — like it wasn't any sort of goodbye.
"I'll see you soon," he said.
She forced a smile. "See you."
-oOo-
From: J. W. Hale
To: Bella Swan
Date: 01/10/2014
Edward update: His kidneys aren't doing too well on the stronger antibiotics. He's on dialysis now.
My phone arrived today, so you can start sending me text messages again. Out of curiosity, is it always so difficult for humans to fall asleep on their own once they start to grow accustomed to sharing a bed?
Love,
Jasper
-oOo-
From: Bella Swan
To: J. W. Hale
Date: 01/10/2014
Oh, no. I'm hoping and hoping and hoping that all of this will pass and he'll end up happy and healthy.
Does all of this make you regret your decision to become human? I've been wondering. If it was you in Edward's position, would you want to be changed back?
Yeah, I think it's pretty standard to have trouble falling asleep when the bed feels too empty. I'm having the same problem. Is it Easter yet?
Love,
Bella
-oOo-
From: J. W. Hale
To: Bella Swan
Date: 01/10/2014
I wouldn't say I regret the decision itself so much as I wish we'd better prepared ourselves instead of getting so excited and jumping in all at once. It was reckless and foolish. For all our combined age and experience, we behaved like a bunch of kids who wanted a shiny new toy.
Changing back. Hmm. I told Carlisle to change me if anything went wrong during the transition from vampire to human, but I don't know. Not only would I be forced to stay away from you and my family for your safety, I'd probably lose the majority of my memories. And then there's the matter of newborn bloodlust. If Leah's blood really didn't work again and I ran into you during the first few years...
No. I don't think I would want to be changed back. I'm sorry. I know your feelings on the matter are different.
Clearly, the solution to our sleeping difficulties is for you to come back to Spain. It's the only way either of us will get any rest. I could come visit you for a weekend sometime soon. I'm not sure when, just yet, but I promise I'll give you advance notice this time instead of just showing up on your doorstep.
Love,
Jasper
-oOo-
From: Austin Marks
To: Bella Swan
Date: 01/20/2014
Do you think it'd be weird if I invited you to my wedding?
:)
— Austin
-oOo-
From: Bella Swan
To: Austin Marks
Date: 01/20/2014
!
Did you ask Angela to marry you? When did this happen? I just heard from her two days ago. She didn't say anything. Oh, my God. I am sitting here with the biggest, most ridiculous grin on my face. This is the best news I've gotten in a while. I'm so happy for you! Congratulations.
It'd be weird if you didn't ask me, because I'd show up even without an invite. Can't see how that'd be anything but awkward.
You'd better save me a dance at the reception, mister.
— Bella
-oOo-
From: Austin Marks
To: Bella Swan
Date: 01/21/2014
Yeah, I asked her to marry me yesterday, just before I wrote that message to you. It was kind of spontaneous, actually, but it felt right. God, you should've heard my mom when I told her. Well, you've met the woman. You can imagine.
We're thinking about having the wedding on our anniversary in June. No need to crash the party; you're definitely invited. Ange and I have been bickering over whose side of the church you'll be on. After a few vicious rounds of Rock, Paper, Scissors, we agreed to just let you choose. Hint: the groom's side is the correct option.
Feel free to bring a date, by the way. Angela says you're dating Jasper Hale now? It'll be like a mini-high school reunion. I'm sure Jessica and Lauren and Mike will be there. The bouquet toss will be your second chance to yank out Lauren's hair and do a Xena yell and I forget what else was on that list, but you can't very well pass it up.
Anyway, I hope you can make it. I'll definitely save a dance for you. The wedding is going to be in Forks, since both of our families are there. Which means I guess I can't get around inviting Tyler. Dammit.
How's Edward doing? I was so sorry to hear about him being in the hospital. Makes me feel bad for all of those times I threatened to attempt to put him there on your behalf. Then I remember that there's no way I could've succeeded, and the guilt goes away. I hope he gets better soon. And how are you?
— Austin
-oOo-
"What's that noise?" Bella said, switching her phone to her left ear as she crammed too many clothes into the washing machine. "Are you running water?"
"Yep," Jasper said. "I'm tired and dirty, so you're coming in the bath with me."
The flush that heated her neck and flooded into her cheeks had nothing to do with embarrassment. "I should be so lucky."
He chuckled. "Oh, is this one of those calls?"
"You should be so lucky."
When they had a similar conversation as friends, he'd been sarcastic and silly. Now, his voice warmed and softened as it wrapped around the words, "Oh baby, oh baby," joking as they were.
Bella swallowed. The thunk of metal hitting a tile floor filtered through the connection. His belt buckle?
"When are you going to visit?" she said.
"When do you want me there?"
Now.
"I was going to ask if I could come see you next weekend, actually," he said before she could answer, "but maybe I could fly out there this Friday?"
"That'd be perfect."
The brass flap on the letterbox clanked. After measuring out detergent and spinning the clicky dial to the correct wash cycle, she wandered into the living room. Amidst Gemma's magazines and junk mail, there was a slim parcel for Bella, plastered with a green US customs label. The upper left corner of the package held a surprise name scrawled above the La Push return address: Seth Clearwater.
"Huh," she said. "Seth sent me something."
The rattle of the ancient washing machine almost drowned out Jasper's response of, "Oh yeah? What?" Retreating to the comparative quiet of her bedroom, she battled her way through Seth's apparent love of packing tape and bubble wrap. The package's contents were few: a letter scribbled in angular handwriting that screamed boy, a CD, and a few photographs.
"It's Edward," she said. "Pictures of him, I mean. The ones he hid under the floorboards at Charlie's house when he left Forks. And the CD he recorded for my 18th birthday." Unfolding the letter, she read it aloud to Jasper. "Bella, Thought you might want this stuff back someday, so I held onto it when you told me to get rid of it. Hope Edward gets better soon. Seth."
"That was nice of — damn, hold on. My landline is ringing."
While Jasper ran off to answer the other call, Bella smoothed her thumb over the crease where she'd folded one of the photographs. The Edward who stood with his hand on the younger Bella's shoulder looked like a stranger — like the ghost she'd banished on First Beach. Because they were the only pictures she had of him, stranger or no, she slipped them into her photo album near the rest of her high school memories.
"Hey," Jasper said. "Sorry, I have to go. Edward is awake."
-oOo-
From: J. W. Hale
To: Bella Swan
Date: 01/29/2014
I tried calling you, but got your voicemail.
Edward update (a very long one, this time): He can't hear. No word yet on whether it'll be permanent. Esme said that before I got there, he managed to move his fingers along Irina's arm like he was playing the piano.
Rose showed up to see him at the same time as me. I kind of wonder if she stayed away so much because she couldn't stand sitting and waiting for news. She kept herself pretty busy. My downstairs bathroom is tiled now, thanks to her. I suppose we all deal with this sort of thing in our own way.
Rose managed to retain a bit of American Sign Language after her change, but Edward didn't seem to remember much of it. Only twice did he indicate that he realized what she was trying to say. She probably thinks I didn't see it, but after flipping him off, she sneakily flashed him the sign for, "I love you."
See? She does have a heart. Then again, perhaps it was the pregnancy hormones.
Please don't tell her I said that about the hormones.
Fortunately, Edward's vision hasn't changed, so we were able to talk to him using notebooks. Apparently some people put on their glasses after getting meningitis and find that they need a new prescription. We asked him yes or no questions, and he tapped his finger to answer us, since he's pretty weak. Trying to talk (well, yell, really, since he couldn't judge the volume) hurt his throat. He kept staring at me, so I asked if he wanted me to leave. He said no and looked confused, so I asked if he remembered our conversation on my birthday. More confusion, and another negative answer. Cue panic from me, because I thought we'd have to have the whole fight all over again once he was well. And then he laughed at me. He remembered the whole thing.
Emmett thought it was great. He's convinced that if Edward is making jokes at my expense, he must be on the mend. Rose said she thinks the doctors must've removed the stick from his ass when they put a shunt in his brain. I'm not sure which is closer to the truth. Either way, I'm glad. He can make fun of me as often as he likes, as long as he keeps improving.
He didn't stay awake for long, but it was the first time he interacted with anyone. We're cautiously optimistic — Carlisle especially, which I take to be a damn good sign.
Call me when you get this. I miss you.
Love,
Jasper
-oOo-
Variations in temperature were among Jasper's favorite things about being human. He sat on his terrace, head tilted back, relishing the chilly breeze that swept over his arms and sneaked up his neck. It was so different — all of it. Before, only the searing heat of werewolves made an impression. Everything else was as flavorless as the endless repetition of high school. Different smells had accompanied snow and rain, and as a vampire he could tell whether something was hot or cold, but it didn't matter.
A bruise he didn't remember getting marred his wrist, yellow and purple smudging across the branching of blue veins. He rubbed his thumb over it. This body was so fragile.
Over the laughing shouts of a group of children, a trill of music announced a call from Bella. With the next ring, the phone skittered across the table.
"Hey, are you at your house?" she said as soon as he picked up.
"Yeah. Have been since the last time you called."
She laughed. "Then why aren't you answering your door?"
"What? Are you... hold on."
Taking the steps two at a time, he raced into the house. Opening the front door revealed a smiling, travel-worn Bella.
"Surprise."
A/N: I obviously don't own any of the lyrics that you recognize. And my sincere apologies if I got that song stuck in your head. It's been in mine for weeks now, and misery loves company. :P