A/N: Ok guys sorry it has took me awhile just to get this chapter out, I just have been lazy and haven't wrote a thing. I atleast will admit that atleast I will be finishing this soon I can say atleast 3 more chapters and the sequel will come out. Just so you know the Sequel takes place about five years after this story. I just hope you love it as much as you love this one.
Disclaimer: I am not SM!!!!!!
Chapter 23: something's are just hard to swallow.
Nessie
I had just called Miriam, I asked her to pick up a pregnancy test for me. She came over and handed me the test. I took a deep sigh as we waited for the five minutes to go by.
"Did you have sex with Taylor?" she asked me. I looked at her and shook my head no.
"If I am pregnant it would be by my Ex boyfriend." I was nervous and I started shaking.
"Don't be too nervous if you are there are always alternatives Ness."
"I know and that's what worries me more." I cupped my cheeks in my hands and waited for the timer to be done. I was so nervous to the point where my palms were all sweaty.
The timer finally rang and I rushed over to the purple and white stick. I took a look and there was a little plus. I started freaking out even more.
"What does it say Nessie?" Miriam asked me. She looked over my shoulder and saw the little plus. "Maybe you aren't even pregnant that test is kind of cheap." I so wanted to believe she was right, but there was only one way for me to find out if I was for sure.
"Miriam, do you know a free clinic I could go too?" I asked her.
"Yea there is one I could take you to, it's completely confidential." she assured me. I knew I had to definitely go to the free clinic.
"You think we can go today after school?"
"Yea but it would be better if we skipped school and went now, they get pretty full after school when all the girls want to get checked out." she had a good point then. I was all nervous I didn't know what to expect now.
We went to the free clinic and I had to fill out some paper work. We were there for two hours before we could even get to talk to a doctor. A doctor with long brown wavy hair came in wearing her white doctor coat and a stethoscope wrapped around her neck. She had a yellow folder in her hand.
"Ms. Swan how are you today?" she asked me as she sat down at the little desk with a computer on it. I also gave her a fake name, just in case you know.
"I am good." I lied, but mostly when someone asks you how you are, you end up saying good anyway.
Miriam was my support and she was holding my hand. She would be the only one I would tell about this. I could tell she was very trustworthy, not to mention she was in love with my little brother. She was a very good friend in the little time I have known her.
"I want you to take this and give me a urine sample ok Renesmee." She was the first person to say my name correctly. The doctor's name was Fuentes. I took the empty plastic cup from her hand and peed in it. After another thirty minutes of waiting I was finally going to get my results.
"Ok Renesmee I have the results and you are pregnant, but it's my job to let you know your options. Here we are completely confidential and we will not tell your parents about this, we won't call your house or send your results to your house. We don't work like that. I want you to talk to Kendra who is an advocate on awareness and she will let you know options." I had to admit she was pretty helpful and they treated me pretty nice even for a free clinic. Miriam and I went to talk to Kendra to know options. I knew one option I would never take and that's abortion, I don't believe in killing something that isn't to blame for my mistakes.
We went and sat in a closed off room with a long table and chairs all around. Kendra had pamphlets and she looked like she was ready to help out.
"Ok so I am here to talk to you about options." she smiled and then spread out the pamphlets.
"Ok." I squeezed Miriam's hand tighter.
"Is the father involved?" she asked me and I shook my head no. I knew that the only person who could be the father to my child would be Jacob. "Does he know?" I didn't like the fact that she was all in my business.
"No it's kind of a long story as to why he doesn't know." I now crossed my arms and looked away.
"You know there is the choice of adoption, having the baby, and finally abortion. As a woman you have the right to choose what you want to do." I knew the choice I would never pick was abortion. I believe it isn't ok for someone to take the life of a child that is innocent.
I knew what I was going to have to do; I know I wouldn't give the baby up for adoption. I would have it no matter what my parents, family, or anybody says. I would have this baby. So why was I scared about it now. I didn't have Jake and I am scared he might act the same way he did when he found out Megan was pregnant.
I took a deep breath and I had to leave. I didn't want her to convince me into a choice I wasn't willing to take.
--
PRESENT DAY!
Ugh ever since I have found out I was pregnant has been horrible. I am two months pregnant with the child of Jacob Black. The thing that makes everything complicated is he doesn't know and I would never tell him I am. I haven't seen a difference in my body just yet. I did get this small bump, but it isn't very much something to worry about it just looks like I gained a little weight. My appetite has gained. I can eat a lot more now.
I had to go to school today and I wasn't really in the mood to go. I sighed deeply as I ran the brush through my hair once more. I have no clue as to how I got myself into the things I got myself into.
My phone rang and it was Taylor that meant he was downstairs waiting for me. I grabbed my book bag and swung it over my shoulder. I walked downstairs into the kitchen and grabbed a granola bar. I smelled the eggs aunt Rosalie was cooking and it repulsed me. I hated the smell of eggs right now, I also couldn't stand chicken.
"Hey sweetie are you sure you don't want anything?" aunt Rosalie asked me as she emptied the contents of a skillet.
"Yea I am fine; I'll just grab something with Taylor a little later."
I said as I was starting to walk to the door. My uncle eyed me curiously and suspiciously.
"I am glad you like it here. I like the fact that you actually get along with people here. It's a big difference from the depressed Renesmee you left in New York." Emmett continued as he had the news paper in his hand.
"Emmett!" Rosalie scolded him.
"What that's a good thing." he looked a little scared and I couldn't help but laugh.
"Its fine Aunt Rose, well I am going to go. Taylor is outside see you guys later." I kissed Rosalie's cheek and walked out the door. I saw Taylor outside his black Porsche. He smiled at me and walked over to me and kissed my cheek. Taylor knew I was pregnant, he even agreed to take care of me and the baby and I highly appreciated that.
Taylor was so sweet, I didn't know if I would be able to take his life away like that. He taking care of a child that wasn't even his it wasn't fair towards him and I couldn't really do it to him. Taylor is still young and he shouldn't be dragged in to my mistakes.
"Are you ready to go?" he asked me. I looked at him and smiled I wasn't so in the mood at the moment. I didn't want to go to school; I guess you could say I was feeling lazy.
"Yea I am ready," I sighed and he grabbed my hand.
"Are you sure? You look out of it, I promise I will come get you after school, you get out at 2:30 right?"
"Yea 2:30 is right babe." I smiled and this time it wasn't forced. We got in the car and he drove me to school.
"I will be here after school waiting for you. We can go out to eat or something, whatever you want ok."
"Thanks Taylor I will be looking forward to it." I kissed his cheek and then he turned and I kissed his lips. It was a bit different his kisses were sort of cold. Not at all hot like Jake's kisses were.
I got out the car and walked inside and prepared myself mentally for the day ahead. I don't know why I had a weird feeling in my stomach that something was going to happen, call it a gut instinct.
My day ran pretty smooth Miriam said she met some new boy in her classes and he was pretty cool. She said he came from Washington State, he looked Native American. That right there should have been a wakeup call and it sort of wasn't.
When I heard that sexy deep voice say "Excuse me is this seat taken?" I looked up from my notebook and saw the face I haven't seen in awhile and I couldn't help but role my eyes afterwards. I looked up and saw a beautiful familiar face. I kind of wasn't expecting him to show up like that. I sighed internally.
"What you doing here?" I asked him.
"I go to school here now." he shrugged like it wasn't a big deal.
"How oh my god!" I was shocked I never expected to see him here not at this time when things were smooth.
"Long story, and you looking good a little thicker but in the right spots." he licked his lips as he looked me up and down. Obviously he hadn't noticed the small pouch I had for a stomach now.
"Yea damn just looking at you again this is a dream right?" I really couldn't believe I was actually looking at him now.
"No, no dream it's me babe. I am really here. Good to hear you missed me." He pushed closer to me and I could feel his breath. I knew I couldn't be dreaming he was real and he was here with me, but I was now in a relationship with someone else and I couldn't do that to Taylor when he was such a sweet heart.
I took a deep sigh and moved a little over away from him. I had to be serious at this point.
"You know I missed you a lot Nessie." I looked up and made eye contact with him and I don't know exactly why I did that. I turned and looked away as fast as I could I couldn't look at him directly. The bell rang and it was time for my next class which happened to be gym.
"So what class do you have next?"I asked as I clenched my books in my arms.
"I have gym, with some dude named Bennett and you?"
"Anderson, we are in the same class the teachers teach together. Since we are going the same way, you might as well go to my locker with me." I said honestly.
"Sure, but why don't you give me a kiss just like old times." He puckered his lips while we were in the hallway.
"Jake I can't." I frowned and felt my forehead wrinkle.
"Why not, don't tell me you are with someone else?" he gave me this annoyed look; I could tell his heart was breaking if I gave him the truth. I looked away and at my locker. "Damn it you are with someone else. I can't judge you though; I don't see why you wouldn't move on. Did you have sex with him?" I know he wanted to demand me an answer and I wasn't sure if I could give it to him just yet.
"No you are the only guy I have had sex with, Jake I'm sorry I just thought I wouldn't see you in awhile." I frowned the guilt was eating at me again; I didn't know how I was going to do things now.
He cupped my cheeks and pulled his face to mines, he kissed me slowly on the lips yet passionately. I don't know how I went so long without kissing him. It was as my lips were demanding to be with his at all hours. I had no words to describe how much my body missed him. Not only to mention how much had I missed him mentally not only physically. I love him and I think it would take a real long time for me to forget him or even simply move on. I don't think I would be able to.
I had no choice but to pull away, I knew it was wrong but the things that feel wrong are always the things that's feel oh so right. Jake was my personal drug and I didn't know how I could get my fix when he was gone. I guess I was sober for the few months I didn't have him.
"Nessie I still love you, I can't move on if it's not with you." I don't understand why he had to be so sweet all the time. That is one of the things I love about him. He was always about me, I came first and anything I wanted he would give it to me.
"Jake honey we're going to be late to class." I opened my locker and got my gym clothes out. I wasn't allowed to play gym, but I did have to wear the damn small gym uniform.
"So I am your honey?" he smiled the smile I missed so much and I hated him for it.
"Well I am going to class." I stuck my nose in the air and walked passed him, he grabbed me by the waist. I loved and missed the aggressive behavior from him.
"You're not going just yet." He kissed my cheek tenderly and my heart turned to mush.
"Jake please don't be so sweet." I sighed as I was still in his arms and gripping his forearm. "Let's just go to class please Jake." He finally agreed with me and we walked to the gym.
Since he was new he didn't need to change for gym, but I had to go into the girl's locker room to get dressed. When I got in I saw Miriam, I walked over to her and I needed to talk to her like seriously.
"Miriam we need to talk." I sat on the bench and put my head in my hands. I was sort of stressing do to the fact that Jake was here. I missed him like crazy when I didn't see him and now that I have him I am stressing because I am pregnant and I am not so sure to tell him or not.
I started hearing two girls chattering as they got dressed.
"Oh my gosh! Did you see the new boy he is so hot." I recognized her as Tiffany. I rolled my eyes as I looked up at her.
Miriam caught my annoyance, but seriously anyone could have caught it. When it comes to Jake I couldn't deny that I feel very protective over him. I guess it has to do with the fact that I love him. I will get all jealous girlfriend when it comes to him. I shouldn't be that way since I have a boyfriend and it isn't Jacob. Ugh I guess I really can't do anything about it since she likes him. He of course is single and able to mingle.
I feel so bad since he has been faithful completely during our separation and I had to go out and get a new man candy. Can I feel any worse about myself if possible?
"What did you want to talk about Ness?" Miriam sat next to me on the bench and rubbed my back. I put my head on her shoulder and tried to relax.
"My kids father is the new boy." I whispered lightly to her as I put a little more pressure on her shoulder. I took a deep sigh and breathed in through my nose and let out through my mouth. I knew I was capable of starting to hyperventilate.
"Calm down are you serious?" she looked down at me. "Are you sure?" she looked just as shocked as I was when I saw Jacob in my history class.
"Yea I am serious; he just comes now that things were smooth. The thing is I still love him, I won't stop loving him. I don't know what to do Miriam." I felt like I wanted to cry, but the tears wouldn't come. I knew I could break down though. I was an emotional wreck at the moment.
"First thing is first just relax ok honey; things will work out for the best ok Hun. You have me and Brandon to back you up no matter what. I promise I will always be her for you. You are my sister Nessie." She smiled that easy relax flowing smile and it calmed me down.
Since I was more calmed down I was able to get dressed and get myself together. Personally I think I really needed it because if I didn't I would be freaking out horribly by now. I walked out into the gym and Jacob was sitting on the bleachers looking his normal sexy self. I was about to go walk over to him. He might be my Ex, but I have always been on good terms with Jake and it would suck if we lost that friendship we have.
Tiffany walked over to him and was twisting the ends of her hair and I could tell she was flirting with him and I didn't like it at all. I walked over to them and sat next to Jake. I could tell Tiffany didn't like that. When Jake wrapped his arm around me I was shocked, but he did it out of habit and I felt safe in his arms. I think Tiffany caught the hint and she backed up all red faced.
"Thanks there mama, that girl was kind of annoying." He smiled at me and kissed the side of my face.
"So let's talk seriously, what are you doing here? Are you stalking me?" I asked as I eyed him up and down and noticed his new outfit and let me say it didn't look cheap at all.
"Well I live with my mother, it's not something permanent it's just for two months and I am going back to Forks with my old man."
I didn't know what he was talking about, I remember him telling me his mother had passed away when he was young and that confused me a bit. I guess I twisted my face in some confused expression because Jacob started laughing and I elbowed him in the stomach.
"Relax little mama, I thought she was dead but she came to my house on my birthday. She just came I didn't know what to think since one my father lied to me, two she thinks she can come into my life and make everything all better by taking me now that I'm eighteen. So when you called me on my birthday I was a little out of it and I didn't want you to take it the wrong way. I bet you thought I was cheating." He sighed deeply than grabbed my hand.
"Nessie when my mother told me she lived in L.A. and I knew you lived here I was like what without a doubt I am out there. But I never expected for the one to be cheating would be you. Why couldn't you think of it as if I was on vacation somewhere? I have to admit I am a bit hurt at this point." He took another deep sigh and rubbed the back of my hand.
He just made me feel a hundred times horrible at the moment. I know I should just trust my heart we shouldn't do these things to each other, but I still can't do it to Taylor or to my kid. I just felt horrible knowing that he still thought about me even if we were apart. I put my head on his shoulder and he put his head on top of mine.
"Jake you just made me feel horrible just now." I sighed deeply.
"That wasn't the intention at all, but I just wanted to know do you think of me? You know even now?"
"Jake to be honest with you, yes I do think about you." It was the truth since when I am pregnant with this guy's child. I guess I have no choice but to think about him since I am still in love with him.
"That's all I wanted to know mama. So why do it? You know get a new man and shit?"he turned to look at me and I lifted my head off his shoulder. I couldn't help but to stare into his deep brown eyes that melt to liquid dark chocolate.
"I thought maybe I should move on I never thought I would see you again. I never expected that you would be here with me now. Don't get me wrong I still care about you." I closed my eyes and turned away.
"Ren!" I heard Brandon's voice and I was happy that he came to interrupt. I don't know what I would have done if he didn't. He jogged over to us and he helped me off the bleachers.
"Thanks seriously." I whispered in my little brother's ear. As long as we were here I might as well introduce the two. "Brandon this is Jacob, Jacob this is my little brother Brandon."
"Hello." Brandon held his hand out to Jacob and Jacob nodded his head and they shook hands. "Wow he does look a lot like Taylor." Brandon whispered in my ear and I gave a chuckle. If he only knew that the only reason I dated Taylor was because he looked like Jacob.
"Cullen! I need to speak to you." Ms. Anderson called me over.
I knew she wanted to talk about which days I wouldn't be coming in and what I would need to do as an extra credit since I wouldn't be able to participate in gym class for the rest of the school year.
Jacob
I just saw her flutter away and all gracefully, I had to admit she had a glow in her face and she looked all happy. The guy she was with had to be doing something right if she was radiating to an extreme like that. I looked at her hips sway as she walked away; I had to admit her ass was looking real right in those gym shorts. I think I was starting to drool because her little brother started snapping his fingers at me.
"Dude I see you like my sister a lot since your drooling over her."
"I don't like Nessie, I love her. I thought I should clear that up. I dated your little sister, obviously I see she has moved on." I sighed at the realization that she had a boyfriend.
I still couldn't believe she did that to me. Part of me can't blame her and the other part is wishing she could have just waited for us to get back together, or at least gave me a chance to like stack some money up and have us just be together. She chose her decisions and I think they were a bit idiotic.
--
The period went pretty quick. I was going to hang out with Melanie like Sarah wanted me to. I was waiting for Melanie outside. I spotted this nice black Porsche pull up to the front of the school. I had to admit it was a pretty sweet car. This preppy pretty boy come out of the car, I figured preppy boy expensive car it adds up.
He stood in front of the school a couple feet away from me. I took my phone out and text Melanie to hurry up so we could leave. I really didn't want to bump into Nessie and see her with her boyfriend I don't know how my heart would be able to take that just yet.
"Hey do you know what time it is?" the pretty boy asked me. I wasn't going to be rude so I answered him.
"It's 2:40 right now."
"Alright thanks man."
Some girl walks up to me and pretty boy. I bet she wanted to hit on me like all the girls have been doing all day. I sighed internally for that.
"Hey are you two like brothers you guys look a lot alike." She looked all bewildered by the thought of it. Obviously I had no interest in her.
"No we are not brothers." I answered a bit coldly. I wouldn't want to be related to some rich pretty boy.
Nessie's brother walked out of the school with Miriam. It figures that would be her boyfriend and Nessie was her best friend. They walked over to where I was. I was starting to get a real bad feeling that I was about to witness something I didn't want to.
"Oh hey what's up bro.?" Brandon greeted the pretty boy. Nessie walked out of the school with a smile on her face as she held up her book bag to her shoulder. Pretty boy ignored Brandon and walked over to Nessie. He treated her like she was sick or she was dying I didn't really understand the reason for it, until he put his lips to hers and I saw black.
I didn't like what I saw and it figures Nessie would go for a guy who looked like him, it seems to be so Nessie. In that my little sister came out of the school and over to me, the only thing on my mind was to get out of there and fast.
Melanie caught my attitude because as we started walking away she was trying to keep up to me. When we got in the car she grabbed my arm and made me turn to look at her.
"Jacob I know we don't know each other that well, but seriously talk to me. I can tell something is bothering you and you shouldn't let it build up that isn't good for you." I turned to look at her and her pleading eyes, she started to make me feel bad and I couldn't let her feel a certain way. I took a sigh and began to talk knowing very well it would do well and bad to my mind.
"I just saw my ex girlfriend, and she has a new boyfriend. It is to the point I still love her and the only reason I wasn't with her was because of her father being a fucking prick." I sighed once more just to let out some of my frustrations. If it wasn't for Edward I would still be with Nessie and we would be back in Washington happy and none of this shit would be happening.
"That must be tuff Jake; I can tell it is tearing at you. Why don't we just go out so you can take your mind off of her? Obviously she isn't worth it." Melanie had a point there; I just needed to get my mind off the situation even if I would need to deal with this shit again tomorrow.
Nessie
Jacob had just left like storming out mad. I guess it was coming and that's what I was afraid of. I took a deep sigh as I was in the car with Taylor. I was staring out of the window.
"Nessie are you ok?" he asked me. I think anyone could sense my mood at the point.
"I saw him, you were standing right next to him." I sighed and I couldn't avoid the tears that were building up all day.
"Oh that was him, your ex boyfriend." Taylor pulled over into a parking lot. "Nessie I couldn't hurt you and I want you to be completely honest with me as well. Do you still love him?" his question caught me off guard. I didn't expect that from him.
"To be honest Taylor, I have never stopped loving him." I sighed again as the tears streamed down my cheeks. "I love him." Taylor pulled me into his arms and just let me cry for a few minutes. I finally pulled away after ten minutes of crying my heart out which made me feel a lot better.
"Why don't we go get you and the baby something to eat and then we can rent a movie and go to my house and watch the movie." Taylor was so laid back that I loved it. He could make me feel better and that's what made our relationship a good one, even though I thought of him more of a best friend than in a romantic relationship. The thing I had to expect now was what was I going to do about Jake? I still had to deal with him at school and that kind of freaked me out a bit.
--
About a month went by and things were going pretty well, it was now March and things were going better than I thought. I was still with Taylor it was to the point where I knew he wouldn't leave me and he would be there for me a support to me. Jacob would still try to get close to me and it wasn't as much as a problem that I couldn't deal with it. But he would try to feel up on me and still steal a kiss here and there. I was a sucker for his charm so I would most of the time fall for his charm.
Taylor told me he was going back to Vancouver for filming the second installment of the movie he was working on. This time he asked me to go with him. I found out Jacob lived three houses down from mines. It wasn't as much as a problem as I thought it would be. I ended up taking the decision of going to Vancouver with Taylor. I think I knew it was a stupid decision in not telling Jacob I was pregnant, but to me it was the best idea I could come up with at that point.
So I was going with Taylor to Vancouver. I didn't tell Jake because I knew he would be pissed. We were friends now, but we knew it was distant. He wanted it to be closer but I was the one who put the distant on it. My pregnancy was going pretty well and I wasn't having any problems with it.
So I was on my way to go to Vancouver with Taylor. We were getting our stuff in the car and just ready to go. Brandon and Miriam were over the house to say goodbye. We were going for a small period of time and we would be back to Los Angeles.
"Damn Ren can't believe you are really going to go with Taylor." Brandon chuckled as he made it a joke. I giggled about it as well. Miriam pulled me to the side and I knew she wanted to talk to me about what I was doing. She has been the one, who has been my support and has told me to open up and tell Jacob, but I have been so stubborn and I will not tell him out of my fear of rejection.
"Nessie please don't do this just tell him." I ignored her I knew it wasn't the nicest thing to do. I shrugged and walked over to Taylor.
Unexpectedly Jacob walked down the block and in front of my house, I wasn't expecting to see him and it sort of pissed me off.
"Nessie! Where do you think you're going?" he demanded. The only thing on my mind was 'Oh Crap!'
I hope you liked this Chapter and i am happy to say it is almost done and it will get a bit more interested in a couple more chapters.
Well now you can let me know what you think honey's!! ^_^