True Love Way

Chapter 24

I'd barely put my car in park when I threw open the door and raced up Rosalie's driveway. I prayed she was home. I needed her now more than ever.

"Hey, you!" She smiled widely as she greeted me at the door with Nathan in her arms. "I was about to have some lunch. Join me?"

"Can't," I panted. The adrenaline flowing through me left me breathless. "I'm here for a favour. A huge one."

Her eyes widened in interest. "What do you need?"

"Help. You said I never ask for help. I'm asking."

"And I repeat – what do you need?"

I smiled at my eternally giving sister. "Would you mind moving back into my apartment temporarily?"

"Lonely?"

I shook my head. "I'm going to get Bella. You were right, Rose. She fooled us all with her act of strength. She's folding at this very moment, and I need to get to her."

Concern flashed across her face. "Where is she? Do you want me to go with you? I'll call Em."

Again, I shook my head. "This is something I have to do on my own. I'm going to get my girl."

Rosalie's eyes shimmered as she smiled widely. "You are. Go! Go get her, Edward. Bring her home!"

I embraced her quickly, stopping to drop a light kiss on my nephew's soft head. "Take care of your mom, big guy. Don't let Don Everly steal all your toys. See you soon."

I had contemplated driving to Seattle. The chances of a last-minute flight to anywhere near Phoenix were much better there. In the end, I decided to stick close to home. Port Angeles sent me to Portland, where I was on a standby list to both Phoenix and Los Angeles. We were barely in the air long enough for me to realize what I was doing. It didn't matter anyway. Anxiety be damned, nothing could stop me from going to Bella.

Racing through the terminal, I was moments too late for the Phoenix flight. Los Angeles was fully booked, but I waited anyway. Desperate to get moving anywhere nearer to my girl, I took the last seat on a flight to Salt Lake City. The broker informed me I would make it in plenty of time to catch the Phoenix flight from there, and she pre-booked me on it. I wanted to jump the counter and lay a big kiss on her, but I didn't need security hauling me out. Instead, I gave her my most sincere thanks, smiled, and took off for the security checkpoint. The line got me riled. I wanted to scream at the people who waited until they were up there to begin the jacket and shoe removal. Even I knew airport routines, and I didn't fly. I was six people back when the final boarding call was announced for my flight. My nerves kicked in, as did my ability to be even the slightest bit socially correct. When the lady at the head of the line began complaining about the restrictions on her carry-on items, I lost it.

"For Christ's sake, lady! Is jam a fluid? Are you serious?" Why would she even think that it would be accepted in a carry-on?

"I think it's more of a solid, actually," a man in the next line offered.

"Technically, it's both," a third opined. "A gel, really."

I threw my head back and silently prayed to the ceiling for a way to escape this. "Honestly, I believe you're correct. But since it does contain properties of a fluid, and fluids in that quantity are banned from flights, whether it also has properties of a solid is redundant."

"What will I do with it?" The jam lady refused to give up. "Does anyone actually think I would tamper with jars of jam? Does anyone mind if I bring this on?"

"If she brings that, I'm keeping my three dollar bottle of water!" A voice shouted from the end of the line.

"And I'm not drinking my bottled breast milk to prove it's not contaminated."

As everyone in wait began offering their opinions and complaints, any patience I had disappeared. "Fluid!" I shouted over the noise to the jam lady. "No fluids! Get over it. You know you can buy jam pretty much anywhere. It's fruit or berries and a shitload of sugar. It's the same everywhere. Can we move on now?"

She looked away in horror as several others in front and behind snickered. One man applauded my lack of verbal tact, and soon I was racing for the gate.

"No, no, no, noooo!" I cried out as the doors to my gate were pulled shut. "I'm here! I'm on that plane. Please! I need to be on that plane."

"Sorry, sir. It's already been disengaged from the walkway. You'll have to go to booking and see when the next flight is."

I dropped my only piece of luggage – a small carry-on, and dragged my hands down my face. Why did this have to be so difficult? I was doing the right thing. For once, couldn't everyone just be on my side? For once, couldn't things just work out for me? I began pacing in front of their desk, tugging on my hair and muttering about all the injustices in my life. I was oblivious to everyone gathering around as I cursed my luck and pleaded with God to be there with Bella while I was stuck in Portland. For once… just once… can't I get the girl?

"You can stop the plane." I heard a man saying.

"That's right. I've seen them do it." A woman was agreeing with him. "In emergencies, they stop the plane and take the passenger in on the tarmac."

"It seems like an emergency."

My pacing stopped. I stared incredulously at the crowd that had gathered. Had I been speaking aloud? Did I look demented, or just in love? Either way, it was working for me. The crowd was on my side.

"Is it an emergency, sir?"

"Yes!" I exclaimed, half giddy. "It is an emergency."

One of the attendants picked up the phone and turned away to speak privately. I was either getting on that flight, or I would be held for questioning for God knew how long. I swear I could hear the ticks of the clock behind the desk, and it was digital. Seconds felt like hours.

"Sir? Come with me. They're allowing you to board. I don't know how I managed to convince the runway crew, but they're setting it up for you."

I released a sound of joy and shock. "Thank you!" I turned to my audience. "Thank you. Thank all of you. You have no idea how important this is."

They wished me luck as the staff member escorted me down a hallway and a set of stairs onto the tarmac where another crew member was waiting.

"I don't know what your emergency is," she said in parting, "but good luck to you."

"I'm going to get the girl this time," I quipped with a smile.

I was led onto the plane near the cockpit. As I peered in at the surprised passengers in first class, I could only imagine the looks I'd be getting as I made my way through to coach. I could only do this for Bella. She was merely two plane rides away, and she needed me. This was not the time to die on the spot, though I definitely would have under any other circumstance.

"Sir? Your seat is right here."

I looked at the flight attendant inquisitively.

"It's the only available seat."

I smiled in appreciation and stowed my bag as I uttered apologies to those around me in first class. They were already disinterested anyway. The flight attendant made sure I was belted in before she made her way back to her station to begin her take-off routine all over.

"You must be someone very important," the woman next to me commented in hushed tones. "You can tell me. I won't blab. You look familiar – what have I seen you in?"

"Pardon?" I glanced at her, completely confused.

"They tend to bring celebrities on before or after the other passengers to avoid a big fuss. So, who are you?"

I laughed louder than I should have, shaking my head. "I'm nobody. Trust me."

She made the short flight very enjoyable for me, making polite conversation that was simple enough to follow along with. In fact, she was so easy to converse with, I ended up telling her my mission. It helped pass the time, and we were landing in Utah before I knew it.

"You wouldn't happen to be catching the flight to Phoenix, would you? I could use the companionship," I commented with a sincere smile.

"Sorry. This is my stop. It seems odd to do introductions after that conversation, but I'm Stephenie. Meyer." She held her hand out to me.

Fuck. My first case of cold sweats was coming out over an expected handshake? As luck would have it – my luck, anyhow – I got nailed in the shoulder with a bag as a stout man tried to dislodge his briefcase from the overhead compartment. Stephenie reached for my shoulder, and I took the out, cupping her elbow rather than taking her hand.

"Edward Cullen. It's been a pleasure meeting you."

She nodded, returning my smile. "Don't you have another flight to catch?"

"I do, yeah. Thanks." I stumbled backwards towards the exit. "Thanks. Really." The flight attendant ushered me through the door, and my flight companion was gone.

"Edward!"

I turned back at the sound of her voice.

"Go get your girl! Don't let anything stop you!"

~ 0 ~

By the end of my third flight of the day, I'd had more than enough of air travel, airports, travellers, and intrusive security personnel. I took one look at the line for taxis and headed straight to the Budget booth. My rental was pulled up to the curb while my fellow passengers were still in the taxi line. It helped that I was the easiest person to please in terms of car rental. I honestly didn't care what I drove, as long as it got me to Kate's house – and Bella.

Not only did the rental have a GPS, but I actually used it. I didn't have time to waste on proving my manhood by using directional instinct. The GPS got me to the familiar street in twenty-two minutes. I sat out front for a moment to collect myself. If felt like only yesterday I'd sat across from these houses wondering if I'd made the biggest mistake of my life coming here. I knew it wasn't the case this time. This was where I needed to be.

Boldly, I walked up to Kate's door and rang the bell. It didn't dawn on me until it seemed to echo through the neighbourhood that it was late. I had no idea how late, all I knew was that it was dark. There were stars in the sky and very few houses with any lights on at all.

"Edward?" A sleepy voice asked as I stared at the sky in amazement. Stars looked different here. Maybe it was the lack of cloud cover. "It is you! Oh my goodness! I wasn't expecting you until tomorrow at the earliest – come in, come in!"

Kate tugged on my arm as I grinned at her. She hesitated only a moment before throwing her arms around me. I hadn't even considered what type of reaction I'd get from Bella's family, but now that I was here, I couldn't have asked for a better welcome.

"Sorry it's late. I woke you."

She waved her hand around and headed for the kitchen, snapping a light on. "I just crashed on the couch after Garrett left for work. It's not a big deal. I didn't really want to sleep in case Bella needed me. I never should have left her alone at the airport. I had this feeling that I should have waited there."

"How is she?" I asked with a sudden quiver in my voice.

Kate bit at the corner of her mouth, similar to Bella's habit. "She's… It wasn't good, Edward. She was so lost. So…" She shook her head trying to clear out the mental image. "I've never seen her so overwhelmed. She's better now. Calmer. Your friend came by earlier."

"Aro," I stated. I still had his pager number, and I made use of his service to leave a message pleading with him to tend to Bella. "Good. Did she talk to him?"

"She must have, yeah. He's been here for hours. He's still up there with her. He's by her side even when she's resting."

"She's asleep?"

"Not a restful one. She dozes off and on." The familiar voice came from behind me, and I turned to greet him. "Edward. It has been too long."

I felt my sinuses twitching, almost like I was about to… cry? "Aro. It has been. Too long." He hugged me as a father would. "Thank you for coming here for Bella."

"I'd do it again in a heartbeat," he replied with his slow, sedating voice. "Such turmoil in her life this past year. It's too much for anyone to endure without any repercussions at all, but there's strength in this young woman. Determination. And goodness. She'll come out of this – in time."

Okay, the twinge was a warning of tears. They were filling my eyes at an astonishing speed. Too quick to just blink away.

"In time, my boy," Aro repeated gently. "And with great support."

I nodded, allowing the overflow to spill out and blinked away the rest of the tears. "Will you be around… if we need you? Kate said you've been here all evening. I don't even want to know what that bill will be, but send it to me anyway."

Aro chuckled amicably. "This one's on me. I wouldn't dream of billing you. What I do ask is that you keep in touch? Let me know how things are going – if I can be of further assistance."

"Absolutely," I vowed. "I… You know I've always trusted you more than any others in your field."

"Smart boy, this one." That comment was directed at Kate, who had moved in by my side. "I should be going. Thank you for the delightful time, dear Kate. Your cake was lovely. As was the tea. I just wish we had met under more pleasant circumstances."

They hugged like old friends as I kicked at the doorframe. It was great to see Kate, and Aro, but I was here to see Bella. There was nothing I wanted more than to run up the stairs and take her in my arms.

"Edward, do keep in touch. And take care of that young lady up there. She's a treasure."

This was my cue. "Which room is she in?"

"Left at the top," Kate informed me. "Go on. I know you're anxious."

"And Edward," Aro stopped me as I moved towards the stairs. "If you don't ask that girl to marry you, I'll do it myself."

I squinted at him, trying to determine if he recalled my feelings for Bella from our own sessions a decade earlier, or if he was going by his conversations with Bella. It was like him to throw out remarks in jest, but I doubted this was one of those.

"True love? When it's right, it's just right," he whispered near my ear.

So he remembered.

Upstairs, I stood in the doorway of Bella's room. Seeing her curled up in a ball on the bed made her look so small and vulnerable. Childlike. Suddenly I felt ridiculous thinking that I knew how she felt in the airport. Of course I had no idea. Anxiety could be crippling, and my own was severe, but I had no way of knowing how Bella felt. She had lived through one hell of a trauma – injuries, losses, drastic life decisions requiring immediate action. I had no idea how that would feel. Her fears were real whereas mine were, for the most part, imagined. All I knew was that Bella had eased some of my anxieties when I was at my worst, and I would be her rock now. If she'd let me.

A deep sigh broke the silence of the room, followed by whimpers. It broke my heart to watch her cry even in her sleep. I took a step forward, feeling the need to be physically closer to her. The floorboard beneath my foot creaked loudly, causing Bella to shoot up in bed.

She stared at me in the dark, sleepy confusion mixing with the shadows of the room. The faint light from the hallway illuminated the watery eyes locked on me. Her bottom lip trembled, and I didn't need an invitation to go to her. She collapsed against me as I sat on the bed, her arms gripping my waist, tugging at my shirt as she wept against my chest. I held her for what seemed like hours, whispering soothing words, stroking her hair, placing tender kisses along her hairline. Eventually, she cried herself out, and I continued my routine even while she slept. I had never seen Bella so utterly wrecked. And I'd never felt more love for her than the moment she grasped onto me like I was her lifeline. It made me feel wanted. Needed. And most importantly, equal. For the first time, I considered the possibility that Bella actually reciprocated my feelings. In that moment, I felt we could get through anything together.

~ 0 ~

I smiled at Bella as she gazed at me through sleepy eyes.

"Is this real? Are you actually here?"

Humming in acknowledgement, I kissed her forehead. "I'm here. And I think a… I dunno, what lives in the desert? Some kind of dry, desert animal has died in my mouth. I haven't brushed my teeth in a day."

Jolted, Bella pulled herself away from me and sat up straight. "What time is it? What day is it? When did you get here? How long did I sleep?"

"Only a few hours, really." I took the opportunity to stretch out the kink in my back before I added softly, "You cried longer than you slept."

Her eyes squeezed shut tightly as it came back to her. "I'm sorry."

I moved closer, giving my legs a good stretching as well, and pulled her against me. "Don't be," I whispered.

"Be honest. Not the best greeting you've ever received."

"I hate it – seeing you cry. I feel so helpless," I confessed. "But I wouldn't be anywhere else."

She offered me a sad, heart-breaking smile. "Honestly?"

"Honestly," I agreed with a smirk. "Except maybe the bathroom. Sorry, Bella, but I really have to excuse myself for a minute." My bladder had alerted me to the fact that drinks are served more freely in first class, and I hadn't relieved myself since the flight. It was even more pressing than the need to scrape the fur off my tongue.

One look at her panic-stricken face, and I stomped on my bladder. "Forget it. It can wait. I'm not going anywhere."

I watched her struggle with her emotions as her face displayed signs of fear and panic, embarrassment and doubt. Her hands gripped the bed sheet, twisting it into knots. "This is ridiculous," she said shakily. "I'm preventing you from taking a piss." A sob got choked off as she buried her face in her hands. "I can't stand to be away from you long enough to piss."

Just the mention of the word – twice – tweaked my bladder. I stood abruptly and held out my hand. "Come with me."

"To the bathroom?"

I nodded as her eyes went from mine, down to my extended hand. A small smile erupted, and she grabbed onto it with both of hers, placing a kiss in my palm before she released it. It was a sensation I'd never experienced before. I didn't know if this is what I'd been missing out on my entire life with my fear of having my hands touched, or if it was because Bella was the only woman I felt comfortable enough with to allow her to touch them, but it sent a tingling current flowing through my body. It felt more intimate than anything I'd ever experienced. If I'd happened to be a man who wore my emotions on my sleeve, I would've joined her in tears. Instead, I lifted her off the bed and set her down gently before taking her hand in mine.

She bent over the sink, brushing her teeth while I took care of business, and then we switched. Not even using her toothbrush seemed odd. It felt right in my mouth, just like her hand felt right in mine.

"If we were home, Don Everly would be right there." I pointed to the spot on the floor in between the toilet and the sink.

"Don Everly!" Bella gasped. "Where…?"

I spit out my final rinse. "He's okay. It's fine. Rosalie took Nathan over when I left. They'll stay with him until we get back. He'll love having Emmett around longer anyway." I thought about how that would make me feel if I were in Bella's shoes. "He misses you terribly."

Her face scrunched up as though she was going to explode into tears again. I'm fairly certain she had dried herself out though. "He thinks I've deserted him," she whispered in anguish.

"No… honey, no." That was the wrong thing to say. "You're everywhere in our apartment. In our home. He finds the spots that hold the most of the Bella essence, and he camps out there. I've joined him a few times," I admitted with a grin. In all honesty, if Bella didn't come back with me, I wouldn't be able to live there any longer. It was already 'our home'. Without Bella, it was nothing.

Quelling my old instincts to assume the worst, I focused on the here and now. "Do you feel up to going out for a bit? Taking a walk? Some breakfast maybe?"

She pushed me over to glance at her reflection in the mirror. "I'm a mess. You want to be seen with me like this?"

I took a spot behind her, smiling hugely as I wrapped my arms around her waist. "I would take my girl anywhere, anytime – proudly." I smiled even wider when her cheeks flushed a deep pink. "Come on. Show me around town."

~ 0 ~

Bella needed some time to 'take care of business' for Nathan, so I took the opportunity to soak up some morning sun. Garrett brought out two steaming mugs of coffee and joined me. We talked weather and entertainment, sports and politics. If someone were passing by, they'd never know we were dancing around a touchy subject. Neither of us felt the need to come out and say that Bella was in the middle of a breakdown. Since neither of us had a solution for her, there was no need to discuss it.

Garrett stood when Bella appeared at the door. He set his mug down and wrapped her in a hug, whispering into her ear as she returned the embrace. She looked almost childlike in her cut-offs and Vans, standing on her toes. She responded to him only with a nod and remained silent as she led me away from the house.

"You haven't mentioned my hair," she commented casually when we'd walked for a block in silence.

"You cut it." Non-commitment was the best way to go, I decided. Of course I'd noticed. She had it swept back into a ponytail, but it didn't disguise the fact that it was much shorter.

"For Tanya," she disclosed. "Kate thought it might upset Tanya if she saw me with the scar and everything." She shrugged as we strolled along. "It's weird... I hardly noticed it anymore. You were always so oblivious to my bald spot."

"It's growing in nicely," I retorted with a chuckle.

"Still, it put Kate in tears, seeing me that way. I didn't think twice about going as I was because I was going to family, you know?"

I nodded my understanding. "I'm sure Kate was just overwrought with emotion. She was worried about you. It probably hit her hard seeing you. Almost like the months in between hadn't happened."

"Still...it was strange for me. It made me realize that you, and Rose and Emmett, and Esme and Carlisle reacted more like family. Even Jasper and Alice were cool about it. Dad didn't even freak out over that."

"It was a shock for her," I commented gently. "We didn't see scars or bald spots because we were too busy looking at your eyes. They were a little puffier than they are this morning, but not much. Still beautiful."

Bella bumped her hip against mine, her cheeks flushing once more. "Such an Edward thing to say."

"It's true." I would have placed money on the fact that my cheeks matched hers. I couldn't recall the last time someone had made me blush. "It's also true that we all think of you as family, Bella. We always have."

"But strange that I'm more comfortable with my pseudo family than my real one at a time like this, no? It's crazy how much I missed you."

"Likewise." I gave her a nudge with my hip to see if she her cheeks flood with colour again. They did.

"It's not that Kate and Garrett haven't been great – they've been awesome. Really. It just made me think."

Somewhere, deep inside, that old doubt was niggling around. She's not coming back...

I stomped on it, as I had my urge to pee earlier. I was not leaving Bella alone in Phoenix. Not this time.

"So much has changed since I've been gone. I had brain surgery! It didn't really hit me until I saw their reactions. Fucking brain surgery. And dialysis. I've had a baby for Christ's sake." She shook her head. "So much has changed. I'm living with you. Do you realize that? It just sort of happened, and now I'm like... I'm living with Edward!"

"You put living with me on the same traumatic category as the rest of it? Wow. You know how to stroke a guy's ego." I kept my tone light, even though it was crushing me to know that.

"No! Oh my god... that came out so horribly. I just meant that everything has changed. I've changed."

I stayed silent for a moment, unsure if she was done speaking. When I couldn't take it any longer, I asked, "Is that a bad thing?"

She stared at the ground as we walked, seemingly avoiding my inquiry. "Dunno," she finally remarked. "You haven't seen the full mess of my hair yet. This is a good place for breakfast. I'm starving. Want to eat here?"

Avoidance 101. I made a mental note to put Aro's number on speed dial.

After breakfast, we toured Bella's old stomping ground. She showed me the tree she'd fallen from after spending a summer mastering her climbing skills. We peered in the windows of her primary school, marveling over how tiny the chairs and desks looked. We made a complete circle and passed by the park we'd taken Tanya to the other time I was here.

"This place kind of changed my life," Bella said in a soft, reflective voice.

"How so? First kiss?"

"Pfft! Please. That was states away from here. I always felt like you were the best friend I'd ever had, but this is where I realized that I'd lose you."

My head was spinning. So much information coming at me. Jasper wasn't only her first boyfriend, he gave Bella her first kiss. And somehow I'd managed to make her think that I wouldn't always be around for her. What had I done that day in the park?

"Why did you think that?" I asked quietly.

"You'd changed. Inside, you were still my Edward, but otherwise..." She glanced at me and smiled sadly. "You got fit. And healthy. And confident. There was no way some girl wasn't going to snatch you up and naturally become an insanely jealous witch every time you called me, or I sent you an essay-sized email."

"I wouldn't have let anyone come between us, Bella."

"It wasn't fair to put you in a position to ever have to deal with that. I never wanted to cause you trouble or hold you back from what you should have."

Briefly, I wondered if she could hear my heart thundering in my chest. I did my best to ignore it and maintain my well-practiced state of calmness in stressful situations. "Bella, listen to me – I really want you to hear me and understand." She leaned against the stairs of the slide, and I moved to stand in front of her. "I'm the only one who can hold myself back. I have changed, you're right. I'm no longer willing to let what I want slip away because I'm afraid to take a chance. I no longer feel like the world is watching me, just waiting for me to fuck up so they can laugh at me. Even if they were, I wouldn't care. The fact is I allowed myself to be ridiculed. To be unimportant."

"You were never unimportant." Bella grabbed onto the front of my shirt, shaking her head emphatically.

"Shhh, just let me finish. Please." I placed my hands on her waist, keeping her close. "I feel like all that I went through was essential for where I am now. I had to be there, to get to here. I learned the value of family and true friends. I know the cost of not taking chances; the difference between having what I want and settling. I don't want to settle anymore. You're trembling – are you okay?"

"I have to ask you something." Even her voice was unsteady. "Aro suggested I just ask you."

"Aro's all about the bluntness. Go ahead."

"Is this… do you feel … God, this is the most self-important notion –"

"Blunt, Bella. Just be blunt."

Her fingers tightened on my shirt as she gazed at me worriedly. "Do you feel obligated to… take care of things for me? To make up for… for what Ja –"

"No," I vowed firmly. "I don't mean to cut you off, but no. Just… no."

"This isn't about the way things ended back then?"

"No. I never wanted to see you hurt, but I can't change what happened. I'm not my brother's keeper."

"So this is…"

"What I want," I affirmed. "I'm exactly where I want to be."

"I feel selfish."

"Be selfish." I bent my knees to be eye level with her. "Bella, for once in your life, be selfish."

"I want to go home," she whispered. "No. There's something I want to do first. I can't go back in time, but I want to fix what I was too scared to do before." Releasing my shirt, her hands came up to my face, pulling me in to meet her mouth. Her kiss was tender, yet needy. Full of remorse, but also promise.

"You wanted blunt?" She wore a coy smile when we parted.

My tongue trailed over my bottom lip, still tasting Bella. "I like your blunt."

"I like the way you kiss. And your bottom lip drives me wild. I want to chew on it… suck it…"

My eyes widened in shock. I really liked blunt Bella. "I'm about to get very inappropriate for our location."

"I want to see your inappropriate." Her mouth claimed mine once more with a desperate moan. "Show me."

I made a quick survey of the area to ensure there were no children in sight. Satisfied that I wouldn't traumatize any youngsters, I lifted Bella up onto one of the stairs to the slide. Her eyes were locked on mine as she gripped my shoulders and wrapped her legs around my waist, locking her ankles behind me. I had no idea what she expected from doing that, but the look on her face matched my feelings on the very intimate contact. Her eyelids fluttered, then closed, and I don't know who moaned first. My mind flooded with images of sweat dripping between her breasts as I delved into her in this position. The rational part of me reminded me that I'd have to be gentle with her when we actually got down to it, but it was a fantasy after all. Frantic thrusting was completely viable in a fantasy.

In reality, I dipped my head and placed a tender kiss on the exposed flesh near the swoop of her v-neck. She shuddered and used her legs to press me more firmly against her. Jesus. Six weeks. Was that six week postpartum rule firm or flexible? How close were we to six weeks anyway? I licked, nibbled, and kissed my way up to her mouth that eagerly awaited me. She certainly seemed anxious to pursue the physical side of our relationship, but was she really ready for that? As a wave of dizziness washed over me, I wondered if I was even ready for that.

"Bella," I murmured, easing off on our kiss. "I think I might pass out." Passing out would be the better of the two things my body was giving warning signs of. At any age, in any stage of the relationship, breaking up an intimate encounter like this to vomit was never complimentary.

"It's the heat. You're not used to this."

At least she didn't take it personally, and she was right, of course. The vertigo subsided with a cool shower back at the house. Standing under the water stream, I realized that I wasn't entirely following through with my intentions. I had come here to take care of Bella – to prove to her that I could be everything she needed me to be. Aside from holding her through the night of tears, I hadn't done a thing for her. Instead, I had groped her in the park and ended up having her tend to me. The more I thought of our time together during the day, the more I saw that something was very off. She was trying too hard. She was burying her pain again.

A twinge of doubt played at my mind when I thought of how she'd opened up to Aro, obviously, but didn't feel comfortable doing the same with me. Then again, I'd played the same game all those years ago, using Aro as my sounding board. He'd allowed me to come to terms with my own inadequacies, and for that I was forever grateful, but he hadn't been able to convince me to let anyone else in. I determined that if I expected Bella to lean on me completely and pour her heart out, she was the one person who deserved the same from me. The only problem was the timing; she had more than enough on her plate at the moment. I'd have to be patient and let her lead.

I was pulling my jeans on in the bathroom when I heard the sounds of her sobbing. I rushed from the bathroom, barefooted and shirtless, and tapped on her door.

"Bella, honey, I'm coming in," I called out in warning. I felt if I asked permission, she may shut down. I found her slumped over in a chair, her face buried in her hands. I knelt in front of her, stroking her hair. Her hands left her face to reach for me. I was more than willing to just hold her again, but felt she really needed to get it out. "Honey, what's wrong? Can you talk to me?" I probed gently.

"I can't do it," she wept as I eased out of her grip. "There's nothing. I've come all this way only to fail at the end. I just can't do it."

"Do what, Bella? What is it? Can I help?"

She let out a sardonic snort, rolling her eyes and wiping at her nose at the same time. "Have you got mammary glands, Edward? If so, please speak up, because I'm dry." She waved her hands at her chest. She'd changed into a loose shirt, and it was hanging open. The breast pump hummed away beside her on the table. The bottle attached to it had just a few drops gathered.

"Maybe you need some fluids. It's really hot here. Have you been drinking enough?" Another snort made me feel completely useless with this, but she was only pointing out the obvious. I was out of my element. "You should rest. Try again in a little while," I suggested softly.

She shoved the chair back, away from me, and stood. "It's pointless. I'm completely fucking dry." Pacing the length of the room, she began angrily brushing at her tears that seemed to have no end. "I had nothing this morning either. I've gotten off schedule. And now Nathan will suffer for it. First I take off on them, and now I'm completely letting him down."

I remained silent while she ranted. I had no clue how to resolve this problem, and it was probably best for me not to try.

"Some mother I would have been, right?" she exclaimed. "I can't even do the thing my body is designed for. Life is so unfair! Rosalie was made to be a mother, but she can't have babies. I can pop one out, but can't take care of him. What kind of world is this? That's so fucked up!"

Her sudden anger shocked me a bit, but I tried not to show it. "I think you would have been just fine if you didn't have an alternative," I remarked. "You're adaptable. You would have found a way to take care of him, just like Rosalie and Emmett will. He'll be fine, Bella."

"You're saying I should have kept him? Adapted, and kept him?"

"No!" I shook my head aggressively to emphasize that wasn't at all what I was saying.

"Did I let you down, too?"

I hesitated, stupidly.

"Be honest with me," she demanded. "What are you thinking about right now?"

"I've never seen you so angry. You're scaring me a little," I admitted. "Also, I've never seen your breasts before, and I'm trying really hard not to stare at the left one. It's out." I scowled at my own lack of tact. Sure, her perfect breast was exposed during her tirade, and I'd had one hell of a time trying to focus on anything other than the bared flesh. The worst part of the entire ordeal was confessing to that.

Her skin was flushed with anger and now embarrassment on top of it. She tugged at her shirt, drawing it over her breasts before crossing her arms to keep it in place. "Sorry about that," she mumbled.

I rushed over to her, thinking I may need to just shut the fuck up and hold her. It was the only thing I seemed to be effective with. "I shouldn't have said that. I don't know why I did."

"I'm glad you did." Bella peered up at me through her wet lashes. "Now I believe that you aren't upset with me for giving up Nathan. You wouldn't be talking about my boobs if you were thinking of Nathan."

I smirked at her. "You overestimate me. Flash me a boob and I'm not thinking of anything but."

"Flash me that crooked smile and I'm –" Bella dropped her head, pressing it against my bare chest as she gripped the waistband of my jeans. "Edward…"

"What were you going to say just now? Will you tell me?" I pleaded softly.

"I'm yours," she whispered. Her body shook with fresh sobs as wrapped my arms around her. She held onto me for dear life, pressing soft kisses on my chest even while she wept. "I want to get out of here, Edward. I feel like I'm going crazy. Take me home? Will you take me home? Please?"

"I'll take you wherever you want to go, Bella."

"Home. To Don Everly. In the morning?"

"We can go right now if you want."

She pulled back enough to look up at me, then tugged my head down to meet her lips. The kiss was salty from her tears. As much as every kiss from my girl thrilled me, I wanted nothing more than to make her tears disappear for good. I knew this would hardly be the last salty kiss, however. We still had a long road ahead of us.

A/N ~ My usual love and appreciation for all of you reading along with me, and to Shug and msj, my fix-up and support team. I'd also like to thank Edward'sDreamCatcher for rec'ing my story. I'm terribly behind in reading, but if anyone's up to a new WIP, please check her story out. XX ~ SR