12/8/86

I pretty much recovered from the operation within five months. I haven't seen Clarisse for a whole year because the last time I set foot in the palace was over a year ago. I collected my things and said a quick goodbye to her (a peck on the cheek). She wished me luck, what kind of luck I don't know. I had to stay in a wheelchair for a few weeks, then I was allowed to use crutches, then I had a cane and now I'm fine. It feels like nothing had ever happened with the exception that I can no longer kneel without causing serious pain.

Things that have happened this year:

Clarisse apparently moved out of her husband's suite and now has her own – handy?

She then went through menopause and locked herself away for three days.

The king got sick and then got better again.

Sammy lost a few teeth and started calling me dad and Lauren mum.

I spent a few weeks sitting on the sofa watching Monkee's re-runs because of my knee.

Lauren had her baby, it was another boy – Blake, my choice of name – and it turns out that Jonah is the father. We know this because the child came out with dark skin and the only man Lauren slept with who had dark skin was him. Blake is cute; he has these huge brown eyes and a small Afro.

A few months ago, I decided to propose to Lauren for fear that I might die alone, and she accepted. We married last month, but made up our own vowels so they had nothing to do with the words love or obey. It's not so bad being married to her because she seems to have matured up a little and doesn't sleep with every man she sees anymore.

In our marriage there is just one main rule: if one of us chooses to sleep with someone else, it gives the other rights to do the same.

It's a good rule because I often spot beautiful women sitting alone at the bar.

Philippe returned home a month after his daughter was born and reportedly avoided his mother for weeks. From what I've heard, he spent a lot of time crying – a lot of time.

That's pretty much all that happened in the past year.

15/8/86

Today Sammy turned 11; we bought him a bicycle, new shoes and a new journal (as he said he filled the old one). That reminds me, note to self: buy new journal.

We went on a family outing to the amusement park, but left Blake with Lauren's mother, as amusement parks are too loud for newborns. Sammy couldn't wait to go on the roller coaster and while we were on it, Lauren couldn't wait to get off. It was funny watching her face turn green, until she vomited that is. Because of the intense speed and the fact that we were sitting at the front, all of the people behind us copped the spray of carrots and peas that came out of her mouth. It was disgusting, yet highly amusing. She had to apologise to everyone once we got off, they were pretty angry.

After that we got her a bottle of lemonade and she started to feel better. Sammy insisted on getting a large bucket of fairy floss and since it was his birthday and since I'm such a good dad, I bought one for him. This caused him to get sick as well. We decided to call it a day and now I have the pleasure of looking after two sick people and a screaming baby.

All and all it was a fun day.

30/8/86

I received a letter from the palace early this morning, this is what it said:

'Dear Mr. Alexander,

The time has come for you to return to the palace and take your former place as deputy head of security. If you do not wish to accept the position, please inform us within 24 hours of receiving this letter.

Yours truly,

His Majesty Rupert Renaldi, King of Genovia.'

I must have spent at least ten minutes staring at the piece of paper before I scrunched it up and threw it on the floor.

I have my reserves about going back, if I don't I'll never see Clarisse again, but if I do, I'll be down to spending one day a week with my family. I think that if I did go back, Clarisse would probably toy with my emotions again, which would probably make me fully rekindle my love for her. I've had so much fun this year since I haven't been near her every day and I've grown accustomed to it. My son and I are the best of friends and I don't think I could cope only seeing him on weekends.

Either way it's going to be a difficult decision, I've already been up all night thinking about it. I've read the letter about fifty times now and my eyes are beginning to feel sore. Perhaps if I slept on it I'd have a better chance of coming to a decision.

31/8/86

I watched my son eat his breakfast this morning, staring at his features, the way he eats is so precious. I don't think I could bare waking up in the morning and not seeing him seated at the table with a bowl of cornflakes, searching for the mystery toy which supposedly comes in every box. I decided to ask him to shed some light on my situation.

"Sammy."

"Yes daddy?"

"How would you feel if you only saw me on weekends?"

"Are you and mum fighting?"

"No, it's just…"

"What? You can tell me. Are you in love with another woman?"

I smiled at how right he was, he was always right because he knows that all of my problems revolve around women, "It's not really…I mean…yes, that's exactly what it is."

"Oh…" He looked into his empty bowl.

"But it's a woman I can never have."

"Really? Why? Is she the queen or something?"

I looked at him wondering if he knew, but he seemed to have just said that as a joke, "Umm…she's just locked in a marriage and won't leave it."

"Who is she?"

"Her name is Clar…issa. Clarissa."

"Do you love her more than you love mum?"

"I told you I don't love your mother that way."

"Then why did you marry her?"

Good question.

"Can we get back to the matter at hand?"

He nodded and took his bowl to the sink, "Okay."

"So…how would you feel?"

He shook his shoulders, "I don't know, sad."

"That's what I thought."

"But if I would get to see you on weekends, I suppose it might be okay."

I got the feeling he wasn't being entirely honest about his feelings, much like his father.

"Alright, off to school with you, get your lunch and wait for me in the car."

He did as I said and I walked into the bedroom take a long look at…my wife. She was sleeping on the edge of the bed because Blake had taken up most of her side. I kissed them, then scooped the keys off the bedside table and walked out to the car. Sammy was in the driver's seat, which meant he wanted to drive the car out of the driveway, so I let him. He's a pretty good driver for his age, but it's not yet legal for him to drive on the road, so I took over. I dropped him off at school and kissed his forehead. He grabbed his bag and ran off to meet his friends.

I decided to go for a drive. I drove along the main road, down the countryside, past the palace…no I didn't. I stopped outside the palace. I figured a walk around might help me in my decision, I was wrong. I walked up to the gate and noticed Clarisse sitting on a bench sipping a drink, I hardly recognised her. She had cut off her beautiful, long, golden locks and all that was left was a neat little pile of hair on top of her head. She's still the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, but she just looks so different. I pondered walking up to her, but decided against it and ran back to the car. I hopped in and stared at her some more, she looked bored.

After that I went about my daily activities and then went back to Sammy's school to pick him up. I had to attend a parent/principal conference because apparently he had gotten into a fight with one of the boys there and was going to be suspended. I managed to talk the man out of suspending him and Sammy walked off scot-free.

On the way home he didn't speak to me, I think he was afraid I would yell at him or something. I decided to speak up, "So he tripped you over and you knocked him out?"

He didn't say anything. I looked at his pouting face and directed my eyes back to the road, "If it's any consolation, I would have, too."

He turned to me and smiled. I put an arm around his shoulder, then retracted it so I could turn into the driveway. I stopped the car and held his arm, "Have you been thinking about us?"

And he said, "About you leaving? No."

I sighed, "Really?"

He threw his arms around me and cried, "I don't want you to go, dad."

"I thought so."

I told Lauren about the job and she said that the decision to accept or not accept is entirely up to me…she said she would miss me if I chose to go. She kissed my cheek and faked a smile.

I'm still pondering about what to do. I should have given them an answer already, but it's just too difficult. I'm expecting them to phone me up and I'm not going to know what to say because I can't just make an on-the-spot decision, these things take time. I'm torn between two people I love, one who returns my love and one who I can never be with, but can't stand to be without.

I can hear the phone ringing, Lauren's answering it…it's for me...

Anyone else notice I forgot to put a date on my last chapter? Well the date for it can be the 1/8/85.

Also, if you don't know what fairy floss is, I think it's what Americans call candy floss or candy corn or something (not sure).

Who thinks Joseph will go back to the palace? I've already decided the outcome of the decision and I want to start writing the next chapter now, but I have homework to do...

Review please and thanks.