アタシは女子校に学生じゃねってばね！ – I'm Not a Student at an All-Girls' School!–
Episode 25: BIG SURPRISE! The Fantastic Return of the Super Pervert!「大きな驚き!どスケベの素敵な返付!」
"Kushiyose: Edo Tensei!"
The first thing he remembers was being plunged into the ocean as he breathed his last. The heartbreaking he had to endure as his previous student – who he thought dead, mind you – wordlessly, shamelessly, ruthlessly, with no feeling whatsoever, murdered him.
He calmly remembers his last thoughts, remembering clearly as he places his pen down to rest once again before picking it up for his soon-to-be released sequel. Hmm, what was the name he decided again?
Ahh, yes.
"Uzumaki Naruto Monogatari"「うずまきナルト物語」
Perfect.
Just perfect.
…
Ah, wait. How is he thinking? Isn't he dead? Hold up, what happens after death? Do they go to some kind of purgatory, waiting up in line to be reincarnated? Or do they get sent to the down below, where they would have to deal with that hideous king of hell guy? Or perhaps do they go up to some form of heaven to pleasure themselves in those heavenly mounds?
Personally, he's hoping for the latter.
Grumbling to himself as his senses returned, he could clearly hear the countless voices streaming around him. Being one with nature, he could also feel the person (a girl, he deducted) standing in front of him with a smug look on her face.
He wanted to open his eyes, really, he did.
How sexy is she? What're her three sizes? Does she have those beautiful mounds? How sleek is her skin? What color are her eyes? Ooooh, he can't wait to see for himself! Though, none would compare to Tsunade, for sure. Nuh-uh.
Dammit, he really wants to open his eyes!
"Welcome back to the land of the living…"
Land of the living? Does that mean that he's been revived somehow? Kind of odd when he's supposed to be at the bottom of the seas with the fishes.
"… Grandfather was right. You are tall."
How rude! He is not tall, mind you! He's just had too much milk as a child back in the day! Eheh… eheheheheh, "too much milk", eheheheheh… Regardless! That does not mean he's tall though! Talk about rude manners!
Although, he did wondered who this "grandfather" was…
Opening his gray eyes, his vision was filled with the back alleyways as a smirking redhead looked at him. Wearing what looked like a uniform for girls going to school, the man wondered where he was. Looking behind him, he saw a coffin disappearing into the depths of the earth. Turning back at the girl who was tapping him on the head, she whipped up a kunai with a seal tag tied to it, she allowed it to disappear into his head.
Suddenly, everything cleared.
"This… this technique…" He rasped.
"Yup yup. It's a technique that's been labeled as a Kinjutsu by Nidaime Hokage-sama. Granted, I'm only using for these three weeks. And that special tag I used to give back your personality is meant for those to temporarily give back their sanity. Not completed yet, like Grandfather's, but it's up to its par. I'd say, about three weeks' worth before it expires," The girl clarified for him. All was silent as the man's knowledge was once again refilling itself, his bizarre personality coming back to him.
"Well girl, I don't know who you are, but surely you must be in awe for being in the presence of one such as I!"
The girl giggles. "Yup, just like Grandfather said. So full of yourself, and yet, still maintaining that humble appearance.
"Then your grandfather must have been a great man!"
The girl smiled melancholy. "Yes. Yes he was."
That was over a week ago.
"B-but…" Ako began when Akira patted her on the back.
"Don't worry. You'll be fine," The swimmer girl encouraged Ako to do the gig with the three cheerleaders. Akira giggled as Ako moaned and groaned.
It has been a few hours since their shift at their class. Akira took part as one of the girls to introduce the customers as well as becoming a beheaded head while Ako masqueraded as a dead corpse with a grass cutting scythe stabbed into her forehead. Not really an important role, but a closer look at the girl showed that she was actually nervous about having a scythe stuck on her forehead.
Thankfully, that was only a mannequin developed by Hakase specifically for that situation. The girl nurse-in-training never wants a sharpened blade stuck on her forehead!
The two girls had just ordered a corndog for the both of them when a customer suddenly bumped into Ako, forcing her to drop her delicious sausage in corn bread. Akira, being the defensive girl she was, immediately stood up for her friend.
"Hey, please watch where you're going!"
"A-akira! D-don't worry, it was my fault-…!"
"No no, that was mine! Sorry 'bout that! Didn't see you there, tebayo!"
… Wait… "-tebayo"…?
The two girls slowly looked up from their position to pick up the corndog pieces to see a spiky blonde young man picking up the pieces as well. Wearing what appeared to be the male's version of their school uniform, the boy had sparking blue eyes, tanned skin, and a very familiar set of whisker-like markings on both cheeks. All in all, it greatly reminded them of their recently new classmate.
The blonde blinked, having noticed them staring. Scratching his whiskered cheek, he chuckled awkwardly, "Uhh… is there something on my face?"
Dang it, even their introductions were the same!
"You… wouldn't be Uzumaki Naruto-san, would you?" Akira hesitantly asked as the blonde looked at her in confusion before something clicked.
"Ah, you two're… Ako-san and Akira-san, right?" The blonde grinned, now confirming that he was their classmate's rumored older brother. "Like Akira-san said, the name's Naruto, Naruko's older bro, dattebayo!"
"What a cute catchphrase…"
"He has a catchphrase…?"
Ako and Akira both thought respectively, commenting on Naruto's rather unique catchphrase. They both watched as Naruto frowned at the ruined corndog.
"Aww sucks, it's ruined…" The boy brightened with a grin that forced Ako's heart to nearly skip a beat. "Don't worry, I'll get you a new one, dattebayo!"
"Are you sure? You don't have to, I can…" Akira trailed off as Naruto waved a hand in a negative fashion.
"Nah, I'll do it. It was my fault anyway…"
"N-no! It was my fault for not paying attention!" Ako tried to apologize instead.
The routine continued until Akira decided to but in, now deciding that the two were rather apologetic to one another. "How about we all decide that you're both partly at fault with this and get on with getting Ako a new corndog?"
The two blinked, now realizing that they have been having the same train of thought for the past half a second. Naruto grinned, "Alright, I can agree with that, dattebayo. How 'bout you, Ako-san?"
"Hweh? O-oh, I'm fine with it…"
"Right! Now on we go to get Ako-san some new corndogs and some other things!"
"D-d-don't just fanfare what we're doing, Uzumaki-san!"
"No need to call me by my last name, not that big on honorifics and stuff."
"And yet you call Ako with the –san honorific?"
Naruto paused, looking at Akira as if she grew another head. Needless to say, it bothered the young swimmer as Naruto blinked. "Ah. Good point, tebayo… ahahaha…"
"I'm not sure, but could he be having problems with making decisions?" Akira thought to herself, as it was rather odd to find something who didn't like honorifics, and yet, still added some form of honorifics to someone else's name, no matter how high on the honorific chart it was. Ako, on the other hand, found it rather difficult to call Naruto by his given name, not wanting anyone to misunderstand their recently made relationship.
Standing in line, the three teenagers took the time to get to know each other. Naruto found out that despite her young age, Akira has already been sought out by many universities and colleges to gain her high rising abilities while Ako, despite being the shy girl she was, aimed to become a really good nurse. In short, the uniquely colored hair girl was like Sakura, only less brash and less violent.
On the other hand, the girls found out that Naruto had been traveling recently with his Godfather before his untimely death. At that time, Naruko has been staying with a grandfather figure back when they were children. They also figured out that Naruto was socially awkward, especially when he accidentally knocked over a few advertising stands and food condiments as he tried to apologize for them. There was even one incident where he broke a student's pottery.
Who knew that such an outgoing person like Naruto was such a klutz?
(Later...)
It has been quite a while since Naruto left the two-person group as Ako and Akira set off to meet their friends and get back to their posts in either their class' gimmick or their clubs' gimmicks. A roar of laughter and cheering caught their attention as the two athletes looked at the ever-so-growing crowd.
Walking up to said crowd, the sound of the traditional kabuki hit their ears as the children began screaming in laughter and joys. Around the apparent stage was a set of odd people cleaning up the stage or putting costumes away as the center man continued the show. Hopping on one leg, the old man – Ako and Akira assumed he was old, since he had white hair – danced and began announcing the story.
"And so! With a strike of my arts and arms, the great snake controlled by the mighty villain, Orochimaru, fell and the Great Town of Wandering Whispers was once again saved by I, the Gallant Jiraiya!"
The crowd cheered as the man portraying as the famous character Jiraiya stood with the rest of the cast and bowed. Many children ran up to the protagonist to gain an autograph while many others went to, in a sense, "fight" with the antagonist.
"I didn't know there was a kabuki for the Jiraiya story here…" Akira mumbled as Ako nodded, the two dropping a few cash into the bin. As they walked off, they never noticed the Jiraiya character looking at them with a slight smirk on his face.
Meanwhile, Naruto had just met with another group of two girls, Takane Goodman and Mei Sakura, as he wandered around, saving folks from confessing under the great World Tree. The group of three would work together for some time before it was time for the blonde to leave. Exactly what they did together would be shrouded in secret.
For now.
Ninjutsu Encyclopedia:
1 - Summoning: Impure World Reincarnation「口寄せ：穢土転生」: A forbidden technique created by the Second Hokage, Tobirama Senju, and improved by one of the Daisannin, Orochimaru. A horrifying technique in which the user reincarnates a once deceased person using a living person as a sacrifice and a vessel; forcing the deceased into a contract with the user, thus keeping the deceased once again, among the living. The sole purpose of this technique, besides shaking up the enemies' psych, is mass destruction. Despite being small in size, if used with a particularly strong individuals, each summon may be as strong, if not stronger, than an atomic bomb. Even then, another purpose of the Impure World Reincarnation technique is to, in a sense, to live as long as they have to, as long as they can complete their summoner's bidding. Research of such a technique has been halted by the Second Hokage. However, reports show that Orochimaru has rediscovered this technique. Further reports show that Yakushi Kabuto, Orochimaru's former right-hand man, has also acquired this technique. Just how far Kabuto has went to perfect this technique required further research.
(A/N)
Alright!
Had a busy two-week this month, but now I'm back, baby! Got a ton of chapters that I'm gonna upload for this story as well as The Progenitor, so get ready to rock out!
I gave several hints in the beginning of the chapter about who the redheaded girl was (hint:EP10:hint).
By the way, the previous chapter's contest I laid out (which I'm a bit depressed that no one participated in...), the references were as follows:
1 - Kuroko no Basuke (Chapter title + Yūna's Lil' Sis)
2 - To Aru no Majutsu Index (Threesome that Naruto saves)
3 - UQ Holder (Naruto's Mahora Uniform Boy Version)
4 - Red vs Blue (Naruto's conversation with random character)
5 - Never say no to Panda Panda Cheese commercials (Tenten's nickname)
5 - Kämpfer (Naruto mentioning his gender counterpart without disclosing that he's the same person during a conversation)
Anyway, what Naruto did with Mei and Takane will be disclosed... soon... maybe... just not now.
Toodles!