A/N: Thanks to everyone for all the reviews. I never really look at the counts until somone points them out. You're all so consistent too! Thanks for the loyalty. Sorry for being a bit absent (but I'm not the only one...you guys know who you are! Get back to work!). Busy at work, exhausted, family in from out of town, and I'm just not that into writing anymore. The muse is on a summer vacation I guess. Plus I'm not feeling very inspired. Big thanks to Liberty for the lovely review (but can't reply because it's anonymous, come on...join up! It's painless. Thanks for taking the time to review. I wasn't having a good day, was literally sick to my stomach over something stupid and someone who's worthless. Your review was perfectly timed!). Oh, and this one's for Ellibrial. Welcome back! We missed you and can't wait to read more from you!

Chapter 25: Day 11

I wake up feeling well rested and refreshed. It's been a while since I woke up feeling this good. I stretch out my limbs, but immediately place them back to their former position; around Linka.

She nuzzles into me and gives me a squeeze.

"Good morning," she murmurs against my chest.

"Mmm hmm," I agree, returning her embrace.

"It is late. We should probably get up before the others come looking for us…and if they find us…like this…"

"…they might get the wrong idea. I know," I say as I release her. She knows that Gi knows, but she doesn't know that because of me, Ma-Ti and Kwame also know…and don't approve.

I stand up and stretch once more, raising my hands above my head, and tilting my head back as my vertebras crack and pop…I'm gettin' old. When I bring my head back down, I catch Linka looking at me. I hope she likes what she sees. I need motivation to keep working out…with the junk that I eat, I gotta work for this look. Everyone probably thinks that this look comes naturally, but I've got my pre-bedtime work out routine of crunches, push-ups, and weights.

I pretend not to notice her looking at me…I know it'll only cause her to be embarrassed.

"WHEELER! THE DOOR WAS LEFT OPEN ALL NIGHT!"

"Oh, yeah. It wasn't shut when I got here last night. It's why I was able to just walk right in. I guess yesterday when I slammed it, it knocked it out of alignment. It doesn't shut right now."

"So you broke my door…AGAIN?"

Speaking of working out…

"Guess I don't realize my own strength," I say innocently, while jokingly flexing my muscles to prove my point. "Wanna feel?" I tease.

"I have felt," she smiles shyly.

I take it that means she likes what she felt!

"But what if someone came by…and saw…?" She asks.

"I don't think anyone did. We would've heard Gi squeal with delight, Ma-Ti would've squealed in embarrassment, and Kwame would've gasped so loudly in disgust that he would've sucked all the air out of the room….and then he would've let us know how inappropriate we're being."

She still has a worried look on her face.

"Don't worry Babe. People have been keeping their distance from you anyway...I'd bet big money that no one came anywhere near this cabin last night."

"Da, you are probably right."

"I'm gonna go back to my room and get dressed. Wanna meet me in the kitchen for breakfast?" I ask.

"I guess."

"You don't have to…I mean, if you're sick of me…" I know she's not. I know she's grateful for my help. I'm just joking…maybe I should stop though. I don't want her to think that I think she hasn't expressed how happy she is to have me help her through this.

"I am not sick of you…I just do not want to eat. I know I have to…but nothing sounds appetizing to me," she says as she crawls out from under the covers, crosses her arms over her chest, and rubs her arms to keep warm.

"Well maybe you'll feel differently once you get there. Maybe you'll find something that you can tolerate."

"I will try."

"That's all I'm asking," I say, opening my arms for her to step into.

She does and I wrap my arms around her, kissing the top of her head, and rubbing my hands up and down her back. We fit perfectly together. She's like a puzzle piece that fits flawlessly; the piece that's been missing from my life.

After a while, I pull away slightly, kiss her forehead and lean mine against hers as I slide my hands down her arms to take her hands in mine and say,

"See you in a bit."

She looks up at me and nods.

I reluctantly let go of her and back out the door, not breaking eye contact until the very last possible moment. That girl has no idea what she makes me feel. I'm falling fast and hard.

On my walk back to my cabin, all I can think about is how different today could have been. Instead of leaving Linka's cabin after sleeping there, I could be walking to her cabin for the first time since our fight, not knowing what horrible tragedy awaited me. The thought makes me cringe and a wave of nausea rushes over me. I'm not hungry at all anymore. Yeah, today could have potentially been the worst day of my life. But I'm not going to dwell on that…instead; I'm going to believe that today could potentially be one of the best days of my life. Linka's here. She's alive and she's with me…but not like that…not yet, but after last night, I know that my life would be incomplete if she wasn't in it. Thinking about it gives me the chills. A warm, relaxing shower is just what I need.

I'm a creature of habit. I always do everything the same way when it comes to my shower routine; turn on the shower and let the water warm up while I brush my teeth, by the time I'm done, the water is perfect. I get in the shower and then I shave before my little shower mirror gets too fogged up to see. Then I wash my hair, and lastly, I grab the soap and do a good scrub…well, second to last. The last thing I do is take a moment to myself to let the water beat down on me, relaxing my muscles, and to think about things…and by things, 99.9 percent of the time, I mean Linka. I close my eyes and imagine the beads of water trailing down my skin aren't water at all, but her finger tips...her lips. I get that familiar feeling in the pit of my stomach when I think of her like that. I feel guilty now though...after all she's been through, I'm still using her as the object of my teenage fantasies. I take a deep breath and sigh. Her name escaping my lips in a whisper as I let my imagination run wild.

Then I hear her calling my name. That's never happened before. My eyes fly open. SHE'S HERE?

"Lin?" I ask before confirming her presence by poking my head out around the shower curtain, pulling it around myself. "What's wrong?"

She blushes feverishly and looks away. "I am sorry. I…I am sorry."

"Hey, it's okay."

I shut off the water, reach out the side and feel around until I find my towel. I come out a few seconds later with the towel wrapped low on my waist.

She still won't look at me as I stand in front of her. I don't want to freak her out, so I approach her slowly, first rubbing her arms and then pulling her against me and holding her close.

"Tell me what's wrong," I say confidently. She came to me. That gives me a huge boost in our level of trust. Something freaked her out; she came to me…not caring about anything except getting to me. Yeah, reality has set in now that I'm standing before her in nothing but a towel…but she felt comfortable enough with me to just walk right into my room, into the bathroom when she knew I was showering...as long as she doesn't know what I was thinking during that time.

"The knife… it is still in my bathroom."

Oh no!

"I'm sorry Babe, I should have cleared all that!"

I'm such an idiot! I was so caught up in the moment this morning, so ready to put last night behind me, I completely forgot about her bathroom. Her clothes on the floor, her ripped shirt, the tub full of water…but worst of all, the knife.

She tightens her grip on me and rubs her cheek against my shoulder. Another time, another life, I would've given anything to be holding her like this and have her touch me like that. But now? I wish it didn't have to be this way. Why did it have to be like this? I can't enjoy this when I know she's hurting.

"It is okay, but I could not pick it up… I am so sorry Wheeler."

She's apologizing to me? I'm the idiot that lost track of the real purpose for me being with her this morning. I was way too happy. I guess in my haste to put the night before in the past, I forgot about all the reminders that were left behind…I could have handled seeing them…Linka however…she should have never had to see that. I'm the one that let her down…and she's apologizing to me.

"Hush now," I whisper, stroking her hair with one hand and holding her firmly with the other until her shaking gradually comes to an end and she sighs softly.

I pull away and kiss her forehead.

"I'll go tidy up, stay in here 'til I come back okay?"

She does, but as I move away, I hear her say,

"Erm Wheeler."

"Yeah Babe?" I turn to look at her and smile.

She points down at the towel I'm wearing.

"Do you want to get dressed first?"

Oops! Smooooooth move Wheeler. She must think I'm such a freakin' idiot! I was completely fine with her seeing me like this…now I'm completely embarrassed. Her giggling doesn't help either. But it does make me happy to see her smile…and I want to hear that giggle from her more often, which gives me an idea.

"Oh you think it's funny huh?"

"Wheeler…" she says with a tone of warning in her voice as she backs away. The look in my eyes must give away what I'm thinking.

I reach for her and she tries to get away, but she slips on the wet floor. She's on the way down, until I catch her, gathering her into my arms…right where I want her!

"Wheeler!" She squeals as my fingers begin their assault on her sides, tickling her until she's begging me to stop. She's laughing so hard, her eyes are watering…in a good way for the first time in a long time. Her laughter is contagious and when we finally stop, both of us wiping our eyes as we catch our breath, I kiss her forehead and lead her into my room, guiding her down to sit on my bed before grabbing my clothes and going into the bathroom to get dressed.

I rub the excess water out of my hair with the towel, and then brush my fingers though it to style it…somewhat. All those GQ models I see seem to have 'unruly' hair. This is what the chicks dig. While I'm going for the GQ look, might as well leave my shirt off. And should I even bother with a belt? It seems that pants that don't stay up are in style. I think I look pretty damn good. Maybe a dash of cologne…oh yeah! And I better remember my deodorant. Don't want to be offensive should the need to hold her arise again!

I come back out of the bathroom, to find her still sitting on my bed…she looks so relaxed and comfortable…like she's done it a million times.

"Won't be long Babe," I say.

I'm trying to sound upbeat and relax her, but inside, I'm not looking forward to this clean up at all.

When I get to her room, I pick up the shopping bag from yesterday and take out all the other clothes that she'd purchased. I fold them neatly and put them away. Then I take the shopping bag into the bathroom, and begin the task of cleaning up. The first thing I do is let the water out of the tub. Then I spot the knife. I can't just take it back to the kitchen. This knife can never be used again. It can never be seen again. I pick up the ripped shirt, wrap the knife up in it, and toss it into the bag. As for the pants, the bra, and the panties…there's nothing wrong with them…just a little water. Nothing a good wash through the spin cycle and tumble in the dryer can't fix…but does she want to keep them? Does she even remember what pair of jeans she was wearing? The underwear? Does she know? Should I ask her what she wants me to do with them? Or do I just wash them, put them away, and never mention them again? There's nothing wrong with them…it'd be wasteful to throw them out. She might not even care or remember what she was wearing…but I can't take the chance that she does…that it will trigger bad memories.

With my mind made up, I throw the clothes away. I'll take her shopping for a new pair of jeans…and I wouldn't object to going with her to pick out some new, undergarments! I'd love to give her my opinion! I laugh to myself, knowing she'd never be caught dead anywhere near a lingerie department with me! Not if she knows what's good for her! She might not like any of my suggestions…or maybe she'll surprise me and like them a little too much! Hey, a guy can dream can't he?

I go back to my cabin, where I find her laying on my bed, once again, just staring at the ceiling. She doesn't seem to notice me standing there until I say,

"Trying to envision what that skylight will look like?"

She jumps, coming back to reality, blushing and laughing uncomfortably as she sits up.

"Da, I guess…sorry. I was lost in thought."

I can only hope she was thinking of me.

"Good thoughts I hope," I say as I sit down next to her.

All she can do is nod and smile at me shyly. Obviously she doesn't want to talk about it; I hope that's not because she doesn't feel like she can…I would hope by now she knows she can tell me anything. But I'll let it go for now.

"Your room and bathroom are all ready for you…but if you want…if you're still feeling weird about it…you can use mine. Or not…you can use yours and I'll come with you…uh, not IN there with you, but I mean…to your room. I'd wait in your room…so I'd be close if you needed anything…not that you would. Unless you want me to wash your back, hehe…uhh…bad joke…sorry."

I don't know where that offer came from…I just felt like I needed to say something…and that's what came out.

Thankfully, she's chuckling and not mortified by what I just said.

"It is really okay Wheeler, you do not need to apologize but I think it would be better if I used my own room, on my own, I need to get over my anxiety."

She puts her hand in mine and links our fingers together.

"You can come and sit on my bed and wait for me if you want to though."

I squeeze her hand to let her know that I'll be there for her…I'm relieved that she's given me permission to stay in her room…I probably would've snuck in there anyway…just in case…and then snuck out before she could notice that I was there. But now I don't have to do that. At least I know she wants me there. It makes me smile.

She goes to stand up, but cries out as if in pain, almost falling over as she takes all her weight off one leg.

"What's wrong?" I ask as I help her regain her balance and then ease her down onto the bed.

I try to subtly check the floor to make sure she didn't step on or twist her ankle on anything I may have left lying on the floor. When I see her rubbing her leg muscles, I'm relieved to know that none of my possessions caused her injury.

"Cramps. I have been aching since I got up but it was not too bad and I thought a warm shower would fix it, I guess I waited too long."

"That's my fault. I should have taken care of that mess sooner. Let me make it up to you."

"It is not your fault Wheeler…but how do you plan on making it up to me?" She asks curiously, her voice carrying a hint of…a dare?

"Scoot back a little and lay back."

She does as I say and I kneel down on the floor in front of her.

She sits up on her elbows suddenly and asks,

"Wheeler what are you…"

"Sssh, lay back and relax," I say as I pull up her pant leg to her knee and begin massaging her calf, squeezing and kneading the tense muscles. What did she think I was going to do? Did she think...? Nah.

After a while of massaging the leg that cramped up, I move to the other leg. I can still feel the tension in her muscles, but it's not nearly as bad as the knot that was in her other leg.

I stand up, still holding her leg in my hands, and place her ankle on my shoulder. I take a step closer to her.

"Is that too much stretching? I'm not hurting you, am I?" I ask as I look down upon her.

She's got her arms folded behind her head and she's smiling up at me.

"Nyet, that feels…good."

"It's a good way to stretch the hamstring muscles," I try to justify my actions while continuing to run my hands up and down her calf muscles.

"Mmm hmm," she nods in agreement.

I put my hands on the top of her thigh and begin rubbing the muscles there, then move to the sides. This stretch is good for stretching out the back of the thigh, but the top and the sides…not as much, so the rubbing will have to do.

I look down at her again and she's got her eyes closed. I move my hands up a little higher and I think I see a slight smile. After a while, I gently lower her leg to the ground and repeat my actions on her other leg.

When I finish, she sighs. Don't worry Babe, I'm not done with you yet!

"Switch positions, with your head up by my pillow, and lay on your stomach," I instruct. "Oh, and take your shirt off."

"What?"

"Umm, just the sweatshirt…you have a t-shirt on underneath…I uh…it's too thick…if you really want a good massage, I gotta be able to get to your muscles…can't do that through all the layers."

"Oh. Ok."

Once she's settled, I climb onto the bed and straddle her hips, pressing my palms between her shoulder blades and moving them in a circular pattern, up and down her spine and across her shoulders. I apply more pressure as I move my palms up and down her back, causing her shirt to ride up. That little showing of skin has me mesmerized. It's like it's calling me to touch it. To knead the muscles beneath it and slide my hands further up, under her shirt.

Careful Wheeler, the way you're straddling her doesn't leave much to the imagination should 'Little Wheeler' get any ideas.

I shake the thoughts from my head, but I can't shake the need to touch her. So I move my hands to the small of her back, holding my breath as my skin makes contact with hers. I hear her take a deep breath and I pause. When she doesn't yell at me or pull away, I continue pressing my thumbs in deep, smoothing circles at the base of her spine. When she hums with pleasure, I nearly lose it and go back to thinking about what it would be like to run my hands the rest of the way up, under her shirt.

It's too much for me to handle. I remove my hands and pull her shirt down to cover her. I can feel the affect this massage is having on me, and the last thing I need is for Linka to feel it! I'm trying to relax her, not make her more tense, and if she knew what was goin' on…down there…she'd totally freak and think I was some kinda sicko. I'm supposed to be soothing her, not seducing her!

I re-adjust my sitting position to be further up her back. Then I smooth my hands down her arms, squeezing and releasing as I go. I make sure to pay attention to all sides, front and back of her arms.

After several minutes of that, I move to her neck. There's some serious tension there. I devote the rest of my massage to her upper back, shoulders, and neck. I go further up her neck to rake my fingers through her hair and massage her scalp. When I was a kid and needed a haircut, I'd either go with my dad to his barber or with my mom to her salon. Don't tell anyone, but I liked going to the salon better! When they would wash your hair, it felt soooooo good having someone else's fingers rub your scalp like that. It never feels that good when I wash my own hair. It was so relaxing; it could have put me to sleep. So I'm hoping that Linka is experiencing that same feeling.

This massage started nearly an hour ago, and as much as I love being able to touch her like this, my hands are getting tired, and my own legs are starting to feel crampy from sitting like this. I brace my hands on either side of her head, lean down, and whisper in her ear,

"Feel better?"

Her eyes are closed and for a moment, I think she's asleep…which is probably a good thing because when I leaned forward, a certain part of my anatomy that I was trying to avoid contact with her was now in direct contact with her. I move off the bed to stand next to her.

She takes a deep breath, then exhales, and rolls onto her back.

"Da, I feel so good, I do not want to move for fear of tightening up again…but I really do need to get back to my room and shower."

So she doesn't want to move? I think I can help her with that.

I scoop my arms behind her back and under her legs as I pick her up.

"Wheeler! What are you doing?" She squeals as she puts her arms around my neck.

"What's it look like? You don't wanna move, so I'm carrying you!"

"I was joking! I can walk!" She laughs.

"I know you can…but isn't this better?" I ask as I maneuver us through the doorway and over to her cabin.

I take her to her bed and playfully drop her there, except she doesn't let go of me. I wasn't expecting that. It causes me to lose my balance and she ends up pulling me down with her, on top of her.

We are laughing uncontrollably and once she releases me, I lift myself off her, bracing myself above her as I look down into her smiling eyes.

"Sorry, I did not mean to make you lose your balance and fall. Are you ok?"

I smile and nod.

"I'm more than ok," I reply as I brush a strand of her hair away from her face. "But what about you? I just kinda crushed you!"

"I am ok…more than ok, as you said."

She touches my arm, and then just as I did, she reaches up and runs her fingers through my hair. For a few moments neither one of us moves a muscle. We just look at each other and smile shyly. I'm willing my elbows to bend, to lower myself to her, to kiss her…I'm waiting to feel a tug from her, a signal to come closer…Instead, I smile at her and laugh nervously.

"Guess I better let you up so you can get your shower," I say as I move off her.

"I guess," she says.

Do I detect a hint of anger…or disappointment? She goes to her dresser, grabs some clothes, and heads towards the bathroom, closing the door a little harder than necessary.

"Great," I mumble as I flop down on the bed. "Now look what you did."

I grab a pillow and cover my head. Part of me wants to leave, to not be here when she gets out of the shower and face her…but part of me can't leave her. I'll just have to hope that her shower gives her time to think and forgive me for my indecision…the confusion and mixed signals are something that I always hated dealing with…and now I'm doing the same thing to her.

I guess I'll just have to wait and see.

To Be Continued…

Don't forget, in order to get the full affect of the story, you HAVE TO read Linka's side of the story in Chapter 25 of LouiseX's Codependence.