A/N: Yay, got the 25th chapter up! :D Whoopie! All right, have fun reading this, I really hope you all enjoy it. :)
REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW! Please! I love hearing what all my fans have to say, it helps me power through and write more. :D
Ch. 25
Trauma PatientA/N: Yay, got the 25th chapter up! :D Whoopie! All right, have fun reading this, I really hope you all enjoy it. :)
REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW! Please! I love hearing what all my fans have to say, it helps me power through and write more. :D Kate smiled happily as she marveled in the glorious light shining about her. Closing her eyes she sucked in a slow deep breath and laughed joyously. Spinning in a circle she put her arms out palms up to the sky, and threw her head back enjoying the cool, yet warm, feeling that flooded her body. Stopping she looked down at her feet and grinned at the beautiful Pointe shoes she was wearing. She hadn't even told Lanie that she used to do ballet, but she'd always loved it, and still went to her old studio if she had time. Doing a slow Pas de bourrée dessus en tournant she laughed excitedly before beginning to dance her heart out like she loved to do when she her mother was still alive.
Jeté battu dessus, échappé sauté, petit jeté dessus… free, dancing, doing what she loved…. Fouetté rond de jambe en tournant, double cabriole, pas de chat, plié, relevé, royale, chaînés, brisé volé, Grande pirouette à la seconde….
Stopping Kate smiled and laughed again, squinting happily against the brightening light surrounding her. Grabbing her sides tiredly she split down to the floor, surprised she could still go all the way down since she hadn't stretched out in the longest time. Closing her eyes she rested her head against her knee, relaxing in the wonderful calmness that fluttered throughout her soul.
"May I help you?" She heard a familiar Irish accented male voice ask.
Opening her eyes she found herself sinking into the gold sprinkled green eyes of her dance partner. Unable to believe that he was really there she breathed out uncertain words, "Excuse me?"
"It looks to me like you need a partner," He flashed a soft smile and put out his hand, "Care to dance Kat?"
She smiled at the use of the nickname he'd always called her. When the first met around the age of four she told him her name and immediately he had said Kat. He'd called her that every day up until the accident that took him away from her. He'd died in a car crash, he was found crushed by the dashboard. The last thing he'd ever said to her was 'I love you,' and after he died she began to stop dancing. Kate couldn't find a partner like him, and it always felt wrong to her, almost as if she was cheating on him. Then her mother was taken away and she stopped going for good.
Taking a hold of his hand a small tear slipped down her cheek, "I would love to dance Tyrone."
Standing up they took their positions and he counted them off before they began to move. Freedom, their freedom… their smoothness, perfect timing, flowing, gentleness, swift, slow, and simple freedom. Dancing, heavenly dancing, sweet and familiar. They fell into a quick rhythm, their rhythm from when they danced together all those years ago. Smooth and gentle they performed, closing out the world like they did during competitions, simple togetherness, alone together, dancing. Turning, spinning, leaping, flying… Kate could see a crowd gathering about them aw etched into their faces at the glorious sight before them. She and Tyrone had never gotten anything less then first place, they were just so wonderful together, they fit, they matched, the two of them were synced so well people couldn't believe their eyes, just like the ones gathering about them.
As they finished, breathless and overjoyed, a warm applause broke out through the crowd. Taking each other's hand Kate and Tyrone took their bow and the audience only became louder. Smiling happily Kate found herself locked into a giant hug from Tyrone as he whispered in her ear, "Come, I know someone that would love to watch us perform," He grasped Kate's hand tighter and began to pull her through the mass of bodies almost as if he were in a rush.
Laughing Kate squeezed his hand lovingly as she spoke, "All right, don't be in such a hurry Ty, I would love to dance for someone else, but let me catch my breath first."
"Oh, here..." Tyrone turned swiftly and pressed his lips to hers, molding his against her own. She melted, remembering the day he gave her her first, she'd been so in love with him... he pulled away slowly and Kate found herself no longer tired or out of breath. She gaped at him and he smiled before continuing to tug her behind him. Puzzled but excited she trailed him, picking up speed wanting to find out where they were headed.
Kate gasped when they came upon a large white fenced gate that stretched towards the end of the sky. Straining her eyes she tried to see the top but couldn't find where the gate ended. Her attention was pulled from the gate when Tyrone spoke, "Welcome to the pearly gates. Come, Gabriel will let us in, in a moment. We must be ready because the gate's aren't open for very long."
Kate nodded and stepped to his side, ready to bolt, when a hand grasped her shoulder... Turning her knees grew weak when she saw who was standing there, "Mom?"
"Sweetie, what are you doing? This is not your time to go. You are supposed to be happy with Richard, and his family. Kate you're supposed to be having a wonderful time with your new family. If you step past the pearly gates you'll never get to return sweetheart. Don't give up, I know you've been through a lot lately, but Richard, and Alexis need you. Dad needs you, Montgomery, Lanie, Esposito, Ryan… they all love you, and you're here about to, well basically, kill yourself. I know how you feel about Tyrone, but you need to let that go and return to earth baby. I love getting to watch my baby grow up, maybe not the way either of us wanted, but don't take it away from me. If you die then I won't get to watch you create a family. You've waited so long, and now the chance is here. Take it, go back where you belong. Take that chance and make people happy. Don't make the wrong choice, don't end your life here because of your love for dance, go back and show people what you can do, show them how good you are, tell them."
"Mom? What do you mean? What's going on?"
Johanna took her daughter's hand in her own and smiled, "Honey, this is the entrance to heaven. You are close to death because you've had an accident, and your unconsciousness is choosing that death will the better option after what you've gone through. You are choosing the stupid way out because you're telling yourself that you've been through enough, and that this is the only option. Don't think like that, you are the strongest person I know, even before I died Kate, you were so determined."
"Mom, I'm going to go dance with Ty, I'm not going to die. I'll be back when we're through," she sounded childish, frustrated, and confused as her mom pursed her lips in a sad smile and pulled her into a hug.
"No, sweetie, you won't be back. Tyrone wants you to dance before God. You won't be back if you pass the gates. Now go home, run away from the light into the darkness on the other side. Wish to return to be with your family, don't enter the gates, not yet, this isn't your time."
Pulling away from her mother Kate had tears in her eyes while she asked, "Mom, who did this to us? Who killed you?"
Johanna shook her head before wiping away Kate's tears, "You aren't ready to know that yet. Kate, you need to be able to deal with knowing who killed me, and you aren't ready yet. You'll be ready when you find out for yourself."
"What do you mean I'm not ready? I've been ready since the day it happened!"
"No, sweetie, you haven't been. You still aren't ready. You'll be ready when you find the killer on your own. Now go, run into the darkness and return to Richard, he's a wonderful man who needs you," wrapping her daughter in a tight hug Johanna whispered into Kate's ear, "I love you with all my heart, don't ever forget that," before letting go and walking away.
"I love you too mom," Kate whispered before turning back to Tyrone, who had been silently standing by, observing the scene she'd just had with her mother, "Ty? Is it true? You want me dead?"
He stepped to her and wrapped his arms around her waist, "I want you, I want to dance, I want to feel alive… but I also want you happy, and if that means I have to wait longer to dance with you again, then I'll wait, because I love you."
Resting her head against his chest another tear slipped down her face and the lights around her began to dim as she spoke, "I love you too Ty… but I love Castle s-" Her words were cut off as Tyrone pressed his lips to hers tenderly. Tracing her bottom lip with his tongue he deepened the kiss when she parted her lips, and they played tag until the need for oxygen became too great.
Breaking away Tyrone pointed towards the way they had come, "Now go, run as fast as you can and don't look back! Run and find the darkness you so desire, it'll get you back to Castle. I'll be waiting, I'll wait for our next dance Kate, always will…" He gave her one last loving glance before turning and walking to the gates. He called up to the endlessness of it and stepped inside when the gates parted slowly, like her lips had, and disappeared when they closed behind him.
Sucking in a breath Kate ran, faster then she had imagined she could, in the direction he had pointed in, she ran and ran, not daring to look back for fear of stopping and never returning to her life. Her Pointe shoes turned into heels, her jeans into a hospital gown, and her hair became a mass of knots. The bright world became dark and her breathing heavy and labored. Her eyes stung with tears, her leg and head pounded in pain. It hurt to swallow but she didn't stop, couldn't stop, didn't want to stop, running faster, more pain overcame her until she collapsed onto the ground unable to go further. Crawling now she continued into the black before her, moved slowly and painfully against the now no longer smooth ground. A sharp pang shot through her chest into her head and she felt her breath catch before her eyes fluttered closed…
And opened to be looking at a white ceiling. The pain in her head and leg continued and she screamed in agony.
/ Standing swiftly when the door opened Castle quickly bombarded the doctor with questions, unable to contain his worry, "How is she? Can I see her? Is she awake? Do you know what happened? What new damaged has been caused? Is her leg ok? Is she going to be able to walk still-"
Dr. Anderson cut her off with a hallow chuckle, "Hold on Mr. Castle. Take a breath please, and sit down. She's stable, and yes she'll be able to still walk. Luckily the stitches didn't pull enough to really inflict any extra damage. Her back has been cleansed and wrapped, but there will be scars, possibly worse then they would have been before she reopened the wounds. She's acquired a small hairline fracture to the back of her skull, and most likely will have a very minor concussion when she wakes up…"
"When she wakes up? Let me guess you wanted to say 'if' she wakes up?" He slumped down into one of the chairs and buried his face in his hands.
"Castle, Beckett's a tough woman, she's going to get through this, take a breath and just listen to her all right bro," Esposito sat next to his friend and clapped his hand against Richard's back.
"Mr. Castle, there is a chance she won't wake up, she could go into a coma from shock and blood loss. It's not likely, but it's almost like Cassidy's case, she could die simply by giving up. She's been through so much, and it may be too much for her."
Ryan had shock plastered to his face as he spoke "Oh God, first she los-"
"Hey, hold on, did I just hear that my girl may go into a coma?" Lanie interrupted Ryan as she came up with Alexis.
"There is a chance yes, it's small, but we can't deny it. Kate is a trauma patient. I know she's strong, God if anyone knows how strong she is it's me, I've known her since the second grade, but we need to treat her like the trauma patient she is. If she gets through this stepping stone, if she gets to the next step in this process she'll be fine, but it's this first step that's the hardest."
"Have you ever been through a trauma? Huh? Have you! Do you understand what it's like?" Castle looked up and screamed, losing his control on his humanity.
Running to him Alexis wrapped her arms around him, "Daddy, it's ok, Kate is strong, did you hear her? Kate is strong enough, and with all of us here she will make it past this first step, we will help her get through this. You don't need to badger Kate's doctor and friend about her personal life, you're angry, you don't need to be angry." Alexis had tears pouring down her cheeks as she looked up at Kiley, "I'm sorry, he just loses control sometimes, and asks stupid questions."
Kiley shook her head and handed Alexis a handkerchief, "It's ok Alexis, he deserves to know that I'm not just saying what any doctor would say. Yes Richard, not only have a helped Katherine through her own traumatic events of her past, but I've dealt with plenty of my own. My mother died of cancer a year before Kate's mom was murdered, and… a few years after that… I was…" Dr. Anderson rubbed her eyes swiftly before stuffing her hands into her pockets and turning around, "I was raped, I've been through trauma, and Kate helped me past that first step. So yes, I know first hand what it's like."
Castle looked at her with sorrow in his eyes, "Oh, God, I'm sorry, I was… I didn't… she… I thought…"
"Don't apologize, that's the one thing I hate about telling people. Please, I told you because you asked, I didn't tell you to get sympathy, I get enough of it from other people I don't need it from my best friend's fiancé."
Before anyone could answer in the short silence that followed, a scream broke out from the room. Jumping out of the way Alexis watched her father rush into the room behind Anderson. Standing to join them Lanie blocked her way and grabbed hold of Esposito and Ryan, "Hold on, give them space for a minute. It's a crowded room and she needs to be able to work fast, not work around us," she closed the door and motioned for everyone to back off a bit.
Exhaling slowing Esposito put his hands behind his head and turned in a slow circle, "God, what Beckett must have gone through. She broke down at the precinct and left, and I didn't follow her…"
Ryan placed his hands on his hips and leaned against the wall, "After what she said we should have run after her, made sure she was ok. That she was ok to drive after opening that wound like that. Man were we stupid…"
Shaking her head Lanie gave the boys a confused look, "Wait a minute, are you saying you two know?"
"Know what?" Esposito asked.
Alexis looked at Lanie, "You don't think they know do you? How would they know?"
"Did she tell you? You said she broke down, does that mean she said what I think she said? There's no way you'd be acting this way if she hadn't told you."
Ryan returned Lanie's funny look and pointed at her, "Wait you know? When did she tell you?"
"Before she went to talk to Natasha, she was crying in my morgue room."
"No way, she was there when I wanted to… well thank God we didn't then…" Esposito joined in.
"So four of us know but she won't tell my dad?" Alexis asked bewildered.
"Oh my God, Castle doesn't know? Phew, thank God you interrupted me Lanie, or we all would have been screwed," Ryan ran his hand through his short hair and moved to sit in a chair.
Joining his partner in a seat Esposito slouched down and threw his hand up in a frustrated motion, "We are talking about the same thing right? We are talking about Beckett's miscarriage?"
Shock spreading across her face Alexis started crying as said, "Oh my God, you do know…" before running off.