Well i saw that some of you didn't like Spencer's reaction.. Well in this chapter i hope you like her better.. Thank you for your wonderful reviews..
Chapter 24
I can't turn off my mind. I can't take Ashley out of my mind. I keep seeing her running to catch me. I still hearing her calling my name. I needed to go. I needed to be alone. I may overreact here but I know myself. I know how I am. And when I am like that I need to be alone with my thoughts. If I stayed I might have said words that weren't appropriate . And right now I am doing the right thing..
"Were to go Ms?" I hate taxis. Here and everywhere. I just don't trust the taxi drivers. I bite my lip and hope not be found in an alley raped.
"To the beach"
"Were exactly?" were exactly? I don't have a fucking clue. Every time I have been at the beach I was with Ashley. I don't even remember the name. Shit.
"Is there a beach nearby?"
"Yes, there is a beach. We will be there in 10 minutes"
I was looking outside the window thinking what happened minutes before. I wasn't mad at Ashley because she told to that Jacob guy to get lost. Actually I liked that because it was the first time I saw her getting jealous. Actually it was the second time. She confessed that she was jealous over Mike. I was mad because out of nowhere she outted me, us, in front of Sammy and Greg. I didn't say that I wouldn't tell them ever but at that time it wasn't the right moment. I wanted to tell them while we would sit and having a coffee, or watching a movie. Something like that. But she was very mad at that guy that she couldn't hold herself.
Sometimes I overreact. I overanalyze things and I can't turn off my mind. This is so bad and so wrong. Right now I think that my mind is going to explode and with all that I have to keep an eye on the taxi driver just in case he makes a move on me. I play with my keys. It's nothing wrong to be prepared.
"Are you from here?"
"What?"
"Are you from here? Because your accent is not American. I suppose you are not from here"
"No"
"Where are you from?" I looked at him one more time. He didn't seem a maniac or a psycho but who does before they commit a crime? I've seen Criminal Minds, Profiler, CSI, and all that series.
"Are we there yet?"
"It has traffic. I think it would be better if we changed our route and go from another way. I know it will have no traffic" my mind goes to not happy places right now. I feel my heart beat even faster. I have to stay calm and to show him I am not afraid.
"It's ok. We can stay on our route. I am not rushing"
"As you wish Ms"
I told you before and I will say that again. I have seen so many scary movies that every time I have to go somewhere I pray. You can laugh as much as you want but that's how I feel.
"We are here. 20 dollars" 20 dollars for a 10 minute ride? Well it wasn't 10 minutes because of the traffic but still.. 20 dollars? Thieves.
"Here"
"Have a good night"
"Yeah"
I thank God who protected me and I am safe and not raped in an alley. But I keep doing the same mistakes. I am at the beach, alone, at 12am. Nice Spencer. Sometimes I do make wrong decisions and leaving Ego alone was a wrong decision.
I try to find my phone and call Ashley to tell her I am sorry for leaving that way but I can't find it. I start panicking again. This day is so not good. And I gave my last 20 dollar to the taxi driver. Shit shit shit. They are very right when they say 'young and stupid', because for the first time in my life I feel so so stupid. Stupid for reacting the way I did, stupid for leaving Ashley and how safe I feel next to her, stupid for not carrying more money with me. Stupid. And where the fuck I left my phone. I want to go home. I want my mom, my family. I just want to go home.
I am sitting at the beach crying, alone. It does calm me to be here but right now I want Ashley. She can calm too and I want to tell her how sorry I am.
"I am so stupid. So stupid"
"No you are not"
Ashley! How? She found me? I must be dreaming because how she found me?
"Ash?"
"I knew you would be here"
"How?"
"You love the sea. It's the only place it calms you. I was hoping you would be here and thank God you were" she knows me so well.
"I am sorry. I am so sorry Ash for earlier. I am stupid. I really am."
"I am sorry Spence. I shouldn't do what I did but.. with you I feel things I never felt before and sometimes I can't help myself. I saw that guy and he was pissing me off."
"I told him no Ash. You heard me. Several times"
"Baby, you are still young. You were polite to this guy. Guys don't get what 'no' means. And besides that I remembered last time, when you.. almost.." I know what she is trying to say. I know because I still remember that day or night to be exact.
"I know baby"
"No you don't. Spence, when you told me what happened that night I wanted to find the guy who almost did that to you and kick his ass. When I saw that guy touching you at Ego I snapped. I remembered that night and that I wasn't there to protect you. It was my fault and what I did that made you leave our room. I.."
"Stop. Ok? That night is over. Nothing happened and Ash you can't protect me from everyone."
"I can and that is a promise"
"My knight in shine armor"
"At your service"
"I would call you Ash but I don't remember where I left my phone. I must have lost it"
"I have it. I called you the moment you were inside the taxi several times but you didn't pick it up. I thought that you didn't want to talk to me. I went inside and told the guys what happened. They told me that you forgot your phone at the table. I was worried about you. You know that? Don't do that ever again. As angry as you are with me, don't leave me again that way. Stay, yell at me, hit me but don't leave me" I could see that my decision hurt Ashley. I was hurting too seeing her like that..
"Spence, all this, what I feel about you is so new for me. I never felt like this for anyone. I didn't know what jealousy meant till I met you. And right then you weren't even mine. I want to keep you safe in my arms, love you, taking care of you. I don't want to scare you but I am so in love with you. You can't imagine how much in love with you I am"
"Ash, you are not alone in all this. It's new for me too. You are my first in so many things. You are the first person I fell in love with, make love to, and be in relationship with. And don't forget that you are a girl and not a guy. So it's all new for me too but we are here together and that is what matters the most. Ok?"
"Ok, so you forgive me for outing us?"
"If you forgive me for overreacting?"
"Deal"
"What Sammy and Greg said?"
"Actually I didn't stay to find out. Once I got inside I left to find you. So I guess we will see them again?"
"Probably. They will have questions. Will you hold my hand?"
"Always baby"
We stayed there for a little while. She was hugging me and immediately I felt safe in her arms once again. We left because I was starting to feel cold. It was 1.30am when we got inside Ashley's car. When I looked at my phone I saw three texts from Sammy.
'Call me when you see the text'
'Spence, I hope you are ok and that Ashley found you'
'Spencer, we are worried. Please call me'
I called Sammy right away. I didn't want to make more people worry about me. And they were good friends. I was lucky that I met them.
"Hey Sammy"
"Spence, oh my God. Ashley found you?" I looked at Ashley and smiled. Ashley found me. She always did
"Yes, she did."
"Don't you ever do that again, you crazy Greek girl. Ok? This is not Greece. Haven't you seen our movies? There are so many crazy people out there"
"I know, I am sorry guys. Tell Greg that I am sorry."
"I will. Tell Ashley I said thank you"
"I will but why?"
"For taking care of my friend and for loving her". I didn't expect that. Sammy took me off guard. She was ok although she knew about me and Ashley? Me and Ashley? Like girl and girl be in a relationship?
"I'll tell her" I said smiling at Ashley. This time she smiled at me back and interlocked our fingers.
"See you tomorrow?"
"Yes. You can by Starbucks with Greg if you want."
"Ok, it's a date. See you tomorrow"
"Bye Sammy"
"Bye Spence"
I closed the phone and I was looking at it. Sammy was ok. And I was worried that she wouldn't. I am glad I was wrong. And now I feel more relaxed. More free. I loved Sammy. Not that way. My love is Ashley and only. No one else.
Once we were back at the dorms I couldn't wait to feel Ashley's hands on me. Not in a sexual way. I just wanted to feel her. Hold me and kiss me.
"Baby, are you feeling ok? Do you want me to bring you something?"
"Yes, you"
"Baby you have me. All of me."
"Ash, could you come here?"
I was sitting on the edge of our bed. Ashley came in front me and I just put my hands round her waist and let my head listen to her heart. Her heart was beating fast
"Baby? Your heart is beating fast"
"Because of you. You make my heart beat fast Spence. Every time you look at me, touch me, hold me, and make love to me. My heart beats only for you"
"And mine beats only for you. Ash, I am sorry again for tonight"
"Spence, we both were wrong tonight. And we will be again. What matter the most is to be able to find each other."
"You found me tonight"
"I will always find you"
"How come you became so wise?"
"I am older baby and you are young"
"Yeah, ok. Whatever granny"
"What did you call me?"
"Granny"
"You say that again and you will be sorry"
"Granny, granny, granny"
"You asked for it"
Oh, I did. My mistake. You think we had sex? You are wrong people. We made sweet love. That's I always do with my Ashley.
TBC
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