Time to Choose

Hoshi Ayaka

Disclaimer: I do not own Saiyuki.

The path into the cave behind the waterfall was rocky and more than a little slippery. I carefully chose my steps in the dark while trying to focus on any ambush or surprises that I fully expected at any moment. Now would be the perfect time for the remaining demons to overtake Goku, Hakkai, and me. The rushing water was singing out to me. I wanted to jump in and rinse the blood and filth from my body. The demons had certainly been tough. Droplets of water landed on my face and hair when we were closer the the waterfall. Just a few more steps and we were standing behind the cascading water.

The mouth of the cave was dark. The only source of light was the moon outside and that didn't last once we began moving further inside. Goku pushed forward with absolutely no fear. I was feeling anxious for Hakkai. There was nothing good about any of this. We were being drawn into the cave for a reason. I brushed my fingers against Hakkai's palm. He caught them in his hand and gave them a quick squeeze before releasing them. My heart jumped into my throat. I just got Hakkai back. I wasn't losing him again. That had become my mantra.

The more we walked, the more humid it grew. The oppressive stickiness pressed against my chest making it hard to breathe. I could feel Hakkai and Goku close to me in the darkness. Their life force was stinging my skin. Goku's especially. It burned bright and hot in his anger. The walls of the cave were suddenly vibrating around us. The voice that rang out loud and clear in the darkness made my own anger surge.

"That was much faster than I expected. I guess everything I've heard about the Sanzo party is true."

When we remained silent, the black-haired bastard started to laugh.

"Please, pardon my rudeness!"

Light suddenly filled the cave and we were standing at the entrance of a large dome shaped "room." The ceiling and walls were strangely smooth. It made me think it had once been filled with water. The demon leader stood at the back of the room, his two henchmen flanked his sides. Off to the left Sanzo lay in a heap, unmoving, on the floor. Most of his black shirt was missing and his jeans were torn and dirty, like he'd been dragged along the ground. My heart was pounding just looking at our monk near death and being unable to go to him immediately. Goku was practically foaming at the mouth. Hakkai was the only one of us who seemed to be in control of his feelings. My rage continued to build.

"You know my demons had five times the strength of a normal demon. You boys managed to defeat them anyway. What is it about you that is so damn special?"

I couldn't control myself. It was too much. "You son of a bitch. I'm gonna rip you apart piece by piece and shove those pieces up your fucking ass."

My weapon was itching in my hands while I listened to that bastard laugh.

"And don't you want to ask how they got that strength?" Stupid asshole just ignored me. His question was directed at Hakkai.

"One would assume you had something to do with it." Hakkai kept his voice even and free of emotion.

"I did!" The stupid demon was grinning like a kid in a candy shop. He was so damn proud of himself. "I gave it to each and every one of them. And do you know what I got in return?"

Hakkai just looked at him, knowing that he was going to tell us whether we wanted to know or not.

"I can give anyone five times their normal strength and I get any special powers they may have in return. If there's nothing particularly special about them, I get their strength when they die."

That stupid bastard was so damn happy to tell us that. Like he knew there was no way we would ever be able to defeat him. It made me want to beat him to a bloody pulp all the more. I hated to be underestimated. The demon was laughing again.

"Red! You're so hot tempered! And you...Hakkai?" At that Hakkai gave a little start. The demon licked his lips and continued, "You like that temper of his don't you? You're also worried about the trouble it's going to cause."

I growled in anger and squeezed my fists around my weapon. I didn't want that bastard in Hakkai's mind. The demon cocked his head at a weird angle and looked at Goku.

"You. I have a hard time reading you. There's a...blank spot. There are also many lives in your head." He stared harder at Goku like he was thought he was going to finally understand something. I understood that this fight would be even harder than expected with an opponent that could read our movements.

When Hakkai spoke, he seemed to break the demon from a sort of trance. "Well, I'm glad you could give us a demonstration of your skills. Is there anything else we should know? You said you gained the powers of other demons. What else can you do?"

Another loud laugh. "Uh, uh. It wouldn't be any fun if I told you, now would it? Why don't we get this over with so I can take that scroll along with your lives." He waved to the two demons who had been waiting patiently beside him. They moved quickly toward us.

Goku didn't even take a moment to glance at the two demons. He was running with incredible speed toward Sanzo, knowing Hakkai and I would take care of them. I let him go as I focused on the next battle.

In the end, it really wasn't much of a battle. I was a little worn out from earlier, but I'd learned how to get rid of the bastards easily. A couple of quick swipes at the two and I had them blinded. Hakkai took them down and with a smooth slice I'd severed their heads. Not hard at all.

I tried not to let the smirk I felt inside reach my lips. It was still a bit early to get too cocky. If that bastard had all the powers of the dead demons and their strength, he was going to be one tough son of a bitch. I turned to Hakkai who was watching the leader and Goku.

Goku was on his knees a couple of feet away from Sanzo. Some sort of invisible shield had been placed before Sanzo making it impossible for Goku to reach him. The monkey was howling in anger and cursing the demon for stopping him. There were tear stains on his dirty cheeks. Even though I would never admit it to him in a million years, it tore at my heart. If it were Hakkai...hell, it was bad enough that it was Sanzo. In a strange, twisted way, I loved that damn bastard too.

Hakkai placed a hand on Goku's shoulder to pull him back and up. His green eyes never left the leader. On closer inspection that asshole was much uglier than I'd first thought. His face was pockmarked and dirty. His muscles were straining against his tightly stretched skin. It made me want to throw up to see his grinning face. I hated feeling like we were in trouble.

Goku stood in front of Hakkai and leaned against him for support. His body was shaking in anger. Hakkai still had his hand in place.

"Goku..."

"No Hakkai, I've had enough. We have to get Sanzo help now."

Goku plunged forward, his weapon already in hand. The demon was laughing. I could see the pure bliss on his face. He was enjoying the fight, enjoying our worry and Goku's helplessness. I took a step forward to help Goku when Hakkai slowed me with a hand on my arm.

"Please, be careful."

His green eyes flashed his worry and I loved him more than I had ever loved anything in that moment. I nodded to him and rushed forward to join Goku.

We fought hard, fought with everything we had. Hakkai threw up his chi to shield us more than a few times. Every time I turned and saw Sanzo laying there it seemed like there was more blood pooling around him. It would scare me, then make my anger rise so I would fight even harder. I could never get a solid hit on the demon bastard. He moved like he weighed nothing and when one of us should have connected, he managed to use his shield to protect himself.

The harder we fought, the more he laughed. Hakkai was breathing heavily beside me. His attacks had slowed. He was reserving his energy for something more serious. Just throwing chi balls at the demon was doing nothing. I tried to get Goku's attention to tell him to move back, but he just kept attacking. I knew at the rate we were going, we would run out of energy and eventually fall. It was then that we discovered the bastard could use fire. It wasn't anything amazing, just small balls of heat that made the skin blister if they touched you. I found that out firsthand. They hurt like a bitch and pissed me off even more.

Goku was bleeding from cuts all over his body. His breathing had also grown heavy and ragged. We were fighting an enemy who could shield himself from movements that he knew were coming. I squeezed my eyes shut for only a moment. I quickly tried to think of a way to combat this bastard. I opened my eyes just in time to see Goku's nyoi-bo connect with the demon's skull. Suddenly, everything appeared to move in slow motion. His head flew back as blood rained through the air. Goku was grinning and moving in for another attack. At the same time Hakkai had dashed for Sanzo. The scroll was in his hand as he bent down to kneel at Sanzo's side. Hakkai tucked it under Sanzo's body and felt around to check his breathing. I turned back to Goku in time to see him being thrown backwards. He flew through the air like a doll. The demon's hand was out toward Hakkai. His body appeared enormous as the lights in the cave began to flicker.

I moved faster than I had ever moved in my entire life. The bastard was building up his chi. A black mass of sparks was at his fingers. It was the complete and utter opposite of the pure light that Hakkai produced. My heart was racing as I moved to stop him from hurting Hakkai. I jumped and swung my weapon. The clanking of the chains sent shivers down my spine. I felt it make a connection at the same time a clawed hand wrapped around my throat and squeezed. I was lifted from the ground. My weapon fell to floor below while my feet dangled and everything began to grow black. The talons were digging into my throat. I could feel the blood dripping down my chest. The last thought I had as I was flung to the ground was one of relief that Hakkai was safe for the moment. I lost consciousness.

I looked up just in time to see Gojyo thrown to the ground. My heart practically stopped in my chest when I looked upon Gojyo's body. I feared he was dead. Goku was shouting Gojyo's name over and over. It was a loud roar in my ears. At the same time, the demon was growling in anguish. Gojyo had managed to cut off his arm.

I moved quickly from the ground and rushed for Goku. Now that Gojyo was down it was just the two of us. We needed to get help as soon as possible for Sanzo and Gojyo. I was alarmed that we would lose both of them now.

The demon had fallen to his knees grasping at his arm. There was blood everywhere. He was cursing Gojyo. The air around him was heavy with his fury. The light in the cave continued to flicker with his wavering control. I grabbed Goku and bolted back to Sanzo. I dropped him next to the broken body and tried my best to gain his attention. Goku was frantic in his despair. I tried to calm him by placing my hands on his shoulders and sending my chi gently into his body. I spoke quietly so he would have to stop his shouting in order to hear me.

"Goku...Goku. I need you to listen. Focus on me please Goku." His golden eyes began to focus on my face. When the glazed look had passed I tried to speak calmly and clearly. I needed Goku to help me end things quickly.

"Goku. We need to hurry now. Both Sanzo and Gojyo will be dead soon if we can't get them out of here."

Goku whimpered but remained intent. Before I continued, I nodded, letting him know I understood how hard this was for him.

"I'm going to take off my limiters Goku. I don't have the strength or energy for a drawn out battle."

"Hakkai! No! I can do this. We just need to..."

"Goku! We need to move quickly. I can control myself better than you can therefore I'm the best choice."

"But my strength Hakkai!"

"I can't control you Goku. You know that."

The demon was beginning to stand up. There was no more time to argue. I reached up and took a clip from my ear. I was sliding the second from it's place when Goku turned and began speaking to Sanzo in hushed tones. I tried my best to focus on Goku's words but I could already feel the change surging through my body. I could stop it, but I felt my best chance of handling the demon leader would be in my own demon form. I removed the last cuff and let the burning sensation lick through my body.

The urge for blood and death was overwhelming but it felt so good to release my inner monster. I had to constantly speak with myself in my mind to make sure I stayed in control. When I was like this, it was so easy to forget.

Goku's voice was immediately like a screeching in my ears. I could always hear so much better when I was a demon. His frantic, urgent whispers made me want to rip his throat out in annoyance. I kept myself in check, refusing to look at him. I listened and watched the demon who was my true enemy. Goku was apologizing to Sanzo that we hadn't been there, that it was his fault Sanzo was in this situation, that he would make everything right. I rolled my eyes in disgust and once again contained the urge to fight Goku.

The big demon was grinning and letting his eyes wander over me. He snarled a laugh.

"I feel honored Hakkai. It's a rare occasion when one gets to see you in this form."

My voice was raspy and harsh when I spoke. "It means your death."

I rushed forward, leaving Goku to his apologies and used my speed to gain an advantage. My fist slammed against the demon's jaw and knocked him backwards. He slid back a foot and wiped blood from his mouth as he grinned. There were no words between us, just heat and anger and excitement at the fight we knew would come.

Lunging forward, I managed to get a hold on the thick neck of the long haired demon. I let my claws sink into his flesh. My hands tingled at the thrilling sensation. I watched entranced as my nails dug in and the blood began to roll in thin rivulets down his neck. I licked at my lips and began to wonder if maybe I could make it pour from deeper gashes. It was the husky voice of the demon that broke me from my trance.

"Hakkai. You're just as bad as the boy over there. There are two of you in there. I can hear the control you're exerting over him."

"That's where you are wrong." I could feel my anger rising, the need to rip him to pieces was growing by the second. "There is no other. Only me. I am me and these thoughts are mine. I do want to rip your throat out. It doesn't matter what form my body takes."

I let the dark green vines slither from my body and wrap themselves snugly around his throat. When I squeezed my hand they squeezed too. I could feel the demon's breath trapped beneath my hand and I was filled with joy. I lifted him and threw him against the wall of the cave. His body crashed into the rocks and slid with a sick cracking sound that brought me pleasure.

I took a moment to check on Gojyo. Even in this form I could not forget him. It was one of the few things that kept me from letting my morbid thoughts take over completely. One can not love when fully entrenched in thoughts of blood and death. I held onto my lucidity for him. He was my reason.

The demon was rising from the rubble that had fallen to the floor of the cave. His eyes had gone wild with his irritation and rising fear. His remaining hand clenched into a fist at his side as he inhaled and exhaled rapidly.

"You son of a bitch. I'm going to kill you and your friends and take all the glory for myself."

He aimed his blistering fire at me. I used all my speed to dance around it. I pounded my hand against the floor of the cave and allowed the vines to extend and cover the floor. They raced along and wound around the leader's ankles and up his legs. They pulled him to the ground, cutting him deeply everywhere they touched. He shouted his anger. A pulsing heat grew in a wave over the cave and knocked me flat on my back.

I lay there a moment trying to regain my breath, feeling as if all the air had been forced from my lungs. I heard Goku coughing in spasms off to the side. Whatever that bastard had done had affected all of us. I began coughing too as the oxygen flooded back into my body. It was abruptly cut off again by the large boot shoved against my throat. That fucking demon towered over me chuckling at my position beneath him.

"Very nice try Hakkai. I should have expected no less from the man who bathed in the blood of a thousand demons, but you forgot about all the powers I haven't told you of. And there are more."

Spittle and blood ran from the corner of his mouth and dripped down his chin. My control was beginning to slip with my fight for oxygen. The vines were snaking out on their own to force the demon back when he was suddenly ripped away from me.

I coughed and shook as I started breathing again. I rolled to my side bringing Sanzo's body into my direct line of sight. Goku's coronet lay on it's side against Sanzo's cheek and neck, discarded in haste. My heart sped up when I realized I would now have the demon leader and an awakened Goku to contend with. I gave myself a second longer to reestablish my breathing.

I arose on shaky legs and took in the fight before me. Goku was like a streak of colors across the cave. His movements went beyond any normal speed. His snarls and growls reverberated throughout the cave. His claws were ripping at the demon's flesh sending blood spraying in all directions. I took a few steps toward them but stopped when I could feel a change in Sanzo's chi. It wavered for a moment, almost going out completely before coming back. It was growing in strength. He groaned and made a slight movement then again went still. It wasn't much but relief flowed through my body.

The cave had begun to tremble. Goku and the leader were throwing each other around. When one would slam the other, the walls would shake sending small rocks tumbling to the ground. Goku was out of his mind. The entire cave was going to collapse on top of us and I knew he didn't care. I ran for the two of them and sent my vines along the ground. I wanted to try to help Goku but at the same time I needed to keep him focused on fighting the other demon. If I called too much attention to myself, he would turn on me.

My vines wrapped around the leader's legs and squeezed. He fell to his knees. Goku laughed that horrible gurgling laugh and twisted the demon's other arm back and up. The grinding pop of bones made my heart race with excitement. He was howling in pain and it was like music in my ears. I gathered my vines to me and jerked the demon onto his back. Goku was on top of him before I could draw another breath. The leaves were warm against my skin. I felt flushed and breathless in my enthusiasm. I wanted Goku to make him bleed, wished I could feel the blood as it rushed from his veins. I once again kept myself still. Goku was likely to make me bleed if I couldn't control myself.

Breathing rapidly, I stood there and watched the defeat of the demon leader who had caused us so much trouble. Skin was in shreds, blood in pools, and Goku was still battering away at the bastard. I couldn't really say I blamed him. My eyes were glazed over as I just stood there. Goku threw his head back and laughed into the darkening cave. My awareness came rushing back to me. I was going to be alone in the dark with Goku. The coming darkness signaled the oncoming death of the demon leader. There would no longer be anyone to act as a distraction.

Goku turned his head and stared quite blankly in my direction. My pulse sped up with knowledge at the impending fight. In the last flickering of light, I saw Goku grin. The sharp points of his teeth glittered as the lights went out completely. I had no time to think before he was on me.

I landed hard on the rocky ground, my head snapped backwards and jarred my entire body. I relinquished a little control and let my inner thoughts take the lead. I was going to rip Goku's throat out. I had asked that bastard to stay back and now here I was, body aching, blood everywhere, and needing to reign him in. Pissed off, I threw a fist at his face. The power behind it, pulled at my muscles and sent him backwards. I used all the speed I could muster and ran for the coronet.

The leaves were humming against my skin. Their warmth searing, urging me to turn and fight Goku, to taste his blood, to make him writhe in pain for my own personal enjoyment. I wanted more than anything at that moment to give in.

Gojyo, Gojyo, Gojyo...

I repeated his name over and over in my head. Unable to curb my thoughts, I was losing my mastery over them. I had been in this form for too long. I could feel Goku behind me. His laughter like gleeful growls. It made me want to kill him all the more.

I had just grabbed Goku's coronet when the lights returned. They weren't as bright as they had been earlier. This time it was more like a soft glow from a well made campfire. When I turned Goku was so close to me I could feel his breath on my face. His leg went out in a round kick and connected squarely with my shoulder. Bright bursts of pain exploded through my body. My vines whipped out and lashed at Goku cutting him along his arms, legs, and face. He took a step back in surprise before beginning another attack.

To my extreme annoyance the demon leader was once again laughing. I didn't even need his explanation, but of course, he was going to give it.

"I should just let the two of you kill each other."

The only good thing about his pompous speech was that Goku's attention was now focused elsewhere.

"Thought I was dead didn't you? Didn't think about the fact that I could heal myself if given a little time."

Supercilious bastard.

My control snapped. Goku's coronet fell from my hand and clattered to the ground as a roar escaped from my throat of it's own volition. I was ending this now.

Three things happened all at once that stopped me dead in my rush at the demon. A light as bright as the sun flashed and brightened the cave. Goku fell to his knees with a mad howling. From behind the scroll had awakened and begun extending beyond me, reaching out for the demon. I hesitated then spun on my heels to see Sanzo on his knees. His arm was outstretched, his first two fingers pointing in command of the scroll.

Goku was stumbling toward Sanzo. I was unsure if he was trying to stop him or if he was called to his sun by some deep inner voice. The scroll was wrapping itself around the demon leader. I fell to my knees too tired to care anymore. Everything was going to be all right. The demon's body exploded into tiny particles of light and was gone. Goku had fallen beside Sanzo. He had already reverted back to what we considered normal, the coronet safely in place atop his head. The scroll was flailing back to Sanzo as all the light disappeared. He fell face forward into the dirt, his body stretched out alongside Goku's.

Feeling as if I were drugged, I slowly replaced the three small cuffs on my ear. They were cool and stung me as they slid into place. I braced myself for the pain as my body reverted to it's human state. Everything ached and I was bleeding from numerous wounds. I remained kneeling on the hard earth. I was losing my awareness as the pain rolled over me in waves. We needed to get back to the inn, to find a doctor, and Hakaryuu was the only one who could do it.

When I called Hakaryuu's name it came out rough and whispery. He heard anyway. I knew he would. He landed gently on my shoulder and nuzzled my check in worry. I rubbed him under his chin and whispered reassurances.

"Do you think you could get us to safety my friend?"

"Kyuu, kyuu."

As he transformed I prayed the Jeep would fit through the corridor we had traversed earlier. I went to Gojyo first. Tears stung my eyes as I looked at his body so still on the cold ground. His neck was torn with bloody claw marks, his body a mass of bruises. He had fought hard and in the end, almost given himself to save me. I lifted him carefully and put him into the front seat. I was saving the back for Sanzo as he was in the worst condition of all of us.

Everything went black before my eyes as my body tried to give in to exhaustion. I pushed forward unwilling to give in. Sanzo...and Goku...

In the end, I'm unsure of how I managed to get us all into the Jeep and back to the safety of the inn. I only remember falling at the doorstep in the morning sun.