Chapter 25

Um nothing really to say… Enjoy!

Violet

He was watching me out the corner of his eye. And I was him. Now and again, we would lock eyes, and both blush and look away. Mentally, a voice in my mind screamed at me, questioned what I was doing. But the little voice didn't sound like me. so I ignored it, even when the volume increased, causing my head to ache, sharp stabbing pain between my eyes.

I was drawing, pencil etching lines onto the paper, framing his kind open face. I longed for oil pastels, to bring the essence of Will to this picture. But I made do. When I shyly offered it out to him, his reaction made my heart soar. The fact that he was so pleased with it made me ridiculously happy. It made me so happy I could make him happy. I felt like if I could only do this for the rest of my life, then it would be a life well spent. The voice chided, appealed, howled at me. It wanted me to turn away, to tell him I hate him again. and I just couldn't do that.

What about Danny? It asked, slyly. And I couldn't reply. Because what about Danny. I loved him. Didn't I?

The thought had me sitting bolt upright. I loved Danny. This was implanted deeply within me, into my core. So why did I care so much about this boy sitting next to me, so close our shoulders brushed with every movement? Every touch was like fire, blazing across my skin, however insignificant. It's because he's your soulfinder, a voice told me, a different one to the first. This one was softer, a part of me. Unlike the first, it felt like it was my mind. The first was strange, alien.

But he wasn't my soulfinder. Soulfinders brought hate, abandonment. Please don't let this boy be my soulfinder. Please. I couldn't live with that kind of pain again.

The rain was streaming down the window. It warped the outside world, turning the cosy home into a safe haven. It was strange how at home I felt in this house; something I had never felt in my home. I sat back, glancing around the room. All of the Benedicts were here, apart from the oldest, Trace and his wife Diamond, and the mother and father. The brother closest in age to Will kept glancing at me in curiosity, veiled intensity for knowledge. He had arrived shortly after Will had come back from the slopes, dripping wet, showing signs of the storm outside. Victor. The one whose work was so secret.

They took up so much space, these Benedicts. They were all so huge. Some used their size to intimidate, like the Victor, or Zed. Will however, was perfect. He wasn't too tall, even when he was towering over me. It was just so obvious he wouldn't hurt anyone. Danny, who was far surpassed in height compared to Will, was ten times more threatening. Even when he would tell you he loved you. Even when you replied.

Stop thinking about him. You mustn't. It's BAD. You are bad. Why do you do this to him? Stop thinking about it.

The sky outside was black, rolling clouds barely visible against the black. I looked at my watch, and smiled ruefully. It wasn't even four. Apparently the parents weren't going to make an appearance, claiming it was due to the weather. When this news was heard, it was received scornfully, comments of "making use of the time alone" and "trying to avoid us." I heard this, bewildered. If you had a loving family, why would you go out of your way to avoid them? I would spend every waking moment with them. But then again, it seemed that if you don't have something, you tend to want it, but if you have it, you don't seem to appreciate it. And I sure as hell didn't have love.

I looked up to see Will staring at me, worry plain across his face.
"You ok?" He asked tentatively. I nodded in response. Sky gasped a little exhalation. "Oh, you haven't changed since yesterday. I'm sorry!"
This comment was met by a growl from Zed, proclaiming his annoyance of Sky's apology.
"C'mon," she said, grabbing my hand.

I was led out of the room by the girl, barely reaching my height. Zed must have said something to her I didn't hear, because she stiffened, and spun on her heels.
"For God's sake Zed, it's not like she is going to hurt me, is it? Why the hell would I have to be careful? You really need to work on your trust issues."
And she turned back around, and stormed out of the room, dragging me behind her.

She led me up to a room on the far side of the house. Once there, she began pulling out pieces of clothing from a draw. I caught them as they flew towards me. she chattered as she assaulted me with flying pieces of clothing, "It's lucky you're my size. I mean, you are almost the exact same size as me. It's strange we never had a nice bonding over height complaints, with you in the same year and everything. About that, I wonder whether…" she trailed off, lost in thought.

Suddenly she broke out of her trance, turning to me. "Are you going to put those on?" she asked pointedly. I blushed, and shook out the top and jeans I had in my arms. She chattered on as she wandered around the bedroom. It was comforting, listening to her meaningless talk. She was talking because she wanted to, not because she felt obliged, or had something vital to say.

I smiled absentmindedly, and pulled the dress over my head. A twinge of pain echoed in my ribcage with the movement. A sharp gasp burst through Sky's lips, and I turned to Sky, worried. Had I done something wrong? A voice rang through my head, painfully familiar. Oh God. Oh my God. She was staring at my uncovered body, shock written across her face. Her hand was at her mouth, and her eyes were wide, horrified.

Zed burst into the room, rushing to Sky. I held up the clothes I had in my hands, attempting to shield myself from him. Without effect. Following him, his brothers all ran into the room. They all formed what seemed to barrier against me.
Zed was asking Sky whether she was ok, what I had done to her, but the question died on his lips. Everyone was staring at me, their expressions mirroring Sky's.

I followed their gaze. My body was discoloured, varying shades of purple, black and green. My ribs were a violent shade of purple, swollen and tender. So that was the pain. Bruises traced themselves down my arms, echoes of my father's and Danny's anger. Bruises encircled my wrists, handprints in green ink. My legs and waist were the same, trails of pain swirled over my body. I stared at the marks, sickly fascinated. I would do it in water-colour, to show the ever-changing nature of the body. They were skin deep, splattered across my skin. I would show the bruises leading up, obscured by underwear…

I realised with a horrified shock that I was standing in the middle of Sky Bright's and possibly Zed's bedroom, with six boys and a couple of girls staring at me. In my underwear. My face flushed, and I backed away. Will raised his eyes to mine.
"Who did that to you?" His voice was filled with revulsion.
"Please… don't… I can't-"

Sky spoke from her position behind the huge boys, "Right, everyone-Out. We'll talk about this in a moment, when Violet's changed. We need to have a conversation, about everything."

The boys murmured their assent, and walked out the door, glancing backwards. I felt that there was a hidden message in her words, unseen by me. I quickly changed, and followed the now silent Sky downstairs. I felt sick. Nothing was ever going to be the same. They had seen my deepest, most shameful secret. I couldn't hide it anymore. And in the back of my mind, I wondered why it bothered me so much that Will was going to hate me now. Now that he knew I was evil.