If someone had asked Raphael Jones to draw a Prince Charming when he was a child, he would have drawn exactly what he had before him. Elegant and mysterious and with an impenetrable blue-steel gaze, Leo stood in the midst of a crowd, without glancing at anyone. Leonardo looked so beautiful in his impeccable tuxedo and seemed to be waiting his Cinderella. Raphael bit his lip, his heart still aching. Volunteering at April's fundraising party may not have been a good idea. Not the day after the match when Raph seemed to still feel the warmth of his opponent's body against his own. He always seemed to hear Leo's possessive voice in his ears. He shuddered at the memory. Feeling Leo's erection against his thigh and hearing his words demanding his surrender, had caused Raphael to lose his cool rather quickly. So, he'd left the ring as fast as possible before Leo, who was so clever, discovered that his indifference was only a facade.
Raph had worked too hard to reassemble the pieces of his being to allow the son of a bitch to put him back under his control.
Ma had also worked very hard. Seeing her baby so desperate and probably afraid that he'd take the gun as soon as her back was turned, she'd decided that Raph would live with her. He'd tried to object, but he didn't have the strength to resist for long. She'd called Casey and negotiated with the the owner, giving him the two months' rent, so that he agreed to the lease-break. Casey, April and two other friends had only taken an afternoon to pack Raph's belongings and store them in Ma's basement. During this time, Ma had spent the afternoon, Raph's head on her lap, stroking his black braided hair. After singing soothingly while he sobbed, she told him that in a crisis she changed hair styles or her color and that maybe Raph could do the same thing and call Xever. Raph wasn't the mood to try anything and she hadn't insisted.
After four days of not shaving, he decided on his new style. April and Ma, enthusiastic, had told him that it was so good that he had kept it. He didn't see the point of being good-looking if Leo couldn't see him, because he didn't care what others thoughts and had no intention of looking for another boyfriend. It wasn't out of loyalty to the motherfucker, but because, he had no love to give to someone outside of Ma, Casey and April right now. He wasn't ready.
Then, one evening, April had returned with a box, which contained an adorable Siamese kitten. Ma was ecstatic, worshiping the animal, just like Raph himself and the plaintive meowings of the little beast told him that it wanted to get out of the box. The almond-blue eyes that stared at him reminded him of his beloved and cruel lover. The kitten wasn't responsible for having the same mysterious look as an asshole, so Raphael took it in his arms. April explained that it was a female, while the kitten climbed on his shoulder, like a fucking parrot on a pirate, wanting to explore and having nothing to do to remain on Raphael's lap and scratching him Raphael burst out laughing, which warmed everyone's hearts. "I love her. Thank ya, April," Raph said, as the kitten nibbled on his fingers playfully.
"What are you going to call her?" Ma asked and Raph thought for a moment. He didn't want anything that was Asian or blue. Finally, trying to stare at the animal, who was trying to bite his nose, he decided on Cherry.
Cherry had another point in common with Leo. In addition to his gorgeous eyes, her predilection to claw him and to leave bloody marks, she prevented him from sleeping, wanting to play all the time. Cherry was possessive as hell too, touching everything of Raphael's, so her smell was on it and she demanded his constant attention.
A few days after Cherry's arrival, Ma stopped watching over Raphael so much, giving him a bit more space. She suggested that he go to a therapist and he agreed. The therapist had been good for Raph, but after three appointments, he thought himself well enough to only go once a month. He went to see Angel at the fire station, telling her everything and he saw a doctor again. He was advised to restart quietly to have responsibilities and a stable schedule and the doctor suggested volunteering. Raphael knew he looked like a criminal or at best a bad boy, so there were few places he could volunteer. April, then, uncertain, suggested the museum. The director of curators, meaning Hazel Hamato, would certainly accept him as a volunteer. Her evening of fundraising approached. 600 guests were expected and on other days there weren't too many visitors to the museum. Casey was opposed. Putting Raphael and the bastard wife, who'd caused his brother to lose his mind in the same building wasn't a good idea, he said. Ma had remained silent, waiting for Raph's decision.
Raphael had argued that the confrontation would help him to better accept his breakup and the next day, accompanied by his sister-in-law, he had introduced himself as a firefighter of 9/11. He'd finally been able to see his rival up close. She wasn't as pretty close up. He could see that she looked exhausted, had lines under her eyes, and looked older than he'd thought. Perhaps it was only due to pregnancy, he said to himself. April had admitted that the director had confirmed her pregnancy, which had aroused great joy at the museum. Hazel's efforts to become pregnant were well known.
Raph's job was to direct the museum visitors, who were lost. Hazel explained that because she was pregnant, she was too tired to visit the museum, but that April would. Raphael had gnashed his teeth, imagining his lover's seed planted in the belly before him. The worst thing was that the conception had taken place on the same day that Leo had extracted cries of pleasure from him. He thought with rage that if he'd had the misfortune to be a woman, he might be pregnant at the same time as Hazel and have a little bastard with the same birthday as the legitimate child. Leo was such an asshole. Poor woman. He almost felt pity for her.
She also gave him a sheet of paper on his desk, to fill up his coordinates and another detailing his plans of the evening of December was. Raphael took the piece of paper and his heart skipped a beat when he saw his ex-lover's name. "6: 30 p.m. Speech by Leonardo Hamato, deputy inspector of 70th precinct."
He couldn't back down. Hazel explained that she needed all her volunteers that night to prepare the Beaux- Arts Room on the third floor, laying the tables and setting out the chairs for the guests. The dinner consisted of five courses and the first course was after Leo's speech at 7 p.m. After dessert and coffee, there was a ball and Hazel needed volunteers until 2 a.m. Raphael had nodded, his heart pounding, inwardly thinking that he was going to see his lover after two weeks of cold turkey. He wondered what it would do to him.
For the last two weeks, he'd been trying not think about Leo, not even masturbating, so Leo's image wouldn't come to his mind. Anyway, he could only masturbate in the showers, because if he tried in bed, Cherry wanted to attack him.
After his day at the museum, he'd asked his mother to lend him her car to go to the gym, but he'd made a detour and had parked his car diagonally across from Leo's house. By chance, his former boyfriend was outside, setting up the Christmas lights and Raphael was overcome with emotion. He couldn't see his face, but even from afar, he was affected by his silhouette. He wondered what his future with Leo could have been, imagining helping his boyfriend decorate for the holidays. It wasn't a good state of mind, but he couldn't help it. Whether he liked it or not, he was still madly in love with the jerk. It was then that Hazel exited the house, breaking the spell. She said something to her husband, who climbed down the ladder. She kissed him and Raph screamed inwardly. Then she took Leo by the hand, making him go inside and two minutes later, Raphael saw Leo close his bedroom's curtains. Raphael knew what it meant and, blinded with rage and jealousy, he'd left so far, causing the tires to screech, to the gym to let off his steam.
A few days later, he'd heard people discussing Leo at the gym. The gym boss said that nine people were enrolled at the moment, but the amputee couldn't participate. The black man had seen red and, furiously, he'd argued that Leo could kick everyone's ass at the gym without breaking into a sweat. He'd angrily claimed that the policeman had lost an arm by being brave and saving more lives than anyone at the gym. He added that despite Leo's misfortune, he still worked and trained harder than anyone else. Raph was so impressive in his wild vehemence that the boss had therefore proposed that they face one another in a match. Raphael was silent. The idea of beating Leo, even without really hurting him didn't please him. But he thought jealously of the closed curtains and he agreed.
It had been a bad idea.
He had said nothing more to his family than it was on the night of the gym tournament, as at all the months of December since the last years. Nervous, he'd engaged in conversation with the first participant on his way to the locker room to help him keep his composure when he saw Leo. For a long time during the solitary nights, he'd imagined them meeting again, but he would never have believed that Leo would have the audacity to be jealous of a scratch on his back. It was Cherry's fault, but Raph was so happy about getting revenge, he let his ex believe that he did have a new passionate lover. Leo's face was dark in rage, his blue eyes flashing jealousy and Raphael would have almost purred in satisfaction, like his kitten, who was the only body curled up against his at night, while Leo had his wife.
In the ring, he'd tried not to be distracted by his opponent's perfectly sculpted torso. He had noticed blue steel eyes lingering on his tattoo, burning with satisfaction to see it intact. Casey had wanted him to erase the part about love. Raph, reluctant, had accepted, but the tattooist had explained that it was difficult on black skin and it was better if Raph covered it with another tattoo. Raph had pretended that he needed time to think about a new tatt. Leonardo, likewise, hadn't touched his. Leonardo in the locker room, had also said he loved him, but Raphael didn't want to think about it. He didn't want to be hurt all over again and trust the cheater.
He had endeavored to fight convincingly, but without excessive brutality. Leo was an astonishing opponent. Raph, satisfied, told himself that after such a performance, his ex-lover would no longer be treated like a handicapped person. Then, his eyes had followed a trail of sweat on the sexy body in front of him and he found himself pinned on the mat.
The warmth of Leo's body, pressed against his, made the pain of his shoulder almost delightful. "Say it. You are mine" and Raphael had almost moaned in submission. How he could be so ignited by the dominant and bold attitude of his ex, he couldn't understand. Leo had a unique way of getting what he wanted from him without even trying. He was still Leo's loyal puppy and he hated it.
He had tried to repel Leo, telling him the truth, but in a nasty way. He had given up and had almost run to the locker room from the dangerous situation he was in. He hadn't even turned around, showered or dressed. All he'd done was grab his coat, and leave in Ma's car for home. He could use his defeat like an alibi to lock himself in his room, thinking over and over about Leo and what he looked like. No longer able to maintain his self-control, he put Cherry out of his room and enjoyed an overdue manual relief, feeling with each wrist movement, his aching shoulder and he visualized what might have happened if they hadn't been in public. Leonardo would no doubt have wanted to claim his rights over him, fucking him mercilessly on the ring mat. Just when he imagined Leo biting his collarbone, as payback for the scratch, he came violently.
Panting heavily, he realized he was in deep, because he was still so in love and he had to face his obsession tomorrow night again, accompanied by his pregnant wife.
And there he was, hidden behind a door. He wanted to listen to Leo's speech and, having finished preparing the reception room, he was free to go home and return only after midnight, but wanting to listen to what Leo had to say about that day, he stayed. For the moment, his ex-lover seemed lost in his mind, far away from the crowd, holding a glass in his fake hand, but without having brought it to his lips yet. Leo was so gorgeous, so breathtaking that Raph bit his hand hard, so that he didn't sob like a teenage girl at a Backstreet Boy concert or run to him.
It was finally time for the speech and Hazel introduced her husband. Leo climbed onto the small stage, which Raph himself had installed earlier and began. He recounted the day with precision and Raphael remained breathless, as he heard the so vivid evocations He and Leo had never talked so much about it, only their nightmares and not at all since November. Leo's narrative was so touching that several women wept. Raph himself was crying until he saw Leo's brother in the room. Raph stiffened. The doctor could not see him.
Leo was at the conclusion, doubtless trembling like Raph was. The voice until then had been firm. Now it cracked with emotion. "That day, I learned how much is taken for granted. I lost an arm, but I realized that I could have died without having experienced what I wanted. So, even if it's advice you've already heard, do whatever you want. If your job doesn't make you happy, resign. If your partner doesn't make you happy, divorce. If you love someone in secret, tell him. Life is too short for regrets. If you have the right lover, cherish him and tell him that you love him every day! I lost my arm, but that's not what I regret most."
Raph's heart was pounding, while in a thunderous applause, Leo, indifferent to the crowd, climbed down from the platform. Leo was unaware of Raphael's presence and perhaps the latter was mistaken, his weak will wanting to give meaning to Leo's words, which in reality they didn't have, but he had the impression that Leo, in front of his wife, his brother and the crowd, had claimed to regret his lover more than anything.
Refusing to hope, Raphael watched Leo's movements. Leo didn't stay with his wife, at least not very close, never touching her and when she went away didn't look for her either. He knew that if he'd accompanied Leo, Leo would have tracked him down, being too possessive.
And suddenly he was shocked. The rat in the lab coat, was standing next to Leo's wife and Raph drew back quickly, so they wouldn't see him, but Raphael had had time to see something. He had often wondered how Leonardo and his brother could be so different. They were the same height, but didn't the look physically or act the same. All they had in common was their cleverness and being work alcoholics. But Raphael saw that Donnie looked at Hazel the same way that Leo looked at Raphael.
He'd seen too much worship in his almond eyes to be mistaken. He looked again and was stunned, as Donnie touched the wife's belly and the gesture seemed too intimate to Raphael to be trivial. Could it be that ...? Raph was certain that Leo had never fertilized his wife for years. The miraculous pregnancy came when Leo wanted to divorce. In the weeks before, while Leo had often been with his lover, he hadn't been with his wife. Donatello seemed adamant that he wanted Leo to remain with Hazel, although he was obviously in love with the woman. Perhaps, he'd slept with her, pretending to be helping his brother and assuring Hazel that being the little one's uncles, a resemblance between them wouldn't be strange. Leo, the great cheater, had been deceived and played.
And if Raph could prove it to Leo, his lover would come back.
Unnerved, he thought about how he could convince his former boyfriend, so certain of his wife's fidelity. Then he thought about her cell phone. Perhaps he could find evidence on it. Knowing that if he got caught, it could put him in a very bad situation, he went into the staff room. Hazel's beige coat was there and Raph had talked enough with the museum's security guard during his breaks to find out that there was no camera. In the coat's pocket, he found the Nokia phone. He quickly left, went outside, without looking at the falling snow and got into his car to read the messages.
It took him nearly 30 minutes to read all of Hazel's messages, along with her husband and brother-in-law. He now knew the date of the conception of Hazel's baby. It was the day of her return from Washington and when Leo hadn't wanted her. He'd returned to Raph's and found him at Dusty's. Hazel had written to Donatello and he'd gone to console her. The next day, the doctor had written, "I am sure that we succeeded yesterday. When Leo knows of your pregnancy, he will become himself again. You can go with me to my father. I will not touch you. Yesterday was only to help you. You're a wonderful wife for my brother and I want you to stay together no matter what the price. "
Hazel had replied, "He must never know. I don't know what his reaction would be. I feel like I don't know him anymore." The doctor replied that he had a prescription for a traumatized Leo, so he will be ok. And dozens of text messages, all compromising, followed. Donnie confirmed being the father after having a blood test done, but he'd assured her he was content to just be a loving uncle. Raph doubted it, because the doctor, so sarcastic, was far too gentle and sweet with his lover's wife.
Excited, wondering what his lover was going to do now, maybe kicking out his wife to get him in, he went out with the cell phone to confront Leonardo. He looked for his lover, not seeing him in the room, unable to enter because he hadn't paid the $ 250 admittance fee. The policeman, who seemed bored, must have left. Raph was wondering if he should join Leo at home, since Hazel would probably stay here, when Donatello, dressed in a tuxedo, came out of the room with his phone in his hand. Raph didn't have time to turn around, as the cell phone in his pocket, rang. The doctor quickly raised his head and looked so shocked that if Raph hadn't known he needed to run, as if his life depended on it, he would have laughed.
That's what Raph did. He ran, as fast as he could.