My Life: Dodge, Duck, Dip, Dive, and Dodge
"5, 4, 3, 2, 1, okay Hoffman, you have to drop the ball." Amanda jeered.
"What? Why?" Hoffman protectively clutched a Hello Kitty bouncy ball to his chest.
"The 30 second rule." Amanda reminded him. "You can't hold onto a ball for longer than 30 seconds."
Hoffman pouted, dropped the ball, and watched it roll to the other team.
Izzy cheered and snapped it up. "My Hello Kitty ball!" She pelted the ball and it hit a dejected Hoffman in the arm.
"I miss it already…" He whined, sitting down on the sidelines next to John, who was the official judge in the spontaneous Young-Kramer dodgeball match. It was Team Muffin (Zep and Hoffman) versus Team Girl Power (Izzy and Amanda).
"Looks like Zep is the last one in." Amanda said with a mischievous grin. She picked up a small green ball and bounced it on the grass.
Zep gulped and backed as far away as he could from the line of sticks that separated the two teams. He stopped as he reached the sticks that ended the court and picked up a nearby ball to defend himself with.
Izzy snatched the ball from Amanda and chucked it at Zep, who was hit in the face.
"That's a headshot!" John shouted, and then pointed at Izzy. "You're out."
Izzy groaned and sat down. Now, it was all Amanda and Zep.
Amanda leaned over and picked up a ball. Zep mirrored her movement, both of them not taking their eyes off of each other. When Amanda wound up to throw the ball, Zep did the same and they both ended up throwing them at the same time. But Amanda was quicker and managed to jump out of the way, unlike Zep, who got hit in the chest and didn't catch it in time.
"And that's the game!" John announced as Izzy leapt to her feet and cheered.
"Why do the girls always win?" Hoffman whined.
"We're girls." Amanda explained. "Naturally, we kick ass."
"I've noticed. " Zep groaned, sitting down next to Izzy.
"Y'know, if we had more people on our team, then maybe we could actually win." Hoffman said to Amanda. "After all, there are more men in our family than women."
"But then it would be unfair." John interjected, waving his hand like a referee with a flag on a play. "The least we could do is give the girls some extra players."
"Why don't we do it then?" Zep suggested, standing up and facing John. "A big dodgeball match. Maybe invite some friends too."
"So let's see, we can invite Adam, Lawrence, and Jill, who else?" John asked.
"Amy." Hoffman said loudly. "Definitely Amy." He sighed happily and stared off into space for a moment before snapping back to reality.
"I could get some of my school friends. Kayla, Michelle, Cory, Lindsey, Trina, Lydia, Alec…" Izzy counted her friends on her fingers. "And we could invite Rocky too. I haven't seen him in a while."
John tapped his chin. "Mmm, not Alec. Too dangerous after that trap. And if we invite Rocky, then we should probably invite Strahm and Perez too."
"Don't forget Alison and Diana. They probably don't hate me that much…" Zep added with a laugh.
Izzy bit her lower lip and nodded. "So how will we divide up into teams?"
"Two team captains. They pick. Simple enough for everyone including Hoffman." John shrugged.
Hoffman looked up with a blank expression on his face. "But I don't get it. What does the team captain pick again?"
"Amy must be one of those 'brawn over brains' type of girls." Zep rolled his eyes, but then cringed as Hoffman tripped over his foot. "I take that back. Maybe she just feels bad for him."
About two days later, everyone sat cross-legged in front of John.
"There will be two team captains that will be picked randomly out of this hat. Everyone's name is in this hat except for Hoffman and me, so everyone has a fair chance." John announced.
"Why not me?" Hoffman whined.
Zep turned towards him. "You can't count to five."
"One, two, three, four…uh, seven, sixty-twelve…" Hoffman stared into space.
John ignored Hoffman's stupidity and reached into the hat. "First team captain is Adam!"
Adam fist-pumped Lawrence and cheered.
"Next name is…Zep!" John pointed at Zep who smiled. "You can pick first."
Zep stood up, looked around and laughed. "Do I even have to say who?"
Hoffman raised his hand. "I know you're picking me." He said sarcastically, and then nudged Izzy forward. "Get up there, Iz."
Izzy rolled her eyes and stood next to Zep, laying her head on his shoulder. Everyone 'awwww'ed. Zep's face turned red.
"And my first choice is obviously Larry!" Adam took Larry's hand and they both stood up. Everyone 'awwww'ed.
Zep picked Lydia next, per request by Izzy. Adam then picked Hoffman. Zep ended up also picking Rocky, Perez, and Kayla. Adam picked Strahm, Amanda, and Michelle. Next to be picked were Diana, Trina, Allison, Lindsey, Cory, and last was Jill. Before the game began, the two teams had a meeting.
"We need a strategy." Zep said to his team, pacing back and forth.
"Dodge, duck, dip, dive, and…uhm…dodge?" Izzy suggested. [1]
"It works for now." Zep shrugged.
"We don't have anything better." Perez said, shaking her head.
"Other than let's go out and kick ass!" Lydia cheered, pumping her fist in the air.
The other team had some better ideas.
"I know a handful of great dodgeball tactics. They should help us." Amanda offered.
"How do you know them?" Strahm asked.
Amanda shot a look at Strahm. "Trust me. If I wanted to, I could kill you with a dodgeball."
Strahm squeaked in fear and hid his face.
Within five minutes, the teams met up on the 'court'.
"You should all know the rules of dodgeball. I shouldn't have to explain them. Now, captains, please shake hands." John ordered.
Adam extended his hand, and Zep warily shook it, staring Adam down.
"Please back up to your starting positions." The two teams did so. "On your marks, get set, dodgeball!" John shouted. Immediately, the two teams dashed for the dodgeballs in the middle of the court, and Adam's team seemed to get control of most of them first.
"Not playing, eh?" John asked Amy, who was sitting on the sidelines and holding a muffin.
"Well somebody has to be the cheerleader, right?" She replied.
The first person to get out, no surprise, was Hoffman. "I'm sorry Amy, I failed you."
"Well now that you're on the sidelines, you can spend more time with me." She grabbed his hand and smiled.
Strahm was next, followed by Lydia, Perez, Diana, and Amanda.
"Shit…hit by my own daughter." She cursed under her breath as Izzy cheered.
Adam leaped into the air and caught a ball. He landed on his knees and immediately motioned for Amanda to come back in as Kayla sulked over to the sidelines.
Zep was the first captain to get out as Larry hit him in the leg. Izzy got really pissed.
"Did you really just get Zep out?" She asked, putting her hands on her hips.
"Yeah, why?" Larry asked, trying not to laugh.
Izzy smirked and began to sing. "Let me tell you something mister…" [2] She was interrupted by Michelle hitting her in the head with a ball.
"Headshot!" John and Amy shouted, pointing at Michelle.
"I really hate it when you sing songs from that stupid 'Teens in Hollywood' show or whatever it's called." Michelle mumbled, and then stuck her tongue out at Izzy.
"Teens in Tinseltown, Michelle." Izzy rolled her eyes and hit Lindsey in the shoulder.
Allison caught a ball and brought, no surprise here, Diana back in. Cory caught another and brought Zep back in. This got Larry and Jill out.
Adam's team had Adam, Amanda, and Trina left on the field. Zep's team had Zep, Izzy, Rocky, Allison, and Cory until Amanda pelted a ball towards Rocky, who wasn't paying attention.
"Move the hell out of the ball's path!" Izzy shouted, running towards him and getting hit.
Rocky looked up. "What just happened?" Izzy was lying on the ground and looking up at him, the ball lying idly next to her foot. "Did you get hit?"
"Yeah. I got hit for you." Izzy got up, smiled at him sweetly and headed towards the sidelines.
Diana and Allison quickly got hit by Adam within the next couple of seconds, turning the game into a three-on-three.
Cory and Trina, being friends, threw balls at each other and missed about twenty times before they finally hit each other.
The final four on the field were Zep, Rocky, Adam, and Amanda.
"We don't stand a chance…" Rocky muttered.
Adam chucked two unsuccessful balls at the two remaining members of the opposing team and cursed under his breath. The main reason was probably Amy, Izzy, and Lindsey doing some stupid cheer on the sidelines.
"Brusha brusha brusha! Get the new Ipana! With the brand new flavor, it's dandy for your teeth! Brusha brusha brusha, new Ipana toothpaste! Brusha brusha brusha-" [3]
"Do you guys really have to do that right now?" Zep asked, looking at the three teenagers.
"It's better than singing Teens in Tinseltown." Izzy nodded, crossing her arms. Amy and Lindsey laughed in agreement.
"Can you guys please-" Zep was cut off when he was hit in the head pretty hard with a ball thrown by Adam.
"That's a headshot!" John shouted.
Adam sulked off the field. "Damnit…"
"Zep!" Izzy screeched, running onto the field.
Zep looked up at Izzy. "I'm fine, relax." That clearly didn't stop her from giving him a death hug. "Or you could do that…" He gasped.
"Sorry." Izzy mumbled, heading back to the sidelines.
"Hey, I don't get a hug?" Rocky asked, but was then hit by Amanda with a ball.
Kayla laughed. "After getting hit by Izzy's mom, I think he deserves one."
Izzy shrugged and hugged him as they walked over to the sidelines. Zep and Amanda were the only ones on the field, but it ended up being rather anticlimactic when Zep was hit in the shoulder after being distracted by a shiny object.
"And that's how you dodge, duck, dip, dive, and dodge." Amanda gloated as her team rushed out to congratulate her.
"Sorry that happened." Izzy comforted Zep.
Zep smiled and threw an arm around Izzy. "Thanks."
Over with the other team, Amy was congratulating Hoffman. "You were amazing!"
"I was the first to get out." Hoffman smirked.
Amy laughed and kissed him on the cheek, which made his face turn red. "Thanks."
[1] Ah, dodgeball. The movie that inspired this chapter.
[2] TEENS. IN. TINSELTOWN. FTW. I MISS YOU ALL
[3] Best part of Grease ever! I miss everyone from Grease too times 100000000!
A/N: Everyone go 'awwww'!