Would You Rather

After Breakfast:

Spence: Okay, someone talk to me, I'm bored.

Nikki: Told ya.

Clay: What do you want to do?

Aiden: We can play a game.

Ashley: How about would you rather?

Glen: Okay, I got one. Would you rather sleep in on Saturday or have Clay wake you up so early the sun is barely up?

Spence: That's not a good question. We already know everyone but Clay would rather be asleep.

Ashley: Okay, would you rather sky dive or swim with sharks?

Glen: Sky dive.

Nikki: Swim with sharks.

Clay: Swim with sharks.

Aiden: Sky dive.

Spence: I would rather sky dive in into shark infested waters.

Aiden: What?

Spence: I said I would rather sky dive into shark infested waters because that way I could sky dive and swim with sharks.

Glen: Oooookay. Would you rather poke out your own eyes or drive spikes through your kneecaps?

Nikki: I don't think I could live without being able to see so spike through the kneecaps.

Ashley: Definitely agree, I need my eyesight.

Clay: Having to learn Braille would set back my education so I'm going with spikes through kneecaps.

Aiden: Well if I drove spikes through my kneecaps I couldn't play basketball anymore and if I poke my eyes out I would have to learn to play basketball with one of those beeping things.

Nikki: So you would rather...

Aiden: I would rather drive spikes through my knees because it would be easier to play from a wheelchair than if I couldn't see.

Ashley: What about you Spencer?

Spence: I would rather do one eye and one knee.

Aiden: Why?

Spence: because then I could get a peg leg, an eye patch, a parrot, and become a pirate.

Nikki: Oh, never mind, I want to do that.

Spence: Okay, Nikki can do it with me and together we can fulfill Lucy Diamond's childhood dream.

Ashley: You two know that you don't have to have any of those to become pirates, right?

Spence: Of course we know, it's just more fun if we have them.

Nikki: Plus we were playing would you rather so what she said works. If she just said eyes she would have two eye patches and that just wouldn't look right. If she had said knees that wouldn't work either because I don't think you can really walk with two peg legs.

Spence: Now if we just wanted to become pirates and our eyes and legs are perfectly fine we would just dress like slutty pirate women, if they existed anyway.

Aiden: What do you mean if they existed?

Nikki: Have you ever watched Pirates of the Caribbean?

Aiden: Of course I have, I just don't know what it has to do with this conversation.

Spence: Traditional pirates thought women on ships were bad luck. It says so at the beginning on the first movie.

Aiden: But they have woman on ships all the time in movies.

Nikki: This is reality, not a movie.

Glen: Why would you want to be pirates anyway?

Spence: Because they get a lot of booty.

Ashley: Hahaha.

Aiden: What's so funny about them liking treasure?

Nikki: You're not very smart, are you?

Aiden: Of course I am. What would make you think I'm not?

Nikki: Oh, nothing, nothing at all.

Spence: Lets go back to playing would you rather.

Nikki: Okay, would you rather gnaw off your hand or become a nun slash priest?

Spence: Gnaw off my hand, definitely.

Glen: I got to go with little sis on this one.

Clay: A unanimous sibling reply.

Aiden: What does that mean?

Clay: It means I would choose to gnaw off my hand.

Aiden: Oh.

Ashley: Nun.

Nikki: Really?!

Ashley: Of course not, I'd rather gnaw off my hand.

Aiden: I couldn't live without my hand so I would rather be a priest.

Glen: You couldn't live without your hand but You could live without sex?

Aiden: What? The question said nothing about living without sex.

Nikki: I told you he wasn't very smart.

Aiden: I am smart.

Nikki: If you were smart you would most likely know that priests take a vow of celibacy.

Aiden: A what?

Ashley: A vow not to have sex.

Aiden: I'm changing my answer.

Spence: You can't.

Aiden: Ashley got to change hers.

Ashley: Yeah, but I wasn't serious about my first answer, you were.

Nikki: Now that I've thought about it, maybe he isn't as dumb as I first thought.

Aiden: Thank you.

Nikki: He's just a little smarter because if he was as dumb as I first thought he would have answered that he would rather be a nun than a priest.

Aiden: Why couldn't I be a nun?

Nikki: Never mind, he's an idiot.