I have no excuse. I'm so sorry to make everyone think I bailed on this story. But, to be honest, I thought about it every day. But my depression and other things always got in the way to actually stop me from taking the time to actually write out the story. But... I missed the reviews. I missed my reviewers. I missed my writing. So, please forgive me for such a long wait. I'm not going to make any promises about update times, but I CAN promise that I will actively try for better than a year gap. I love you all. Thank you for bearing with me. Please enjoy this chapter that I wrote to get the ball rolling to Destination Number Four!
Chapter 25
The train ride to our next destination had been wretched, to say the least. While Natsu did his usual motion-sickness bit, I thought the free time would make nice for some quality writing. Unfortunately, I couldn't seem to focus enough to manage it, though. Natsu's sounds of misery were much too distracting, though not quite as distracting as my brain seemed to be on its own. It was like someone had plugged a live-wire into it, making it impossible to shut off the flow of thoughts, worries, memories... Pretty much everything that had and was happening with our job kept flying around inside my head, and I couldn't turn the damn thing off!
Things had seemed to cool down between Natsu and me a bit, his motion-sickness being the largest reason. I also had tried to go back to my determination of not letting the two of us get too close. I didn't think there was anything in the world that I wanted more than the handsome dragon slayer, but our mission was too dangerous. I wasn't going to lie to myself. I wasn't the strongest nor the most resilient mage, and with the way the mission was going so far, there was a strong chance I might bite the dust. Which would only hurt Natsu.
There was no way I could do that to him.
Sighing as the conductor announced the next stop in a place called Frozen Altar, I began the grueling process of gathering our things, knowing Natsu would be useless until we were off the train. Though it was nice and cozy warm in our cabin, the outside looked much more formidable than I had ever seen. I couldn't accurately measure how much snow there was, but if the tunnel made entirely of snow was any indication, I knew the temperature outside was low enough to freeze a normal human to death within a few hours. Natsu would be fine, but how was I supposed to last in those conditions? Maybe Natsu was right. Maybe I shouldn't have come along.
Sighing once more when the train came to a stop, I grabbed Natsu by the shoulder and shook him violently. "Natsu, we're here. Come on."
Natsu groaned at me, still a horrible shade of green but still a far cry better than when the train had been moving. "Oh thank Mavis," he moaned out pitifully, dragging himself to his feet. "I was going to die. Luce, why did you do that to meee?"
"Oh, hush," I scoffed, grabbing my bag while Natsu grabbed his, letting it drag the ground in his weak state. "If you'd look outside, I'm sure you'd see why I'm glad we did."
Natsu and I got off the train, the cold air hitting me like a sack of bricks. I was already wearing two very thick snow jackets as well as fur-lined snow-pants and boots, but the chill in the air was still unlike anything I had ever experienced before.
"Fuck!" I swore out loudly, immediately drawing my arms around myself as I got very offended glances from onlookers. My face already felt numb, and the cold was slowly but surely seeping through my thick gloves. The hood of my second jacket only served to block the wind coming from behind me.
At my obvious distress, Natsu immediately leaped beside me, wrapping an arm around my shoulder and heating himself up several degrees. The relief was almost instant, but I had kind of expected that scenario.
"Th-thanks, Natsu," I said, calming my chattering teeth. "B-but I can't keep letting you expend magic f-for weeks just t-to m – "
His green face almost completely diminished by that point, he just smiled and cut me off. "I know, Luce. Come on."
With that, Natsu slung his pack onto his back and steered me out of the almost miniature train station, only to be met with the tiniest town I had ever seen. Natsu never released his hold on me, which I wanted to protest but couldn't if I didn't want to be turned into a human popsicle. Guiding me down the narrow street a short ways, Natsu finally stopped us at a small little inn. Rushing me inside first, I could feel the immediate relief of the magically heated establishment.
"We need a room – " he started but I cut him off and finished for him with a slight stutter.
"T-two beds, please." I used my hair to hide my face from Natsu, who I was sure had a confused and possibly hurt expression glossing over his features at that moment.
"Certainly," the withered old man behind the desk replied, looking around for only a moment before handing us a key with the room number engraved in it.
Natsu, who I was avoiding eye contact with at all cost, wasted no time and ushered me upstairs to our rather plain room, the two full-size beds separated by about four feet and a nightstand in-between. Letting his pack just drop to the floor with little care, Natsu rounded on me, his dark and somewhat hurt expression making me almost regret blurting out the need for two separate beds. "What the hell was that about?" he spouted, gesturing in general to the two beds. "Luce, if sleeping in the same bed together made you uncomfortable, you should have said so. I can't believe I've been forcing you to – " The tone of his voice was almost pleading, strained. He genuinely was at a loss, and that thought alone made my chest hurt, so I instantly cut him off.
"Natsu, it's not like that," I said in an almost panicked tone, trying to keep an oncoming tremor out of my voice. I never wanted him to think that he made me uncomfortable, ever. I never wanted him to think that I thought nothing less than the world of him. My throat felt tight with emotion. Christ, did trying to put a little distance between the two of us have to hurt so bad? Was it normal to hurt so bad? Looking down at the floor to continue avoiding his burning gaze, I said softly, "I... I guess I should have warned you first about the sleeping arrangements, but... remember that we agreed to put a hold on... us?" I asked, gesturing between him and me. "Well, I thought you might have known I also meant... Well, I just... I don't think I have the strength to hold our agreement if we sleep... that close... All the time... I... I can't be... I don't trust myself in such a vulnerable position, with you right next to me. Just looking at you does things to me sometimes. And you told me yourself, Natsu! Dragons mate for life. We can't just... do that on a whim." Tears pricked my eyes as I heard myself talk in circles, but my thoughts were jumbled and I was hurt that he was hurt and it was my fault and –
"Luce!" Natsu finally said loudly over me, pulling a squeak from me as I stopped my ramble. Finally looking him in the eye for the first time since we entered town, I could feel the guilt and regret swimming behind the tears in my eyes and I was sure he could see it. His body noticeably relaxed, and like stigmata, mine finally seemed to relax a bit as well. Softly, he said, "I'm not mad or upset, Lucy. If this is what you think we need to do, then that's what we'll do. I told you. As my true mate, it pains me to sleep away from you, but I am also required to respect your decisions as long as they're reasonable. Mates are not hostages or slaves. They're equals. Well, unless they're outside of battle. Then the male treats his Queen like a goddess." Natsu ended that small tirade a bit more huskily, causing a shiver down my spine that I had to blatantly try to ignore.
Smiling at the wonderful dragon slayer in front of me, I said, "Thank you, Natsu." And I meant it. In the beginning, when we discovered I was his true mate, I expected him to kind of just try and take over and dictate my life. You know, 'Me man, you woman,' type deal. But I had been dead wrong, and it made my heart flutter even more than before. "I've dreamed of having you for a long time now. I think we can wait just a little longer." Shaking my head slightly as if to clear the last remaining thoughts, I changed the subject. "Alright, so what are we doing about food? I really don't want to go back out in that cold just yet."
"I'm gonna go find us something hot to eat and stock up on supplies," Natsu readily answered, making a show of heading for the door to leave. "Don't leave this place unless you wanna freeze to death. Get yourself a nice hot bath. I'm sure you need it."
"Thanks..." was all I managed to say as I cranked the magical heat up just a bit more. Natsu stared at me, looking slightly uncomfortable for a moment before finally exiting the room.
…
"How on Earthland did you find genjeshi?!" I asked incredulously, looking at the steaming bowl of noodles Natsu had just set before me on the bed, along with piles of other food. Setting twice the amount of food bags on his own bed, Natsu just grinned at me.
"Like I'd tell you," he said teasingly, pulling out a brown paper wrapped package, complete with hay strings wrapped like a bow. Holding it out to me, he said, "I know we're doing the... 'cooling off' thing, and you really need this anyways, and I realized I never get you gifts, so... Anyways, here," he said, his cheeks reddening a bit as I gently grabbed the package gently from him.
"Wow, Natsu," I whispered, turning the package over in scrutiny. "This wasn't really necessary, though – "
"I wanted to do it," he said, cutting off my predictable answer to being given something. Especially something from him.
Maintaining eye contact, I nodded slowly in understanding. "Um, thank you," was all I could think to say as I turned the package over in my hands again, almost in a daze.
There was a moment of silence before Natsu's voice broke the silence. "Well, are you gonna open it?"
His voice kinda startled me. I was just thinking about all the times Natsu really had given me things. Nothing tangible, but even better. He had saved my life more times than I could count over and over. He did some of the dumbest but sweetest shit ever too, like the tree down the canal. Or like when he brought me straight to Fairy Tail to all my new friends – my new family – my new home. Natsu had actually given me everything.
Wiping those thoughts away at Natsu's prompting, I carefully opened the brown paper, only to be met with some of the softest, thickest fabric I had ever encountered.
"It's made from the wool of the Exosk Frost Sheep," Natsu said excitedly. "It's enchanted to keep the wearer warm, regardless of how cold it is on the outside of the cloak."
Honestly, the cloak I held gingerly in my fingers felt light as a feather for it being so thick and apparently fabricated from enchanted wool. What was even crazier was that the cloak looked as though it belonged on some noble person on a pleasant spring afternoon rather than a commoner trudging through frozen wastelands. Reaching the floor in length when it was clasped into place, the cloak was a deep rich red in color but it had an astounding gold embroidery lining that was absolutely stunning to behold.
"Natsu!" I exclaimed softly, standing and pulling on the cloak, adjusting it until it fell off my shoulders like it was supposed to. The heat that enveloped me was surreal but it seemed to be the precise temperature I needed. The feeling was indescribable. "Where the hell in this tiny ass town did you find something with such extraordinary magic?" I couldn't help but ask as I fingered the hem of the amazing work of fabric. "It must have cost a fortune."
"Well, yeah," he said, clearly admiring his gift on me as his eyes roamed my body hungrily. "But since the enchantment that I wanted placed on it needed a fire mage's magic to be effective, I got a huge discount for letting him use my fire and got it completely free when I offered up my magic for a few of his other cloaks." With that, Natsu grinned at me, cocking his head to the side like he always did when he was proud of himself
"It's enchanted with your fire?" I asked disbelievingly, hugging the cloak tighter to myself as I felt my eyes grow misty and my cheeks go pink. The fabric was softer than anything I had ever felt in my entire life, and my magic seemed to respond in kind to the cloak's, recognizing Natsu's magic with ease and allowing me to completely relax. It was like being wrapped up in Natsu's arms. "But how do you even know how to enchant items with your fire – ?"
Natsu snorted as his grin became even bigger. "I don't, but the tailor across the street happens to be a Binding type wizard. He was able to channel my magic into the cloaks, binding my fire to the material and making them stay warm no matter what. The other enchantments won't last very long, maybe a year at most, but as long as I touch your cloak with my magic every now and then, your spell will last forever."
"Natsu, I..." I was completely at a loss. Natsu had obviously went through a lot of trouble to get the magical cloak for me, and I almost felt bad at how surprised I truly was. Was it really such a huge deal to get a gift from Natsu? "Is it my birthday or something? You never really give gifts..."
Natsu frowned briefly at that. "Yeah, I know..." Lightly shaking his head and bringing his bright smile back, he said, "I realized that so I felt kind of bad. You deserve everything in the world, and I'm supposed to be the one to do that for you. Besides, it's only fair since Happy and I eat all your food all the time. And also, since we agreed on... Calming things down between us... This cloak will help keep you warm without me. You're going to need it for where we're headed."
'God damn that infuriating dragon!,' I screamed to myself inside my head. I was trying to force us away from each other a little and the jerk had to do something so fucking sweet that all I wanted to do was rip his clothes off and ravish him thoroughly. But right then was definitely not the time to start feeling that discomfort between my legs. Trying to keep my emotions in check, as well as my libido, I said in a thick voice, "Thank you so much, Natsu. This is so... Uncharacteristically nice of you, but I absolutely love it!"
I watched as Natsu seemed to sniff the air briefly, his eyes glazing over slightly before he shook his head roughly and smiled again. A dash of something hot seemed to flicker deep in his eyes, however. "Of course, Luce! You're my best friend. You said you wanted us to... pace ourselves better and I can't constantly keep using my magic to keep you warm so..." He let his words taper off, but I knew what he was getting at. To use his magic to help keep me warm would put us very close together... Too close for a couple that was trying to maintain their distance from one another.
Taking the cloak off and setting it neatly on my bed, I turned and flung myself into a hug with Natsu. Yeah, yeah, keeping our distance and all that jazz, but this hug was different. It wasn't romantic or sexual. It was literally one best friend showing the highest gratitude towards another. "It's wonderful, Natsu. Really." Finally pulling away with a huge smile on my face, noting Natsu's completely elated expression, I asked, "So, ready to eat and hit the hay? Gotta start traveling early in the morning."
Natsu nodded, agreeing.
...
As difficult as it was to not let Natsu know just how deeply I appreciated the gifted cloak, I somehow found the willpower deep within me to not gush over how warm I was beneath it as we trudged through an icy tundra thick with frozen solid snow. It worked spectacularly as we tracked across the frozen terrain that led us to the Steppes.
That night at the Inn, after lapsing momentarily on our agreement by hugging the slayer very tight and bodily, the two of us ate our meals on our respective beds before taking turns showering (even though I'd already had a hot bath). When it was time to sleep, it seemed even more awkward getting into separate beds from one another than sliding in next to each other in a single bed like we had already become accustomed to. I couldn't meet Natsu's eye as I rolled away from him on my bed, not liking the distance at all.
And neither of us slept well. Me, because nightmares from Faebridge seemed to come in swinging full force. Natsu would have slept fine if he wasn't so attuned to me that it barely took a few moments before he was wide awake, alert, and ready to wake me from the terrors in my sleep. He would always sooth me back to sleep, and I always woke up to see him back in his respective place. Deep down, it hurt. But who was I to hurt over the temporary arrangement of separation? It was my idea in the first place. I refused to finally give myself to the dragon's will just to have everything ripped away. Most say that it was better have loved and lost rather not loved at all, but I couldn't bring myself to believe that. As long as we stopped ourselves from taking anything further, taking a loss shouldn't hurt nearly as bad. At least, that was my reasoning.
We had just entered the boundary of Arid Steppes, which meant we were close to our destination. And it was just as grueling of a journey as Natsu said it would be. It was colder than anything I could have ever imagined (again, I was having the most difficult time not showing Natsu just exactly how much the cloak meant to me). The landscape the entire way was uneven and icy, making for quite a few ass-bustings for me, to which Natsu would of course have a maniacal fit of laughter every single time before helping me up.
The nights weren't much more easy going. There had already been one night where there wasn't a cave within range for us to set up in before the darkness fell, so Natsu and I were forced to share his tent and basically sleep on top of one another. Neither of us said a word about it the entire time, and I made sure there were a good couple of solid blankets between the two of us. All in all, everything was going smoothly and according to plan, no matter how cold and miserable it was.
Unfortunately for us, our "peaceful" time journeying was about to hit another large snag.
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