25. Concentrating on Falling Apart.

Rylee woke up in Jeff's bed, sunlight pouring through the open curtains. Another morning that she'd woke up with her arms slung around his neck, another day when she would be around but wouldn't ever say a word. Just another day that Jeff wouldn't let her out of his sight. It was all becoming routine for her. Jeff would get in the shower; then her, he would be ready by the time she came out, and they would stick to their schedule, which was something they had never done before. Laura would ring a few times from home where Fallon was staying with her and Randy and then they would head back to the hotel, spending the rest of the night in, Jeff attempting to get Rylee to eat, but always failing. Since finding out, Rylee had refused to go out after work; she refused to go any where that she didn't have to and she refused to go anywhere that he could be.

Jeff and Rylee had finally decided that Fallon should have a more stable home. So they let her move into Laura and Randy's new house, only a five minute walk from her high school. It was weird for both of them not to have Fallon around all the time, but they arranged for her to spend the summer on the road with them. Plus Rylee didn't exactly want Fallon to see her like this.

"You awake?" Jeff mumbled. Her gazed totally fixed on his chest; she drew patterns with her fingers and silently nodded. "Have you been up long?"

"Couldn't sleep again." Rylee mumbled, staring off out the window and watching the birds fly past. There was always something about watching birds fly that calmed Rylee down, made her feel a little bit more free, just watching them soar through the sky with nothing to hold them down or pull them back. She wished she could be that free.

"You should have woken me up." Jeff pushed himself up onto his elbows.

"But you were dreaming, so I didn't want to." Jeff threw her a questioning look. "You were making funny noises again." Rylee looked up at him and showed him a small smile.

"Come on, we've got to be at a signing in about two hours."

Rylee watched Jeff as he got out of bed and stumbled towards the bathroom, aiming for the shower. He reappeared ten minutes later, wrapped only in one of those small hotel towels. "Stupid hotel," He mumbled, "Do I look like I have the body of a three year old?" He demanded to know; only causing Rylee to giggle.

"It's not the hotel's fault that you're teeny tiny." Rylee laughed as she dived over the bed and into the bathroom, locking the door behind her.

"Oh that was mean." Jeff pouted on the other side of the door.

To anyone that could have walked into Jeff Hardy's hotel room that morning would have thought the normal. Jeff and Rylee would have come across as the perfect couple. Jeff was standing in the middle of the room attempting to pack both his and Rylee's suitcases. It wasn't his fault he loved her.

No one could have realizing that Rylee was standing in the shower with tears blurring her eyes. Her whole body shaking as she sobbed.

It had been three weeks since it had come out the John had been cheating on Rylee with Rebecca. And it had spread through the locker room like wild fire. Vince had sent John down to OVW to "try and spice it up a bit" for a few weeks.Whereas Rebecca had been removed from the company immediately, no excuses, no apologies, just pack your bags and leave. She was completely replaceable. A horrible thought really, that a woman could be replaced within seconds of her walking out of the door, yet with a man's career in this business, it takes time, they can't be disposed of so easily.

Rylee walked down the corridor towards the cafeteria. She had argued with Jeff for at least an hour, claiming that she was old enough to go and get a bottle of water by herself. He was adamant someone was going to jump on her. So when he wasn't looking she rang his cell phone, knowing that he wouldn't know where it was. "I think you left it in your combats pocket, in the bathroom." As soon as he was out of sight, Rylee was off the chair and out of the door.

She was losing a lot of weight, and fast. She had a new diet now, cigarettes, coffee and a family sized bag of mini gems. In an attempt to make her feel better, Rylee had bought hair extensions and Jeff had dyed her hair for her. It was all virgin snow blonde except she had baby pink running through her fringe and black streaks in the under layers of her extensions. Her combat shorts hung off her hips and her black camisole top exposed her shoulder blades that were starting to jut out. With her iPod in her pocket and no one in the corridor she started to sing to herself.

"I am heaven sent, don't you dare forget. I am all you've ever wanted, what all the other boys all promised. Sorry I told. I just needed you to know. I think in decimals and dollars. I am the cause to all your problems, shelter from cold. We are never alone. Co-ordinate brain and mouth. Then ask me what it like to have myself so figured out. I wish I knew..."

How was she supposed to know he was watching her?

"I hope this song starts a craze. The kind of song that ignites the airwaves. The kind of song that makes people glad to be where they are, with whoever they're there with. This is war. Every line is about who I don't wanna write about anymore. Hope you come down with something they can't diagnose, don't have the cure for. Holding on to your grudge, Oh it's so hard to have someone to love. And keeping quiet is hard. Cause you can't keep a secret if it never was a secret to start. At least pretend you didn't wanna get caught."

He wasn't supposed to be in this country never mind here and she wasn't supposed to be alone.

"We're concentrating on falling apart. We were contenders, we're throwing the fight but I just wanna believe, I just wanna believe, I just wanna believe, in us."

She stopped dead in her tracks in the middle of the corridor. She knew he was there, didn't want to turn around to check, just in case. His hands hooked under her arms and snaked around the back of her neck, masterlocking her gently. He rested his head on her shoulder and sang.

"Oh, we're so c-c-c-c-c-controversial. We are entirely smooth. We admit to the truth, we are the best at what we do. And these are the words you wish you wrote down. This is the way you wish your voice sounds, handsome and smart. Oh my tongue's the only muscle on my body that works harder than my heart. And it's all from watching TV, and from speeding up my breathing. Wouldn't stop if I could. Oh it hurts to be this good. You're holding on to your grudge. Oh it hurts to always have to be honest with the one that you love. Oh, so let it go…"

Rylee squealed and turned around in his arms. "Jamie!" She jumped into his arms.

"Hey shortarse." He ruffled her hair, "Haven't seen you in a while." He smiled. Jamie was her best friend, had been since high school. Kind of like the male version of Laura with a thicker Geordie accent.

"Did Jeff ring you?" Rylee asked, starting to walk again towards the cafeteria.

"Was it that obvious?" Jamie laughed, following Rylee.

They returned back to the locker room half an hour later with two large lattes and a family sized bag of mini gems.

"Where the hell have you been?" Jeff demanded the moment Rylee walked through the door.

"Don't yell. Jamie's here." Rylee smiled, instantly melting Jeff who hadn't seen her smile in weeks.

"Glad you're back." Jeff smiled.

Rylee and Jamie spent the rest of the night sat on the hotel bed, rented movies and pizza boxes lay on the bed around them. She hadn't laughed that hard in a long time, not since the whole John episode. Jamie reminded her of Jeff quick a lot. He sat on the bed next to her, Delilah the guitar sat on his lap, his blonde hair flopping into his eyes, causing him to shake his head to get it out, only resulting in his hair falling back into place. His black rimmed glasses sat on the top of his nose, his tongue sticking out slightly as he concentrated.

-Flashback-

"Yeah well I fucking hate you." Rylee, only sixteen years old slammed the phone shut. That was over then. Another boyfriend, another two weeks of her life wasted. She walked through the streets of Morpeth before stopping in the bus station. She lit up a cigarette and took a long drag. Emma, Matty and Laura bounced into the bus station, acting like they were three year olds. "Hey." Rylee smiled at all three girls. "You ready to go?"

"We're waiting on Emma's boyfriend Jamie." Matty informed her. The next bus that pulled up into the bus station stopped in front of them. After everyone and their grandmother got off, a cute blonde boy with thick rimmed black glasses and a guitar on his back walked off. He smiled at Emma then looked down at Rylee.

"Bad habit you know." He smiled as Rylee put out her cigarette.

-End Of Flashback-

"I'll be back in a minute." Rylee smiled grabbing her backpack.

"If you're going for a smoke, then I'll kill you." Jamie narrowed his eyes.

"Oh ssh you." She hit his arm. He put Delilah down on the bed next to him and grabbed his jacket. "What you doing?"

"Well I'm not going to let you smoke alone." Jamie smiled following her out of the room and out of the building. Rylee sat on the floor by the nearest wall. "You still don't like sitting on walls do you?" Jamie laughed.

"You know I always sit on the floor." They remained in a comfortable silence for quite some time. Rylee transfixed on the grey smoke that curled out of her lips.

"So, are you going to tell me what happened?" Jamie whispered, knowing for easily Rylee could close up and stay that way.

"He cheated on me Jamie." She turned to him, mascara colored tears ran the length of her cheeks. Rylee sat on the floor in front of the hotel for hours with Jamie that night; she cried out every single tear she had.

"I love you." Jamie whispered as he sat on the floor with her, rocking her in his arms.

"I know, I love you too." She whispered back.

"No, I mean," Jamie sighed trying to find the right words, "I'm in love with you." Before Rylee could reply his lips crashed down onto hers, taking her breath away completely. Rylee scrambled to her feet.

"Jamie. I can't. I mean. I have to go." With that, she ran into the hotel, locking herself in her room when she got there. Her cell phone beeped from in position on her bedside table. She picked it up to read the text.

I'm here if you need me. I love you Ry xx

Rylee opened the window on sat on the ledge, her feet dangling down on to the fire escape; she lit another cigarette and rested her head against the window frame, dragging her fingers through her hair.

We're concentrating on falling apart. We were contenders, we're throwing the fight but I just wanna believe, I just wanna believe, I just wanna believe, in us. This is the grace that only we can bestow. This is the price you pay for loss of control. This is the break in the bend; this is the closest of calls. This is the reason you're alone, this is the rise and the fall. We're concentrating on falling apart. We were contenders, we're throwing the fight but I just wanna believe, I just wanna believe, I just wanna believe. We're concentrating on falling apart. We were contenders, we're throwing the fight but I just wanna believe, I just wanna believe,


I just wanna believe, in us.

Okay I Believe You But My Tommy Gun Don't by Brand New

I actually believe that this chapter is shit.