Eleven Reasons Why James Potter Needs to Stop Asking Out Lily Evans:

By Marly McKinnon

1. It's just getting sad now. It used to be hilarious, but now it's bordering on completely pathetic.

2. It puts her in such a bad mood every time, especially when he does one of his grand showings, like in the Great Hall or in the Common Room.

3. Last night completely ruined the rest of the Halloween party. Lily refused to eat any more Chocolate Frogs after James jinxed a bunch of them to serenade her and stormed up to our dormitory and spent the rest of the night sulking. And, as everyone knows, having your best mate wait up in your room sulking and working herself up into a fury is always the best way to get excited for a party. And on Lily's favorite holiday of all days.

4. She used to be really funny when she exploded to reject him. Now she just ignores him or calmly insults him. All humor gone.

5. It's keeping other guys from asking Lily out, or even acting interested in her, and I can tell it's making her feel bad that she's always single and alone. Particularly when the rest of us aren't.

6. Relating to my previous point, James is keeping her from having any sort of functional relationship. She's only having awkward one time dates with the Muggle blokes in her village she went to primary with and only ever during the summer.

7. Her lack of relationships is making her far less tolerant of our relationships. Granted, I generally just hook up and snog Sirius every few weeks, but that doesn't mean anything. Mary's too busy mooning after Remus for anyone to care, but Lily actually started yelling at Lucy for always writing novels to Xeno instead of spending time with us. Granted, he is bloody strange as hell, but Lucy's odd enough too, always trying to experiment and such. One day, I swear she's going to blow off one of her limbs. Or, more importantly, one of mine.

8. It is pissing Sirius off more and more and it sucks to have to snog him when he's all angry like. He gets all huffy and dramatic.

9. Even though Lily's not mates with him anymore (thank Merlin!) that Snape character always seems to be around when James asks Lily out, and he always seems so angry at Lily for some reason, even though it is completely illogical for him to be mad at her rather than him. Blimey, I sounded like Lily just then.

10. It's killing James to keep being rejected. I know he plays it off like a big joke with bravado and all that, but I can tell. I've known him all my life, and I can tell that he really likes her. He might not be my best friend anymore, but that doesn't mean I don't still think of him as my big brother. And I do not want my brother getting hurt. And by my brother, I mean James, I don't care about my actual brother, he could rot for all I care, bloody tosser.

11. I think Lily might be warming up to him. And I'm going to keep them apart if it's the last thing I do.

A/N: I'm back! I had a fantastic trip but I'm so happy to be home, as I'm sure many of you can relate to:)