Chapter 25: Truth and Healing

Within the security of my high cave, I prepare. First running through the postures of the centering practice forms and their accompanying thought constructs. Strength. Duty. Honor. Suddenly, bitter laughter comes from my throat.

The voices of my old trainers speak as a chorus inside my head. You are strong Thar'n-dha. You weld your thoughts and scent with great skill. Duty? To whom? You continue the path of betrayal. And honor – hah! You have no honor.

I argue back. The path has many branches. I seek no harm to others. I only take from them that which they waste foolishly. They see no value in humans as fellow beings. Humans are as intelligent as we are. They demonstrate brotherhood, honesty and honor. True, some are Badbloods as are some Yautja. They are far from the majority. Given time and technology, they could become allies, not simply prey. They are not simpletons to be taught to worship and sacrifice to us. Perhaps once they were, but not now.

I was rejected for my beliefs and desire to prove the worthiness of humans. I sought revenge. I returned to warn of the Hish. I returned to great glory and reward. Those are fleeting things – ready to be taken away at the first hint of belief in human value. I will miss Yaut, my life there, my pups, my brothers . . . I will not miss the fickleness of the High Council. I will not miss standing in front of them, not knowing if the next moments bring reward or death. Where is the honor of the Matriarch who admitted to understanding human sentience and keeps it hidden? She believes humans to be intelligent, the same order of intellect as we demonstrate, yet she still ordered me to prepare the humans for hunting and Chiva. Honor is in the eyes of the beholder.

I have chosen my path. It is among the humans. I am Thar'n-dha still! Honorable Hunter and scientist. Thar'n-dha who chooses his own path and names it duty and honor. And I am also HD . . . Hunter with a human daughter and mate, human Hunt Brothers and friends. I will not seek to harm any Yautja, but I will also not harm these humans. May the gods judge my actions!

It is Seneca who speaks, "We formally welcome you back to Abuela, HD! We're all pleased that you were able to make it back to us."

The human council – so different than the High Council of Matriarchs on Yaut. There, I was submissive, not daring to event look up at them. Here, I am an equal among equals.

I nod at their welcome. Seneca, a very wise individual among the humans.

"Amm honnoorreedd byyy youurr weellccomee."

"You've been back for ten days now. Your voice sounds stronger," he observes.

"Beetteerrr."

The initial discomfort has relented, mostly because of the soothing tea that Mahpiya brews for me.

"So we have a few questions for you, if you will try to answer them the best you can."

I nod.

"We are truly appreciative that your description of how honorable hunters would treat us was indeed validated by this most recent visit."

I shake my head, "Liikkeee Honnoorraabblee Hunntterrss, bbuutt noott hunnttinngg. Othherrss brrrinngg meeee inn sshhipp."

"I see. We are still grateful there was no attack. Can you please tell us what has happened? We know that you left in the alien ship and that you were going to warn your kind of the Hish."

"Gaavvee shhipp anndd trrophyyy tooo Hiigghh Couunccill. Thheeyyy oonnn guuarrdd nooww foorr Hiisshh. Orrdderr meee heerree tooo conntinnuuee exxperrimmenntt. Thheeyy thinnkk iitt isss tooo maakkeee youuu prreyyy anndd giivvee ssaaccrriiffiiccee. Buuttt youuu haavvee chhoiicceee nooww.

I take a sip of Mahpiya's tea, before continuing. "Iiii brrinnggg teecchnnoolloggyy. Heellpp youuu prrogresss fasstt. Haavveee thheeorrryyy – ccannn maakkee Abbueellaa innnviissiibbllee. Likkeee Hunnterr clloaakk. Weeee haaveee twwooo hunndreedd fiifftyy yeeaarrrss too dooo thiiss.

"Nnneedd oothherrr plllann ifff faaiilll. Youu chhoooseee. Subbbbmiisssioonn ooorrr fiigghhhtt."

I look around the table. Everyone is leaning in my direction, listening intently.

It is Pranav who first speaks, "HD, you said that you were sent back to make us give a sacrifice? Can you please explain?"

"Loonnggg aggooo, youurr annceessttoorrrs woorrshhippp uuss. Seelleccteedd sommee too giivvee thheiirr livvess foorr Yautja Chiva hunnttt. Wasss ggreaatt honoorrr. Chiva iisss donneee byyy all Yautja too beecommeee addullttt. Ggreaattt hunnnttt ooff harrrd mmeaatt prreeyyy."

Pranav asks, "How do humans figure in this? Why are they sacrificed?"

"Haarddd mmeaatt iiinn egggg. Muusstt coommee ouutt, ggrrooww iiinnn liivviingg booddyy tooo maatturree. Uussee sccaaccriifiiccesss fooorr thhaatt."

I watch Pranav's face go from curiosity to disgust. The scent of human fear and revulsion permeates the room.

"HD! That's revolting! How much do they suffer?"

"Muucchhh," I admit. "Buutt shoorrttt. Hheerree toooo heellppp thhiiss nooott happeennn."

"Why, HD?" It is Seneca's voice again. "Why should you help us? Your civilization is far advanced of our own. You seem to have had full acceptance back on Yaut. Enough that you were reassigned here to make hunting us and this Chiva thing happen. Somehow, you seemed to have fooled them about what you're doing here with us. Or, you've managed to fool us."

"Truutthh issss, Iii chhooosseee youuu. Ooonnn Yaauuttt, liiffee goooddd fooorrr meee. Muucchhh honnooorrr. Muuccchhh reewarrddd. Buuttt alll teemmpoorrarryy. Mooreee immpoorrtanntt too heellpp youu."

Suddenly, a new facet of truth hits me, as I speak face to face with the council. "Wiitthh Yautja, allll maallleess suubbmiittt tooo feemallesss. Thheeyy rruullee alll thinnggss. Nooo eqqquaall. Nooottt likkeee hherreee.

"Haarrdd tooo beee wittthhh youuu aaattt timmeeess, trruuuee. Buuttt HD eeqquaall heerrree. Haavveee frriieenndss, daaugghtterrr, mmaattteee. Caannn sppeeakk wiittth ccounnccill asss eequuall, nnnoottt iiinn ffearrr fooorrr liffeee."

Another swallow of tea eases the roughness of my throat. My voice is nearly gone.

"Beeeffoorreee, wwaannttt tttakkeee awwwaayyy huummann prreyy hunnttt ffrrommm Yautja ffffoorrr rrrevvennnggeee. Nooowww, wwannntt bbessttt fooorr mmmyyyy fffammillyyy. Myyyy ffrreiiinnddss."

Seneca speaks, "HD, we will consider your words. I can tell your voice is greatly strained. We have heard enough for now. Go rest yourself. I speak for myself when I say that I believe that you are indeed our friend. Thank you for this great effort you have made today to speak with us."

I nod and leave the room, the small box in my heart and mind greatly expanding.

"Ang-ee. Brroughttt tooollss. Trrryyy tooo reepairrr." I point to her rigid ankle.

"I've been waiting for you to bring that back up. By all means! Go ahead. You can't make it any worse!"

I lower my brow at her, "Miiighttt. Thiiisss noottt trryy beefforreee. Channccee maayy nooottt woorrrkkk."

"Then I won't be any worse off, will I?"

"Trrryyy nooottt maaakkeee woorrseee. Buuttt wiilll beee paiinnn. Maaayyy beee nooo paaiinnn whillleee Iii trryyy fiiixxx. Paaiinnn laatterr."

"What are you going to do? Knock me out?"

I shake my head and hold up the oblong device, "Thhhiisss stttooppp ppaaainnn. Iiii maaaddeee oonnn Yaut. Noottt ussseee mmuuccchhh. Nnnevverrr oonnn hummannn."

"So it's experimental?"

I nod, relieved she has some understanding now.

"So lemme get this straight. You can try and repair my ankle, but it's all experimental and you don't know if it will work. You've got this device that will hopefully keep me from hurting while you fix it, but not afterwards."

"Alll trrruuuee buuttt deeeviiccee heelllpp afffterrr toooo – foorrr timmeee."

"HD, how can you even try to fix my ankle? I know you're a human scientist, but what are you going to do to fix me?"

"Oppeenn wiittthhh ccuuttt. Gooo innnsiidddeee, clleaaannn booonnneees."

"Oh shit. You're going to do surgery! Cut me open and go in there and somehow get rid of all the arthritic shit that's frozen my ankle?"

I nod in complete agreement.

"And the real shit truth about it is that you know how to do this from what? Dissecting us?"

I nod again.

"Have you ever done surgery on a live person before and tried to fix them?"

I nod, "Noottt huumaannsss. Loowweerr prreeeyy." My throat constricts even as the word leaves it.

Angie sits for a moment, thinking and then seems to comprehend my error. "HD, did you just call me prey?"

"Diiddd. Sllippp oofff thhrroattt."

"You did change yourself while you were away. Even on the ship, you never called me that." There is concern on her face while her scent is one of surprised disappointment. At least it's not fear.

"So, how do we get this done?"

"Neeeeeddd heelllppp."

"You need medical assistance?"

"Do you want to carry me, your prey mate, to the clinic? I can ask them for help." For some reason, her remark draws a laugh from her.

"Ang-ee neevverr prreeyy."

"Oh, I wouldn't mind being your prey – depending on what you wanted to do after you caught me!"

I catch her meaning as a small scent of sexual interest wafts my way. "Innnn timmeee. Wiiilll haapppeennn."

"Is that a threat?"

"Booonnnnd."

"Okay then! Let me hold all that medical stuff you have and you can carry me to the clinic."

"Noowww?"

"Yes, now! The sooner you fix my ankle, the sooner I can fully participate in your booonnnddd."

I smile at her for the first time since my return, a true, effortless smile. My knuckle traces the line of her cheek before I hoist her to my chest, and then make my way to the part of the cavern the humans call the clinic.

"Oh, I'm glad you're here," she says to the woman inside the clinic. "HD has something he thinks will help my ankle and he wants to carry out a surgical procedure here with your help. His voice isn't completely back yet, so I'll help out where I can in understanding him."

"Surgery!" says the clinic female. "You trust him to cut into you?"

"I trust him with my life," my mate states boldly, staring down the other female.

"Okay then, just put her down right here." She motions to a narrow pallet on legs, not unlike the ones in Yautja healing facilities. Placing Angie on it, I take the instruments from her and open the bag, showing them to the clinician. "Clleaannnn.". She looks at me and then at Angie.

My mate responds, "Nurse, we need to get these instruments as sanitized as possible."

The nurse turns to me, "All I can do is boil them in water. Can they withstand that?"

I nod. It takes some time for her to heat the metal container on the clinic stove so that the water can clean my instruments. I spent the time standing next to Angie, stroking her soft hair, digging at the buried box in the recesses of my mind. These soft strands were always so fascinating to me. So desirable to touch and scent them. They were all dark. Now a few pure white strands intermingle.

"Okay," the nurse withdraws the instruments using a metal mesh that was suspended in the container. She dumps them onto a clean cloth-covered tray, quickly covering them with another clean cloth. "These are as sterile as I can get them. What now?"

I point to the ankle. "You want that cleaned too?"

I nod. The nurse fetches a bottle and saturates a cloth with liquid. Then she begins patting over the skin of the ankle. "Right here?"

I draw an imaginary circle in the air over the dorsal side of the ankle where I need to enter. The nurse pats the wet cloth and then rubs it, covering the area. "This is alcohol," she explains. It won't sterilize but it's a good disinfectant. I point to the pad and she rewets it and hands it to me. I rub the outside of my device, getting it as clean as possible.

She pours some over her hands and I hold mine out too. She obliges. I rub my hands together, trying to clean all my scales and talons. I ask for another pour and receive it.

Then I hold up the device, turn it on and calibrate it. Through the mask, I locate the main nerve running down Angie's leg and situate the device on her skin right over it.

My mate gasps for a moment but settles, "That tingles! What's it doing?"

I pick up an instrument and hold it up, directing her gaze, and poke at her foot on the same leg with the non-business end of the tool.

"It's numb! I couldn't even feel that!"

Testing, I poke other places on her foot, ankle and lower leg. "I can't feel any of that, HD! This is amazing. Are you going to operate?"

I look at her and use the 'what the fuck is that' gesture.

"Cut into my ankle, HD."

I nod.

"Okay, then. I'm ready. Do it!"

Placing my mask, I connect the hoses, setting a mixture of generated Yaut and native Abuela air. I theorize that breathing a more native mixture will assist my focus and concentration. Then, I reach for the beam generating tool, a small rectangular box and set it for minimum penetration. Hovering it over her ankle, I watch it make a neat slice, as sharp as any blade. I retract the skin with my talons and quickly cauterize any bleeding. The scent of cooked human stink rises. A mandible tap on a control to filters it out of my mixture of air.

Next I cut through the layers of tissue until the complex ankle bones are visible, taking care to preserve nerves, tendons and ligaments. The nurse holds the fine hook and uses it as a retractor when needed. Finally, the bones are laid bare. I pick up a scraper and begin the fine work of removing the overgrowth from them, occasionally breaking the fusion up with my beam.

"You doin' okay, Angie?" my assistant asks.

"Fine. Don't feel a thing. Just not looking at it."

"Good idea. Just relax. HD's doing a great job. I didn't know he was a surgeon."

"He's not," my mate answers. "He a human scientist."

"So how does he know our anatomy so well?" I stop cutting, waiting for the nurse's reaction to what I know will be my mates answer."

"Dissection, vivisection most probably."

"Holy fuck," says the nurse. She keeps her place in my work and I continue, chuckling mildly.

Aided by my masks magnification, I keep working, scraping and burning away the boney overgrowth that has rendered my mate helpless. Finally, the bones are shaped and made smooth again, able to function. The only thing left to do is close and allow it to heal. I flip the burner beam to become a sealer and begin closing the deep wound. Layer after layer of muscle and connective tissue are brought together, until finally the skin is sealed. I set down my tools, mentally exhausted.

"That was amazing, HD! What now?"

I adjust the numbing device until Angie winces in pain, then I turn it back up just a little and unmask, raising my brow ridge at her. "Feeelll?"

"You want to know how this feels?"

I nod.

"A distant throbbing. Not bad, but maybe enough to keep me awake tonight."

I nod, turning toward the nurse, uttering, "Heellpp slleeeppp?" while giving the 'what the fuck' gesture.

"He wants to know if you can give me something to help me sleep."

"I can give you alcohol and bitter bark tea for inflammation and pain. But Angie that tea will be like spitting into the ocean for this kind of pain."

"I think he's going to leave this thing in place on my leg for awhile. It's blocking the pain."

I nod in agreement, my throat is sore again, catching in its tightness. So I make a toast with raised hand like I am holding a mug and nod yes.

"He says okay to the alcohol. What about the tea, HD."

Again, I nod.

"Okay to both, then."

The nurse hands me two bottles of hooch along with a packet of shredded bitter bark. "Just let me know if you need more. HD, I take it you're leaving that thing on her leg to keep the pain down?"

I nod.

"Good! And after she doesn't need it anymore, will you show me how it works?"

I don't know how to answer her. The technology is beyond your ability right now.

My mate answers, "Let's ask him again when he can talk. His throat is really sore right now. He hasn't spoken our language for a long time. It will take him some time to readjust to speaking it."

The nurse replies, "Let's do that. Anyway, you can rest and recuperate here Angie."

"HD?" my mate inquires; I shake my head and point in the direction of home.

"Looks like he has his own ideas. He'll take excellent care of me. He always has."

"Well just ask if you need anything. Okay, HD?"

I move in to gather my tools and cleanse them in the boiling water. When they are clean and packed away, I will take my mate back to our home where I will watch and tend her during her recovery. The nerve signal interference device will need constant monitoring.