"No kiss, no gentle word could wake me from this slumber, until I realized that it was you who held me under." How getting lost in the music, in singing was so relaxing- so freeing.

The music began to go faster, heavier, I lifted my arms, my eyes shut. My body was no longer mine. "Felt it in my fist, in my feet, in the hollows of my eyelids, shaking through my skull, through my spine and down through my ribs."

This was heaven, I thought, singing to the song that seemed to be made for me. In a moment that was all mine, war around me be damned.

"No more dreaming of the dead as if death itself was undone, no more crawling like a crow for a boy, for a body in the garden. No more dreaming like a girl so in love, No more dreaming like a girl so in love, no more dreaming like a girl so in love with the wrong world"

"Amazing, do you normally dance around in your panties."

The voice broke my trance, jumping back I glared at the imposter, my arms crossing over my chest. His smirk making my stomach turn "What are you doing here Logan?" I snapped, quickly moving to the bed, getting a pair of my jeans out of my bag.

"Admiring the view" He said, his voice husky, trying not to blush I ignored him, giving him another good glare. Deciding it'd seem cowardly to run into the bathroom, I stayed in place to put on my jeans. Wiggling into them, under his gaze was mortifying. "You shouldn't be here." seeing me like this, I added self-consciously to myself.

"I figured with Dumb and dumber out, I could finally come out and play" He smirked, then, lazily went to the bed closer to the door, Dean's bed- laying down, "You should really tell them about us babe," I could here the laughter in his voice "The sooner the better, wait to long and once they find out" he shook his head, grinning "its going to be great."

"Great, yeah.." I said, sarcastically, my hands going to my hips, every single guard mental and physically snapping in place as I stared Logan down, "That's the word I would use."

He grinned, sitting up "So, who's the boy?"

"Huh?" I asked, dumbfounded.

"The boy you were singing about?" he frowned, "It isn't one of the Winchester's is it?"

I rolled my eyes, "Its just a song," then, staring at him I smiled, "plus if it was about anyone, why do you think I'd tell you?"

He put his hands over his heart, with a pained expression on his face "Ouch, just hurt me why dontcha"

"Logan," getting to the point, not wanting to fall into the habit to bickering like friends might, "You can't be here."

"Why is that?" he put his finger to his chin, "Oh yeah, because you keep lying to Dean and Sam."

"I'm not lying!" I shouted, angry "You have no right to come in here and-"

"Alex-" he yelled over my voice, quieting me, "Shut up!" he shook his head, getting off of the bed and took the five long steps to stand in front of me. "I'm here to work with you, something you wont do until you tell them." he gave me a look, "so tell them already"

"I'm not ready yet…" I'm not ready to lose them.

"Alex." He put his hands on my shoulders, gaze locking on to mine "Do it. Do it soon or I leave and I wont come back."

.x.x.x.x.

"Pie?" Dean asked, sniffing the air as him and Sam walked into the room. I would have laughed if I didn't find myself in knots at the moment. "Yeah," a gave a meek smile, "and look at this." I said, picking up a DVD on the night stand, "I figured we could have a night in. The hunts done, so we have downtime for tonight…"

Dean and Sam shared a looked, before finally shrugging. Dean throwing his duffle on the bed, Sam went into the bathroom, "So what movie is that?" Dean asked, getting into the bag with the pie, I smiled, "Serial mom."

"No kidding?" He chuckled, "Gotta love that movie." opening the box with the pie, and taking a plastic fork he began to dig in. "This is good" He said, mouth full, smile wide "Want some?" he asked, holding his fork out, "No thanks," I laughed, "I'll leave you too it."

I sat on the bed, tucking my knees beneath me.

I was scared of telling them that Logan was back in the picture. I didn't know what to think; would they pack and leave me here? Would they yell? Of course they would yell, I thought, answering my own question.

"Are you okay Alex?" I looked up, seeing Dean stare at me anxiously, in time for Sam coming out of the bathroom, glancing back and forth.

Yeah, why? Was at the tip of my tongue, but I couldn't say it. I shook my head, "Not really." I looked between them, "I have to tell you guys something."

"Do I need to sit down?" Dean asked, his face getting momentarily pale.

"You're already sitting down," Sam said, frowning, then turning his gaze on me, not seeing Dean's glare "What's going on Alex?"

"Logan," their faces harden, "He's in town."

"He's here?" Dean asked, standing up fastly, almost tipping over the chair, his voice gruff with anger "Where?"

"I-I-"

"Alex where is he?" Dean shouted.

"Dean," Sam said soothingly, "Alex, you have to tell us where he is, if he's threatening you-"

"He isn't" I said, getting off the bed, "He's helping me. Or he will be soon, that is."

"Helping you?" Dean deadpanned.

"Yeah?"

Dean shook his head, "I can't believe this." his eyes back on mine, "So what was this," He pointed to the pie, "huh? A bribe"

"No! I just, I wanted to-"

"To what Alex?" Dean yelled, cutting me off. His nostrils flaring, his face getting red.

"GUYS!" Sam yelled, then to Dean, "Let her talk, man" Then to me, "Be honest with us Alex."

"I AM!" exasperated I threw my hands up, "I'm telling you he's in town,"

"But not where"

"Cause' you two would go run off trying to kill him,"

"Damn right we would!"

"Dean!" I yelled, this wasn't the way I wanted it to go. I knew I was on the losing side of the bet, but I had hoped… "Can you just stop seeing red for one minute and see that I'm trying to explain," taking a quick deep breath, "I'm not saying I want Logan here-"

"then why can't we kill him?" he snapped, ignoring him I continued, "But I need him here Dean. He has answers for me. And I need them. I need to know why this is happening to me." I paused, looking at Sam, then to Dean before settling on the ground "I need to know what's wrong with me."

"Alex," Sam said, coming to my side, "Nothing is wrong with you."

"You can't honestly think that?" I asked, "All these weird things have been happening to me, you guys know it's not normal. I'm not normal."

They were silent for a moment before Dean finally spoke again, "No one in this room is even close to normal Alex, that doesn't mean anything is wrong with you" stealing a quick look to Sam, "Or us" but even as he spoke those words, I could hear the hesitancy in them. He wasn't truly sure of how wrong or un-normal I was or for that matter Sam.

"Dean…" I paused, taking my time wording the words that would seal my fate "Logan can help me. And I can't turn my back on that, if there is a chance he has the answers" I stopped and looked down, "but I understand if you guys don't want me here anymore, I just don't want you to hate me."

"We could never hate you Alex," Sam said, surprised by my words. I looked at Dean, the same surprised look was on his face.

"The last time when I left…" I swallowed the guilt. " You didn't want anything to do with me."

"What?" Dean, barked out laughter "You're the one that didn't call." His eyes narrowed "or return any of our calls." he threw a look to Sam, "Sammy over here called everyday," I noticed the quick, 'seriously' look Sam sent Dean's way, but it made me even more confused

"I called you guys every day. You never called me back," I shook my head, "The first time I heard from you was when Sam called me to tell me about the accident."

I saw the confusion and disbelief clearly in their eyes, "Alex, we called." "A lot." Dean add, "Some days more then others, but we called every day." He threw his hands up in the air, "Hell, we even tried to track you down. We spent a week looking in the city, but couldn't find a trace of you."

I sat on the edge of the bed, "But that doesn't make any sense," shaking my head.

"tell me about it." Dean grumbled.

"I called you's" I whispered,

"We called you." Sam said.

I didn't understand. I tried contacting them, and they never came through. It made no sense to me. How could they have been looking for me- I left messages, I left texts', I left everything but a flare gun shouting my location and need for them.

"How could-" I stopped, everything freezing around me, a memory taking place. How could I have forgotten about Logan and the lengths he'd go to keep me away from the brothers. It wasn't so much that I thought he couldn't, I just thought… I just thought he wouldn't.

I stood up, my jaw clenching as I marched out of the Motel.

"Where are you going?" Dean asked, following me out.

"To kill Logan!" I growled, walking towards the Impala, "Are you coming or not?"

I didn't have to look to see the smiles on their faces.

x.x.x.x.x.

"Stay in the car," I said, eyeing the house I knew Logan was 'borrowing' suspiciously.

"You can't be serious!"

"Oh I'm serious." I told Dean, "I've very serious." I opened the car door, "Give me ten minutes." I paused, thinking about all the ways to torture him, "scratch that, give me an hour."

"Alex, we aren't letting you go in there al-"

"Yes." I glared at them, Sam first then Dean, "You are."

"We are?" Dean asked, "why is that?"

"Cause I'm asking you too." I sighed, "I'm asking you this once to just trust me. Let me handle this for one hour and then you can come to my rescue."

"And kill Logan." Dean added, his brow raised.

I smiled, "And kill Logan."

"Really?" he asked surprised.

"No." I grinned, "But you can punch him for all it's worth."

I could see him weighing the options in his mind, "Make it fifteen minutes and we have a deal."

"Dean!"

"Alex!" he mocked, "You have fifteen minutes. He looked at his watch, "Starting now."

"Errr." I sent them both angry looks before walking towards the house.

x.x.x.x.

I didn't knock, I didn't even hesitate before opening the door and then slaming it shut. I walked into the open looking foyer, "LOGAN!" I yelled, "GET YOUR ASS OUT HERE NOW!"

I waited five seconds, when he didn't show or answer I flung my hand out. "I SAID NOW!" I growled, my eyes shutting; as I felt static release of energy pulse upwards and forward from my body.

The sound of a crash made me open my eyes, only to find Logan on the ground, eyes wide, as he stood brushing his dark jeans, a mess around him, plaster and what looked to be glass from a vase surrounded him "What are you doing-" before he could finish I flung my hand, he hit the wall again the sound of his head hitting the plaster made my anger melt; but only momentarily.

I walked towards him until I was only inches away, my eyes blazing. "You new how much they meant to me. You KNEW!" I shouted in his face.

"Ale-"

"don't! don't tell me you don't know what I'm talking about" his eyes spoke volumes, "I swear I don't."

"You knew how much I was missing them! How much it was hurting me that they were ignoring me!" I shook my head, stepping back; my anger fading into pain, he fell from the wall with a thud. "You did it. You kept them away from me!" hurt laced my voice, "Why, why would you do that? Did you think the first time they called I would have run back."

I could see the moment it clicked, the look in his eyes went from bewilderment to understanding- then to anger. "Well you did didn't you." He said it calming, but I knew he was feeling everything but calm.

I shook my head, "Dean was hurt! And I was angry at you." I couldn't help but smile painfully at him. "Every time I think I can get close to you, every time I want to trust you- another one of your plotting scheming hit's the surface." shaking my head, "I'm done with this soap opera Logan. I don't care how much I might need you, I wont be some ploy in this game."

I walked ten steps away, "And tell your boss or whoever the hell it is you're working for to leave me alone, and to stop using you to mess with my life. That the moment this happens again, I will find them, and I will kill them. Do you understand?"

"Alex..."

"Don't you understand Logan?" My voice hardened. "You go to whoever the hell is behind all this and you tell them. The moment you or another one of their clowns interferes in my life again, I will find them, and I will kill them." he stood there watching me, his body stiff with tension though his face was masked with a wall of indifference.

"Go." I told him, "Go now and don't come back until the message is delivered." he went, leabing me standing there with the mess that I made of my life, of something I once hoped could be a friendship.

The front door burst opended no sooner then the moment he left, the brother walking in taking in the destrusction. I could feel their eyes taking in my appearance, looking for even a hair out of place but finding none.

"Where is he?" Dean growled, looking at the man size dent in the wall.

"He left," I shrugged my shoulders and forced a smile "Don't worry Dean, I'm sure he'll be back"

AN: know its not much but, it's something... right? :/
Song is by florence & the Machine :)