Disclaimer: I don't own the Mass Effect universe or Bioware.

«Extra: SSV Normandy: Vehicle Bay»

«or Technophobia»

Tali tried to wipe the sweat from her brow as she stood beside the Mako but found it difficult with her helmet and respirator blocking her hand and head. The suit was cool enough with its own built in cooling system, but it could only cool her off so much before it wasted all of her energy. As a quarian, she had learned from a young age to conserve as much as she could. The equipment she was used to working with had a possibility of breaking down at any moment if handled incorrectly. She knew how to make every machine work past their breaking point and make them last as long as they could.

So, when she came onboard the Normandy, she was in for a shock. She could say that it was refreshing to work with equipment that wouldn't break anytime soon. But it was also a major change. Now she could spend as much time on the equipment, working out every problem. Now she doesn't have to prioritize everything by what needs her attention the most. She could spend as much time as she needed.

Which was why she was especially excited for what came next.

"How're you doing, Garrus?" Tali called.

"Almost done!" Garrus cried out from within the Mako.

"Thanks again for doing this, Garrus," Tali said for what seemed the hundredth time.

"No problem," Garrus said. "This was a great idea! Especially since the landing last time was…eventful."

"I'd do it myself but I'm not really familiar with human technology," Tali explained. "Plus, I don't think it would be alright for a quarian to be seen snooping around an Alliance vehicle. People might get the wrong idea."

"I can see where you would get the impression, but I don't think you have all that much to worry about," Garrus said.

"Why's that?" Tali asked. Garrus peeked his head through the entry hole on the roof of the Mako.

"Considering the fact that we have a krogan on board, I'm sure that this crew is pretty laid back about that kind of thing," Garrus answered.

Tali nodded and moved one of her fingers across her face in a curved motion, which conveyed a smile and Garrus repeated this motion back at her before disappearing back within the Mako. It was a hand signal that Tali and Garrus had come up with. Since it was nearly impossible to see Tali's facial expressions, Garrus had suggested that they both use hand signals to convey their expressions. Even Garrus used it even though he didn't need to, something that Tali was grateful for. He made sure that she didn't feel like an outcast.

"Do you think the Commander will like it?" Tali asked. Garrus was quiet for a moment.

"Do you really think I can answer that?" Garrus asked.

Tali sighed. It was true. Despite the time they all shared with him, they knew almost nothing about the Commander. Every time they were around him, something would happen that would shatter everything they knew already about him. The Commander…John Shepard…was truly an enigma of some kind.

There was a large electrical crackle sound and a cry of pain.

"Garrus, are you alright?" Tali asked.

Garrus poked his head out, sucking his finger and gave her a thumbs-up sign.

"It's all good!" Garrus told her as he climbed out of the Mako and dropped onto the metal ground, wiping his hands.

"Shepard should be here any minute," Tali said. As if on cue, the elevator began to move as someone descended from the crew quarters to the engineering deck. Garrus walked up to stand beside Tali. Tali glanced up and noticed a small speck of grease. Tali reached up and wiped it away.

"Thanks," Garrus whispered.

The door for the elevator opened and Shepard strode forward, holding a stack of papers under his arm. He walked towards the two, smiling briefly and nodding to each of them in turn.

"Garrus, Tali," Shepard greeted them. "How're things?"

"It's all been fine, thanks Commander," Garrus replied.

"Everyone's been really kind to us," Tali said.

"They better," Shepard said. "So what exactly do you want to show me?"

"This," Garrus said as he moved to the nearby console by the Mako. He pressed a button and began to speak. "On."

The Mako began to rev and fired up, it's engines a large boom as it echoed through the entire level.

"Did you make the Mako voice activated?" Shepard asked. He was only joking and knew that Garrus and Tali wouldn't have called him down there without a good reason.

"Just wait," Tali told him.

"Give me a head count," Garrus asked. "Of the people within five feet of the Mako."

"Reading three life signatures within five feet of the Mako," a cool, soft and lulling voice replied. Shepard smiled.

"You put a VI in the Mako," Shepard stated. "A Virtual Intelligence."

"Exactly," Garrus said proudly.

"I noticed that on Therum, we had to rely on natural reflexes and intuition to guide the Mako down when it was dropped from the Normandy," Tali said. "As you could remember…it wasn't very…enjoyable."

"Frankly, sir, it scared the shit out of us," Garrus said.

"Really?" Shepard asked. "I thought it was fun as hell."

"It wasn't, sir," Garrus replied.

Shepard looked at him for a moment.

"You sure?" Shepard asked.

"Yes sir," Garrus replied.

"Be that as it may," Tali interrupted. "Natural minds cannot handle the amount of information that needs to be processed in order to land the Mako safely. The timing has to be perfect. We launch the thrusters too early, they give out too early and we gain enough momentum to crush us. We launch them too late, it won't make a difference."

"Really?" Shepard scratched his head. "I've just been pulling the lever when we see the ground."

"My point exactly," Tali said. "So, I designed this VI to help us out. All it will do is provide support in calculating the numbers. It can also control the Mako when need be and provide firing support when need be. It'll provide an up-to-date analysis of the Mako's status, making sure it is in good condition. Basically, whatever you want it to do, it'll do."

"Can it give me a back rub?" Shepard asked.

"No sir," Tali said, smiling.

"I am unable to give you a back rub, Commander," the voice stated. "Because I do not have the body to do so. But if you would like, I can summon someone else to give you one. A female, if you prefer."

"If you could find Saren for me, that'd be wonderful," Shepard said.

"Apologies, I am unable to find the former Spectre, Saren Arterius," the VI stated. "But if you would like, I could-"

"Shut up," Shepard said.

Shepard examined the Mako for a moment.

"Are its intelligence levels acceptable?" Shepard asked.

"To what?" Tali asked.

"Citadel regulations," Garrus said. "The Citadel defines the line between VI and AI. And yes, Commander, its intelligence levels are well below the AI line."

"Rest assured Commander, I will not grow self-aware and try to kill you all," the VI said.

"That's comforting," Shepard muttered.

"I'm glad that I could be of help to you," the VI said emotionlessly.

"What's its name?" Shepard asked. Tali straightened proudly.

"Well," Garrus said. "We thought that since this is a human ship, it should have a human name. We checked the archives and researched names. One name kept coming up on our search, so we named it that."

"What?" Shepard asked.

"We named it Hal-9000, or Hal for short," Tali finished, brimming with pride. Shepard looked at the Mako for a moment. Then turned towards the two.

"You named a VI in charge of one of the deadliest weapons on this ship Hal?" Shepard asked slowly.

Tali and Garrus nodded, smiling.

Shepard slowly turned back to look at the Mako, silent for a long time. Tali and Garrus nervously looked at each other. Shepard continued to stare at the Mako.

"So?" Tali asked. "What do you think?" Shepard was silent.

"I think it 's great!" Shepard said, smiling. "This will make landing in the Mako so much simpler!"

"So you like it?" Tali asked, excited.

"Of course," Shepard said. "Glad you thought of it!"

Tali's Omni-Tool chimed and she checked it.

"I have to go," Tali said. "Adams needs me." She rushed to the Engine room.

"Hey, Tali," Shepard called. Tali turned. "Good job."

Tali straightened proudly and continued to the Engine room. Garrus noticed a slight bounce in her steps. Garrus stood next to Shepard for a moment longer.

"I have things to take care of," Garrus said and walked away, leaving Shepard to examine the Mako.

"You don't like the name, do you Commander?" Hal asked.

"No, Hal," Shepard said.

"Why did you lie to them, Commander?" Hal asked. Shepard thought for a moment.

"Because they were so damn excited," Shepard said.

"I've checked the Archives," Hal said. "Hal was the name of an Artificial Intelligence that tried to kill the members of its crew. I believe that it was from an old 20th century movie called 2001: A Space Odyssey."

"Yes, Hal," Shepard said.

"I promise you, you don't have to worry about that from me, Commander," Hal said.

"Make sure I don't," Shepard said, rubbing his eyes. He was tired.

"If you'd like, I can respond to a different name. One you are more comfortable with," Hal said.

"That won't be necessary, Hal," Shepard sighed.

There was a brief moment of silence.

"Would you like to hear a song?" Hal asked. Shepard thought for a moment.

"Fire away," Shepard said.

"Daisy…daisy…" Hal sang.

"Shut up, Hal," Shepard snapped.

"If I had a mouth, I could be able to shut it, sir," Hal said. "But since I don't, I cannot shut up."

Shepard's eye twitched.

"I think you and I are going to get along just fine, Hal," Shepard lied.

"I can hear the sarcasm in your voice, sir," Hal stated.

"Noted," Shepard said through his teeth.

Cool! Two extras in a row!

I've realized now that these extras can fill in details that I couldn't place anywhere else in the story. When I first introduced them, I was mainly going to use them as side-stories that have nothing to do with the main storyline. But that is pretty much impossible (everything is part of a story). So, now I guess I'll place little tid-bits of information and character development that I couldn't place anywhere else. Which is pretty much what I've been doing anyhow.

So I'm introducing a new character named Hal. It'll just be mostly used for comic relief and stuff. I'll probably have him go through some character development later.

If you haven't seen 2001: A Space Odyssey, you should. Even today, it's a classic. I know, you all probably think that is a long-ass movie (god it was) but it's probably the most abstract movie out there. You're not supposed to focus solely on the plot but understand the message Kubrick was trying to convey. That's my opinion, of course. We all know Kubrick was crazy.

In case you don't know, in the movie, when Hal was being shut down, he reverts backwards in intelligence and begins singing the first song he learned which was the Daisy song.

Saw Terminator Salvation the other day. It was pretty good. Made up for the god-awful T3 that came out. The references to the other movies were awesome. I also saw Up the other day. It was pretty cute.

SQUIRREL!

Also in case you couldn't guess, technophobia is the fear of technology.