Thanks for the reviews. Give more critiques please. I would like to see what I am doing wrong!
I'm trying to get ALL my stories going faster, but it's hard with a life and family problems and school stuff. I'm working on it. Remember, my brain is dead :/ haha
For all those talking about Troy and Gabriella's love not being so perfect right now:
It's not supposed to be! They're having problems, growing as a couple, going through new situations. I understand you're pissed about Troy's actions and Gabriella's reactions, but that is good. I'm getting a response from you, its kind of what every writer wants. Remember, I'm going for REALISTIC.
I'll handle it, don't worry.
Review please.
Named Almost Lover by A Fine Frenzy because the title fits but not the lyrics.
I ran down the hall with Robbie at my side, laughing as we went. "Sh!" I commanded, leaning into the doorway of the random room.
"Are you sure you saw them?" Robbie questioned, leaning over me to see down the hall.
I nodded. "I didn't see them, I heard Alex's voice. I know my brothers, trust me," I assured him. "You think we're good to go? We have to keep moving, it's one of the rules," I reminded him.
Robbie chuckled. "I know, Gab, one sec," he replied, still looking.
Playing hide and seek on board is a Montez tradition. However, not all of us play like we used to. Actually, the only one's who don't play anymore are the three oldest. Marc, Luke, Vince, Alex, and I love it. This year we added Taylor, Robbie, and Cody. The teams are Marc and Luke, Taylor and Cody, Vince and Alex, and lastly Robbie and I. Felix is too busy hanging out with Belle and Serena because they're buying him drinks. Mami knows about it, she's set a drink limit. Hey, he'll be twenty one sooner than the rest of us.
"I think we're good, I say we take the stairs-"
"The stairs?" I cut him off. "Do you know how big this ship is? Hell no," I denied.
Robbie laughed as he towered over me. He's so tall. "One floor, Gabi, we're going down," he informed me. "Besides, we are on a one big ass ship, I doubt people are taking the steps around because the elevators are so easy to use. And, I bet everyone is making big leaps around so they do keep moving and don't get caught. Moving one floor or so is better and we know around where Vince and Alex are. I'm betting they'll leave this floor and go more than one floor up or down," he explained to me.
"Okay, when did you join the Marines?" I laughed. "Because that sure is some good strategizing," I complimented.
Robbie laughed again. "No Marines, but I do go paint-balling," he corrected me. "Not to mention a lot of water gun fights as a kid," he added on.
"I participate in water gun fights too, you know. I usually lose though, so we'll go with your plan," I said as I pushed off the wall.
"Good choice," Robbie agreed, grabbing my hand as we speed-walked down the hall to the stairwell.
I thought about moving my hand, but did it matter? We're friends. He knows I have a boyfriend. It's not like he's sticking his tongue down my throat. I've held Chad's hand, and Ryan's and even Zeke's before. "Wait!" I whisper-yelled. Robbie immediately stopped. I turned and saw Vince's hair poking out from behind a wall.
Robbie saw too. "Go!" he practically shouted and we began running with Vin and Al right behind us. Our hands unlinked as we ran. We managed to slip inside the elevator before the doors closed. We stumbled in laughing. "Wow," he laughed, keeping an arm around me. "How did you hear them?" he wondered.
"I heard a snicker. I told you, I know my brothers," I repeated. I left Robbie's grip and went to look over the side of the glass elevator. I didn't see anyone we knew over the promenade, then again, it's huge and I doubt I'd recognize them from up here, plus we're moving.
"This week is going by so fast," Robbie commented from behind me. I jumped and turned. He was close to me, but I didn't mind. "It's already Thursday," he mentioned.
I nodded. "I know," I mumbled. Thinking about leaving Sunday is sad because this vacation has been so much fun with Robbie and Cody. Tay and I have hung out with them almost the entire time. The only ones who have met him are the people playing this game because Belle and Serena are always off in some bar with Felix, all three complaining about missing their significant others. I have been taking the opposite approach.
I'm having fun without Troy. Honestly, I do miss him. Admittedly, I miss him a lot, but I know I'll be seeing him either Sunday night or sometime Monday. I'm having fun instead of wallowing in self misery about how pissed I am at my relationship situation. I'm sick of feeling insecure with Brittany, I'm sick of feeling sorry I feel that way, I hate apologizing for it, and I'm sick of Troy acting like him comforting Brittany all night just because she was crying is okay. It's not okay because we both know she likes him, she used him that night, and he let her. I understand that he lost his virginity to her so he feels something for her; I would feel the same if I didn't lose my virginity to Troy, but he crossed a line. If every time I know a girl likes Troy and he just continues to hang around her and act like she doesn't and tells me I shouldn't have a problem with it then we are going to have big problems in college. Troy wouldn't like it if for some reason Hunter showed up at my house upset over something and I spent the entire night making him feel better instead of meeting up with him for a date, I know he wouldn't. I know he wouldn't so I would at least tell Troy what I am doing if I think I should continue to do it, or I would tell Hunter that I can't be that person for him out of respect for Troy. Troy, on the other hand, obviously didn't think to do the same.
"Hey, you okay?" Robbie broke me from my thoughts.
"Yeah," I breathed, letting out a long puff of air. "Sorry, I was just thinking about home," I confessed.
"Boyfriend?" Robbie questioned as we walked down some random hall.
I nodded. "Yeah, but I'm trying to have fun so we're not going to talk about him," I insisted, going through a door to the outside. "What time is it? We said at two the game is going on pause so we can all go to lunch," I said aloud.
Robbie checked his watch. "Actually, it's just about two now," he informed me. "We should head up and save a table, The Windjammer is always packed," he suggested, and then began leading me towards another set of elevators. "Are we still on tonight to go see a movie after dinner?" he wondered.
"My mom okayed it," I told him. "Tay and I will just probably want to change because tonight is one of the formal nights. My mom wants to get those special pictures taken so we have to look extra pretty," I commented.
We stepped inside the elevator. "I'm sure you'll have no trouble looking pretty, Gab," Robbie assured me.
I smiled. I'm not used to getting compliments from guys that aren't family or friends. Robbie is a friend, but he's not exactly Chad either. "How is it you don't have a girlfriend back home?" I questioned.
"I had one," Robbie corrected. "We just broke up before graduation because we knew it wouldn't work in college. I'm off to Brown and she's going to SC," he informed me. "We didn't love each other enough to make it work," he added.
"You see, love isn't my problem," I began to open up. "I know my boyfriend and I love each other more than anything, and it's real, not some high school thing. Other things are our problems," I said.
We sat down at a four-person table so Taylor and Cody can join. They'll find us. "You can tell me if you want. I'm a guy, I can add my perspective on it, even if I'm not your boyfriend," he volunteered.
I shrugged. He might actually be able to help. "Okay, you have a bitchy ex named Brittany and she comes to your house crying about her parents and shit, but we're supposed to meet because I'm leaving for vacation. You don't call or text me to tell me what is going on. You just blow me off then expect me to understand because she's your ex, and you love me, and I should know it, and you were too nice to turn her away," I filled him in. "Go."
Robbie was quiet for a minute or two. "Well, for one, he should have at least texted you," he said.
"I know!" I exclaimed. I know I am right with that one!
"You did tell me what was going on, but I don't know your boyfriend so I can't exactly speak on his behalf. Anyways, just so you know, a crying girl is hard to turn away, ex or not," he stated.
I rolled my eyes. "But, she used him to climb the frickin' social ladder AND cheated on him, but he didn't know what until after," I insisted. "He was never in love with her, but it still had to hurt."
"Well, you said he is a nice guy, and I'm thinkin' you're the kind of girl who likes nice guys. He probably forgives easily and also if he really is in love with you, then he probably doesn't give two shits about his past with her because of you. He's in love with you; you think he honestly cares what this girl did to him in the past? She's not you and you're probably not like her, so he doesn't give a shit anymore," Robbie told me.
I let out a breath. "So, you're saying because he's in love with me he doesn't care about his past with her?" I questioned.
"You're the one he's really in love with; she is just a past girlfriend that ended badly. On the other hand, if you did those things to him and he does love you for real, then he would carry that around. But, just a girlfriend you didn't love did that shit and is now back in your life? It's not a big deal to him, it is to you as the present girlfriend," he said. "As for why he didn't text or call, he was probably scared of how you would react, I mean, you obviously don't like this girl. He was most likely thinking of a way to tell you when you came over. I mean, I'd be scared to tell my girl I'm hanging out with my ex," he admitted.
I nodded. "I'm just sick of everything having to do with her. I shouldn't feel the way I do when he acts the way he does around her?" I asked. "I understand he's nice, I'm nice too, but that doesn't mean I'm letting other guys flirt with me and hurting his feelings," I muttered.
"I can't answer everything, Gab. I'm not him, but if you were my girl, I would have told my ex to leave. If I'm not her boyfriend anymore, then I don't have to deal with her crying bullshit anymore either," he told me.
I looked away just to see Taylor and Cody heading our way, already with plates in their hands. "Hey," Taylor greeted, pulling out a chair. "You guys can go get some food now. Thanks for grabbing the seats," she told us.
"Yeah, okay," I agreed, then left to get food with Robbie.
I like Robbie. I do, but I don't want him as anything other than a friend. I love Troy with everything in me, that won't change even if we are going through a huge rough patch. I don't know how Robbie feels about me though. To think he likes me just because he holds my hand sometimes and touches my back sometimes is jumping to conclusions. Besides, I won't see him again in, like, three days. I'm not going to stop hanging around him because I don't know how he feels about me. That's dumb. If I was single and I knew he did like me, maybe this could have been one of this cruise flings, but I'm not so I'm definitely not looking for that. Besides, if Troy can hang out with a girl knowing she likes him, why can't I do the same?
"Have you seen those earrings I bought on the first land day?" I asked Taylor later that night as we got ready for dinner.
"The feathery ones?" Taylor called back. My sister's are getting ready in my mom's room, thank God. Our room is a disaster area and too small for all four of us to get ready at once in.
I nodded silently as I added on a few bracelet accessories. "Yeah," I added verbally. My outfit is something I bought just before we left Albuquerque. It's a pair of black liquid leggings and a salmony-pink colored dress that reaches just about less than mid-thigh and has glitter splotches all over it. It has straps and a u-neck to it, so I won't get overheated in the packed dining room. My shoes are gladiator style and black to match my leggings and my nails (with silver tips, it's opposite on my toes). Mami treated the girls to mani/pedis today because she is getting pictures taken. I accessorized with a lot of dark bangle bracelets and a ring or two. I clipped my hair to the back of my head, but left some curly bangs to frame my face.
"Here," Taylor entered the bathroom with my pinky feathered earrings. "You look bangin', G," she told me as I put my earrings in.
"Thanks, back at ya, babe," I replied. Taylor's wearing a white dress that puffed out at the waist and went to her knees. It had black lacing at the waist and the bottom. Her hair was down and curly with a white headband. It's very her. "How long until we have to head down?" I asked, looking myself once over. My make up looked good, smokey as usual.
Tay looked at the silver watch on her wrist. "About ten minutes?" she guessed.
"We're done early? Score," I mentioned with a smile.
Taylor nodded with a laugh. "I've been debating whether or not to tell you something Chad told me today," she admitted.
I leaned against the sink. "About Troy?" I asked.
"Yeah," she admitted. Taylor's mom said she could call home on Tuesday and Thursday. She decided to call her parents Tuesday and Chad today. I talked to him for a minute to say hello, then left to hang with Robbie and Cody so she could have alone time with him, even if it is over the phone. We went through the promenade and tried on a bunch of sunglasses and took weird pictures with my camera as we wore them. I bought a pair of heart-shaped ones.
"You can tell me. I'm still so upset and confused in my head, it might help, I don't know," I sighed. I still have so much to think over in my head. Talking to Troy when I get back will help, this I know, because we obviously have a lot to work out, but this alone time in my head is good too. Knowing this info could help and honestly, I want to know how is acting at home. He's right, I told Shar to pay close attention. I'm a girl, like I wouldn't pull the best friend help out?
Taylor nodded. "He said that Troy's been quiet all week and he always looks deep in thought. He's barely hung out with the guys. He just goes to work and goes home," she filled me in.
"I expected him to be upset," I replied. That was easy to assume. Good, he deserves it after how he has been treating me, but I guess I deserve a bit of a mood kill for letting him. I just didn't see it happening until I couldn't sleep and thought everything over too many times. You would think I would see what was going on since I'm such a quick person, but we all make mistakes.
"Well, he's hung out with Chad a few times, of course," Taylor went on. They're like brothers, duh. "I don't find it so weird, but Chad said you might. Apparently, Troy's been talking about his dad a lot, is that weird?" she questioned.
I stood up a little straighter. "Actually, yeah," I told her. "Troy practically hates his dad." Hate is a strong word. The way things keep going between them it will be hate eventually.
"Chad says he's been comparing himself to his dad," Taylor told me.
"What? Why?" I demanded to know.
Taylor shrugged. "I don't know, Chad just said it was annoying him. He's getting worried because Troy's nothing like his dad and now he thinks he's turning into him or something," she said.
I opened my mouth, but nothing came out. Troy may be treating me bad as of late with Brittany, but he's not his dad. He shouldn't think that. "No matter what we're going through, I don't want him thinking that way," I mumbled.
"We should get going," Taylor suggested and lead us out of the bathroom.
"Hey, I don't think my brother's will complain about my outfit since I'm not actually showing any leg," I commented as we turned off the lights after grabbing our clutches and left. Taylor just laughed in response. It was a nice change of topic Taylor went with. She is my best friend, she knows me well.
Pictures took forever as they do every year we get them done. We did one with all the siblings and arranging us took about ten minutes. Then, we took one with only the sister's. Again, arranging takes time. The brother's took a picture as well. We also took one with our mom, with the girls, then just the boys, then all together. Also, one with Taylor and us girls, Taylor in with the entire family, and just one with Taylor and me. By the end we were all complaining and we hadn't even eaten dinner yet.
Dinner is surprisingly fun on these vacations. We're all so scattered throughout the day that it's our time to catch up. Mami's rule is that we can do as we please during the day on board as long as we have dinner every night in the dining room. Apparently, Marc and Luke met twin girls and are in love. Vince and Alex are actually going to their camps and like it, mainly due to the easy access to girls. Vince is playing the field, the twins are proud. Tay and I are always off with Robbie and Cody. Mami is usually hanging with Serena and Belle and Felix, plus she made a friend or two as well.
I remember when we came on these vacations and Mami and Papi would be all over each other. When I was younger, I always had to hang around Belle and Serena and Vince and Al always had to be with Felix so our parents could do their own thing. Of course, we younger siblings did spend a lot of time together, but I remember seeing them make out on top deck as they overlooked the ocean and holding hands on land days. Papi would always buy her something in the jewelry store on board, it was like tradition.
I didn't realize how much I missed my dad until that moment at dinner. Troy's right, I have to talk to him and the longer I take the harder it will be. I just don't know when I'll get up enough courage to go see him after what I did when I last saw him. I was so mean.
"Hey, you okay?" Taylor asked, breaking my train of thought.
"Oh, yeah, sorry," I apologized, clearing my throat.
"I don't think we'll have enough time to change before the movie, those pictures took a while. Should we call the guys' room and tell them we can't make it or just go?" she wondered.
I shrugged. "I'm comfy in what I'm wearing, you?" I replied. She nodded. "Then, we should just go meet them," I suggested. "I mean, we'll be sitting almost the entire time anyways."
"True," Taylor agreed.
"What are you two talking about over there?" my mom asked from down the table.
I sipped my coke. "We're going to the movies after dinner, remember?" I responded.
"We're on freakin' cruise ship and you go to the movies?" Lucas laughed with his mouth full.
Taylor and I rolled our eyes. "There isn't much to do after dinner except watch drunken karaoke, plus Tay and I have eleven o'clock curfew since we're under eighteen," I reminded him.
"Watching Belle and Serena's duet was pretty funny though," Taylor commented, making me laugh in agreement. Belle and Serena decided to reenact the movie Selena while they were drunk Monday night. I took video and pictures, don't worry.
"Can we come?" Alex begged on behalf of him and Vince.
I shook my head. "Nope, go bother someone else," I answered.
"Gabriella," my mom gave me a warning.
"What?" I questioned. "I've hung out with them a lot, can't Felix take them around? The only people he's hung out with are Belle, Serena, and bartenders," I informed her.
"Hey," Felix objected. "I've hung out with Mami too," he corrected me. No fair, we've all hung out with Mami!
Mami turned to him. "Gabi's right, why don't you hang out with your little brothers tonight?" she suggested.
"Little?" Marc and Luke questioned together because they'll be included.
Everyone ignored them. "Yeah! We can go to the arcade!" Alex exclaimed happily.
Felix looked pained in the face. "Uh, sure, until your curfew," he mumbled grumpily.
After dinner we all split up to go do our own thing. Tay and I went off in search of the movie theatre on deck four somewhere. When we got there we found that Robbie and Cody weren't even there yet.
"We rush AND don't change, and they're late?" Taylor mentioned. "Stupid boys," she sighed.
I laughed, leaning against the wall. "My toes are numb, I'm good," I replied. "Oh, there they are," I added, nodding my head towards the oncoming boys. "Barely two minutes late," I joked to my friend.
They had four drinks in their hands, two each. "We stopped for necessities," Cody informed us, handing one to Tay while Robbie gave me one.
"Thanks!" Tay and I replied, already sipping on them. I noticed the guys were still in their dress up clothes as well, both in black slacks and button ups with the sleeves rolled up.
"Ready for this movie?" Robbie wondered, nudging me slightly.
I nodded while swallowing. "Yeah, I forget what it's called, but yeah!" I answered, sipping the virgin strawberry daiquiri again.
"Well, you guys look beautiful," Cody complimented a moment later.
We both smiled. "Took ten minutes," Taylor joked, stirring her icy drink.
"Bullshit," Cody called out, making us all laugh. "Oh, we should play bullshit, we brought a card deck," he added as an afterthought.
"I'm up for it, I kick ass at card games," I mentioned. "Should we go in?" I questioned, nodding towards the theatre. "We need to find four seats," I reminded them.
We all filed in, the place wasn't packed, but it was mildly full. We found four seats open in the second row and sat down Cody, Taylor, me, then Robbie. I immediately took my shoes off. Cody is so cute, in a brotherly kind of way. He's eighteen like Robbie, they are best friends. Cody has this adorable girlfriend back home, Alyssa, who he already misses. She's our age and hates that Cody is going away for a week since he is leaving for college soon. Robbie says she and Cody literally are in love and it makes him want to throw up. It's another reason he broke up with his girlfriend. He realized he didn't look at her the way Cody looks at Alyssa. That was enough for him. We talked about it at lunch. Then, the hide and seek carried on. Per usual, the twins won, damn them.
Robbie and I spent the entire movie talking. We're movie talkers, Cody and Taylor are not, which is why we sat this way. The movie was Taxi with Queen Latifah and Jimmy Fallon. I've seen it before, but it's still a laugh. Robbie and I were laughing our asses off. After, we grabbed ice cream since it wasn't quite curfew yet. Somehow, we began talking about Dane Cook after.
"He was like 'I believe I was in the Civil War'," I impersonated.
Robbie laughed with my feet in his lap. "Yeah and then he talks about the History Channel.'There's James!'," he said while pointing, making me laugh harder.
I nodded. "'Lloyd, you fangled toothed motherfucker!'," I continued, and then licked my chocolate ice cream.
"We're back," Tay announced, walking up with Cody at her side. They both went off in search of a bathroom, then to get their ice cream. "What are we talking about now?" she asked, spooning some ice cream into her mouth.
I saw the best friend look she got when she saw my feet in Robbie's lap and his hand over my ankles. I sat up and removed my feet without a word while Robbie answered, "Dane Cook."
It's not wrong for me to be friendly with another guy, it's not like we're making out and I'm sitting in his lap as we do it. If it's not wrong, then why did Taylor just make me feel guilty, even if she didn't mean to? "I fucking love him," Cody stated, licking his own cone. "'I swear on my unborn child I did not eat your ice cream!'" he quoted.
Robbie laughed harder. "And then he talks about if his first child did die," he continued.
I laughed and nodded silently while peaking at Taylor's watch. Twenty minutes until curfew. "Personally, I love the Oprah parts," I carried on the conversation.
"I want to be Oprah one day," Taylor commented. "Do not make fun of my idol in my presence," she ordered jokingly.
"Oh, the girlfriend torpedo part is completely true!" I exclaimed. "I have done it before without even knowing it," I admitted.
The boys laughed. "What torpedo did you lay in Troy?" Cody wondered.
I sat up more as I tried not to laugh. "It was back in the school year and we were fighting about him cancelling on me to hang out with the guys because they were riding his ass about being whipped-"
"Which he totally is," Taylor broke in.
I ignored her, but the guys laughed again. "And as we began to storm away angrily I said 'you are just like your friends' and left. An hour later he fell coming up my balcony, finally made it there, then began fighting with me about how much he loves his friends and I like them too," I explained. "Later, after we made up I was thinking about it and realized I totally Dane Cooked him," I finished.
"That should be a new verb," Robbie spoke up. "To Dane Cook a guy, because it does happen. Aubree Dane Cooked me before," he confessed. Aubree is his ex.
We laughed. "Alyssa's done it to me," Cody agreed.
"I do it to Chad all the time," Taylor added on. "But on that note, we should get to our cabins, it's about that time," she informed us.
I wiped my hands on my napkin one more time as I stood and threw it away in the conveniently placed trashcan. We hugged goodbye and said we'd see each other tomorrow night. Tomorrow is a land day, so we'll be with our families, of course.
As soon as Tay and I got back to the room we turned the TV on to E! (one of the only good channels the TV's here get) and began to dress down. I changed into a pair of short shorts and one of Troy's t-shirts I stole to bring. It smelled like him and inwardly, I loved it. We took our make up off and brushed out the hairspray. I put my hair up in a sloppy bun as Tay climbed up to her top bunk. Our room has two beds and two bunks that come out of the ceiling. Being the youngest, we both got one. They're actually quite comfy, just a bitch to get up on.
"Why are you smelling yourself?" Tay wondered in a laugh as I curled into myself once I got into my bed.
Suddenly, with everything going on, I wanted to cry. "I miss Troy," I squeaked back, coughing a little as I did. "What's wrong with me, Taylor? He's been treating me like shit and I just let him, but I miss him?" I questioned. Taylor began to make her away down the awkward ladder. "I miss his voice and his hands and his face and the way his lips curl when he smiles. I miss the tone he says my name in a-a-and fuck, I miss his skin, how fucking weird is that?" I went on as Taylor came up my ladder.
She hugged me close for a moment. I wasn't blubbering, I refuse to full on girlie cry, but a few tears escaped. "You miss him because you're in love with him," she whispered against my shoulder.
"I do," I sniffled, pulling away a little, wiping my eyes as soon as we parted. "I miss how affectionate he is, not all boyfriends are like that. I miss everything, but why? I'll see him ag-gain a-and we-we'll talk and everything will be b-b-better," I began to suck in air.
"Okay, Gabriella calm down," Taylor instructed, rubbing my back. "You have every right to be upset and pissed off and feel like beating his ass next time you see him now that you really see what has been going on this summer with Brittany," she assured me as I tried to steady my breathing. When I get really upset as I cry I begin to take in too much air because feel like I can't breathe. It feels horrible, honestly, like I'm dying.
I nodded. "Why didn't you and Sharpay t-tell me? H-h-help me?" I stuttered. I have yet to break down because of my situation and I don't know why it's happening now, but I need to get everything out.
"Because, every time you two fought about it you made up then were happy for a while, even normal, then you would fight about it again and do the same thing. It was a circle we didn't notice until it was too late to," she told me. "Then, the whole Hunter thing happened and we thought it was done," she added.
"Me too," I mumbled. "I thought he under-st-stood," I shook my head. "He said he got it, what it felt like to see the person you love be with another person like that," I began to ramble. "I'm just so confused and hurt and I fucking miss him more than I want to and my shirt smells like him," I cried.
Taylor just patted my back because she knew she couldn't take the pain away or make it better.
"I just want to hear his voice say my name or that he loves me, hell I want both. Why am I so weak after the way he treated me?" I questioned.
"Because you're in love with him," Taylor answered simply. "It's like when abused girls miss their abusers, not that Troy abuses you, of course. You can't help it. I miss Chad like mad too, but we left on perfectly fine terms and we've been apart for longer and we've been together forever so I'm fine," it felt like she gloated. I wish I was on perfectly fine terms with my boyfriend. "Do you remember how I told you I went to second base with-"
"Shawn Collins. Yes, yes, I know," I interrupted her. Shawn Collins was in the twins' grade and really effin hott, like supermodel hott, really. Then, last year he moved to California, but before he did he got mad ass from the girls at East High because they all wanted to say they slept with someone that hott. Anyways, Taylor went to second base with him when she broke up with Chad and smiled for a week. Chad, however, was pissed and still hates him to this day. It's an inferiority complex thing, Shawn was that good looking.
"And kissing him and a few other boys made me realize Chad was my guy," she continued.
"Tay, we went over this the first day, I remember," I reminded her.
She nodded. "Who is the only guy you've kissed, really kissed and actually remember it," she challenged.
I sighed. "Troy," I answered to please her.
"What do you feel when you kiss him?" she wondered.
I bit my lip. "Everything," I muttered. "I feel butterflies and these fireworks shoot from head to toe and it's like electricity," I tried to explain. "It's great and that's only a kiss," I added.
"What did you feel with you kissed Evan Brooks or Ryan or even that one guy you dated in eighth grade?" she asked.
I shrugged. "I dunno, nothing really, I don't remember," I told her.
"Exactly," she replied. Huh. "You don't know, you don't remember, you don't know what its like," she said.
"Obviously, I'm no cheater and Troy's been my only boyfriend and I love him," I felt the need to defend myself.
She nodded. "Gabi, I am in no way saying you do not love Troy with all your heart," she assured me. I nodded. "But you don't know what the difference is," she insisted.
"Difference of what? I'm confused!" I told her.
Taylor grabbed my hands. "The difference between you and Brittany, the difference between Troy and some other guy," she informed me. "Do you like Robbie, Gabs?" she questioned.
"...as a friend?" I responded.
"No, do you like him like you liked Troy when you first met him?" she corrected me.
"I..." I trailed off. "No, not really," I said. "With Troy, I was frozen and so amazed by his eyes and my hand was so perfect in his and I just couldn't get enough of him. Before I even knew him I missed being around him when I wasn't, I just didn't know what that was at the time. Then, every time he touched me I was on fire and so excited and pissed off and emotional," I went on with a slight smile. "He's made me feel things I never had before. With Robbie, he's fun to be around, even easy to be around," I thought about it. "He's sweet and I did notice his eyes when we met, but I only thought they weren't as good as Troy's," I rambled. "He's really tall and yeah, I guess he's cute. We are into some of the same things and have the same sense of humor, I can't deny that," I looked up at Taylor and stopped. "What are you getting at?"
Taylor smiled. "I'm getting at that since we've been around him I've noticed things. You've held his hand and put your feet in his lap and you guys get along so well. He's always looking at you with his weird smile and you both laugh at the same things. During that movie you two acted like you'd known each other forever. Robbie is so genuine with you, it's adorable," she told me.
"Are you saying Robbie likes me? I was thinking about that and it's dumb. I'm with Troy and-"
"And Troy's been treating you like shit for half the summer," Taylor broke into my sentence. "Even if neither of you realized it, it's the truth. Troy understands the difference between you and Brittany because he's kissed not only other girls, but he's kissed her, hell he lost his virginity to her," she went on.
"Oh, yeah, Tay, this helps so much," I told her.
She ignored me. "To him, he didn't get why you were so upset because he understands the difference, you don't and won't until you... kiss Robbie," she stated.
"I- huh!" I almost yelled. "Kiss Ro- are you serious?" I demanded to know, taking my hands away from her.
She nodded. "Yes, Gabi, do it, you need to know the difference," she urged. "If there is a difference," she added softly.
"IF?" I exclaimed. "Taylor, I love Troy!" I reminded her.
"But do you know he's different?" she challenged. "Gabriella, look at me," she ordered and I did. "After talking about all of this right now can you honestly say you know whether or not Troy is your only love or just your first love?"
I bit my lip and that was enough for Taylor to know she had me doubting now.
"We should go to sleep, we're getting up early," she mentioned, already making her awkward way down the ladder, and then climbed up onto her bed.
We went to bed silently and while Taylor fell asleep fairly quickly, I was thinking. Damn her for making me feel like this, even if it is necessary.
-xoxo-
I was quiet the next day, but no one besides Taylor and maybe Vince noticed since we were on land. On land days we all go around in one big blob complaining, and buying things, and fighting.
I bought something for all my good friends, even Taylor. For Sharpay I found this beautiful pink sundress. For Ryan I found this very Ryan-y hat. For Chad I found this funny shirt I know he'll laugh at. For Zeke I found a pair of sunglasses. For Taylor I got a cute skirt. For Kelsi I got a necklace. For Troy I found these soulmate hemp bracelets. The lady who sold them to me explained it to me that way, at least. There is one for me and one for him, with one light blue stone on each. Of course, I bought my own cute sundress and jewelry as well.
The day was only good for shopping and overanalyzing my entire relationship with Troy. Everything in me says Troy is the one for me, that this is just a bad phase, a rough patch, one that we will get through. Then there is that little voice that says what if he isn't my guy? What if he is just my first love? He can't be, can he? After everything we've shared, been through, how much I feel, it can't be just my first love. Then again, I don't know all of what a first love contains. Still, this feeling deep inside, the feeling that takes up my entire body and soul can't make him just my first love, can it? I don't know.
For some reason, the only way I think I will know is if I do kiss Robbie. Taylor was right about one thing, I need to know the difference. If I kiss him and it's not like Troy even though we do have chemistry, then I know Troy is my guy. If I kiss him and it's like kissing Troy or even better, then it will only prove that Troy may not be the one. Even if that shatters my heart, I need to know and it's better to do it now with a guy I could like if there was no Troy in my life than to do it at home with a guy Troy could run into, right?
Right?
"Lala, you okay?" Vince asked as we waited for an elevator. We just got back on the ship from spending all morning and afternoon out on mainland. Its weird being on land and it will be for a week or so. I will have sea legs for that long.
I nodded. "Fine, just tired and missing home," I half-lied. It's true; I am tired and miss home and my friends and Troy. I'm also just having a personal life crisis at the moment, no biggie.
"I get that we've been out doing our own things a lot this summer, but I'm still Vinny and you're still Lala, you can talk to me," my little brother assured me.
I gave him a half hug. "Thanks, Vinny, but what I'm going through right now... I know how to handle it," I told him. "If I need you after, I'll call your room, trust me, I will," I promised. If Troy isn't my guy and my heart is breaking under a multitude of lies that I've believed for almost a year now (that Troy is my 'one') then I will be calling my mother, my sisters, Taylor, and Vince to help come pull me back together. I won't be able to handle that pain at all.
Truthfully, I want to know, I need to know, the doubt is gnawing at me like a knife slowly turning inside my heart.
All the girls piled into our room, sweaty and gross from the day of heat and family fun. Belle automatically got the shower with her being the oldest. We all sorted our gifts and such. I was so deep in thought I laid down on Belle's bed and before I could even fight for the shower, I fell asleep. It was a nice nap since I got crappy sleep last night.
"Gabi! Gabriella. Gab!" Taylor shook me awake.
"Whoa," I sat up too quickly and hit my head off the bunk above me.
"It's your turn for a shower. Your sister's already went up to get lunch," she informed me. "Are you okay? You've been un-you all day," she commented, sitting down next to me.
I rubbed my head. "Taylor, last night you managed to convince me I have to practically cheat on Troy to figure out if he's the one of not. Yeah, I'm pretty fucked up in the head right now," I stated, groaning. "I had the weirdest dream, Robbie and Troy melded into one person, but they were still half of themselves and since Robbie is so tall he had, like, six inches on Troy, but they were still one body," I explained. "So funny lookin'," I sighed.
"I'm sorry I messed everything up more even though I made total sense and am completely right," she apologized, I think.
I stood up. "On that note, I will take a shower," I mumbled, grabbing my towel.
"The guys called," Taylor told me as I opened the bathroom door. I stopped. "They want to hang from now until dinner. It's the last time we'll see them since after dinner we will be doing last minute things like packing and family stuff. I told them we'd meet them after you shower and we eat lunch," she went on. "Is that okay?" she asked.
I turned to her and nodded. "It's perfectly okay, I have to do this and it has to be Robbie," I responded.
I dressed casually after my shower, just a pair of black short shorts and a stylish jean button up that had jewely buttons. I wore some make up, but not much, pulled my long bangs to the back of my head and put on my new pair of black feathery earrings along with black flip flops of course. I gave Taylor her present already, which she wore with a pair of flip flops as well.
"I'll figure out a way to get Cody and myself out of there," Taylor was telling me as we went to meet the guys at the arcade. We ate a quick lunch.
"It can't be in the arcade," I denied with a shake of my head. "It was where Troy and I had our first kiss, I can't ruin that memory for myself," I stated firmly. I can't ruin it especially if this kiss proves Troy isn't the one; I still need that memory of our first amazing kiss to be pure.
Taylor accepted it silently. "Then, you two get out of there and go do it. Well, not literally it," she commented.
"Duh," I agreed. "Does it have to be right now? I mean, with the getting back late and showering and my nap and my getting ready, we still have two hours until we have to go get ready for dinner which really only includes me changing into that sundress I didn't feel like putting on because it shows too much cleavage for what I am about to do," I rambled for a moment. "Can was just... hang and then I can do it when it's right? I don't want to force it," I finished.
Taylor agreed again as we walked into the arcade. "Hey," she greeted, giving both the boys a hug and I did the same in return.
"So, we got you this," Cody handed Taylor a piece of paper.
"Our email addresses," Robbie said aloud. "So we can try to keep in touch. We figured phone numbers would be too weird with our parents and stuff, but we can also add on Facebook," he mentioned.
I smiled a little. I do like Robbie and Cody. They are such nice guys who kept Taylor and I busy and having fun all week. We ripped the paper in half and gave them our email addresses in return and promised to accept their friend requests. Then, we put money on our cruise cards and played a few games. Tay and I battled it out at DDR. Yeah, she won; I don't wanna talk about it. After, we had an air hockey tournament. Robbie won that one. We played a four person racing game at which Cody won and I began feeling down on myself. I'm more school smarts than street smarts; this video game thing kills my confidence. It was at that time Taylor suggested a Guitar Hero tournament and I killed everyone and that made me very happy. I was playing on Hard too.
We just walked around for a little while as well. I refused to hold Robbie's hand anymore, not that he asked, it was more of an unspoken personal decision. When we brushed knuckles (one time) I just folded my arms across my chest. I voted against swimming since I'll get more sun, I'm so dark already I don't need anymore.
It was when I stubbed my toe near the end of the night that Taylor took her opening to get me alone with Robbie. I barely noticed since my toe really fucking hurt. Robbie sat me down on the nearest bench. "You're not bleeding," he informed me from the ground.
"God, I'm such a baby. During child birth I will be crying a river," I squeaked, bringing my leg up to my chest so my foot was on the ledge of the bench and I could see my toe better. "Ah, my pedi is ruined!" I whined like a girl seeing the major chip in the paint and the crack in my toe nail.
"I don't recommend any tennis shoes for a week or so," Robbie said as he sat down next to me. "Other than that, you're good," he stated. "Where did Cody and Taylor go?" he questioned.
I bit my lip. "Uh, I think they both had to pee," I lied.
"Man, they have alike bladders," Robbie mentioned with a slight laugh. We turned to each other slightly. "I'm really gonna miss you, Gabs. What are the chances Cody and I would meet the coolest girls on vacation who live practically a country away?" he asked.
I laughed. "I think Cody would argue the coolest girls part, he does have Alyssa and technically Tay and I are geeks," I joked.
"You're not a geek in my heart," Robbie said with a smile. "You're the funny, interesting, and easy to get along with, beautiful girl I met on vacation and I'll never forget you," he swore.
In that moment, the air around us changed and I knew we both sensed it. "I'll never forget you either," my voice cracked because of what we're about to do. It was true; I'll never forget him because of this.
Robbie's mouth twisted up into a smile as I leaned closer when he did. He knew it was going to happen. We're going to kiss and he wants it. Good, hopefully that will help. What's the point in kissing a guy who doesn't want to kiss you? It wouldn't help me that much.
Our lips touched and I closed my eyes.
Dun, dun dun! OMG. Anyone hate Robbie/her?
Do you like Troy any better? I doubt it, he has some 'splaining to do next chap, huh?
So how do you think she feels?
REVIEW IT!
- Kayleigh