Chapter 25

Vocal Range

"Oh my God. Carmen Tibideaux, Sebastian. Carmen Tibideaux is going to evaluate me. I think I'm going to pee myself."

"How sexy."

"If I sell my left kidney, do you think she'll accept me into NYADA?"

"I think that your left kidney isn't worth NYADA."

"Thanks for your eternal support."

"—hey, look, if you don't get into NYADA, what's the worst that can happen?"

"I don't get to live out my dreams. I end up living on the streets, having to sell my Chanel catalogue and my body, as well as living in the stench of regret and failure every time I wake up in the morning, only to stare at the look of disappointment and pity across people's faces."

"…you know, besides that. It's okay, right? Because you know what? You'll have me, Hummel. You will have Sebastian Smythe as your fuck buddy—are you crying?"

"…no, my eyes are watering at thinking of spending a future with you."

"Leave that for the wedding."

"The wedding your Mother had organised since she figured out you were capable of dating a gentleman."

"…you? A gentleman? Yeah right."

"Oh my God. Carmen Tibideaux is gonna call my name in seventeen minutes."

"…you know what you need—"

"—no, Bas."

"—but you need it! Calm down your jitters sex."

"Might as well. My life as a prostitute is just beginning. If you want, you can also have my useless left kidney, and my right lung and—"

"I only want one organ."

"Ohhh…fuck, Bas…SEBASTIAN!"

-Later-

"…Carmen Tibideaux liked me. And I didn't have to offer her my left kidney."

"—so what you're telling me is that you're still in one piece. And I'm still in one piece, so my balls weren't cut off in rage for you possibly screwing up."

"…she said my vocal range was impressive…Bas? Rachel? Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Well, Kurt, whilst your vocal range was impressive, I think that Madame Tibideaux was talking about the screaming that consumed us seventeen minutes before your rehearsal."

"But…seventeen minutes ago, Bas and I were…SEBASTIAN! I'M GONNA TEAR OUT YOUR LEFT KIDNEY!"

"So much for staying in one piece."

"Hey, if she really wanted to hear your vocal range, Hummel, she should've seen you last night…"

"Oh my God. We don't want to know what you two did in bed—"

"—he screamed so bad at me when he found out I spilled soy milk on his Prada shirt that I had to convince him I needed my heart to live."

"Wow."

"I know. But the Doctor did confirm it – Sebastian does have a beating, human heart regardless of what we think."

fun fun fun! sorry, babes. i have a headache from Hell but thanks for reading! xo Peanut Butter/Sam