I'm truly sorry for the long-overdue upload of this chapter. I don't want to make a big fuss about it, yet I think there are some things I need to address. It still blows me away how many of you are so interested in this story and always leave such amazing reviews that I don't deserve. I'm serious. I am incredibly self-conscious, but that doesn't stop me from being a perfectionist. Although I'm anything but satisfied with the way this chapter turned out, I cannot let you wait any longer. Also, though it's quite obvious, I'm a smackhead who has struggles like everyone else. So, it might happen from time to time that you'll have to wait for an upload. And i sincerely apologise for it in advance, trust me when I say that I would love to upload a new chapter daily.

However, I want to thank every single one of you whose patience i haven't overstretched yet. Seriously, thank you.

Xx

Chapter 25: Novacane

Her chest was heaving ferociously and her lungs were hungry when her orgasm crushed upon her, making her boneless body sink into the mattress. Jet black hair appeared from beneath the blanket and she was eagerly expecting this gorgeous face that those dark waves framed. However, the brunette climbed off her and instead of meeting her plump lips, she was facing her tattooed back. Still intoxicated by her sexual ecstasy, she had to catch a steady breath before she could speak up. "Where the fuck do you think you're going?"

The other woman reached for her glasses before she looked over her shoulder and said with a raspy chuckle, "Relax kid."

But Piper was already wrapping her arms around her torso, unwilling to let her go and kissed her way up her ivory neck until she reached her ear and whispered, "I'm not finished with you."

It was Saturday, and Alex has been clean for five days now. She actually thought that she could make it. She was inexperienced, though. This was her first real withdrawal and the first days wouldn't be the hardest. At the beginning, you would still be drugged, eager to find out how far you were going to come and you were pumped full of the unknown. Her ambition got her high. And like every high, it would wear off and reality would set back in sooner or later. If Alex wasn't distracting herself this much by fucking her girlfriend anywhere and anytime, she would be dying already. Not even she herself could tell if she was aware of her limitless sex-drive that she used to ignore the truth. She needed a hit.

Although she could feel the blonde's hardened nipples pressing against her spine through the fabric of her top which increased her desire to throw her on her back and repeat what she had just done, she couldn't ignore her duty. And she couldn't tell if Piper forgot about it as well or refused to acknowledge it. She leaned more into her and pushed her raven hair back to kiss her temple whilst her soft hands began to roam over her torso. That was why Alex hated it when others took care of her. She couldn't just grab her phone and call Red to tell her that she wouldn't show up tonight, not after everything the red-haired woman had done for her. So she suppressed a moan and her own ego and reminded the woman behind her, "Pipes, I really need to go."

The blonde didn't listen, though, and continued to stroke her chest. When she placed a hand between Alex's thighs, she told her with that cruelly innocent voice, "No babe, you just really need to come."

Alex couldn't agree with her more. Nonetheless, she grabbed her soft hand that was in her lap and pulled it back. She felt how Piper stopped kissing her instantly and therefore explained, "You know there's nothing more I want right now-"

"Yeah, I know," Piper cut her off and started to kiss her neck.

Every time the blonde's lips met her sensitive skin, words seemed to escape. So she inhaled deeply and turned around to face her. "I can't stay… but I'll be back before you even have the chance to miss me too much."

Piper's blue eyes pierced her as she asked, "What's more important than this?"

It was obvious that Piper was still jealous, the tone in her voice had given her away. And when the brunette raised an eyebrow, her cover blew. "No Al, don't tell me you're seriously going to that fight."

"You know that I have to."

"No you don't."

"Piper," she began, letting out a sigh before she stated, "you're cute when you're jealous but now it's starting to get out of hand."

Her jade eyes were soft but Piper couldn't care less and scoffed. "This isn't about jealousy. That stupid bitch is up to no good Al."

"You're being paranoid kid," she replied, letting out a chuckle when she got up from the bed.

"Are you kidding me? I thought you were so good at reading people but you can't see how obvious it is that this cunt is manipulating you?"

"You wanna come with me?"

"Fuck no!" Piper immediately said firmly and stood up, too, the sheets wrapped around her naked body. When she saw how the raven-haired woman was putting on her dark jeans, she added, "We're not going anywhere tonight."

Maybe it was because it has been too long ever since she had had her last dose but Alex wasn't in the mood for Piper's possessiveness, and definitely not for a fight. Nevertheless, she couldn't hold herself back and rose to look at her girlfriend with blood serious eyes. "We? Honestly? You're sounding like a psycho Piper. How many times am I supposed to tell you that you have nothing to worry about?"

"Hm, maybe if you had told me in the first place that you've got a young pretty blonde girl running after you at the gym that you're seeing every day and actually spend a load of time with cause you're fucking training her, I wouldn't need to be a psycho," the model responded, holding her intense stare.

"You're still holding that against me, huh?"

Her unapologetic words silenced the blonde, and she was just looking at her with wonder in her azure eyes. It was obvious that she was at a loss for words, struggling to figure out why Alex couldn't understand her. So she made another attempt and explained to the brunette, "I just want you to be honest with me."

But she failed as Alex didn't hesitate to say, "I've never lied to you." And then Piper caught her mutter, "Jesus, this is bullshit."

"Bullshit? What is bullshit Alex? That honesty and loyalty are essential for a functional relationship?" she retorted in an instant.

"I have never lied to you," the raven-haired woman stated once more, accentuating every single word.

It was like they had travelled back in time and their status quo has turned into their former state. First they fucked and then they fought. The only difference was that drugs didn't take part in it. Eventually, Alex broke the silence but not their eye-contact when she told her, "You know what? I'm leaving now because I have to and I'm also already late. And maybe you need some time to get your head out of your ass."

With that she turned around and didn't face Piper when she heard her say, "Fuck you."

But these two words nearly meant nothing. They were overused terms for them.

As if she didn't already know, the red-haired woman gave her a piercing look. "You're late."

"Yeah, but I'm here now, aren't I?"

"I hope you'll be nicer to the interviewers," Red told her and Alex didn't even try to hide her plaintiveness. "Don't give me this look, kiddo. You've been on the news all this time, didn't you get any of that?"

Piper has been making her immune to the world. The only things that were real were happening in their own little zone. Red's question stunned her. Piper was able to make her forget about anything.

"The newspeople want to talk to you."

Due to her cocky vein, she eventually managed to say something. "But I don't."

However, that realisation was still numbing her. Just like that fight she had had with her girlfriend before hasn't stopped burdening her brain. If she hadn't been so full of pride, she would have apologised to her by now. Although she didn't even know for what.

Red's intense stare dragged her back into the world outside her mind, and she was returning it when she stated, "Red, I came tonight. Isn't that enough?"

But her trainer just arched an eyebrow, a silent response that made Alex sigh defeatedly. The soft tone in Red's voice caught her off guard, though. "Just do it for me, okay?"

Giving and taking.

Almost choking on her proud ego, she eventually swallowed it and slightly nodded her head in response. Red immediately rose the corner of her lips whilst Alex couldn't deny that she wished to be high. It would make everything easier. But she loved Piper, so she murdered her thoughts and began to stroll through the halls of the arena, walking right into the big sea of flashing lights and hungry sharks. It was her against the world again.

Her feet haven't even touched the cold water and the cameras were blinding her already, echoes of her name deafening her. That was why she hated being famous. As a young girl, she had been a nobody. But then her fists, that had gotten her in trouble in the past, made her famous and everyone wanted to be with her, even those who had tried to stay as far away from her as possible. It was this whole fame-shit she hated. This whole all-people-know-my-name shit was really funny. Cause suddenly, everyone wanted to be around her. And people thought that they knew her, simply because they knew her name. As if they were her best friend, they could judge her, give advise, by writing articles and taking pictures.

A small line would be nice right now. And her thirst instantly grew when her eyes fell on Piper's ‚ex-boyfriend'. She stopped herself form rolling her flash-light-blinded eyes and decided to casually walk past him, even though she was wondering why she had to run into him at such an event. Ignoring the questions the reporters were yelling at her turned out to be easier than ignoring his presence. though. Probably because he asked her that one question that was able to catch her attention.

"Is Piper still miserable enough to be with you?"

His face was turned to her as he was looking over his shoulder. Alex was still debating whether she should rip his tongue out or rip his crotch off, given that he had the latter, when she returned his gaze. It wasn't the fact that he had subtly indicated that desperate frustration was running Piper into her arms. The brunette has never had a bad temper. She preferred to store her emotions away, hiding them beneath her cool and indifferent surface. The reason for why his words had gotten so easily under her skin like a nice shot (she had to quit thinking about it) and why she was contemplating breaking his nose a second time was, that she was protective. People could insult her and spread lies about her as much and bad as they wanted. But if one bad word was directed at someone she cared about, that person had to be suicidal.

And as much as she wanted to fulfill his obvious death wish, the cameras held her back. She still hasn't returned to the cage and she certainly never would if she started a fight outside of it. Her throat has become sore because she had to swallow her ego so often. Eventually, she dropped her gaze and walked past him as she was looking for reporters that didn't look like money-grubbing parasites. One of them refused to leave her alone, though. She was about to listen to a newsperson's question when someone else asked her, "Alex Vause, don't you recognise me?"

Reluctantly, she shot a glance at him but couldn't turn his back on him after he had added, "You stole my pretty little girlfriend."

She didn't miss how the reporters' eyes widened instantly as he revealed himself to be one of those other cockroaches and therefore stated, "I didn't steal anything."

But her words meant nothing, the paparazzi already starting to ask questions regarding Piper and their relationship and she could feel how the crowd fixed their eyes on them again, sensing the tension although no fight has started yet. Tyler kept staring at her, trying to stare her down but failed as Alex was as tall as him. With a small grin on his face, he calmly retorted, "Come on Alex, everyone knows that you have no clay feet."

"And why is that any of your business?"

Her raspy voice was calm, hiding all the heat and rage in her blood. For a moment, he was silent and only watching her curiously. It was obvious that he was looking for something to say, something that would make her cool facade slip. After a while, he was sure that he had found something. "Hey, if it hadn't been for her you still would have been a nameless loser who has nothing."

Alex knew that he wasn't talking about Piper when he nodded his head towards the posters on the walls. Great. Red had made a pact with the devil's daughter who was having dealings with Tyler, another spawn of the devil. Jesse and Tyler were in cahoots together. And the brunette was surprised that she hadn't seen it coming.

Finally, she noticed that he realised that his tricks wouldn't work on her. Nonetheless, he took one last shot and leaned forward before he lowered his voice and said, "I mean, we both know what Piper's like in bed but… show Jesse some affection. She likes you. And you owe her something."

With that, he stepped away and the only words that were lingering on Alex's mind were his first ones. She easily forgot the rest but his first words were clinging onto her brain like claws.

We both know what Piper's like in bed.

At that time, Piper and her hadn't been together. She wasn't struggling to get rid off these words because she felt like Piper had cheated on her. She wasn't struggling to get rid off these words because she was jealous. The reason she couldn't shake them off was because she wasn't doubting that he had been lying. Piper had slept with him. And it was bothering her harder than she could handle.

Or maybe he was just lying. Alex was a dry addict at the moment. This was the best time to get into her head and plant thoughts and false facts. Her head was starting to feel heavy, she wanted to snort the pressure away. She couldn't, though. She loved Piper.

(But she loved herself, too.)

She didn't notice that she was caught in a state of complete paralysation until the devil sent its other underling.

"Alex, I was looking for you. I need your help."

Before she heard Jesse's words, she could feel her hand on her shoulder and was about to shake it off when Tyler's advise crossed her overloaded mind. In the end, she was glad that she had her license back, she wanted to fight again. And life was not all guns and roses and you didn't always have a choice. So she decided to carry her burden and faced the blonde who was standing by her side. Paparazzi have already taken plenty of pictures of them but Alex wasn't focused enough to be aware of it. The younger woman was wearing a robe that was covering her boxing attire and was yet again standing too close to the jet-haired woman. Also, she was staring a bit too long at her but Alex was still too frozen.

Like a tamed panther, she was following the light-haired woman to the cubicles in the arena.

Whilst Alex was leaning against the cold wall, her arms crossed in front of her chest, the young girl was sitting on the bench and looked at her with serious eyes. "I have to win tonight. If I lose, nobody will take me seriously."

As the brunette couldn't share her concern, she only managed to tell her, "You're just nervous. No need to freak out."

But Jesse sussed her, especially when her jade-green gaze and mind obviously drifted away.

"I need you to do something for me."

And before Alex had the chance to ask her what she meant, she got up and walked over to her locker. When she turned around, she was approaching Alex with a hand that was balled into a fist. She was hiding something in it. It was revealed to her when Jesse was standing right in front of her and opened her hand. Although Alex could assume what was in her palm, she asked nonetheless, "What is that?"

"Just a small guarantee that I will win tonight."

Alex was still staring at the pills in her hand, and for a short moment, she saw her own hand reaching for it so she would swallow something besides her pride. She just wanted to quench her thirst. However, some sanity pushed her toxic lust aside and she found herself in the real world. Tearing her eyes away, she was gazing at the woman in front of her when she said, "You will win, you don't need this. Nobody will take you seriously when they'll find out what you did."

Without blinking an eye, the blonde replied, "That's why you'll do it for me."

She wanted to speak up, protest, cuss, but her sanity shut her mouth down. The ice she was walking on was getting thinner. And the burden on her shoulders was getting heavier. Yet, as if someone had turned a switch, she realised that she was just a lost cause and eventually broke free from her own jail. After all, she had nothing to lose.

"Jesse, I can't do that. And you know that you don't need to do this, you're good enough. You won't lose."

Her own words made her feel sick. But it was still better than becoming Jesse's personal hooker. But Jesse's smile let her know that she wanted the brunette to be her personal hooker. "Remember Alex, you owe me something. If you won't cooperate all I'll have to do is snap my finger and you'll lose your license again."

"I don't care," Alex immediately responded and saw how Jesse's grin was painted in wickedness when she heard the younger woman say, "No, of course you don't. But you do care about Piper, right?"

Again, rage reached the surface when the blonde mentioned the name of someone she cared about. "She has nothing to do with this."

"In fact, she has a lot to do with this," Jesse began to explain, running her fingers over Alex's arm.

This time, Alex didn't hesitate to brush her off as she was driven by pure anger and impatience. Her box was about to burst open, it was a loose canon. Through gritted teeth, she said, "I'm warning you one last time, Jesse. Stop your little fucked up games, I'm not falling for them."

She was staring her down, making the blonde pull her hand back. However, she was brave enough to speak up. "Jeez, relax Alex. I'm just asking for a favour here, no need to be rude. I did you a favour and now it's time for you to return it. That's all I want."

Both women knew that Jesse was lying. Nevertheless, Alex was too sober to function properly. Maybe it was her own mind playing tricks on her again. And then Piper's words appeared, and Alex eventually understood them. She wanted to punch herself in the face for her former ignorance. She ran her hand through her dark waves before her eyes landed on the pills. "That shit won't put your opponent in a coma, will it?"

"Oh no. It will just make her feel a bit dizzy. Nothing serious," the blonde informed her, holding the tabs out to her.

Suddenly, it dawned on her how much she missed Piper. She wished that she would be here with her right now because she would know what to do. Unlike Alex who has been an exemplary junkie that always made the wrong choices.

Jesse coldly ripped her out of her longing when she stated, "Just do it and we'll be even."

She made it sound so easy. But nothing in life was easy, especially not life itself. And just like an ideal addict, Alex made the wrong choice. She reached forward and grabbed the pills.

When she came home, her apartment was quiet and cold. Internally, she was afraid that it was empty, too. Light that was beaming through the door crack and was illuminating her darkness removed her fear eventually. Opening the door to the bedroom, she found her girlfriend fast asleep whilst the tv was on. This view was able to make her shoulders and head a bit lighter.

Just like she had assumed, Jesse had won. With every sip her opponent had taken from her bottle that Alex had mixed with the pills, she had been losing her focus. She had looked like a poor deer in comparison to Jesse who defeated her in cold blood in the third round. The other girl had had no chance. And to erase all means of evidence, Jesse had told Alex to place the pills in the other girl's locker room, so when the going would get rough, she could foist doping on her opponent. And Alex had helped her. All she wanted was this horrendously dry day to end.

Not wanting to wake the blonde up, she took quiet steps to the bathroom, on her way turning the tv set off. Inside, she brushed her teeth and washed her face before she undressed herself and returned to the bedroom in her underwear. After she had slipped under the sheets and placed her glasses on the nightstand, she laid down on her side, her back turned to the woman next to her. She refused to recall the day and just closed her eyes, letting out a deep exhale as she was trying to find some sleep. Slim soft arms that suddenly wrapped around her torso pulled her back, though. Despite her exhaustion, she was aware of Piper's warm closure when the model whispered against her neck, "Hey."

The brunette could feel how Piper intensified her grip on her, as if she was trying to hold her together. Intertwining her cold hand with her soft hand, she replied huskily, "Hey."

She couldn't tell how much time has passed but after a while, she heard the blonde say, "Alex?"

"Yes baby girl?"

"Are you okay?"

Once, she had been far from okay. But with Piper around, she has been getting closer to okay with every day she has been spending with her. So she responded contently, "Yes, I am now."

"Good," the model breathed against her neck and eventually, they fell asleep, having in their arms everything they needed. Each other.

(Keep giving me love)
Hold me tight, let me go
Heal my heart, hurt my soul
Build me up, break me down
Make me smile, make me frown
Give me love, take it all away again
(And then you take it away)

The following day, the drugs seemed to leave her alone to give her some rest from the former day. Except for the drug that was plastering her back with arms that were nearly crushing her ribs. Piper was still in the same position she had fallen asleep in and Alex's first thought on her mind weren't white lines, but Piper's face. So she carefully turned around in the blonde's arms and couldn't stop herself from smiling when she was finally looking at her. It was really cheesy, but cheesily real as well. Piper made her happy. Piper made her aware of her veins, how they were pumping blood; of how her lungs, how they were supplying her with oxygen; of how her heart, how it was beating in her chest. Piper made her feel alive. Someone taught her how to live, someone who used to be a ghost, too. They both had been dead inside, lifeless corpses that were caught in the madness that was the world. And now Piper has become her life.

Absentmindedly, she began to tuck loose strands of golden hair behind her ear. She liked how soft it was, just like Piper herself. Everything about her was soft, especially her heart. That was why there was constantly a rope around Alex's throat. She had to be careful with Piper's heart. If she did damage to it, it might be borked. And every time she would hurt her, that rope would get tighter, stealing her breath for every little heartbreak. She had been choking last night, when she had been too ignorant to understand her, and too careless to care.

It has never been hard for her to read people. But Piper's closed eyes were like a door. They stopped her from entering her mind, her world. Alex wanted to know what she was thinking, whether she was dreaming and, if she was, what was her dream about. What kind of thoughts were buried in her subconscious. Could she picture a future with her. With someone, who sold her soul for a small bag of smack. Alex wondered, what they would do to each other after all those things they already had done to each other. Where would they go. Would they stay together. Was Piper loving her more than herself. When would they reach their final border. Have they already passed it. Were they intoxicated by their mutual madness. Was this all just a dream.

(Wake up)

"You're staring."

Alex hated mornings. However, there was nothing Piper couldn't make her love. She was no longer devastated every time she would open her eyes and realise that she was still alive. Not if the first thing her eyes landed on was her.

She could put her in such a good mood that the brunette was able to banter. "I'm searching for wrinkles."

Green met blue as if some universal, almighty power made them for each other. Finally, Alex could enter her world. And the only thing she could find in this sky was herself. Piper's dreamy eyes were enough to give an answer to all of her questions.

(Don't ever wake me up)

"You were born being a dick, weren't you?" the blonde asked her softly, an even softer smile on her face.

Alex immediately copied the look on her face as she was running her long fingers through Piper's light hair. "Probably because I was born without a dick."

She saw how the model put her hand on her face to hide her wide grin. But she failed to cover her chuckle that accompanied her words. "Oh gosh."

Whilst Piper was giggling, her hand still on her face, the brunette was just watching her intently, admiring her lovingly with her emerald eyes. If Piper could look at herself through Alex's eyes, maybe she would realise that she was an angel.

Her cold hand was on the model's side, lying on the skin beneath the fabric of the shirt she was wearing, another one she had stolen from her dark-haired girlfriend. Only after Alex reluctantly tore her eyes off her flawless face, she noticed her theft. With a smirk on her face that Piper couldn't see, she said with her husky voice, "Stop hiding your face," and grabbed her slim wrist to pull her arm away.

Piper didn't even protest and, when the raven-haired woman eventually made her look at her, she added, her tone warning and even lower, "And stop wearing my clothes."

"You're jealous that I look so much better in them than you?" the younger woman asked as her eyes flickered to Alex's full lips for a second.

"Oh no," Alex replied, her own chuckle interrupting her before she could explain, "they're way too big for you anyway."

"Maybe because I'm no big-ass lighthouse on two legs."

"You're calling me a lighthouse, kid?"

When Alex also rose a brow and smirked at her, the blonde's smile was replaced by a deadpan look and she elicited a husky laugh from her. Slowly, her chuckle faded away and her jade eyes captured her cerulean. She let go of her wrist and began to stroke her skin underneath her shirt to emphasise her words. "I really like my clothes but every time I see you wearing them, I just wanna rip them off you."

"Hm, I can see the dilemma you're in," Piper admitted sweetly with that sinful innocence in her voice.

It got even filthier when she traced her tongue over her lips as she began to stare at Alex's. Then she bit on it and every thought Alex had and could have had crumbled to dust in an instant. Her fingers were clinging onto her toned skin like claws when she leaned in and kissed her.

The line Piper drew with her fingers when she grazed them over her pale neck was the exact one she needed. Nonetheless, deep down that hungry fire was still raging. But Piper's kisses and touches washed over it like waves, and Alex smiled into the kiss when her hand settled on the blonde's bare chest. She gave it a squeeze to mark her control. It caught her off guard, though, when she found herself lying on her back and the model on top of her. In order to sit up, Piper broke the kiss, making dark green eyes shoot up at her. As the brunette impatiently arched an eyebrow, Piper told her, "I'm actually way too nice to you."

"How come?"

Her fingers were sliding through her golden hair when she heard her reply, "You just left last night… in the middle of sex. You dropped me like a hot potato."

"You are a hot potato, a very hot potato," Alex said with a smirk on her face and rose her head from the pillow to kiss her.

However, the model put her palm on her chest and pushed her back onto the mattress. Her hand remained on her as she looked down at her, her hair cascading over her shoulders like a golden waterfall.

"You used to be smoother, Vause."

"What?" the brunette asked, her thin bows pulled together.

Piper was staring at her breasts that were only covered by her bra before she managed to speak up. "Some things you said really made my panties drop. But now they kinda make my nipples invert."

"What the fuck Pipes?!"

She dropped her hands that were underneath her shirt to rest them on Piper's sides as she couldn't stop herself from laughing. As she noticed that the model was trying to keep her composure, she sighed, "I knew that my I love you would be a total bummer. Now you see me as a big softie who's got a weak spot for you."

"I knew that your cockiness was just a facade right from the start… also, you've always had a weak spot for me," Piper told her whilst her darkened blue eyes were shamelessly undressing her.

"You're having a pretty high self-esteem, kid."

"Careful baby," the blonde breathed out, one of her hands running over Alex's torso towards her legs.

The ache in the pit of her stomach increased enormously, and Piper was aware of it. She burned the woman under her with the tip of her finger that was brushing over her thigh, dangerously close to the source of her desperate, dripping longing. But Alex Vause was no beggar, even though she was a smackhead. That person was still inside of her and she was using Piper to destroy it. She needed her angel to exorcise herself. And right now, Piper was divine and holy enough to scare her demons away, although she was more of a sinner due to the way she was torturing her girlfriend. She was rocking her hips, softly yet hard enough to create friction that was sending shivers down Alex's spine.

The brunette was hypnotised for a second, she simply lost her head when Piper touched her clit. Her headlessness made her mutter, "Yeah, right there."

"Oh, I know babe," she heard the woman above her say who suddenly shoved her hand into her panty, removing the last obstacle between her and her desire. "I know."

Piper traced the lines of her inner lips with her fingertips and saw how Alex was yet again melting in her hands. No matter how ice-cold Alex was, she would always melt in her hands. And just like Icarus, she loved her sun so much, almost too much. Internally, she was still afraid of cratering. When would she eventually realise that Piper would catch her, no matter when or how hard she would crash. Uncertainty wanted to get the best of her. Especially when the former night suddenly came to the surface and dragged her down the ground of reality. But before she could remember the right things the wrong people had told her to put a bee in her bonnet, Piper lifted her up at the right time and leaned down to kiss her whilst she began to thrust a slim finger into her. Her angel would forever come to answer her call.

Nonetheless, it caught the raven-haired woman so off guard that the sudden fulfilment was like a trigger, making her back arch up. It arched like a cat, and Piper knew she was kissing silent moans away that Alex would be too ashamed to give sound. Like paws of a panther, Alex wrapped her hands around the blonde's neck and pulled her infinitely closer. Their fronts violently collided, and it threw Piper off for a moment. Due to the abrupt stop of her movements, Alex disconnected their mouths to give her a hungry glare. As Piper realised what had caused her to be so frustrated, she rose a brow and asked innocently, "What?"

"Piper," Alex just warned her, her voice octaves lower than usual.

But the blonde wasn't afraid of the predator beneath her as she easily could turn her into her prey. She could feel how Alex was slowly getting impatient, her nails digging into the skin of her neck. Nonetheless, Piper was gaining confidence every time she was on top. Therefore she held the other woman's stare, giving the brunette a cheeky grin. And Alex could see how her angel transformed into the devil once more. She couldn't care less. Envy was just another deadly sin.

"You're still jealous, aren't you?"

As if their faces had swapped, there was a smirk on Alex's face now whilst Piper's faded away. Both women knew that she was busted, so the raven-haired woman added, "Don't be ashamed of it baby girl. I'm enjoying it."

"I know you are," the model immediately spoke, and she thrusted so hard and deep into Alex that she hissed. Piper still had to tame her. "But you shouldn't."

Lust was another deadly sin, too.

Dangerously slowly, the blonde picked up her movements. Maybe she was being a bit too haughty, but Alex was the only one to blame for her pride. She had turned her own goddess into a sinner. And ever since, they have been drowning in their wicked love. They were already in hell anyway, the world was the bottomless pit. So, after all, how wrong could their obsessive ecstasy be.

Piper was unaware that she had slipped into the sick corners of her mind when the black-haired woman's throaty voice dragged her back. "Will you fuck me or not?"

Her tone was so desperate that it was close to sounding taunting. Therefore the model just eyed her intently, before she placed a second finger on her wet core and replied, "Yes, I will."

And then she let Alex wait, and when she knew that the brunette wanted to make another cocky remark, Piper pushed both fingers into her. She knew that she shouldn't push her luck, this was all the begging she could tease out of Alex. So she fucked her relentlessly, her hits fast and shameless. Whilst one of Alex's hands remained on her neck, the brunette shoved her second under her shirt to grip her tit. Without reluctance, the model immediately let out a loud moan and saw how Alex was sure that she was regaining control when she smirked at her. To the brunette's surprise, Piper just mirrored the expression on her face and knew why when she felt how the woman on top of her started to stroke her clit with her thumb. Alex had to admit that Piper was a good student. After all, she had learned from the best.

When the woman under her squeezed her breast harder, Piper knew that she was steadily beginning to fall apart. Although she would ruin her chance to hear her moan, she leaned down and connected their lips. Just like her thrusts, the kiss was adamant and vigorous. She still hasn't stopped trying to fuck the drugs out of her. She probably never would. So she picked up her pace, making them both intensify their touches as they were driving each other deeper into their mutual madness.

Even though Piper was far from slowing down her motions, the woman beneath her breathed against her lips, "Don't stop."

That was the moment Piper knew she had her. Alex eventually bowed down to her. However, the blonde decided that she would remind her of her final submission next time. Right now, she was too busy ripping her apart and also too far gone to stop herself. Though it was nearly impossible, her hand was moving quicker with every kiss the brunette was giving her. And despite all her expectations, Alex had to break the kiss when she came to release a raucous groan. The veins in her neck were standing out like muscles that her skin couldn't suppress.

As she was recovering from her sturdy orgasm, the woman above her rested her forehead against hers and removed her hand. The loss nearly evoked another moan from the brunette, but this time she kept silent and let her hand run over Piper's body when she pulled it back as well. Eventually, she managed to look up at her, finding bright blue eyes admiring her.

"That's only half of what you missed out on last night when you just left," Piper let her know and rolled off her, lying down on her side next to her.

Her ecstasy was still lingering on her, stopping her from making any kind of big movements. So she remained on her back and only managed to turn her head to the side to look at the model. "And what about the other half?"

"You'll have to earn it."

Alex was solely studying her flawless face before she wondered, "When have you become so overconfident?"

She watched the woman next to her turn to the nightstand and heard her nonchalantly say as she was looking at her phone, "If I had to guess, probably last night when you left before I really came."

"Don't be dramatic, I did make you come."

"Yeah, but it was okay," the model replied as her back was still turned to her.

Her response made Alex prop herself up on her elbow who was hoping that Piper was only joking. Nevertheless, she had to be sure. "Okay?"

"Mhm," Piper hummed, still busy checking her mobile.

"What do you mean okay?"

"I don't know, okay."

"As in?"

"Fine."

That word only made everything worse. Whilst she was still staring at the blonde back of her head, she said, "What?"

"Am I pricking your pride Al?"

The brunette could hear her cheeky grin in her tone. It didn't change the fact that she was hurting her ego, so she tried to cover it up and stated, "I just want to know what you mean."

Eventually, Piper faced her, giggling as she told her, "Baby, it's okay."

"Stop saying that word."

"Okay."

As Piper wouldn't stop teasing her, the jet-haired woman let herself drop onto her mattress, hearing another chuckle falling from the model's lips. "Don't be sulky."

"I'm not being sulky," Alex replied but failed to convince the other woman.

Although she couldn't deny that she enjoyed having Alex on, she finally admitted, "I'm just fucking with you."

Despite her relief, the brunette gave her a deadpan look and said, "You have a really fucked up sense of humour."

"Okay."

Alex just rolled her eyes and reached for her glasses to put them on whilst the woman by her side sat up on her knees. "I'm hungry."

"And?" the brunette asked coolly, averting the other woman's gaze.

"Come on Al don't be such an ass."

Emerald eyes landed on her, looking her up and down as Alex informed her, "A couple moments ago I knew what I wanted to eat."

Now Piper was giving her a deadpan look but Alex just shrugged her shoulders, about to tear her gaze when the model dreamily declared, "You know what I want? A burger."

"Are you pregnant?" Alex asked with a sarcastic tone, eyeing her curiously.

Her blue eyes focused back in and settled on the brunette as she ignored her comment and continued, "From Shake Shack."

"Shake Shack got you pregnant?" Alex asked, raising a brow and looking at her with a smirk that she couldn't disregard.

"Now who's got a fucked up sense of humour?" she threw in before she returned to her fantasy, "Tomato and melted cheese on a fresh soft potato roll."

"With a milkshake," Alex added, disrupting her illusion.

So she retorted while her azure gaze was starting to float away, "Nah, don't get greedy."

But Alex held it back with her green eyes and definite statement. "It's my fantasy. And I can have a milkshake with a side of Cate Blanchett."

"You're trying to make me jealous again?" the model asked, looking down at her with an unimpressed expression on her face.

"No dummy, I want her to massage my head," Alex informed her and let her fingers brush through air as she pointed out, "She looks like she has really cool fingers."

After a short moment of silence, she gazed at the blonde and eventually asked the question that was on their both minds. "You wanna go to Shake Shack?"

As Piper was still responsible for the decent part in their relationship, she reminded her of her strict training plan, "What about your diet?"

"Once doesn't count."

So they both got out of bed to pursue their common craving as Alex was still unaware of Piper's concern that has been filling her brain since yesterday. And although the happenings and words of the former night were still scratching at the back of Alex's head as well, indicating that it was only a matter of time until she would no longer be able to shove them back, she kept letting herself get high on Piper. Drugs have never failed to make her forget.

"I guess we're not the only ones who want a burger."

"What did you expect? It's Sunday, everyone is too lazy to cook on Sundays."

Piper's gaze left the restaurant that was representing another disadvantage of their social status, and settled on the woman who was sitting next to her. They were in the brunette's car, contemplating how to arouse as little attention as possible.

"We should've thought this through to the end."

"You want a burger now or what?"

Her cerulean eyes were firm and determined. "Yes."

"Then we'll go and get that burger," Alex told her, a small smile on her face when she looked at the model.

In an instant, Piper returned that smile but said nonetheless, "People have been talking about us."

"Fuck that," the raven-haired just replied, underplaying Piper's words.

"They're quite interested in our relationship."

"Fuck that."

"We would feed them with pictures."

However, Alex coolly repeated, "Fuck that."

As the model was eyeing her curiously, she stated, "My baby girl wants a burger, so she's gonna get her burger."

Before Piper could be smug about her sweet words, the jet-haired woman revealed her true colours. "Maybe that will be able to satisfy your needs."

Snickering, Piper asked, "Is your ego still suffering?"

She heard the woman next to her sigh as her ribbing was obviously exhausting the brunette. So she took one last look around them and, when she was sure that nobody was watching them, she leaned over the console to press her lips tenderly against Alex's cheek. Her warm hand was on her thigh as well when Alex clarified, "You don't need to kiss up to me now. It won't work."

"You're sure?" Piper whispered against black hair whilst her hand was moving closer to the zip of the other woman's dark jeans.

"Don't start a war you won't win Chapman."

And with that, Alex grabbed her hand and glanced at her, her thin brow arched up and her mouth forming a smirk. They were just staring at each other until Piper had to wet her own lips with her tongue, smashing Alex's cool composure to pieces. She closed the gap between them and eventually captured the blonde's lips in a gentle kiss.

Only the model's hunger was able to break them apart, making itself felt with a loud stomach grumble. Alex's thin brows were raised when Piper looked at her. "Sorry."

But the brunette just chuckled and said, "Wow."

As they were still sitting in Alex's car in the parking lot of the restaurant, Alex eventually replaced her glasses by sunglasses and pulled the hood of her jumper on top of her head. She swiftly gave Piper a smile before she turned around and reached for the door handle, only to be dragged back by a tender hand on her upper arm. "What are you doing?"

"Making sure that my baby girl won't starve to death."

Alex was looking at her, her shaded glasses curtaining the confused expression on her face. Nevertheless, Piper let her know why she was surprised when she asked, "You're going without me?"

Although the raven-haired woman's confusion decreased, her response was a question as well. "Isn't that what you want?"

"What do you mean?" Piper immediately said with eyes that couldn't be bluer.

"Not to be seen with me in public."

All the model could let out was a baffled "What?" before she tried to find her emerald eyes that were hiding behind a black wall. However, it was too dark for her, so she spoke up once more. "That's not what I want."

Due to the bareness of her cerulean eyes, Alex could see that Piper thought that she had hurt her. But Alex was used to it. Also, the blonde's professionalism has never been a secret. "No, it's okay. I mean, drive-through isn't an option as it's broken. If we go in separately people would put two and two together. And, us going in together is definitely not an option."

"Why not?" the model suddenly asked, catching her off guard.

She eyed her with intense green eyes before she told her, her raspy voice another pair of sunglasses that was covering her emotions, "People will see us. People will talk."

"Fuck them."

A small smile was growing on Piper's face as she was obviously proud to use Alex's words. That was just how great this addiction was. Alex was planting parts of herself in Piper and Piper was planting parts of herself in Alex. They have become an entity. Two incomplete halves creating one world. A paradise that wasn't whole without the other.

And Alex was aware of it. Therefore she said, "You're kidding, right?"

"No."

Following her words, there was another low grumble coming from her stomach. The brunette didn't hesitate to question her once more, "You're not just saying this cause you're hungry?"

Though Piper remained true to her response. "No."

In order to emphasise her answer, she leaned forward to grab her purse. She took out her sunglasses and placed them on the bridge of her nose as well. Her grin was cheeky and even a bit mischievous, displaying the angel and the devil she was and could be. Alex knew both of her sides too well. And although she could always see right through her, she had to admit, "I'll never figure you out, kid."

Piper's response was a warm smile, a smile that was like a brown shot right into her heart. The real world was nonexistent in their little zone, yet the world would never stop turning. Though the blonde was the sun in her orbit, there was no light without darkness. It was just too easy for Piper to make Alex forget. There were still unresolved issues between them, issues that were waiting outside their utopia. The more time they would spend there, the bigger those demons would be in the end. But Piper was dangerous. Dangerous enough to keep her high.

And just like her, Alex was a danger, too. Neither of the two have really returned to the real world ever since they had built their own. They weren't aware of the cameras that were already waiting for them, the photographers having pulled the trigger ever since they had caught the two women in the parking lot. They weren't aware of the countless rumours people have been spreading about them. They weren't aware of the world catching up to them. Ignorance was truly bliss.

When they left the car, the predators remained hidden in the dark, though. Thus Alex and Piper sank deeper into their illusion. However, the unusual silence in the loud city didn't go unnoticed by them. But they were too high to care. They entered the restaurant with no bother. Except Piper's hunger. "I could devour a complete horse."

"I don't think they sell horse burgers here, kid," Alex replied sarcastically, her sunglasses failing to cover her smug facial expression.

So Piper gave her a deadpan look, evoking a raspy chuckle from the raven-haired woman that was even lower than usual as she tried to keep her voice down. As Alex had already mentioned, lazy people were nearly overcrowding the restaurant. Still incognito, they walked to the end of the queue, contemplating what they were going to order. Piper was studying the menu intently when Alex told her, "See, no horse burgers."

"Thanks for telling me, smartass," the model nonchalantly replied, her blue gaze fixed on the board.

Whilst they were waiting, they noticed that some people were shooting curious glances in their direction. Internally, they wondered if someone had already recognised them. To raise as little attention as possible, they kept silent, standing in the queue like lifeless fossils. Yet, it didn't stop Alex to keep a firm distance between herself and her girlfriend. That was why her cheek was touching Piper's as she was standing behind the blonde and leaned down to hear her say, "People are staring at us."

"No, they're staring at you," Alex told her and added when the other woman turned to her with a confused look on her face, "What? You're breathtaking."

Again, Piper gave her a deadpan look although Alex hadn't meant to be sarcastic. Maybe the model couldn't make out that she was serious due to the sunglasses that were disguising her emotions. Nonetheless, she could see that the taller woman was holding her gaze. Therefore she said sheepishly, "Shut up."

Their shaded eyes fixed on each other, they were about to slip into their private zone when an employe spoke up and dragged them back. "Hey, can I get your order?"

Turning to him, his eyes lingered on them for a moment. So Alex told him, "A burger."

"Two actually," the model stated. "With a load of cheese."

"Cheese is key."

"Okay, so two double Shack burgers. Anything else?"

"And a chocolate Shake."

The young man understandingly nodded his head as he wrote down their order and disappeared. As they were left alone, Piper looked at the brunette behind her and asked, "You think he recognised us?"

"You're just being paranoid, kid," Alex answered, and the wall that was separating them from their issues started to crumble eventually.

That was why they were staring at each other silently, the events they had been blocking out crippling their mouths. Unlike their minds that were overloading them.

Tyler fucked her. Piper believed that Alex wouldn't be faithful. They were birds. Their wings were carrying them from one place to the next. Alex sabotaged a MMA fight. She was Jesse's slut. Heroin was on her mind but unfortunately, not in her veins.

The world set in.

"Your order, Miss," the young man suddenly said, waiting for them to pay.

Piper grabbed the bag whilst the brunette put the money on the table. Stepping out of the restaurant, they walked right into a small swarm of sharks. Their sunglasses prevented the camera lights from blinding them. With fast steps, they approached the car, hearing the photographers shouting their names.

When they reached the car and got in, they didn't realise that the world has followed them.

"I think we should talk."

"How come?"

"Don't be like that, Al."

"Like what?"

"Like a cold, distant asshole."

"I am a cold, distant asshole. And apparently a cheater, too."

Blue eyes turned to ice. Alex could see that she hurt her. Every time she would, Piper would freeze.

"I never called you a cheater."

"Just cut to the chase and admit that you don't trust me," the jet-haired woman said to her, staring at her burger, making her realise that she lost her appetite.

"I don't trust her."

Hearing her words, Alex knew that telling Piper about the events of the previous night would be fatal. It would just be another confirmation for the model. Also, she refused to burden her girlfriend with her problems, unaware of Piper possibly being able to help her. Maybe the drugs have never truly been the root of all of their problems. Maybe they actually didn't really make a difference.

Maybe it was solely Piper's ego that made them a problem.

(Bullshit)

Is it?

Because, despite her withdrawal, they were fighting. What else did she need to do to make Piper see her love for her.

"Al, what are you hiding from me?"

The brunette wondered when she had blown her cover. However, it wouldn't be the right thing to add one more problem to their endless list. So she coolly stated, "Nothing. It doesn't matter."

Tyler fucked her. She fucked Tyler.

And Jesse metaphorically fucked Alex.

Of course Piper wouldn't just give up, her eyes getting more intense as she was staring at the black-haired woman that was sitting across from her at the dinner table. She also noticed that Alex wasn't eating her meal. Alex was looking in soft cerulean stones when she heard her say, "What is it? If something's up you can tell me."

But Alex's walls were up, she was unapproachable. Piper hated it when Alex pushed her away. As if she was an intruder, as if she was her enemy. Sometimes, she treated Piper's love like a disease. Alex was sick. But Piper was her cure, not poison.

Based on the far-away look in her emeralds, the model knew that she was slipping away. So she reached over the table and grabbed her hand, hoping that she would pull her back. "I don't want to hurt you."

Alex's response overwhelmed her. "Neither do I."

This night, she wouldn't get an explanation, though, as the brunette's pale body reminded her what it was missing. In an instant, she let go of Piper's hand and stormed to the bathroom to empty the void inside her. How much she hated vomiting.

As she was leaning over the toilet, Piper was by her side, collecting her dark hair.

"Fuck, I hate this," was all Alex managed to say, her sore throat making it hard for her to speak.

After a short while, the nausea disappeared as fast as it had appeared. Alex stood up and was about to walk to the sink when she saw that a glass of water wasn't the only thing the blonde was offering her.

"What is that?" she asked, staring at the white bullet in her hand.

"Methadone."

The look on her ivory face immediately shifted, she was absolutely baffled. She was familiar with methadone. Yet, it surprised her that Piper was willing to take such measures.

So the model explained herself. "I've done a load of research. I don't know what you're going through right now but I do know that it's close to murder. I don't want you to go cold turkey, Al."

Piper came closer to her before she continued, "Some people use methadone to make it easier. It's just another drug as well but, it doesn't get you high. It just eases the pain. Please, let me help you."

"You're sure about this?" the jet-haired woman questioned, her gaze wavering to the pill for a second.

"Trust me."

And that was what Alex eventually did. After all, Piper was the one who knew how to make the right choices. She knew which decisions were the best. She always did the right thing. So she opened her hand, letting Piper place the medicine in her palm before she swallowed it and cooled her throat with a cold glass of water. Whilst the antidotes were washing over the fire in her veins, she was staring at the blonde. She was breathtaking. She was unreal.

In all this ecstatic madness, she could make time stand still.

I got a test for you
You say you want my heart
Well baby, you can have it all
There's just something that I need from you

Open your hand, take a glass
Don't be scared, I'm right here
Even though, you don't roll
Trust me girl, you wanna be high for this