A random crack idea of Ulquiorra and IchiHime... XD I know it's silly.

--

His hand twitched nervously, hovering just inches over the door to his friend's apartment. Inwardly, he wondered just why the hell he was so nervous. It wasn't like he hadn't been to her place before, but now... Swallowing hard, he definitely saw this time as much different compared to other times. Not to mention, he had come over here because he had wanted to tell her something he thought was really important.

Finally manning up, Ichigo rapped his hand against the wood door, a loud knock echoing on the veranda and into the night. He fidgeted in his place, shifting his weight from leg to leg. It was a moment later that Inoue Orihime opened the door, eyes wide with curiosity. Ichigo had to stop himself from blushing at the sight.

"Eh? Kurosaki-kun? What are you doing here so late?" She asked in that innocently sweet voice of hers, the one that gave him the shivers. Swallowing again, finding it hard to breathe, Ichigo let his eyes wander over her lean form, noticing she was no longer wearing her school uniform, but rather, she wore a light pink nightgown with a fluffy white robe untied and slightly slipping off her right shoulder. The sight of her pale skin caused a groan to reverberate through his chest and close his eyes, taking in a shaky breath.

Maybe I shouldn't be here...

"Kurosaki-kun? Ah, have the aliens stolen your brain??" Orihime started to worry, flailing her arms around wildly. He really wished she wouldn't do it as it caused things to... move.

No, I need to say this.

"C-Can I come in?" He inquired, forcefully telling himself he didn't stutter. Orihime smiled that big, adorable of hers and let him in, her left hand pulling up that drooping sleeve. He took a cautious step into her flat, immediately greeted with her slightly sweet scent. The one he missed dearly when she had been taken away to Hueco Mundo. "Can I get you something to drink?" She asked, folding her hands together tightly, still smiling away. Ichigo shook his head, rejecting the offer.

"N-No, I'm here because I need to talk to you..." His words piqued her interest, her brows rising a bit. "Something important..." Nodding in understanding, Orihime pursed her lips, noticing his sudden seriousness.

"Would you like to sit down then?"

"No, I... I'm going to stand..."

Again, nodding in understanding, Orihime glanced at the nearby couch. Looking back to him, her eyes almost asked if she could at least sit down. With his importance he seemed to radiate, she wondered if it'd be better to sit for the news. He gestured for her to do so, and she did. Unfortunately for him, her nightgown rose up and exposed her thighs a bit more, causing his face to immediately flush up.

"I-Inoue, this is hard for me to say, b-but..." He coughed and cleared his throat, finding it terribly hard to collect his very scattered thoughts. "I-I wanted to say that lately, I seem to have found myself-"

He didn't stop because he didn't want to continue, but rather, he found something very interesting sitting on her table. It was a small jar that appeared to be filled with some gray powder. It looked familiar to him somehow, but he didn't know from where.

"Inoue... What's that?" Ichigo asked, pointing a shaky finger towards the Mason jar. Orihime looked back, her hair whipping around with her. Once seeing what he was questioning, she smiled and clasped her hands together, as if in glee.

"It's Ulquiorra's ashes!"

His face fell, jaw about dropping to the floor.

"W-What??" He looked back to the jar and suddenly felt so disgusted, along with disturbed. He dropped his hand immediately, feeling very defeated. Here he had come over to say his feelings as of late, and turns out she has the ashes of the enemy he defeated. Not to mention it was the time he turned into a monster for her.

"You want to see it?" She asked, standing up with a smile. Ichigo threw up his hands quickly.

"N-No!! In fact, I should really be going!!" He yelled out, his voice clearly distressed. He knew now for sure he really shouldn't have come. Her smile suddenly faded and she looked hurt.

"E-Eh? But you haven't told me those news..." She pouted, making her lips looking absolutely tempting. Forcing the idea of kissing her out of his head, he groaned and raked a hand through his thick orange locks.

"Just... never mind. Sorry I came over," Ichigo apologized, turning around to leave. His hand was positioned on the doorknob, ready to leave, when he looked back to say a few more words. Only, when he turned around, it wasn't the jar of Ulquiorra's ashes sitting on the table, it was Ulquiorra himself drinking tea at her table.

W-What the fuck??

Ichigo only turned around and proceeded to bang his head against the door, hoping it was all a dream.

It was.

He woke up, shaking with a cold sweat. His lean form had shot out of bed, frantic eyes darting around the room. Upon finding he was still in his own room, he let himself fall back against the bed, mattress squeaking under his weight.

He'd have to talk to Inoue tomorrow, he told himself. And with high hopes, she wouldn't have a jar of Ulquiorra's ashes on her table, acting as a centerpiece for her kitchen.

.

.

.