Jayne rocked the swing forward and back, slow, not picking his foot up. He'd been there a while. He was sure enough glad of the padding. He was being as calm-like as he could, even though he'd rather be roaring out his frustration.
Mal was pacing, like he'd been doing for going on nine hours. The man was awfully worked up.
He'd been treading across the dojo mat in his socks since Zoë's water broke. Had to be reminded twice to take his shoes off so River wouldn't be killing him when she found out.
Jayne winced as Zoë let out a particularly anguished cry.
Mal looked ready to run. Which direction, Jayne wasn't too sure.
"Ya wanna punch th' bag or sum'at?" Jayne asked, breaking their several hour silence.
Mal paused, considering, then shook his head. "I just want this to be over and Zoë to make it through."
Jayne grunted in the affirmative. "And the baby."
It took Mal several seconds to nod agreement. He paced across the floor, when he made it back to Jayne again he spoke. "How many babies has Simon delivered, anyway?"
"Donno." Jayne admitted. "At least one." He bit at his thumb. Had to stop doing that. He'd be bleeding soon.
"Petaline's Jonah." Mal agreed. After a moment he added. "Damn this is hard."
Jayne nodded. Some instinct made him look towards the open common room hatch.
River was there. She looked tired. She wafted over to him.
"Has…?" Mal asked. River shook her head.
"It's going well. Simon says it will be very soon." She sat on Jayne's lap.
He gathered her in and resumed rocking, more to comfort himself than her. He'd never felt less like sexin.
The very thought of putting his girl thru the sort of torture Zoë was having now…
"I want children." River said very quietly, probably because she heard him.
Mal had paused in his pacing when River appeared, but now he resumed his purposeful aimlessness.
Jayne closed his eyes, trying to stem the panic. "More than one?"
"Yeah," She pinched his arm. "Eight or ten."
Jayne inhaled sharply. Eight!? His mind cried out in anguish.
She was so small. Tiny, tiny, tiny. Eight would kill her.
"Alright." She whispered merrily, "Maybe more like four."
Jayne harrumphed grumpily. "I ain't even agreed to the one. Ain't sure I could handle… that." He gestured towards the infirmary.
River ran her fingers across his scalp. "Wrong time to discuss it." She sighed. "I'll talk you into it later."
Jayne looked down at the top of her head. This was real long term talk. They hadn't ever talked like this, so serious-like. Something stirred deep inside him.
River tilted her head back and flashed him that 'I'm gonna get you in trouble' grin. "It'll be fun."
Jayne knew right then he wouldn't tell her no if… when the time came she wanted to start on that 'eight.'
Zoë cried out again. Jayne tightened his arms around River. She laid her head on his shoulder.
This part might just kill him.
"We could have Simon sedate you." She offered.
His shoulders shook as he laughed silently. "Out like a light?"
River shook her head. "Just calm. I think I would want you there."
Jayne kissed the top of her head. He still didn't feel like sexin.
Even all cuddled up like this with his own girl, old John Thomas wasn't even twitching. He breathed in the scent of her hair. He was used to her. Comfortable.
Well, that was quick. Only how long since… Jayne silenced his thoughts and concentrated on the smell and feel of her.
They seemed to sit like that a long time. Jayne gradually relaxed, able to focus on River instead of on Zoë's groans or Mal's pacing.
Finally they heard the sweetest sound in the 'Verse. A tiny, loud crying voice. The baby.
Mal ran towards the infirmary, forgetting his boots. Jayne stood, not taking the time to set River on her feet and followed Mal.
Kaylee met them at the door to the infirmary, grinning.
"Put me down." River ordered.
"Zoë?" Mal asked, looking over Kaylee's shoulder.
"Don't you fret, captain." Kaylee held up her hands to keep him out. "She's fine, so's her little boy. Cutest little thing that ever was, all red and squalling."
Mal slumped, the tension of the day ebbing away.
"Inara's cleaning up the baby and Simon and Zoë ain't quite done yet. We'll let you know when visitors are welcome." Kaylee shooed them away from the door. "River? Are you coming back in?"
She shook her head, still clutching Jayne's arm. "No, none of us have eaten since breakfast. Come on, Jayne. Let's go cook. Are you coming, Mal?"
"No." He shook his head. "I'll just sit right here." He practically fell onto the couch.
River tugged Jayne's arm. "Food."
He nodded and followed her up the stairs.
Ward and the Chang sisters were playing cards at the table. They set down their cards when Jayne and River unsealed the door.
The incredible aroma of bread baking filled the doorway as soon as it opened.
Mabel looked guiltily up at River who was looking… shocked.
"I hope you don't mind, dear." Clara said. "We thought about asking, but we didn't want to interrupt you either."
"No, I…" River began, then she shook her head.
"Well, its just that as far as we can see you do all the cooking." Mabel said. "Not everyone wants other hands in her kitchen."
"But at the same time," Clara cut in, "the household needs a friend to do the cooking at a time like this."
"Thank you, but everyone is allowed into the kitchen anytime." River glanced up at Jayne. She seemed a bit worried. "Whenever you're hungry feel free. You don't need to ask for permission." River reached up and steadied herself against Jayne's back, half hidden in the doorway. "I'm sorry if that wasn't made clear when you came on board."
"Oh, it was." The sisters glanced at each other. "But you do such a good job, and we haven't seen anyone else cook…"
"Well, never mind." Clara broke in. "We'll put the casserole into the oven to heat up."
"I hear the baby, don't I?" Mabel leaned towards the open door.
"Could hear the kid two moons over." Jayne said, already feeling something… pride? for the little tyke.
"Come have a seat, dears." Clara said. "Would you like some tea? The sweet rolls will be ready in just ten minutes."
That sounded right good to Jayne's rumbling stomach. He headed over to his chair and River trailed right behind.
"Jayne?"
The tone of River's voice made him forget his hunger instantly. He turned to his lover, intent on fixing… whatever she needed him to.
River sat gracefully beside him. "Have I completely taken over the entire ship?" She was rubbing the bridge of her nose, looking worried or bemused or some such thing.
"Uh, yeah, pretty much." He confirmed. Wouldn't do no good to deny it. She could tell if he tried to lie to her.
"Oh." She looked halfway between laughing and crying.
"Ain't a bad thing unless Mal starts complaining." Jayne shrugged, reinforcing the statement by broadcasting his gut feeling that everything she was doing was good for the boat.
Laughter won. "Thanks, Partner."
Clara bustled over with the tea things. She made almost as much fuss as Inara did. Could be a female thing.
Jayne kept half an eye on River.
She smiled warmly when she took her cup, but then played listlessly with her spoon, clinking it against the saucer in what almost sounded like a pattern.
Jayne didn't consider himself an expert on female behavior. Bodies, sure, behavior, no. But it seemed to him River wasn't too happy with what they'd just said.
She set her cup down, pushed her chair back and stood.
Yup, upset.
She laid her hand on his shoulder, clearly signaling him to stay put.
"I'm going to check on the ship." River said. Then her hand was gone and so was she.
Gah. He should follow, shouldn't he? Even though she'd signaled him to stay.
Jayne glanced up. Clara was watching him. She tipped her chin in the direction of the bridge.
Jayne made a face, nodded slightly and stood. "I'll be in my bunk."
He closed the door behind him and headed right for the bridge.
"Bao bei?" He said from just outside.
She was sitting in her chair, staring blankly out the front window.
He approached cautiously. "River?" Oh shit, she was crying.
Fat tears rolled slowly down her cheeks as she sat silent and motionless.
"Hey." He tried again, kneeling beside her chair. "Talk to me, beautiful."
"Unimportant emotionl overload." River wiped the tears away. "I'm fine." She added, offering him a pathetic little half smile.
"Ain't quite true." Jayne touched her gently. "But I'll play along." One hand found her knee, the other brushed her hair over her shoulder.
She turned her face so her cheek fit into his palm.
"Got things up here actually need doing?" He asked. He sure didn't understand the dials and controls, but she'd been still when he entered the room.
"No." She glanced across the panel again. "Everything checks out."
"Well, then, come down to my bunk. I'll hold you if you still need to cry."
River leaned over and kissed his forehead. "Alright."
Jayne stood and took her hand.
They led each other to his bunk, then stared wordlessly at each other for several moments. Jayne thought he might sense their relationship shifting in those moments. It frightened him that he didn't know how.
"Let's lie down." He suggested.
River nodded. "No boots, no weapons." She stripped off her own gun belt and unknotted the ribbons on her shoes.
Jayne weaponed down and kicked off his boots. He pulled his night shoes, wooden soled sandals, out where he could reach them in case of emergency.
"Come here, beautiful." He murmured.
She came and he settled back on the bed, tucking her beside him.
He kept quiet, trying to think soothing thoughts. She would talk when she sorted things out. Whatever part of this that made her cry would surface. For now he would just hold her close and let her be.
Then a thought entered his mind that made his jaw tighten.
"Hey, you ain't mad at me, are you?" He asked.
River sighed. "No." She said against his chest.
"Good." That was a relief. If she was mad, that would mean no sexing until he fixed it.
She pulled away from him and looked carefully into his face.
He looked back, not knowing what she was looking for, but hoping that what she found left them on good terms. He wasn't sure he could handle not being on good terms with her. Might make him a grouchy bear to live with. Cause all sorts of problems.
River smiled, then laughed a little. She kissed his lips very briefly before settling back against his chest.
Huh.
Alright. So whatever made her cry didn't make her want to push him away.
Good. Very good.
Just about anything else was manageable. At least, probably it was. As near as he could figure.
Jayne let himself relax, breathing in the scent of her hair.
They stayed that way, not falling asleep, but not crying neither, until Kaylee called down to them that dinner was ready.