Disclaimer: Twilight = not mine.
A/N: I wanted to get this up before today, but it did not happen, clearly. It was hard to write for some reason. Maybe because I know it's getting closer to the end, and my subconscious is fighting against it.
Who knows.
Here it is anyway. Chapter 25. Enjoy :)
Chapter 25 - Poker Face
"This is too weird, isn't it? It's weird. I feel weird."
"It feels a bit odd, yes."
Welcome to Edward and Bella standing in Emmett and Rosalie's giant effing driveway/courtyard, stalling.
"It shouldn't feel so weird, like we're intruders."
"You need to calm down, love. Intruders? We were invited here."
"Oh frick, Edward, we probably should have brought something with us."
"Like a house warming gift?"
"Yeah, I guess. It is the first time we've seen the place."
"Bella, we're here for a peace conference, not a party."
I sighed and looked up at the giant structure, noting that, had I not seen the beautiful house Cameron inhabited in Malibu, I would deem this the fanciest homestead I'd ever been invited to.
"Still, we've never been inside, and we could have given it as an offering or something. And my hands feel fidgety, holding a gift would have given them something to do. I don't have good pockets on these jeans or else I'd stick them there. What should I do with them? I can't let them see me shaking. My plan was to be calm, collected, stoic. Like you, right now."
I gestured towards Edward's stone still face and frowned. I was falling apart and he looked like he was in the middle of a card game or something.
"I'm a little worried as well, don't be fooled. It's just easy for me to stay composed when I'm stressed out. It's sort of my default mode."
"That's right. Holeward was a freaking robot. I remember now. Ugh, I'm so not like that. My hands are still shaking, Edward. What am I supposed to do with them?"
"Whatever you do, don't slap anybody."
I rolled my eyes and threw Edward and his calm smirk a pointed look.
Mr. Poker Face was starting to get under my skin.
He took in my annoyed look and dropped the smirk then shrugged.
"Well, if you do end up slapping anyone, try and make sure it's Rosalie."
He winked at me then, spouting his playfullness that I'm sure was not only for my benefit since we'd both now admitted to being anxious. He reached over and took my hand in his and breathed in heavily. Half my fidgety problem was solved. Now we just had to ring the doorbell and face our demons. I mean family.
Within seconds of the deep chime echoing back at us through the impressive oak doors, one of them opened and a smile I had not seen in far too long greeted us, as if this was any other day, any other gathering.
"Emmett. Nice giant house."
"Edward, Bellarina! Thanks for showing. Uh, Alice and Jasper are already inside. Rosie is upstairs... and, yeah. Welcome to our home."
I returned Emmett's giant grin half heartedly, Dear Lord even he seemed ill at ease about this strained reunion, but I squeezed back with all of my might when his big arm wrapped around my shoulders in a hug. My left hand was still tightly bound to Edward's, enforcing our unity.
This whole thing was uncomfortable. Necessary, yes, but uncomfortable. Tense. Even simply reuniting with Emmett felt like walking on eggshells, and he was on our side more or less. I could only imagine what things would be like in mere seconds when I was face to face with the main problem herself.
Still, this was what I wanted, what we all needed. A reconciliation. As much as I couldn't imagine it due to the height things had escalated to, I needed it to be a reality. After my breakdown at Carmen and Eleazar's Edward contacted Emmett, informing him that we needed to do whatever it took to remedy the "situation" we were all in. Imagine our shock when Emmett informed us that he was just getting ready to call us and demand we show at their "new digs" for a peace talk or sorts. It was demanded by Rosalie and seconded by Alice, who were also ready to end the fiasco, no matter what it took.
Somehow the universe had brought us all simultaneously to our knees, it seemed, and we were all at some sort of breaking point. I had no idea what the theirs was, nor how long it would take to get through this apology process because I know I still felt rather stubborn, but it seemed inevitable that we work through our issues and save ourselves from whatever ditch we'd dug ourselves into with our fierce disagreements.
The further we walked into Emmett and Rosalie's house the further down my jaw dropped. The place was gorgeous, and totally covered in Rose's touch. I could picture her here, beautiful and happy, and the me that knew we had to work through this grew happy for her.
We found Alice and Jasper in the kitchen, sitting side by side on some stools whispering softly. Naturally their quiet conversing stopped abruptly when Edward and I entered behind Emmett, but, much to my twisting stomach's pleasure, their mouths turned into soft grins and not scowls as we approached and I locked eyes with each of them.
"Hi guys," Alice chirped, softer and more unsure than I'd ever heard her speak before.
"Hey," only I answered, offering a very meek wave.
After about .4 seconds of an awkward stare started between us, Alice and I avoided eye contact. My attention turned to Jasper who's full attention was on Edward.
They were looking at each other, both with tight eyes and even tighter lines that their lips were set in. They truly looked like brothers in this moment, the resemblance of their discontent was uncanny, one sample of it set in penetrating green and bronze, mirrored by the same hardness set in honey and blue.
It was horrible to see Jazz and Edward locked in such an ugly, silent exchange, but I tired not to judge the harshness of their looks, knowing my own fierce battle was waiting somewhere upstairs.
Emmett broke the strange mood that had settled, clearing his throat and popping open a can of soda.
"Ok, listen up. Since you all basically came running to me to solve things, we're going to carry this thing out my way. No one leaves this house until we are all at least on civil speaking terms again. We're doing this strategically, because the last few times any of you have been in any sort of grouping unsupervised it's been a f'kin disaster. This is happening in phases. For phase 1, Bellarina, you and Rose are going in our bedroom to duke it out, while Eddie and Goldilocks over here glare daggers at each other in the upstairs guest room. You 4 are have the biggest, most recent issues, so we're breaking down that crap before we let the whole group hash it out. Alice and are going to hang in the game room, which is conveniently located in between the 2 confines. We were the most well behaved this whole time, so we don't come in until phase 3 of this little intervention. No one escapes, the game room I'll be waiting in blocks the stairs, and no one gets violent," he paused and stared at Edward and Jasper for a beat.
Edward rolled his eyes at Emmett's violence comment just as Jasper narrowed his. I suppose Emmett took that as confirmation they weren't going to beat each other up because he nodded a bit to himself then asked, "Any questions?"
"What's phase 2?" Alice asked.
"Eddie and Rosie," Emmett replied shortly.
Edward squeezed my hand briefly, and I squeezed back, but other than that there was no reaction.
"Any more questions?"
I raised my hand tentatively, feeling foolish for doing so, but also feeling the weight of Emmett's authority over the situation making it somewhat necessary.
Emmett chuckled a little then pointed at me as he took a sip from the soda.
"I was just wondering if Rosalie and I could take the game room. I feel uncomfortable entering into our... discussion on her turf."
"B, we're in her house. The whole swanky place is her turf," Jasper laughed quietly. For a brief moment everyone was moved by the joke, the mood grew silghtly lighter and it felt like a shadow of the ease it used to be when we were all together.
Edward stiffened practically within the same second he let himself be amused at his brother's comment, and it sobered me up again, reminding me about the battle looming ahead. Or above. Why wasn't Rosalie down here?
"I get that this is her house, which apparently gives her exemption from briefing, but the bedroom is like her headquarters or something. I just feel weird entering into her domain like that. It feels like an advantage. It just does."
I shrugged my shoulders a little bit and looked at Emmett unapologeticaly.
"You'd be uncomfortable in our bedroom?" he asked.
"I would."
Emmett scratched his head and seemed to think for a few seconds, then nodded a little bit and sighed.
"All right sister, that's valid I guess. You ladies get the game room, Alice and I will just hang down here. We'll still be blocking any exits. And, for the record, Rosie got the briefing earlier, so don't go all bitter or whatever over nothing. We're done with that crap. She's just upstairs because... well she didn't want to be down here. And as much as we've been disagreeing lately she's still my wife, she's hurting, and I can't always be 100 percent fair when it comes to her."
His tone indicated that we were done with the formalities and finally ready to move into the trenches.
I squeezed Edward's hand a little bit harder with each step that we took up to the second floor and kissed him softly before releasing his hand and watching him shut the door to the guest room.
Emmett instructed me to sit on the couch and wait for him to go get Rosalie from the lion's den. I sat and waited, fidgeting the entire time.
No poker faces here, it was time for emotions to run wild.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
We'd been staring at each other for 3 minutes and 42 seconds. I knew for sure because I was paying very close attention the clock on the wall behind her head. Anything to keep from meeting her hard eyes.
Nothing had been said.
Nothing worked through.
Just staring.
I suppose neither of us wanted to be the first to crack.
I'd finally matched Rosalie in resolve.
The room was pretty dang silent, Alice and Emmett weren't making any noise from down stairs and there weren't any more noises coming from Jasper and Edward's room. Initially we could hear the low rumble of their voices, but that had faded about 1 minute and 3 seconds ago.
Rosalie sighed heavily and it drew my attention from the seconds ticking away to her.
She was staring straight at me, and it was no longer an option to look away. Her look said it all. This needed to begin. Now.
She quirked an eyebrow at me.
I blew air through my nose and lifted both of mine.
She licked her lips.
I started drumming my fingers on my knees.
Just as she seemed to be opening her mouth to say something the door to our right opened, and out emerged Edward and Jasper, looking like they'd just emerged from the Land of Ease and Happiness.
"You're done?" I asked, shifting my gaze back and forth between the two of them.
"Uh, yeah," Jasper replied as he flicked his head, shifting some hair out of his eyes. "You aren't?"
I shot a quick look at Rosalie and her eyes darted to me then quickly away.
"We haven't even started," she said.
"Oh..." Jasper replied, looking very confused.
"Don't you think... you should?" Edward hedged.
Both of the boys looked uneasy as the heavy mood Rosalie and I created creeped to their side of the room, and I found myself growing rather irritated at them for being faster than us. They were supposed to have tons issues too.
"I don't get how you guys are, you know, better," I sputtered, waving my hand between the 2 of them. "I'm sorry Jasper, but I heard how upset Edward was about your disagreement. It didn't seem like it would require a quick fix."
"Bella, it's fine," Edward reassured me with a soft smile. "We both regret what we said, gave an explanation for where the anger and resentment came from, and resolved it."
He kept the smile on his face and I could tell he was trying really hard to look extra angelic. It was pretty clear Rosalie and I expected them to match us in the struggle to fix things, and finding out that they had figured things out so quickly was somewhat upsetting. Jasper seemed to be inching towards the stairs.
"Your mother intervened, didn't she?" Rosalie asked, a tone of enlightenment clouding her words.
"She did threaten to with hold Christmas dinner," Jasper admitted.
"And to sell the piano," Edward added with a fown.
"And dad's vintage Les Paul," Jasper sighed with a forlorn look.
Rosalie barked one short, beautiful laugh and all I could do was respect Esme for knowing how to get what she wants.
"She blackmailed apologies out of you by threatening to sell the piano and the guitar?"
"Well, yes," Edward conceded.
"It really was sincere, though," Jasper said. "I mean, her evil plan worked. We only needed motivation to get the conversation going. I really have no ill feeling towards Edward. It's all water under the brotherly bridge now. Right, man?"
Jasper punched Edward on the back of the shoulder and Edward reached behind him and grabbed his wrist, then twisted Jasper's arm behind his back.
"Of course. We've never been better."
They were laughing now, and we were still gaping.
"It was just so quick," I mumbled, not really intending for anyone to hear.
"It's just the way we are, B," Jasper said to me while attempting to wiggle out of Edward's hold and reach his free hand out to pull his hair.
"It's no worse than when you stole my journal the night before you graduated and photo copied the page that held my confession of my attraction to Tanya, then posted it all over the school."
"Hey, it was my way of saying good bye to Forks High. I wanted to go out with a bang."
"It was an intrusion of privacy!"
Jasper growled as Edward twisted his arm further behind his back. This was ridiculous. They were fighting about something that happened years ago, physically wrestling, and laughing at the same time.
Boys. Are. Weird.
"It got the ball rolling with Tanya for you! You should have thanked me! It's not my fault you forgot to lock your diary."
"It was a journal, there's a difference, we've been over this. And she didn't speak to me for 3 weeks, Jasper!"
"Not that it matters," I interjected, throwing a playful upset look at Edward.
Both of their eyes widened at the sound of my voice and Jasper broke his arm free of Edward's grasp as they both came back to the here and now.
"Of course not, love," angelic Edward said, making a reappearance.
I narrowed my eyes and he dropped the act. He started pulling Jasper's to the to of the stairs by the sleeve of his shirt.
"Sorry, ladies, we should probably let you be," Edward said as I smirked at him.
"Thanks," Rosalie replied sarcastically.
Jasper flicked Edward's ear then raced down the stairs with my fiance chasing him, and I watched their descending forms until I could no longer hear their footfalls on the floor below.
I turned back to Rosalie hesitantly, kind of relieved that the boys had lifted a bit of the tension in the room with their crazy brother antics.
The second I brought my eyes to Rosalie she spoke.
"Emmett and I can't have children."
Her eyes were very hard still, and I took in her words slowly, still bearing my heart's protective armor for the discussion ahead.
"I'm sorry?" I asked, looking for her to repeat the statement.
"I'm sorry too," she laughed coldly, bitterly, even though it was clear I had been asking for an elaboration. I waited silently as her eyes lifted to the ceiling and turned liquidy. After a deep breath she continued.
"I decided that I wanted to have a baby, now, so I made Emmett get tested with me. You know, to reassure that we were both equipped enough could have kids as soon as possible. We all know patience isn't my strongest virtue, especially when I'm in a bad way. We got the results back last week. Turns out we can't have kids together at all. My insides are, um, inhospitable."
She sat across from me, staring at nothing, doing everything in her power to not let a tear fall, though it was obvious she was going to loose that battle.
I felt shocked. Completely taken aback and at a loss for words.
"I'm sorry," I breathed, longing to reach out and hug her, but not certain that the movement would be natural between us at the moment. "About the baby issue, I mean," I clarified the very next second, the selfish part of me desperately hanging on to the belief that I did not need to start the apologies we owed each other over the quarrel.
Rosalie's eyes darted to me and held strong once the clarification of my apology left my lips. I was anticipating a stone still stare down, but instead her lower lip trembeled and the first of many tears managed to escape and run down her cheek. She didn't even reach up to wipe the wetness away, she just stared and cried for the fall of 3 separate tears.
"I can't believe you felt the need to clarify what your apology was for," she said quietly, in a disgusted tone.
"Well... we came here to talk things out. I just... I wasn't expecting you to have another bomb to drop. While I am definitely saddened and sorry for you and Em, I just don't want to ignore the fact that something else is going on here. Something we haven't resolved yet."
"Can you even hear the coldness of your voice?"
"I can. I hate it, but it's just the way I feel lately, Rose."
"I feel dead, Bella."
"Well... I'm sorry. That you feel... dead."
Her words sort of shocked me, honestly.
Rosalie felt dead?
It was such a terrible image in my mind. Just heart wrenching. I took in her appearance for a moment, studying her as she stared back with tears still crawling down her face.
She certainly looked far worse than I'd ever seen, not that anyone who didn't know her well would think she looked too bad. I knew her well enough to see the subtle, sad differences. Her hair wasn't quite as smooth as she usually kept it. Her eyes were darker, more worn looking than the confident blue they were used to being. Her mouth was set in a sad line and the air around her that normally held strength seemed deflated.
We sat in another strained silence as I took her in, and I was extremely close to sucking it up and beginning some sort of apology, not for how defending Edward or I, but for having a part in this huge disaster.
Then, suddenly, she broke the moment and began sobbing into her hands, looking like nothing I'd ever seen her be before.
Broken. Tired. Defeated.
"God, I've pushed you so far away!" she sort of yelled into her hands, muffling the words but not making them indecipherable.
"Rose-" I began, but stopped when her head shot up and her furiously saddened expression haulted whatever it was I was going to attempt to say.
"No, Bella. I'm done," she declared fiercely.
The look on her face had shaped itself into something stong. It was hard and determined, only made more dramatic by the wet streaks that stained her face. She stood up and for a moment I truly felt like this was it, the end of the road, the final deterioration of a friendship that had been ripped to bits months before. I wasn't sure if she had any more words for me, or if she was going to just walk back into her lair and leave me to go down stairs and tell the others that there just was no hope left. That we had said too many words that were placed in anger and resentment, and that too much damage had been done.
But she didn't leave the room. She didn't sneer vile words at me, or push this distruction further. She crumbled to my feet, her head in my lap, and silently shook with sobs that were no longer vocal, but still seemed deep.
She raised her head, looked directly in my eyes, and plead.
"Please forgive me Bella, please. I'm sorry. I can't do this anymore. I can't pretend to be strong, or happy, or angry, even. I'm just done. I'm so done with my life. If it wasn't for Emmett, who I've managed to push away as well, I don't know what I would be doing right now. Really dying probably. That's what it feels like anyway. My life... I don't know what happened. Everything fell apart. It all... it just... it's all gone."
I stared down at her awkwardly, still slightly stunned by such a broken down image of Rosalie.
"And here I always pictured you so perfectly in my mind," I used, almost to myself, not being able to help it when the pointer finger of my right hand reached out to stroke a strand of her hair.
"It was never true, Bella. I've never been that way. And, just so you know, it's not a very fair image to project onto someone."
"I know, but up until this point, Rosalie, that's how you acted. I mean, attacking Edward sort of gave you a superiority complex. At least in our eyes."
She sat up, still in front of me on the ground but no longer leaning into my lap. She looked a bit more composed now because, let's face it, the hashing-out had officially begun.
"Well I had very strong opinions about you both, Bella. That's just a fact. And while I do feel sorry for the way I handled myself that day, I just can't be sorry for wanting to look out for you. Or for your wrongly conceived notion that I had any superiority complex issues going on."
"You basically told us that we were a mess, Rose. You berated our love! I mean, you called Edward selfish and me pathetic."
"I didn't say those words, exactly, Bella-"
"Oh, stop it. You said much worse than that, actually, and we all heard it. I can understand how frustrating it must have been to watch me deal with Edward leaving, I mean I was there, living it. I had a very hard time with him, a lot, before and after we got together. I know this. But that's how I had to deal with things."
"I just can't understand how you could give him that much power over you! It's not healthy. I love Emmett to death, I would do anything for him, but I would never let his actions control me so completely."
"I'm not you!"
"That's fine-"
"No! Apparently it's not, Rose. You hate how I act when I'm being me!"
"I hate how you acted when Edward was taking care of his business and you were left on the sidelines."
"All right, you got me there. Good job. I learned how to be stronger when Edward can't be around me 24/7 thanks to all of this stupid fighting. Woo hoo. But at what cost? Our whole family?"
"I had no idea you'd react that way-"
"That's a bunch of crap. Of course we were going to be upset. What did you think would happen? He'd stay home from Europe and we'd sign up for couple's counseling with you?"
"I don't know what I thought would happen, ok? My parents had fallen apart, I was preparing for you to do the same... I wasn't thinking about your feelings."
"Clearly, you hurt them quite thoroughly."
"Oh, and you standing in Alice's boutique like a heartless statue wasn't hard for me at all."
"That was different."
"How?"
"You'd already reached your goal by that time, Rosalie. I was strong enough to not let the selfish people I love bringing me down."
"You didn't even blink when I told you my life was falling apart!"
"I know! It felt like you'd finally caught up to me!"
We had escaladed to yelling, so the silence that followed my comment was very prominent. Things were being said though, and we had no way to run from each other this time, so it seemed like it had to find a way to be productive.
The hard looks on each of our faces said otherwise, though. Jasper and Edward were lucky to have so much fighting and making up practice, being brothers that had experienced it multiple times in their past. I'd never fought like this with someone I loved. I wasn't sure how to trudge through it without letting myself feel compromised.
Rosalie sat up straighter, almost eye level with me since I was now slouching and scowling. She seemed ready to speak again, which was good. I didn't want to yell at her anymore, which would surely happen if I tried speaking again, but the silence wasn't going to get us anywhere either.
"I already said I was sorry," she commented, looking me straight in the eye.
"I know, but I still need you to hear how I've been feeling, Rose. It's been pretty crummy, feeling like I have to prove myself to the people who are supposed to believe in me the most."
"I do believe in you."
"Could have fooled me."
"I do. That was the problem. Look, Bella. Ever since I've met you, you've been this... thing... this force that's made me feel more alive. Before we became friends I saw other people as necessities, almost. I knew you had to make nice with people to get ahead, but I never really saw relationships as something that could propell you into being a better person. I mean, even my parents, who I thought had the perfect relationship and life, didn't have much outside of eachother. My mom was friends with my dad's collegues' wives. Because that was what was required of her in a sense. I always figured that's how I would be. Reliant on my fabulous husband to compliment me, and love me, and the rest was all for the show."
"That's horrible," I sighed, understanding for the first time the hardness of Rosalie. She'd never really shared this persepective with me. Not this deeply. I knew she'd never had meaningful friendships before Alice and I in Hollywood, but I wasn't aware that she thought it was normal, or the way she'd want to be.
"I know it is. I know now. Because of you, and Alice of course. But you were first Bella. The first person to look at me and not try to put on a show for me. You were always just you, and I love you! And then you loved me, even when we first really started hanging out, even though I was so different from you. That's always meant so much to me. So watching you fall apart because some idiot boy - and this isn't an attack on Edward specifically, they are all idiots - it upset me. I didn't like watching my beautiful, confident, independent friend fall to pieces. Watching the person who made you appreciate life die... it's hell Bella. Even worse was loving the person who was doing it to you. The result was anger."
I sat there, stunned, for a few moments. Rosalie's compliments of me were pretty high up on my Shock Meter, right up there next to her former beliefs on friendship.
"Rosalie, you always intimidated me in the beginning. I wasn't confident next to you. I was just resigned to the fact that I could never be like you."
"There you go again, Bella. Putting me up on that pedistal I could never stay balanced on."
She shook her head and looked towards the carpet, almost in an embarrassed sort of way.
"I've never looked at it like that. In my eyes you've always been born to be up there, balancing perfectly."
"Ha. What about now?"
"Ok. Maybe not now."
She snorted a small laugh and I made a face to myself.
"So, what now?" she asked, looking back up at me.
"I don't know."
"I'm sorry, Bella. I really am. I just want to do whatever it takes to get over this. I need you, and Alice, and all of the boys. I need to share my life with you guys again. I need to be the wife Emmett deserves. I can't promise I won't ever be mean, or hard headed again, but I've learned a major lesson in how I handle myslef, and the people I love."
"Thank you, Rosalie. I do accept your apology. I just can't be calm when it comes to Edward. You know that. As much as you have to be you, I have to be me. And that's a part of me, wrong or not. I'm sorry for anything I may have said that wasn't fair."
"Thanks. I think most of us let some ugly things slip in the heat of the moment these past few weeks."
"True. But I don't regret defending myself and Edward."
"Right. I don't regret being passionate, I guess. Or pushing you to maybe take a look at your relationship. Eveyone has to do that every now and again, right?"
I nodded and smiled at her, feeling like perhaps we really were past all of this. I felt closer to her even, like I understood her more than I had before. She had me on some sort of pedestal, too, in a way. One that I tipped off of the second I let Edward's actions effect how I handled myself so many months ago.
"Are we ok?" she asked wearily.
"Yeah, we are. You still have an apology for Edward, though, I think."
She nodded and looked to the floor again. I was certain Edward would easily accept her apology now that her and I had made up, but of course they still needed to work things out themselves.
"Anything else you need?" I asked just for good measure.
"Can I have a hug?" she said, looking at me through her lashes.
I almost hated how beautiful she looked, tear stained and all, but pushed that aside to smile and hold my arms out.
"I missed you so much," she told me quietly as we embraced.
"You too. I lost it when Edward and I were doing through of our ceremony. I couldn't stand the idea of you and Alice not being next to me. It wasn't right."
"No, that wouldn't be right."
"I broke down completely when we got the results of our test. Emmett was great, holding me up alongside himself when I know he was breaking too, but the only thing I wanted to do was run to you and Alice. And I couldn't. It was nearly the saddest moment of my entire life."
"I'm so sorry for that, Rosalie. Truly. You and Emmett deserve so much..."
"Thank you, Bella. That means a lot to me. I feel so much less alone now."
We were both wiping at tears now, though smiles adorned our faces. Rosalie sighed heavily and then stood, offering me her hand so that I could do the same.
"Gosh, I really am feeling better," she said, not letting go of my hand as we started down the stairs to the others. "I feel like the hardest part may be over."
"Yeah right," I laughed, making her look at me with confusion.
I turned to her and quirked an eyebrow.
"We both pissed Alice off pretty thoroughly. You think getting back into her good graces will be simple?"
She stopped on the stairs and frowned, mirroring my expression of unease.
"Eh, we're working together for good again. We can take the little one," she concluded, flashing a wide, beautiful smile and stepping down again.
I laughed and descended with her, step by step, seeing each one as another movement out of the dark hole we'd been in for months.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
It only took Rosalie and Edward 32 minutes to come out of the downstairs guest room, the place Emmett had designated as their solitary apology confinement.
They came out smiling and speaking of beaches, so I gathered he had recalled our disasterous trip to Cameron's with her at some point.
Emmett, Alice, Jasper, and myself were planted on the couch in their giant, spacious living room, watching a special on the history channel about people who had plotted to steal Abraham Lincoln's body. It was Part 1 of a 2 part special he'd recorded.
Oh how I'd missed this.
Emmett was sitting in the middle, effectively separating me from Alice and Jasper. I'm not sure what he thought was going to happen if we spoke, but he was adamant that we not breath a word to each other until the whole group was again assembled. I caught Jasper smirking when I rolled my eyes at Emmett's odd plan, and that made me less annoyed because I realized that when I did get to speak to them, at least one of Team Romeo and Juliet wasn't read to throw plant poison down my throat.
We settled into the living room and the couch exchanged Emmett for Edward. He settled into my side and Emmett wrapped himself around Rosalie in the giant poofy arm chair across the room. Everyone grew silent and turned towards the ring master.
"What're the orders, Captain?" Jasper asked, throwing Emmett an easy smile and recrossing his legs that were sprawled acoss the giant ottoman in front of he and Alice.
A low laugh spread across the room, and while it wasn't the loud, lighthearted sound the 6 of us usally emitted, it was a little less tense than I expected.
"This is when we all throw down. If you have something still on your chest, get it off. This is the final phase, kids. No one leaves this room until we all agree that the slate is clean, the a-holes in us all are gone, and the love is 100 percent back. It's an open floor. Go."
"I have something I need to say," Jasper said right away, raising his hand like I had before for some reason.
"Go for it, bro," Emmett said, pointing to the middle of the room, where we were apparently supposed to "throw down".
Instead of directing himself towards the middle of the room, however, Jasper turned directly to me.
"Bella, I hate that you turned down Waits Nap Time. I understand what you were doing, but, man. That sucked a lot."
I blinked a few times and said nothing. Everyone's eyes were on me as I fought for a proper response. I could only come up with one.
"I'm sorry, Jasper. I wasn't thinking clearly."
He nodded once and winked at me, and I knew we were good even before he responded, "I was impressed by your backbone, I must say. I thought for sure the green tea-Jasper-Waits combo would break you."
We laughed quietly and Edward put his arm around my shoulder. Jasper's blantant admittance of upset set a good tone to begin the apology throw down. Things proceeded much the same way from that point on.
"I knew things were really bad when Emmett was yelling at me, and he called Bella, Bella. Not Bellarina," Rosalie said, jolting the whole room.
There was a collective gasp from everyone, even from Emmett, and I couldn't help but feel like this was definitely an important detail. Things had gotten serious. Emmett had never, ever called me anything other than Bellarina or sister ever since we met.
"Oh man, I don't think I even caught that," Emmett said with a far away look, as if he was trying to remember the exact moment the atrocity happened.
"Emmett, I'm really upset that you called me Bella," I vented, sitting up a little bit and really feeling sad.
"I know sister, I'm sorry. Won't happen again. I'll keep myself in check."
"That would have freaked me out," Alice confessed, earning the attention of the room.
Alice then informed Rosalie and I that she couldn't decide who she was more upset at, us for letting ourselves get so out of control, or her for thinking she had any control over it all. We both apologized profusely for ruining her launch party, and she only agreed to forgive us if we agreed to do an undisclosed favor for her. Of course the deal was struck immediately, and the victorious look on her face made me fairly certain I'd just signed myself off to some sort of beauty torture.
I told Alice and Jasper that it was a bit offensive of them not to come to Edward and I's defense, and that's why I cut myself off from them too. Edward expressed how he felt left out while he was one tour the first time, so this past time he was almost glad to be detached from everyone due to the fight, and he did feel selfish in that regard.
Within an hour's time we were just admitting things to the air, lounging comfortably in groups of two and getting back to being comfortable.
"I hate the fact that the band will never tour again," Emmett admitted.
"I hate the fact that the band will never tour again," Edward seconded.
"I'm sort of upset that I never got to play with Aro. No offense Emmett, but I bet he's just crazy," Jasper said almost wistfully.
"I miss Aro," Alice sighed.
"Me too," Edward said, nearly laughing at his own admittance.
"I don't like the fact that I haven't seen you guys play in forever," I pouted. "I miss live music."
"I miss being in front of people," Rosalie announced. "I miss the lights and the costumes and the attention."
"I hate the color of the bathrooms in Crimson & Clover. I want you guys to repaint them," Alice said, poking Jasper in the chest.
"I hate painting," Emmett groaned, making everyone laugh.
The laughter died down and a soft silence took over, settling itself into our bones and our frienship, making it ok to just sit and be us again. After a few minutes of nothing but that content silence, Rosalie spoke up agian, this time softer.
"You guys, I really, really hate the fact thay your children will never have the cousin they should have from our side of the family. I hate that so, so much."
She was definitely teared up again, and this time I had no choice but to go to her.
Emmett's strong arms were already wrapped around her, but I weaseled my way in and got one of my own snaked around her middle somewhere. Very soon after Alice settled in between Emmett and I, sort of straddling Rosalie and hugging Emmett at the same time. I'm pretty sure all 4 of us had tears in various stages of falling down our faces.
"I hate that, too, Rose, but it's going to be ok. There are so many options," Alice whispered.
I nodded my head, not able to speak, and felt Edward settle in behind me on the giant arm of the chair just as I saw Jasper lean down behind Alice and wrap one arm around her before setting his chin on Rosalie's chins.
In true us fashion, we stayed wrapped up in each other for a good amount of time, listening to Rosalie cry and sometimes crying with her. Alice would whisper things to her; beautiful things about saving other babies that didn't have capable mothers, or using the free time to reach out to groups of abandoned kids.
Eventually the crying softened, then died out completely, and soft laughs could be heard as we all retold stories of our own childhood.
"You did not fall of the stage," Jasper gawked at me, not lifting his head from Rosalie's legs but turning his eyes up to mine.
"And take 2 other little girls with you," Alice tagged on.
"I can't make this stuff up. My boa slipped from my shoulders and my feet got tangled. My mother was almost cruel, signing me up for ballett lessons with the knowledge of my uncoordination," I retorted, laughing at myself with all of the others. Edward was actually snorting a little bit, I think because we were all so giddy to be getting along again we were really getting silly.
Eventually it all died down, and there we still sat: tangled and together, and a little bit more experienced as a family than we were before.
Rosalie sighed and rested her cheek on top of Alice's head, closed her eyes, and smiled.
"This. This is exactly what I needed."
And all around her we all squeezed, hugged, loved, and forgave even more. All in signs of agreement.
It's a giant cheese ball at the end, I know, but I don't even care. I needed it after writing all the sad things in the last chapters, and starting school today.
Accounting makes me frown.
But you guys make me smile, so send me things to read if you have things to say about this chap :)
As usual, I hope I did not disappoint.
2 left. Prepare yourselves.
LOVE YOUS!