Chapter 25:

Bliss and Deceit

Once changed out of the dripping wet clothes, neither of us could possibly sleep, knowing almost automatically that the thing who tried to drown Raoul was quite possibly Erik. In fact, I knew it was Erik... I just don't know how definitive I might be on this matter. We held each other, knowing that he was deadly determined on killing Raoul just out of jealousy, I suppose... I couldn't let him go away from me and I wasn't able to open my eyes for the briefest second so he probably thought that I was sleeping, and he let me lay on the bed and left me in the room, and I had my ears open for any sort of sound, and if there was I swore I was going to scream.

I was so tired and so miserable, my hair still soggy and salty-smelling... All I wanted to do was forget for just a little while... why must he always be there to ruin it? Why does he insist on ruining my life after attempting to make it all better?

I slept after the longest time, assured that I would quite possibly be forced to return to him so what does it matter how or when? When he comes for me, what does it matter anymore? I've tried to be strong, but all I find now is emptiness and I'm breaking because the very man who told me to be strong is crippling me, stripping me of my defenses until I'm left for the dogs who wish to eat me alive.

I awoke to feel surprised that I was in the same room I fell asleep in, the day was stormy and not bright at all so we'd have to be cooped up in the house all day. I did my usual morning routine in the bathroom and then went to the phone to call Meg as she wanted me to. I found there were two missed calls; one from Meg (of course) and one from the theater. I grimaced and called Meg back first and then I would worry about going back to the theater. I told her I was perfectly fine which was a lie, that Raoul and I were having a great time, and I am almost back to my usual self. She bought my white lie as she usually did, but funny thing is I only told her of two days ago and the brilliancy of those hours.

Then, I called the theater back, knowing at the tip of my tongue they wanted me back, but I really didn't want to say so immediately. It was the exact thing they wanted, and just as I was about to give my reply, Raoul came into my room, opening his mouth to say something, but saw the phone in my ear. He put a finger up, to signal something that wasn't getting to me straight...

"Could you hold on for just a moment, sir?" I told the manager and he didn't have to answer before I put the phone against my chest.

"Who is that?"

"The theater wants me back as I theorized..."

"But you can't go back!" He said quickly. I furrowed my brow, and looked at him questioningly.

"Just one second..." I said a little too cheerfully.

"Miss!" I heard him exclaim on the other end.

"He'll take you again... Can't you see it?"

"Raoul... You're being paranoid. Erik had nothing to do with the audition of the theater." Lies... how terrible am I? "I'll go," I said into the phone. Besides, even if he is planning all of this along, I might as well end this entire fiasco and reject him totally. After threatening to kill my best friend numerous times, I really don't see how he thinks I will be able to love him... Honestly.

"Okay... well, good! It's really not like you have a choice for we have another soprano," He hinted and I rolled my eyes.

"Very well, sir. I'll be there tomorrow night." I answered before he finished his next statement, obviously a little... annoyed? No, not annoyed for it's kind of a weak term to put it in. Someone must be driving them insane just like the someone who is doing so. He plans on making anyone who crosses his way the same persona as him, doesn't he? Maybe it's all a game... I hung up the phone and put it on my vanity table.

"What if he comes... what are you going to do then?" He asked skeptically.

"I'm going to..." I began, thinking a little of what he would like to hear, "run." I shrugged and then hid my face into my arms, groaning. "Because that would work right?" I hissed unhappily.

"I'll be right there prepared for you to go if there's any hint that he's there." He promised, grabbing my shoulder.

"I can't keep running all my life, though. He'll find me when he wants to find me. It doesn't take too long, for I thoroughly believe he is listening to this conversation right now!" I laughed dryly, and I stopped, looking around us just as he did frightfully.

He then grabbed me by my shoulders and pulled me closer to his body, and tilted my head up tenderly, rubbing my cheek with his thumb so I had a perfect view of his eyes, and he pressed his lips onto mine very slowly, as if measuring what he'll do next. I went in further, wanting to cherish this moment for all time in case I never see him like this again. Never see him smile again... in case I break... and maybe I should cherish his life in case I never see him living again. How cruel is life, anyway? How cruel can Erik be?

"I could kill him, you know..." Raoul started, "I could honestly do that much."

I laughed dryly in his face, still slightly in a haze after the kiss. "I doubt it." I sighed, "Besides..." I began to feel something squeeze my heart, "He once almost died... and I don't know if he's recovered yet or not... there's some disease..." I said this in such a monotone manner that Raoul looked synonymous to a bowling ball when I looked up to him, struck in awe. If he would have said "that's perfect" I would have to slap his face and make a great show for whoever is watching. Erik might be wronging me all these times... but I still cared greatly if he was going to die... after all the rights he did do for once.

"Don't look so happy, Raoul," I spat at him, upset.

"Do I look happy?" He asked, startled by my outburst.

"There's a fat chance for you ever to not make your emotions noticeable." I glared, crossing my arms, stepping away, "He doesn't deserve death..." I said more to myself though he heard it. "Don't even think about killing him, anyway."

"You just don't want him gone. I know you better than that for you to lie to me."

"That is a lie..." I whispered, shaking my head. "I want him gone, but not dead."

"He deserves what's coming for him."

I groaned, rolling my eyes at him... so it was all coming down to this... "Let's get off the subject."

"You have to leave tomorrow," He pressed sadly.

"Yes, I do have to leave. I'll go back to Peabody like I need to... It's a chance that I'll never get again." I hinted, and then turned away as to not see his blue eyes which always seemed to persuade me one way or the other. I didn't need his hints right now. I can fend for myself for right now until I need him most. "We have all day, Raoul."

"Well... what is there to do? I'm not taking you out there again." He sternly replied and I nodded to myself.

"I know." I laughed dryly, "I'm not going back out there, either."

I think everything we said to each other was almost healed and we resumed the day just like yesterday, going for walks around his property (which his huge) and we went by the stables that he just recently bought from a neighbor that lives a few blocks away that holds about three horses. Philippe came along with us for once for he was excused from today at his office for some reason. He smiled brightly none the less, and had his own horse that he wasn't so good at riding.

The sun was just now deciding to show itself, making it even more humid than before, and miserable. Around the entire acre was trees so where they'd be riding, after I decided that I wouldn't be touching a horse in caution that I'd most likely fall off. I looked at him as if he told me the sky was purple when he offered for me to ride one of the horses.

"Ha ha..." I said blankly and then shook my head, crossing my arms. "No."

"But you have to!" He sounded like his little self when I was scared to go out on the water on the small little sailboat because last time we healed over enough the boat almost tipped over but he told me it wasn't even close. I hardly trusted him after that... Now the horse will probably hate me or something and rise up on his feet. He went into the smell barn and appeared with two helmets, one of which he was already putting on his head, and he threw the other to me to catch.

"Would it make you feel better if you rode with me? It's not so horrible when you have someone else, you know." He hinted imploringly and I only stayed there, crossing my arms and pressing my lips firmly together.

"Come on! It'll be an adventure!" he pouted and I smiled stupidly for he mimicked my own words. He pulled one leg over the horse, and sat taller than me, looking down boldly, like a strapping young knight on a brilliant steed. I blushed at this silly thing and then looked to his outstretched hand. "Don't you trust me?"

"More than anything." I replied furrowing my brow.

"Then put your helmet on and get up here." He pressed excitedly. I did so, looking to him as I strapped it under my chin, and held onto his hand, and mimicked his actions from before getting onto the horse uneasily and sat on its bare back with my legs wrapped around it's stomach.

"Loosen your legs or else you'll make it nervous." He said, holding onto my waist steadily, and I felt secure in that position, though it would probably hurt twice as much with him on top of me and on the hard and muddy ground below.

"Reach out and grab the reins," he said soothingly and took one of my hands and led it to the leather strap tied in between the horse's teeth, and onto its neck. He reached his arms around me, and grabbed them from my hands holding them through his hand, and his thumb on top.

"Hold them like this." He instructed calmly.

"But-" I rushed nervously.

"Do as I say and you'll be fine. This is a nice horse, aren't you Caesar?"

I laughed at the name quietly, and gripped the reins just as he did. He pressed his warmer body against mine, causing me to lean a little further carefully.

"Now... Tap the stomach with your ankles and he will begin to walk. Tug the reins to tell it where you want to go." He explained. "But don't do it too hard." He added passively and I did so, feeling like I was in one of those western movies, the heat beginning to beam down on us. The horse began to move and I leaned into Raoul in reaction, feeling it's back bones begin to move, my heart fluttering that he might suddenly go faster. I tugged at the left rein and he went that way.

"Awesome... now sit up straight and it'll give you more support." I obeyed uneasily. "See? It's not so hard."

I shook my head in the negative. It walked a little further that we were almost halfway up the pasture, and then he told me to tap the stomach a little harder.

"What will that do?" I asked warily.

"You'll see." I knew he smiled then, and the horse began to move faster just as I did that. It was actually kind of fun, my fear erased immediately as Raoul gripped me tighter, pulling his arms around my chest. "You're doing great, Christine! Now... shake the reins." I did so excitedly, and the horse began to trot quickly, and we moved around it almost too easily.

"Lean down in order not to fall off and absorb the bumps." The horse was running now, and we were going in circles, through the trees of the broad pasture. I laughed, feeling extremely freed of everything around us, that it was just me and him in a wonderful dream, riding through the pasture like in a fairytale. As soon as the horse was tired, we were walking it back to the stables to fetch some water for the horse and ourselves.

My pants were rather dirty, and as was my bottom, but it was worth it. I was smiling stupidly, feeling my legs were wobbly but I was fine altogether, wiping the sweat from my forehead.

"I'm going to miss having you around here. My brother is no fun at all." He pouted, grabbing the hose and kicking the bucket to where the horse could reach it.

"I'm sorry," I replied with a small smile. "Will you be there for the performance tomorrow?"

"My brother is going to our box, so I suppose I'll come as well." He shrugged. "It'll be a gift to hear you sing again." He said through the noise of the hose hitting the bucket. I shrugged as well, crossing my arms.

"Where's the water bottles?" I asked.

"In the small fridge near the dry erase board," he pointed to the door to the barn and I shuddered, knowing I'll be faced with something foul-smelling, so I scrunched my nose and opened the huge door revealing just what I thought it'd be, and went into the small white fridge, getting out a cold water bottle, and I forgot to ask him if he wanted one. I walked near the door.

"Do you want one?" I asked, and waited for the answer, near the door. When I didn't receive one so soon, I looked out of the door and to my most unpleasant surprise... Raoul was gone completely, the hose still on, and the horse tied to the small post, looking surprised itself.

"Raoul!" I screamed, my heart pounding against my chest, and the icy feeling of fear running through and through my spine. "Why does this always happen!?" I cried to nobody, feeling my heart race and everything seemed to be at a blur. I ran to the pasture and looked around at the vast expanse of trees and bushes that clouded it. He could be anywhere!

Relax, Christine... he probably went to go get something and was startled by something, therefore leaving the horse still standing there and... and the bucket overflowing of water. Yes, that's usual... Calm down, Christine... I'll find him.

I ran through the barn to see if I could find him there, but no such luck. I sprinted across the field, my feet feeling tingly and disgusting, and probably stepping in horse poop along the way, but I was panicked enough that I couldn't smell it or anything, my heart thudding in my ears so loudly, and fear was so heavy that I almost tripped over blades of grass.

"Raoul!" I screamed, feeling utterly helpless.

"Christine! I'm over here!" He cried out, and I ran for his muffled voice in whatever direction it was in, feeling extremely relieved that I could feel my feet again. I then heard him cry out and my heart would have gave way right there and then, but I had to see what was the matter... I had to find him... I had to tell him everything was okay just like he would for me. I never seemed to find him.. I never could no matter where I looked.

It was all too quick that everything was now a blur in my vision but I was grabbed by some unseen force, and I felt my feet give way. I kicked at the air until I found something I could kick, screaming out, and hitting whatever I could of the unseen thing, and it didn't take too long for me to realize that it was a black figure that was tall and skinny and everything I always knew he'd be like. It was possibly the most startling thing he's pulled off so far, and I began to scream my lungs out, trying to find a way out of his solid grasp. I pulled and bit and cursed the entire time, but to no avail. I think it was one specific thing I said... I don't exactly remember when (for it seemed like eternity he was fighting me as I fought him), but I felt a weakness point in his hold, and I took off running like I've never ran before, smiling to myself that I made it out. I went on running until I was near the barn screaming the entire way for Raoul, probably ruining my voice so much that I couldn't shriek much longer. My feet trampled over some rock that was right over mud from the previous rain, and it was in a split second that I was covered in mud.

It was all too quick, I was immediately hurdled over to and my mouth wrapped in a foul-smelling cloth that caused me to pass out into something other than mud... but the rest was all black from there.

I awoke... in a car. A familiar car due to many terrible memories. I had to blink a few times to make sure this was no nightmare, and then pinch myself, but I ached all over, so it hurt. I gasped in pain from doing that much. I looked over to the masked man dressed in black from head to foot, and some odd feeling came over me, and I looked at him skeptically.

"Erik?" I asked, but he didn't move. "Why... why did you do this?" I asked, my voice very cramped and weak from screaming not too long ago.

"Don't speak to me, Christine," He answered, that voice pained and very weak as well. "Your voice needs rest now after you so stupidly ruined it not too long ago..."

"I have to perform tomorrow, Erik! Take me back!" I gave that petty excuse which, of course, he would no longer accept.

"Yes, that seems perfectly reasonable, my dear. So you could take advantage of me once more and run away with that stupid boy once you're finished. You really shouldn't think me so stupid, Christine." He hissed acidly.

"But they need someone to perform." I might as well use it dry until it's dead. I gave the stupid thought that I could annoy the hell out of him and maybe he'd let me go because I was so childish and naïve which is when I realized that I've always been like that.

"They'll get someone else, but my Christine isn't going tomorrow."

"I'm not yours, nor was I ever, Erik!" I defended quickly, "You lied to me, you jerk! You lied and told me that we were married, and that you were my guardian and I didn't even have a damned guardian!"

"You've done your own share of lying." He replied smoothly and I saw his golden eyes that seemed to glow like fire at the moment, staring at the road and driving fast, look pointedly down to my hand that rested tensely on my lap. I looked down to where he did, and looked back to him questioningly, not understanding.

"I never lied to you." I replied with a quiet and raspy voice.

"I beg to differ," He replied and snatched my left hand from my lap and something horrible went through my entire back as he grabbed it with so much force it hurt. I noticed just then that his ring was gone from my fourth finger.

"Oh..." I replied feeling fear come through my entire body. "I don't even remember taking it off, though! I don't believe I ever did, Erik! You must believe me!" He was hurt deeply, and I think that he scoffed to himself in another language before making it apparent and understandable to me.

"How can Erik tell that you're not lying to him, Christine? He heard every word that you said, every single one... he knows everything, and don't think he doesn't. I understand everything, you damned witch..."

"No you don't!" I huffed back, feeling hot tears prick my eyes.

"I thought I saved you from going to that foster home and coming with me... And you took advantage of everything I ever gave to you. Not once did you ever think to look back to your poor Erik... And how selfish are you now? I give you a chance to study at a conservatory and you run away from it to that boy who could give you nothing! I trusted you... I love you... I let you go because I love you... can't you see?"

I had nothing to say, and put my head into my hands and sobbed. He wouldn't listen to me even if I tried. He would mend things and make the worst out of it when all I wanted to do was to not hurt him. "I didn't want to harm you... I-I thought... you weren't going to come back..."

"Why would you care?" He spat back acidly. "All you ever have done is harm me, Christine... over and over again... it's okay to harm things you hate, isn't it? You've shown me enough of that before, have you not?"

"I don't hate you..." I whimpered, choking back more tears to sound strong, though I was breaking. "I've told you that before."

"I can't listen to that anymore, Christine."

"Oh, please..." I begged and he raised a strict hand to silence me, the car had finally stopped, though, so his hand was off the steering wheel, and his hand could have easily came near my face to strike it but it seemed to have stopped in midair.

"Make up your mind, Christine!" He spat suddenly taking me aback once more.

"Erik-" I began but he silenced me by putting a hand over my mouth, of which I could have bit, but... Ick, never mind. I could only glare at him, frozen in a rebellious position.

"You don't need to speak, dear... no, not until it's time." He pressed dangerously, finally he let go of my mouth and got out of the car.

"What... what do you mean...?" I asked, getting out of the car as well before he touched me again.

"You can hurt things you hate, right? It's perfectly reasonable, is it not? Well... I think I will hurt the thing I hate most today... I'll hurt him a lot."