A/N:: SOOOOOOOOO sorry that this has been taking me a long ass time to get out to you guys. If it makes any sense at all, my personal life has been completely tied up for awhile now (one of my best friends is getting married and the bachelorette party of the century had to be planned. Then, once it actually happened, I had to recover from it. It was a process, let me tell you). Again, so sorry!
Thank you to my loyal readers! Your reviews/attention to the story is so very appreciated...any chance we can (with this chapter) increase the reviews to 200? It would be wayyy cool!
AND THANK YOU SO VERY VERY VERY MUCH FOR MY NEW AND INCREDIBLY AWESOME BETA, DOINFINE. THIS CHAPTER'S FOR YOU, KID :)
BPOV
"Uh...Edward?"
"Yes?" Edward said, lying down on the bed beside me, pushing a strand of hair out of my eyes.
"As beautiful as that all was...we just did something VERY stupid," I sighed, sitting up and pulling the covers around me.
Edward looked at me quizzically. "What do you mean, 'stupid'? I thought that you wanted to-"
"Edward, I wanted to do everything that we did, trust me. But, um, here's the thing..." Fuck. I had absolutely NO idea how to tell Edward that our "heat of the moment" just may very well be the moment when we conceived a baby...
"Bella? What is it? You are scaring me," Edward said, sitting up next to me, pulling the covers up around him. He grabbed my hand, most likely in attempts to coax whatever I needed to say out of me.
"Uh, the thing is...I'm not on the pill. Or any other kind of birth control, for that matter...the surge of hormones make me sick, so sex with me has to involve a condom...and we didn't use one just now..."
"Fuuuuck," Edward said, running a hand through his hair as he realized what I was saying. Without saying another word, he jumped out of bed and headed over to the pile of clothes that we had haphazardly discarded and started getting dressed.
"Edward?" I said, wondering what the hell had suddenly gotten into him to make him bolt from bed so quickly. Now knowing how outrageously stupid I was for not mentioning this earlier, was HE second guessing our time together? Is that why he shot out of bed like a bat out of hell?
Pausing to put on his second sock, Edward looked me right in the eyes. "Bella, do you want to have kids right now?"
That question threw me for a loop so quickly that it made my head spin. Shaking my head to compose myself and thinking for a moment, I unsteadily said, "No...."
"Okay then, love. We are going to get you the morning after pill. Like now, because, to be quite frank, I don't want us to have to deal with the difficulties that an unplanned pregnancy brings." Bending over to put on a shoe, he motioned for me to start dressing myself also. "I want to do this right. I want to do right by you, Bella. You mean too much to me to not."
His admission caused my eyes to tear up. "Oh Edward..."
"Bella? Why are you crying? Shit...is it because I was so irresponsible? I am so sorry Bella; I should have asked if you were on the pill. I don't even know why I didn't! Please, forgive me..."
My eyes narrowed. "What? It's just as much my fault as it is yours, if not more so because I knew that there was no other form of protection being used. I'm sorry that you thought that I was crying about that. Just let me get dressed, okay? Let's get this done and over with."
With that, I hurriedly threw my clothes on and grabbed my purse, following Edward out the door.
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Having your boyfriend's adoptive father as a doctor is more useful than you would imagine, especially when it comes to situations such as the one that Edward and I had found ourselves in.
Nevertheless, it sure as hell was embarrassing when Edward explained to Carlisle just exactly why we needed a morning after pill at this time in the night.
Thank God, he was a progressive thinker and not anything like my father Charlie. If Carlisle were like Charlie, Edward would have a bullet lodged somewhere between his shoulder blades or worse...in between his ears.
I love my boyfriend too much to let one of our fathers shoot him.
I gladly took the pill that would hopefully stop Edward and me from becoming parents. As Edward drove us back to his place, a million thoughts ran through my head. How unlucky would we be if we got pregnant after sleeping with each other for the first time?
I began pondering the idea of having a child with Edward. Although I was not opposed to the idea in the slightest, I did not want that for us right now at this point in our lives. I wanted both Edward and I to finish school, and to have some structure to our lives outside of school and the sorority. Not to mention, the idea of not living with roommates and being able to spend money on things other than tuition and food was also something to look forward to.
There was no doubt in my mind that I would want to someday have children with Edward, and no doubt in my mind that if we were to get pregnant, we would happily raise the child together. Right? I shook my head and felt tears start to well up in my eyes.
"Hey, Edward?" I said, breaking the comfortable silence that had fallen between us.
"Hmmm Bella?" Edward said, turning his head to me.
Nervous, I swallowed loudly. "Um, if this little pill that I just took doesn't work its 'magic'...what is going to happen to us?"
With a concerned look on his face, Edward pulled the vehicle over to the parking lot of a church and shut off the ignition. He turned to look at me again, he grabbed my hand and started rubbing circles on the back of it with his thumb. "Bella, obviously I haven't been all too clear with my emotions and intentions. I am sorry. I know that blaming my childhood on every emotional problem that I have seems like a 'cop out,' but I'm sorry that everything that happened back then made me the way I am now. I'm sorry about all of this; for making love to you before you knew that I loved you. But I do, Bella...I love you. I love you, so very, very much. You are the greatest thing in my life, the reason I get out of bed in the morning. And if it turns out that I did get you pregnant, I will stand by you. I'll stand by you forever, Bella, no matter the circumstances."
Feeling the tears that had been building up finally spill over, I squeezed Edward's hand. "I love you too, Edward. I always have."
Using his free hand to wipe away my tears with his thumb, Edward cupped my cheek with his palm. "Please, baby; stop crying. It will be okay."
Leaning my face into his hand, I looked Edward directly in the eyes. "I'm not worried about our future, Edward...I'm...happy. Happy that you love me, happy that Jacob was wrong about my potential, happy that you are able to love me as I love you. Thank you so very much for being so wonderful, thank you so very much for being...you." I leaned over and captured Edward's mouth with my own, causing a moan to tumble from his perfect lips.
Suddenly turned on, I shifted in my seat and broke off the kiss. "Edward, we are in a church parking lot right now. AND we have no protection; we don't need a repeat performance of all of that."
Edward leaned back and gave me his crooked grin. "You are right, love. This can wait until we get back home."
My stomach fluttered when Edward referred to his house as "home" instead of taking any sort of possession of it. As if to imply that it was mine somehow too. 'That's ridiculous Bella,' I scolded myself. 'Edward was just making an easy reference to his house,' I reminded myself. Never the less, I let my mind start to wander as I pondered living with Edward and waking up every morning with him by my side as we finished driving 'home.'
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"Bella, you are absurd. Don't pull the 'it was an accident' with me...you KNEW that you wanted to have sex with Edward last night...why didn't you bring protection just in case? Does your dumb ass WANT to get pregnant?" Alice said as soon as we reached the condom aisle at Walgreen's. Cocking her eyebrow at me, she reached for the "Magnum" condoms and threw Walgreen's entire stock into our shopping cart.
"That works," I said, feeling my cheeks heat up in embarrassment.
Tapping her finger to her temple, Alice replied, "I know."
I backpedaled. "Alice! That's gross! You 'saw' Edward's...size?!!?"
She let out a high-pitched giggle. "Not exactly...I just saw you being REALLY happy..."
"Enough!" I yelled, cutting her off. "We are in a family-friendly business! There are small children around here, seriously. Can we refrain from talking about that kind of stuff right now?"
Alice let out a series of giggles again, patting my arm. "Sure, Bella."
We finished getting everything on our shopping list, and headed to the checkouts, having filled only one shopping cart- that was a fantastic feat for Alice. She was used to waltzing into many a store and needing to have both herself and me or Rosalie (or on a really bad day, Rosalie AND me) push a cart. Damn woman and her damn shopping addiction.
"Bella, you go first, okay?" She said, pulling the cart up to an open cashier.
"Not a problem. Just help me sort through all of this, all right?" I said as I started pulling my items from the cart.
Not noticing any of my surroundings, I heard my name being called by the cashier and I snapped to attention.
"Bella! Hey, long time, no see! What brings you here?" Jacob said, starting to scan my items in a very fluid motion, making him an effective cashier to say the least.
"Jake! Just picking up some necessities, you know? Anyways, you work here? What happened to Subway? Thought you loved that place," I said, pausing to look at Jacob as Alice took over and started piling my items next to the cash register.
"Yeah, but Nessie hated the smell of the place. She would ban me from the apartment until I had showered," he said, scanning a set of bobby pins and reaching for the next item...or items...my 20 or so boxes of condoms.
Fuck my life! Could things get any more awkward? Knowing that Jacob was touching each of the boxes of condoms made a little bit of bile rise to my throat.
His hand hit the box of condoms and I saw his eyebrow rise. "Necessities, huh?" he said, scratching his head. "If I wasn't so happy with Vanessa, I might be a jealous man," he said, smiling.
"Er...yeah...necessities," I said, throwing a menacing look to Alice for choosing this lane to check out AND for placing the entire stock of the store's condoms into my cart.
The little bitch just shrugged and smiled.
"Well, looks like you have been doing well then," Jake stated, motioning his hand over all 20 or so condom boxes. "Don't need me around, huh?" he said, still laughing.
I know that Jake was being playful, but in light of recent events, my memories of Jake were tainted and at the forefront of my mind. I still couldn't believe that he made me feel so worthless on the last few days of our relationship; especially considering how very close we were before we had started dating. Not to mention the fact that while he and I were dating, I hated the smell of Subway to the point of wanting to commit homicide- but with Vanessa, he uproots his entire life and gets a new job. Really, I didn't mind. I have never viewed Jacob romantically, if I were being honest, but he had supposedly "loved" me and had apparently treated me worse than he was capable of treating someone special. Because of this, bitch Bella decided to make a small cameo.
"Yeah, I have been doing very well, actually. I lead a very SATISFYING life," I said, stressing the word satisfying in hopes that he would catch my innuendo. Sure, Jake and I had sex when we were together, but never once had I had an orgasm. Definitely NOT the case with me and Edward, so obviously, it wasn't me. Normally I wouldn't throw something of that nature in his face so crudely, but I couldn't help it. I cried too many tears over his parting words and he deserved to hear something that would leave stinging pain in its wake.
Jacob's laughs immediately subsided as he scanned my last item. Frowning at me, he opened his mouth. "I guess I deserved that," he said, shrugging his shoulders.
"Damn skippy, you did," Alice said from behind me as I pulled out my wallet to pay.
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On the drive home from the store, I was still a little mad at Alice, and I felt a deep frown play across my features.
'What the heck is wrong with me? Normally things like that wouldn't have bothered me as much as they have been. I have been one cranky bitch lately, that's for sure.'
Because Alice was perfect at reading me, she knew that something was upsetting me. Turning to face me, she nudged my arm with her arm. "Bells, I just wanted to say that I am sorry, for putting you in that position."
I scoffed at her, licking my lips.
She blinked at me, not letting up. "Seriously, I am. I just, oh, I don't know...felt like Jacob deserved it? He was being such a smug son of a..."
"Alice," I said, cutting her off. "Don't you think that should have been my decision to make? Because I am still quite embarrassed about talking about that kind of stuff with Jacob. I mean, yeah, he was a crappy boyfriend in the end, and now I feel like he is rubbing Vanessa in my face (even though I could care less), but it still feels like crap knowing that I rubbed my sex life in my ex's face. I feel like you pushed me in the direction for me to do something wrong."
Alice looked like I had just kicked her puppy. 'Bella, you have to fix this,' I thought to myself. I took a deep breath, and decided to try to lighten the mood. "Ali, its okay...just don't ever put me in a position where I am forced to face Jake with a box of Magnum condoms, okay? Cause we all know that the Magnums aren't for him," I said, giggling.
Alice let out a small laugh. "Okay, I promise...no more condoms, condom comments, or condom jokes around Jake. Cross my heart and hope to die."
"You say that like it's going to be hard not to talk about condoms in front of him."
She smirked at me. "Well, it just may very well be hard to not talk about condoms in front of him. Because apparently people I know need to be re-taught about safe sex, and I may be the one who has to re-teach them. Lesson one-at the beginning of a relationship, always use a condom," Alice said, purposely avoiding my glare as a larger than normal smile stretched across her face.
I playfully hit her on the arm. "Shut UP! Seriously, I am sorry that my brain stopped functioning at that moment...could you blame me? It was Edward! EDWARD! You know, the guy I have been in love with for years? I mean honestly, I couldn't help myself! I didn't stand a chance once his clothing..."
"NO! Stop, now! Don't want to hear it!" Alice interjected, fisting her hands on her ears and scrunching her nose.
"But I thought-"
"NO! For real Bella! You are like a sister...hell, you are my sister...and I don't want to hear about your sex life...! Argh!"
"What about your 'visions'? Ten minutes ago you told me to buy larger than average condoms…"
"What about my visions? They are personal, and I like to keep them that way. But it's quite another thing to hear it from you...ugh! Can we stop talking about this, please?"
I laughed to myself, satisfied with how flustered Alice had become. 'What's that saying?' I thought to myself, 'Oh yeah, that's right...pay back's a bitch.'
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I unloaded my purchases from the vehicle, except for condoms, in record time, and hopped back into the car quickly, excited to see Edward again. If I was being honest with myself, I was excited to show him my surprise too.
'Maybe we will be able to try the Magnums out,' naughty Bella said. I shook my head at the 'horny teenager' I had become. What a difference Edward makes in my life...he affects me in more ways than one.
I may have sped on my drive to Edward's house, but I couldn't be too sure. Honestly, my mind was somewhere else...caught in a daydream starring a certain bronze haired, green-eyed man.
Practically skipping to his front door, I jumped into his house and full-on tripped over a pair of shoes that were laying in the entry way. "Mother fu-"
"Hello, Bella," I was interrupted by Edward, who held his hand out to steady me. I eagerly grabbed it and lifted my face to look him in the eyes. I was immediately taken back by the sight...Edward's eyes, which were usually alive with excitement, were now dull. His mouth twitched into a frown, and even the tone of his voice was cold and almost steely.
I panicked, and felt my stomach hit the floor...Edward had never once ever acted so cold to me, not even when he was in the hospital. It freaked the shit out of me, to be frank. My palms started sweating immediately, and I felt my mouth start to water as though I were getting ready to vomit.
"Edward? What's wrong?" I said, feeling my voice shake in nervousness.
His face drew into an even larger frown as he stayed silent while leading me into his dining room. Edward was still holding on to my hand tight, and I had to try my hardest to not trip over my own feet as his pace was much quicker than I was used to.
We reached the dining room and I was met by Carlisle, who was sitting at the head of the table, also wearing a worried look on his face. "Bella," he said, motioning for me to take a seat.
Clearing my throat, I made an attempt at speaking. "Dr. Cullen, is everything okay?"
He shook his head. "Listen, Isabella, we need to talk." I blanched...no one uses my first name, unless they mean business. 'What the fuck is going on?'
Carlisle's voice interrupted my thoughts. "Edward's first foster dad's lawyer called...he is up for parole again," Carlisle said, as Edward slammed his fist down on the table in anger, causing a glass to fall over and shatter. Carlisle looked at him and continued talking. "And it appears that Edward has to testify again against him. This time as a character witness."
A/N: The whole "unlucky enough to get pregnant on our first time" is TOTALLY my little homage to Breaking Dawn. That shit ALWAYS makes me laugh.
Hope my drama factor hasn't been too outrageous for your tastes…the storylines will start tying themselves together soon enough, which means that the story will be done with sooner than I'd like to admit! :(
Any special requests or anything like that? Let me know!
Once again, thank you to all of you who read/review/have favorited/have on alert this story. I write for all of you!!
AND let's all thank doinfine for making this chapter readable!! YAY! :)