"Can I come in?"

Miles sighed inwardly at the sound of Charlie's voice and was tempted to say no. He had just finished a meeting with several officers and wanted to be left alone. No, what he really wanted to do was take off to the Republic and find Nora. Kelly was making that near impossible though. She kept pulling rank, rightly so, and telling him he worked for her. He wasn't in charge anymore. He was tempted to go AWOL. For now, he was stuck and relying on a terrible web of dwindling spies to be his eyes and ears.

"Is it something important?"

"I brought you some dinner and a drink that isn't alcohol." she smiled slightly, eyes wandering to the near-empty bottle of bourbon on the corner of the desk. She looked back at him, took in the three day's worth of scruff and dark circles under his eyes, and the smile vanished.

"Thanks but I'm not hungry." he pulled his chair closer to the desk and opened a report to read. He wasn't being stubborn or petulant. He physically could not eat. He would get a few bites down every few hours, then feel sick. The stress, fear, and guilt was too overpowering for anything else. He was surprised he was even functioning enough to give out orders and receive reports. Though, he had to admit, it wasn't as though he was contributing much to the conversation- just glare, yes/no, and get the fuck out.

"You look terrible."

"Thank you."

"I'm worried about you."

"Don't be."

"Well, I am." she sat down in front of his desk and placed the plate on top of the report. "What did they say?"

"They think she's in Philadelphia but no one can confirm that for sure. There was someone who matched her description but she hasn't been seen since. She's either being well guarded and by someone he trusts or-" he cut himself off sharply and reached for the bourbon. He had been past the use of a glass for a few days now. That probably wasn't helping either. She frowned as he took a long sip, then tilted his head back against the chair.

It had been two weeks since Nora had gone missing. He had spent the first few days surveying the surrounding area himself. As they moved further to Atlanta, he had dispatched others to look for her. He couldn't be in two places at once. That was where the guilt came in. It shouldn't have mattered what was going on in Georgia. It shouldn't have mattered that Kelly threatened to have a guard on him 24/7 and snipers on every roof if he tried to leave the city. He could outwit them, find some way to get to the Republic without her knowing.

Then what? He couldn't get into Philadelphia without getting himself killed. He knew rationally that Bass would have heightened security to ridiculous proportions since the last time Miles got into the city. Even if he happened to get past the gates, his odds of finding her and getting out alive were weak. Kelly had already told him she would not authorize an attack if and when he found Nora. She wasn't going to infiltrate the Republic for just one person.

"I understand she means something to you Miles but this is war. You know that better than anyone. There are casualties. I'm sorry that she's one of them but I have bigger things to worry about. I have thousands of people who are counting on me to protect them. I can't go to Sebastian, guns blazing, just because he has someone special to you."

He squeezed his eyes shut at the memory and tried not to envision what she was going through at the moment. But he knew exactly what was happening, wherever it turned out she was. He was the one who had instilled many of the militia interrogation methods. Somewhere, in the back of his head, he hoped she was with Bass and, even more stupidly, hoped there was some piece of the old Bass who wouldn't be so harsh on her.

"We'll figure something out."

He said nothing but mentally agreed. He had to figure something out because if he didn't try and get to her, he was going to go crazy and never forgive himself. He reached for the bottle again but found it gone. His eyes wandered to Charlie, who smiled kindly as she held it in her hands. He stared at her for a few seconds and realized there was no point in fighting. He could hardly believe it had only been two weeks ago when Nora had also taken charge, albeit in a different context.

"I don't like him either. I don't want to be him. I try and I don't know how not to be other than..."

"...other than drowning yourself in a bottle of bourbon? I'm not going to let you do either. I'm not going anywhere. We're going to do this together, just like we have been, and I promise I am not going to let you go down that path again. That's why I'm here, right? We keep each other going, help the other through rough times."

He had a strong suspicion that the pair had had a conversation entitled "What to Do If I'm Gone and You Need to Take Care Of Miles."

"Eat your dinner." Charlie stood up, pointing at the plate. "Please. You're no use to her if you're drunk and starving."

Bass was beginning to think that he had gone about this all wrong. As he watched Alex across the dining room table, he realized he hadn't placed much stock in his feelings for Nora. Three months was such a short amount of time. Compared to six years, three months was nothing. It seemed illogical to Bass that they would have been able to build some sort of connection. Add in the negative propaganda he had been feeding Alex, and it seemed safe to assume he would relinquish whatever thoughts and feelings he had towards his parents. Yet, as he watched his son morosely push his dinner around the plate, Bass knew the recent events were bothering him.

"Something wrong with your food?"

He didn't want to be that parent, the one who forced their kid to eat by playing the 'there are starving kids all over the Republic who would be grateful to have your dinner' card. But he also didn't want to play into the apparent angst and show sympathy.

"No."

"Then eat it."

A scowl crossed Alex's face and Bass clenched the fork in his hand as he realized in that second how much he reminded him of Miles. He had always been sheltered and given everything and anything he needed and asked for. He had always been happy, always been loving, always looked at Bass like he had hung the moon and the stars. Bass did everything in order to make sure there was never any doubt or suspicion in Alex's mind that he was not his father or that he didn't love him.

That expression was a slap in the face, a reminder that despite all that, he was really not his. That was why he got so agitated at the thought that Alex was pining for Nora and Miles. As far as Alex knew, they had never done anything for him. Even in the time he spent with them, they had dragged him through hell only to dump him at a random stranger's house. But you never gave them a chance. He ignored the small voice in the back of his head along with Nora's words from the previous week.

"Can I see her?" Alex's voice caught his attention and he looked up. They stared at each other and apparently Bass's silence was unappreciated as the boy repeated his question a second time.

"No."

"Why not?"

"She's not feeling well. She needs to be left alone. I want you to forget she's here. She'll be gone in a few days anyway." The question had blindsided him. He knew Nora would want to reach out to him. He hoped he would have been able to use Alex as a bargaining chip but so far that hadn't worked. Even if he suspected Alex might have wanted to go to Nora, he never thought he would be outspoken or brave enough to ask it.

"But I haven't seen her. I... I miss her."

"Alex, remember what we talked about. I don't want you to get hurt and if I let you see her, you'll only get upset. She doesn't want to see you."

"I don't believe you."

"What?" his eyes narrowed slightly as he tried to remain calm. This wasn't just some militia soldier. This was Alex, his son, whom he had fought for and he'd be damned if everything he had worked for suddenly started to unravel. "Things are confusing. I know-"

"Why did you hit her?"

"I didn't."

"Yes you did. I saw you."

"You're wrong. I would never hit someone."

"Why is she here?"

"I told you-"

"I don't believe you!" the outburst was unexpected, as was the way Alex suddenly flew out of his seat. He stood at the table, tears bubbling to the surface even as he desperately tried to fight them off. Bass was sure his mouth was hanging open. "You said you wouldn't lie."

With that, he fled from the dining room and Bass stood quickly, shouting for Alex. By the time he had reached the hallway, he heard the door to Alex's bedroom slam shut. He stood with his fists clenched tightly, suddenly at a loss.

She was sure she was dying. Everything hurt like hell and her head felt like she had the worst hangover ever. That had to be dying. She turned her head a little, bit back a groan at how even the slightest movement felt like getting stabbed, and was ready to admit defeat. Then she felt a hand on her cheek, fingers brushing at her dirty, ragged hair, and stroking gently over the bruises.

"Miles," she leaned into the hand and squeezed her eyes shut tighter. It was over. Or maybe it hadn't happened at all and this was some awful nightmare. Maybe she had the flu. The flu caused all these problems, didn't it?

But the touch was all wrong. The hand was too smooth and soft, as if he hadn't touched a weapon in years. She realized that all too soon and felt sick. She started to move away but Bass wrapped her hair around his fingers and tugged a little, keeping her in place.

"Close but no."

"Get away from me."

"Again, no." his fingers tightened on her cheek and she grimaced, trying to pull away again. "Look at me."

He shook her a little for effort and she reluctantly opened her eyes. For a moment, there were two of him and the room was spinning but then her vision righted itself.

"What the hell did you give me?"

"An impressive mixture of drugs. How does it feel?"

"Screw you."

"You've never offered in the past." a smirk flitted across his face. "Why are you doing this?"

"Why am I doing what? You're the one torturing people."

"Why are you willing to go through this for him? Is it worth it?"

"I don't know where he is. I've been here for... what, two weeks now? He could be anywhere by now."

"You know where he is."

"I don't know anything."

"I don't believe that."

"Well, sucks to be you then."

He looked like he was tempted to hit her but refrained. His hand dropped from her face and he backed away slightly. She refused to be in such an inferior position and forced herself to sit up against the headboard. They stared at each other, as though they were trying to see who would break first.

"You try to act tough." he finally said. "You act like you would do anything for him, no matter what the price is, but you're scared."

"I'm not scared." That wasn't a lie. She wasn't scared of Bass, even if he disgusted her. She wasn't scared of dying. The only thing she was scared of the fallout if she did. What would happen to Miles, Alex, Charlie?

"No?"

"Not at all."

He lifted the corner of his mouth in a semi-smile and tilted his head as he observed her.

"Do you miss it?"

"Miss what?"

"Being here. Being on top of the world. Having everything you need and want. Not slumming it in the woods. I remember what it was like before we settled here. Abandoned buildings, tents, terrible food."

"No, I don't."

"Not even the least bit? You forget I know you Nora. You like the finer things in life."

"I like the things that matter to me. This godforsaken city doesn't mean a damn thing to me. You don't mean anything to me."

"But Alex does."

That quieted her and he pointed at her in a 'aha, got you' way.

"Who is more important to you? Miles or Alex? Don't be too quick to answer. Think it over. If push came to shove, who would you choose?"

"Are you that deranged that you'd hurt a child?"

"I never said I would hurt him. I asked who you would choose."

The answer was Alex. She knew it automatically. If there ever came a point where she needed to choose between her husband and her child, the latter would win. She didn't feel guilty about that. She knew Miles would do the same and that was more than fine with her. There came a time where Alex took priority. It was one of those unspoken agreements between them.

"You're causing him a lot of grief. He's acting out, not being himself. I don't want to let him near you yet because I don't know if you're going to do what I want. I don't want him to get more attached than he already is."

"You mean you don't want him to know you had me killed if it came to that."

"All you need to do is tell me where Miles is. I will stop all of this. I promise. You can be with Alex. You can stay in the city. Whatever you want, it's yours. I'll patch things up."

She studied him with a hard expression. If her arms didn't feel like jello, she would have tried to strangle him.

"The only thing I want is to know why."

"Why?"

"Why you took him from me. Why you lied that he was dead. We were your friends Bass. We loved you, trusted you, and you went and did this. You saw what it was doing to us and you just stood by and watched it happen. Ever since the night Miles brought Alex to me, that is the one question that kept going over in my head. Rachel gave about ten different answers and even if one of them was the truth, I wouldn't trust it. So I want you to tell me why you decided it would be a good idea to take my child from me."

He was regretting the decision to bring her up to his bedroom. He thought it would be like with Rachel. Play nice and get rewarded. Except Nora wasn't as easy to crack, wasn't as cold to turn on people without a single feeling of regret. He should have known that the time he spent in the same room with her would lead to this discussion.

"You and Miles were-are too good together. You're a dangerous combination. Letting you have a kid would have been a risk. I couldn't have that. Alex would have been great as a Matheson. I made him better. He's a Monroe. I wasn't going to let him go to waste or push me out of my own power. I would cultivate him, get him ready for when I deemed it necessary."

"What are you talking about?"

"Miles was getting... nervous. He would suggest that I go away for a few days or not push through a certain agenda. Why? I am the leader of this republic. He didn't want it when we started. He doesn't get to decide seven, eight years down the road that I'm not doing a good job. I knew what you were doing. You were gearing up to give me an early retirement. It would have been one, big, happy family at the top. Start the Matheson Dynasty." his fingers clenched around the blanket. She frowned at the remark. She had heard it before, as a joke from Jeremy, and never took it serious. He relaxed his hand, then continued on with his story.

"You have no idea how sick it made me to see you two together. It was always me and Miles. Even after you came, it was still me and him. After Trenton, it was like he stumbled out of the fog and saw what was in front of him. No more messing around. Suddenly I wasn't important anymore. I was the third wheel. He had you, you were starting a family, and he was happy. He didn't even want it. Never had. I was the one who had and deserved it. Rachel wouldn't give me what I wanted. You wouldn't leave him. I figured if you thought Alex was gone, you would leave and he would stay because the Republic was more important."

"So... so you were afraid that Alex was just a political chip but when you realized we were happy, you got jealous, and wanted it? You thought I'd just fall into your lap, like some pop-up family, and you'd be set? But it didn't happen how you wanted so you decided to ruin it? All these years and it was because you had a temper tantrum?"

"It wasn't just that."

"Well that's how it sounds to me."

"I'm done explaining myself to you." he looked away and she could have sworn there was a hint of tears in his eyes. "Tell me where he is."

"No."

"Then things are going to get worse. I'm done playing games. You're so willing to sacrifice yourself for him, then fine. You thought the dosage you got yesterday was bad, just wait. You're not getting any more of these reprieves."

"I never asked for them."

"I did care about you." he said after he was standing at the door with his back to her.

"No you didn't."

"I did."

"You only care about yourself Sebastian and what is going to benefit you. You're power hungry, obsessed, and you latch onto whatever you can find and refuse to let go because you can't seem to make your own happiness, even if it's at the expense of someone else's. If you cared about me, you wouldn't have done any of this and you'd let me go now."

She refused to look at him and the only response she received was the slam of the door, then the sound of the key turning in the lock.