MC: It's amazing, but I'm back. No, seriously, I'm back with a new chapter for you all (you know I don't update without a story), however it's heavily Doctor Who influenced. Seriously, if you don't know anything at all about Doctor Who, you may be like Axel and be completely clueless. That's okay though, just don't insult Four's scarf in front of Roxas and we're all good. Have fun reading.
DISCLAIMER: All the characters belong to Square Enix. That's excluding Paul McGann and Kysta Rodriguez, who are real people and belong to themselves, I think. Doctor Who belongs to the BBC. No money is being made off this story and is a work of admiration (aka fanfiction), for these companies' works. Oh right, I also don't own Monster Hunter, although I wish I did, that's Capcom's baby.
Ordinary Adventures
Chapter 25: The Wonderful Doctor of Who
"Oh look at that, he finally proved he wasn't a total jackass," Axel said, wiping a tear from his eye.
"I still would have gone for sweet bland predictable boyfriend," Kairi said, eating another kernel. "Some of the skuzzy things the lead did just aren't forgivable in my eyes."
"Yeah, the pig's blood thing was pretty gross," Axel agreed. He picked up the remote. "I think You've Got Mail is supposed to be playing. We've only missed the first twelve minutes."
"Let's do that. I don't think I can stand to watch skuzzy's sequel. I've come to really hate that actor."
"He really isn't that attractive, but I will never get over his part in that arson movie. The bit where he danced with the flames changed my life."
"It also got you to burn your shins."
"Minor details," Axel dismissed.
They watched the movie in relative silence. Both had seen it before, so it wasn't imperative to pay absolute attention, but it was one of Axel's nineties favorites and he didn't want any distractions. At about the point where Tom Hanks realized who his pen pal was, Roxas burst through the front door.
"Keep it down, will ya?" Axel snapped.
"Dude," Roxas laughed.
"What?" Kairi asked, craning her neck to look at him. That sort of language wasn't Roxas's usual vocabulary.
"Dude," he repeated, holding up a flyer.
"Dude," Kairi said upon seeing the flyer because no other response could properly convey her reaction. That was something Roxas had already discovered.
The flyer announced that coming to Twilight Town was the widely acclaimed production, Doctor Who: The Musical. It featured Paul McGann, continuing his role as the eighth Doctor, and Kysta Rodriguez—some famous Broadway actress—as his companion. The flyer also proclaimed that this was the first time Doctor Who: The Musical had ever been shown outside of Europe.
"I still don't see what the big deal is," Axel said.
"It's Doctor Who," Roxas said.
"So?"
"Doctor Who, Axel, Doctor Who."
"Again, so? What's so special about Doctor Who?"
"What's so special?" Roxas spluttered, slapping his forehead.
"You picked him not me," Kairi said. She would never date someone who had no interest in science fiction.
"In the history of all television, Doctor Who is the best sci-fi show ever. It first premiered in 1963 and has been on ever since, with the exception of the years between 1989 and 2005. That also makes it the longest running sci-fi show. During that break there was a movie in '96 and various other media forms of the good doctor. That includes this musical."
"Why haven't I heard of it?" Axel asked.
"It's British."
"Oh. If it's been around since '63, shouldn't Doctor Who be ancient by now?"
"It's The Doctor," Roxas snapped testily. "And he's better looking than you'll ever be."
"The Doctor's an alien who can regenerate and the regeneration process is how the BBC switches actors," Kairi explained. "It works surprisingly well. I've only seen the new series, so Ten's my favorite, but Amy Pond is simply gorgeous."
"Ten? Are you serious?" Roxas asked. "Eleven's better looking, but if you want true Who, Four's your man."
"But I've never seen One through Eight in action. You have yet to get me copies of the old stuff."
"Well, you're going to see Eight soon enough. I bought four tickets so we can go as a group."
"Excellent!"
"I am so confused right now," Axel said. "Where does Amy Pond fit in?"
"I'll show you Doctor Who tomorrow night and all will be explained," Roxas promised. He looked back to Kairi. "The play's on the 10th. You and Yuffie can make it, right? I think all the other shows are already sold out."
"Even if I can't, I'll still be there. Doctor Who doesn't come waltzing into our theaters that often."
"I hear there's even a number where the Daleks sing and tap dance."
That made Kairi pause. "Are you serious?"
"Maybe it's line dancing. I don't really know, but there's definitely dancing Daleks."
"I gotta tell Yuffie the good news," Kairi said, shrugging on her coat.
She hugged Axel and Roxas goodbye, then gave the latter a kiss on the cheek. At his surprise she explained that it was for the tickets. Then with a final wave of goodbye, Kairi left to inform her girlfriend that they were going to see a play with dancing tin cans.
When she got home, the first thing Kairi did was narrowly avoid being hit in the head by a wiimote. Instead, the controller sailed out the apartment door and hit the door to the apartment across the hall, albeit in a much lower spot than Kairi's head normally occupied. She retrieved the wiimote and reentered the apartment, this time moving a little more cautiously.
"Yuffie, what happened?" she called before entering the living room. Kairi didn't really think her girlfriend would throw anymore electronics, but better to announce her presence then be mistaken for a walking lamp.
"The goddamn Great Jaggi just fucking killed me!" Yuffie yelled, pointing at the screen as she still hopped and waved her other arm. "I was so close, Kairi!"
Kairi looked at the screen. "Velociraptors appear to be eating your corpse."
"No, those are just Jaggi," Yuffie sighed, sitting down on the couch. "I've been trying to complete the quest, Jump Four Jaggi, for the last six days and I've lost two ranks on this thing."
"What is Jump Four Jaggi?"
"It's a quest where I'm supposed to kill four Great Jaggi, giant velociraptors with frills on their necks, in fifty minutes. Usually I die too quickly or run out of time, but I was so close! Three dead and the fourth was badly wounded. Then two of these little bastards attacked from behind and killed me!" Yuffie jumped to her feet again and began pacing.
"Maybe you should take a break?" Kairi asked. "You nearly knocked me out just now when you lost control of this." She held out the controller, which Yuffie sheepishly accepted.
"But I have to complete this quest tonight, Babe. This isn't a quest they offer online full time."
"Then maybe you'll have to wait for the next time they offer it. I mean, how long will that even be? A month?"
"More like three."
"And since you're about to start your surfing season again, that isn't that big of a deal," Kairi said soothingly. "Now sit."
Yuffie obeyed. She also turned off the TV and Wii before looking at her girlfriend.
"What's up with you?" Yuffie asked. "I wasn't expecting you home for at least another two attempts."
"I left after Roxas gave me some great news," Kairi said, getting excited again. "Guess what's coming to Twilight Town?"
"What?"
Feeling a bit like she was repeating the conversation she'd had with Roxas, Kairi said, "Doctor Who: The Musical is coming and the show includes dancing Daleks!"
"Seriously? Cool. Are they multicolored like the new Daleks?" Yuffie asked.
"Now that I can't answer, but I have a feeling it's a no. Roxas got tickets for us both."
"When is it?"
"The 10th, and it's going to be a fun night."
"Oh, that sucks," Yuffie said, frowning. "I'll be in the middle of the Atlantis three day competition on the 10th. I leave Wednesday."
"It's okay, you can't cancel the biggest competition just to go to the theater with me."
"No, it's not okay." She kissed her girlfriend on the temple. "Kairi, I'm sorry, but this is a spur of the moment kind of thing and I just can't make it. So we will plan something for later this summer and we'll go together to a different better play and we'll love it, even if I think it's completely stupid, okay? It'll be some kick ass quality together time."
Kairi couldn't help but smile. "It's not that big of a deal, Yuf, but I'm glad you want to spend time with me so badly. So let's put the game aside and spend some time together."
Yuffie blinked and grinned when she felt Kairi's fingers on her collar. "You're right, I can be a hunter any time. Why don't we make a change in scenery and play a little Doctor."
"Doctor Who?"
"You bet."
xxx
"I've got bad news, Kairi," Roxas sighed.
"Me too," she said, adjusting the volume on her cell phone. Roxas' voice was always softer on the phone than in person. "Yuffie's leaving for a competition in two days and won't be back until the fifteenth. Then she'll be leaving for another one just a couple days later."
"At least your partner has a good excuse. Axel said the Doctor was stupid and that his scarf was… his scarf was…" He couldn't choke out the works.
"What did he say about the scarf?"
"That it was the worst abomination against fashion the world had ever seen and compared to Four, a mentally retarded alpaca who had been partly shaved and then Bejeweled by Reno would look like a fashion model."
"…That's really rough."
"I kicked him out. Now Reno wants to know where his dad is and why I keep crying. Half the time I haven't noticed I was even crying."
"I'm certain things will get better."
"You never insult the scarf, Kairi."
"I'll keep that in mind. Is Reno otherwise okay?"
"Yeah. Olette and Pence are babysitting him for me when I need to work and they'll take him while we're at the play. They're not musical fans and I respect that."
"So I'll invite Demyx instead? He's a fan of show tunes and while that's not the same thing as a musical, I think he'll still like it."
"Great. Then I can invite Sora and have a viable excuse for why Riku can't come. I hate that guy."
"I didn't know you and Sora were such good friends."
"Yeah, we really hit it off a while back. We like to call each other and talk about various shows and novels."
"Really? I did not know that. So will you pick us all up or will we meet at the theater?"
"Sora will pick everybody up. Riku apparently bought a car not that long ago and Sora has complete access."
"Are you sure Sora should be driving?"
"He's actually a decent driver when there aren't any distractions in the car, and the biggest distraction in his life has always been Riku, which is another reason why he shouldn't come along. So give Demyx a call and I'll see you on the 10th."
Kairi caught sight of Yuffie heading toward the door. She was carrying a partly zipped suitcase. She set the bag on a table and continued to cram a large coat into it. It looked like she was about to rip it to shreds in her attempt to pack it.
"I gotta go, Roxas," Kairi said, as she hung up. "Yuffie, cease and desist before I need to get you a new coat!"
Yuffie stopped and scratched the back of her neck. "I got everything to fit in here okay before."
Kairi took out the coat and folded it before replacing it in the suitcase. "Why are you even packing a coat? Aren't you going to the tropics? And you're not leaving for another two days!"
"Leon said to pack early this time, since Two-K nearly made us miss our plane last time. As for the coat, I always pack the coat. It's a nice coat."
"Which is why I didn't want you ripping it up. Come here, you. Yuffie, you fold it here and here and you don't crumple any of it into a ball." After the suitcase was properly zipped shut, Kairi said, "I can't believe you're missing the Who musical."
"I'm just not that big of a Who fan. Especially of Eight; he was the movie guy, right? The movie guy was a fop," Yuffie said knowingly. "No babe, I'm happy you get to go, but I'd rather watch my Who at home in bed with you."
"Kysta Rodriguez is supposed to be a looker."
"You're better looking."
"You haven't even seen her."
"I repeat my previous statement."
"What about Amy Pond? Am I better looking than her?"
"Who's Amy Pond again?"
"The Doctor's current companion, the attractive redhead."
"Oh her. Sure, she's attractive, but you're much better," Yuffie said nodding. "You're always the better choice."
"Are you just saying all this because you want to get laid?"
"No, but I wouldn't mind a good roll in the hay."
Kairi couldn't help but laugh at her snappy remarks.
Yuffie's cell phone went off and after glancing at the name she frowned. "But that'll have to wait until later. I gotta take this. Hey, the next time you go to the store, will you get me some tampons? Two-K stole the last three we had the other day and I'm worried we're going to have a giant mess on our hands."
Before Kairi could answer Yuffie had flipped open her phone and stepped out the door.
'I don't know whether to be pleased she thinks I'm so attractive or annoyed she just gave me the brush off,' Kairi thought.
Yuna waddled up and gave a loud wark. Kairi smiled as she bent down to pet her. At least the chocobo would always be ready and waiting for her attention.
"Oh well," Kairi said, as she picked Yuna up. "I can't expect Yuffie to drop everything to attend to my every need now, can I? At least she was laying the compliments on pretty thick before she had to go. Let's go watch some classic Who. I'm in the mood for Two, maybe Four with Romana 1. I love the internet."
xxx
Kairi hit the doorbell and waited. When there was no response, she pressed the buzzer again.
"Are you certain you have the right address?" Roxas asked.
"No, she's right," Sora said. "Kairi never messes these sorts of things up. I should know."
"Thanks, Sora. Just try not to trip on that scarf, would ya?" Kairi said.
"I'm not even wearing the scarf! That's all Roxas, since I'm Five," Sora said, shaking his celery.
"But Roxas's scarf is just the sort of thing you would trip over."
"We wouldn't be having this problem right now if we had just invited Riku."
"And we would all hate it if the evening was cut short because my foot ended up his ass," Roxas grumbled.
"I don't know about that," Sora said thoughtfully. "Even while wearing shoes you're feet aren't that big and I bet we could pull them out again without medical help. Now mine on the other hand…"
"Boys," Kairi snapped. "I did not come out here today to listen to you two discuss what can and cannot fit into Riku's rectum. And unless you want me to tell your husband what you're plotting, Sora, you're going to shut up about it right now."
"I wasn't plotting anything," he mumbled, but lapsed into silence.
Fortunately, at that point Demyx decided to answer the door. "Hey guys," he said. "I wasn't expecting you so soon. Come in, come in."
At Demyx's insistence, the three filed into his living room. He told them to wait while he found the right coat and disappeared into a back room. This annoyed Roxas, since he was certain that Demyx was going to make them late and he didn't want to miss any of the numbers. Sora just laughed and busied himself by playing with some of the objects on the mantel.
"If you break any of those, you owe me several hundred dollars," Zexion said, startling Sora into dropping the snow globe he held.
Kairi leapt toward Sora and the snow globe before he dropped it. As soon as she heard Zexion speak, she knew Sora was going to drop the toy. She knew because Zexion had startled her when he spoke, and if he had spooked her, then he had definitely spooked Sora enough to make him jump and drop the snow globe. Much to her surprise however, Roxas was the one to catch the falling object before it shattered.
'Clearly he's been spending more time with Sora than I thought,' Kairi realized. 'He recognizes Sora's reaction almost as well as I do, and his reaction time is faster.'
"We didn't realize you were there, Dr. Grey," Kairi said as she climbed to her feet. She was trying to be polite, since they did nearly break one of his mementos.
"Of course I am here," Zexion scoffed. "This is my house."
"Really?" Sora asked. "I thought it was Demyx's."
"He just lives here."
"But I thought—"
"You thought wrong."
"I'm ready to see the Doctor Whooseit play with you guys," Demyx sang, skipping back into the room. "What do you think of my coat?" It was large, black, and baggy, with no particular form to it. When the hood was up Demyx was unrecognizable.
"It's Doctor Who," Kairi gently corrected. She refused to comment on the coat.
"Doctor Who?" Zexion asked. "As in the British television show?"
"The one and same," Roxas said. "This is the musical we're going to."
"Really? Which doctor stars in it?" Zexion asked, picking up a large book and flipping it open.
"Paul McGann."
"He was Eight, correct?"
"Yes."
"I have always been rather fond of Eight," Zexion said. "He has such style. What about his supporting cast? Even if he's brilliant, the musical would be absolutely terrible if the rest of the actors could not act, sing, or dance. Poor writing would also kill the musical."
"I believe most of the cast is made up of a mix of the cream of London's actors and ex-Broadway stars," Roxas said. "As for the writing, it's a musical, it's supposed to be campy."
"I suppose the musical is also already sold out," Zexion sighed, shutting the book.
"Yup," Sora said. "Roxas managed to snag four tickets. One for him, one for me, one for Kairi and one for—"
Before Sora could finish that sentence, Demyx—who had innocently been bent over tying his shoelaces—received a blow to the head from the spine of the lexicon. With a resounding crack of binding on skull, he slumped to the floor. Everyone stared in shock as Zexion withdrew the book and began wiping the leather cover off with a monogrammed silk handkerchief.
"—Me," Zexion finished.
Kairi continued to stare in shock.
Zexion walked over to the bookcase and carefully filed the lexion in its proper place on the shelf. Apparently it was volume six of a set.
"Why the hell did you do that?" she finally managed to ask.
"Oh he'll be quite alright," Zexion said. "In an hour or so Demyx will wake up and not remember anything. It does him no harm."
"You cracked him over the head with a massive book!" she cried. "That's not okay!"
"Okay is such a relative term," he said. He was feeling along the front of one of the shelves. It was the chest level shelf. "I did it because he would not appreciate the show like I would and as Sora said, Roxas only has four tickets. Besides, Demyx doesn't mind."
"That's beside the point! You shouldn't be hitting anyone over the head with a book," Kairi snapped. "And what exactly are you doing?"
"Getting out my sonic screwdriver," he said, pushing the edge of the shelf in.
With a small popping noise, the front of the shelf popped out several inches, revealing a secret compartment. Within the compartment Kairi could see several screwdrivers lined up end to end on velvet padding.
"You have a secret compartment for sonic screwdrivers?" she asked in wonder.
"And for laser screwdrivers and sonic lipsticks, yes. Although Eleven's sonic screwdriver has yet to arrive in the mail."
"Why?"
"If I kept them in a visible location Demyx would want to play with them and if he did that, he would most certainly break them," Zexion said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Ah yes, here is Eight's sonic. While his pocket watch and coat were much more iconic for him, he did have a sonic screwdriver. Pity really that One never had one."
Kairi did not laugh at the little joke.
"Now then," Zexion said, shutting the compartment with a flick of his wrist. He pointed the screwdriver at the group and smirked. "Will you hand over the ticket or do I have to remove it from your personage manually?"
Roxas pulled the tickets out of his breast pocket and offered it to the man. Still smirking as if he knew exactly how the events would play out, Zexion slid forward, stepped over Demyx's prone form, and plucked the ticket from Roxas' outstretched fist.
"Shall we go to the theater then?" he asked, smiling.
xxx
"So he just smashed him over the head with a dictionary?" Yuffie asked.
"It was a lexicon," Kairi said, unable to stop herself from correcting her girlfriend. "And it made the most awful cracking noise."
"Do you know if Demyx is still alive?"
"Yeah, he called me this morning furious that we never came to pick him up. When I asked him if he remembered waking up on the floor and he screamed at me that it was perfectly normal to do so and to stop changing the subject. So I just apologized and left it at that."
"Did Zexy do anything else? Do you need me to come home?"
Kairi laughed into the phone. "Besides braining his boyfriend, Dr. Zexion Grey was the perfect gentlemen escorting the three of us to the musical. If we hadn't witnessed him nearly bash Demyx's brain in—how many more violent similes for 'hit' can I use in this conversation?—Roxas would invite Zexy to be our fourth for when we go out during the school year. He gets so sick going with just Olette and me. Not enough cultured male companionship I guess."
"Axel is a lot of things, but cultured isn't one of them."
"To be fair, my cousin is brilliant in many fields and interested in even more. Roxas' passions, literature and the performing arts, just aren't two of them."
"Why are they together again? For that matter, are they together again?"
"Yeah, Axel came to apologize on bended knee and he caught Roxas right after we got back from the play. So Roxas was in a great mood and took him back without even making Axel beg."
"So now answer my first question."
"The sex mostly. Then there's Reno and they love making fun of things together. Plus Axel is still full of puppy love for Roxas. Remember, he became monogamous for Roxas."
"Babe, what were we talking about before the whole Akuroku thing took over the conversation?"
"I don't remember," Kairi laughed. "…Right, Zexion walloping Demyx's bean."
"That sounds like a sex act."
"Just a violent one."
"Okay Squallykins," Yuffie snapped. Clearly she wasn't talking to Kairi, but the surfer's tone startled her anyway. "I'll be there in a moment, just let me finish talking to my girl."
"You've gotta go?" Kairi asked softly.
"Yeah," Yuffie sighed. "I mean, sure, I'll have fun when I'm out on the beach again, but I'll miss talking to you. You need to come with me before you have to go back to law school. When you're there I never see you."
"Never's a bit strong of a word, but yes, I will be going with you to the Islands in August. Lazy relaxation and all that."
"I love you. No, not you, Squallykins, although I'm very fond of you too."
"I love you too, Yuf," Kairi grinned. "Now I'm going to hang up so Leon stops freaking out. Can't wait to see you home again."
"Bye babe."
"Bye Yuf."
Kairi rubbed her eyes after she hung up. She was sick of having to do most of her conversing with Yuffie on the phone. That had to change.
'Otherwise I'm going to go bonkers,' Kairi thought.
She got up to her feet. "Yunie," she called. "We're going for a walk."
Going for a walk with Yuna took almost no preparation. All Kairi needed to grab were her shoes, a bag in case Yuna needed to use the great outdoors as a commode, and Yuna's leash. Adding Yuffie to the mix tended to triple the prep time for getting out the door, but Kairi could never tell if that was her fault or Yuffie's.
While Twilight Town boasted of many large and glorious parks, the one across the street from Kairi's apartment was a middling sized one. There were a few sporadically placed trees, a baseball field that doubled as a soccer field, and a set of children's climbing equipment. Not one of those gracious primary colored plastic monstrosities cities were so keen on putting into parks, but an old school wooden and metal one, with a metal slide painted red, monkey bars, and a climbing gym shaped like a buckyball. There were also three swings that Kairi liked to use with Yuffie in the evenings after the small children had gone home for the night.
Since there were children on the equipment and in the field, Kairi decided to take Yuna for a stroll around the perimeter of the park. A simple walk, with ample stops for Yuna to sniff at trees and signs. Yuna circled one tree near the baseball diamond in hopes of finding French fries under it like they did the first time they visited the park. Since then, the bird was ever hopeful that she would find more treats under the tree Yuffie had dubbed the "French Fry Tree."
"Can I pet your bird?" a little girl in a tee ball uniform asked.
Kairi knelt down next to Yuna and stroked her crown feathers. "Alright," she said after she was certain the chocobo was calm. "But be gentle and let her sniff you first."
The girl brushed her bangs out of her eyes then reached for Yuna. As she petted the bird's beak the ring of grass she had twined around her finger broke on the tip of the beak. The girl looked unhappy at the loss of her jewelry, but Kairi offered her one of Yuna's feathers and that brightened her face. She ran the feather through her fingers several times before sticking it through one of the built in holes in the baseball cap.
"Xion!" the coach in the corresponding team colors yelled, causing the girl to swivel her head. "Come back here!"
"Bye-bye," she said softly, waving her fingers. Kairi waved back. Then she ran back to the baseball diamond.
"You handled that rather well," a man said, causing Kairi to twist around.
"Children like chocobos," she said defensively, feeling foolish for sounding defensive. "You learn how to deal with them."
He leaned back on the park bench hold his hands up in a surrender pose. "I mean no disrespect, miss," he said in his British accent.
It was at that moment Kairi's jaw dropped. She recognized that silly greased back blonde hair and goatee. While he was dressed differently, jeans and a blue turtleneck instead of a Victorian gentlemen's suit, he was still the same man she saw singing and dancing last night.
"You're the Master!" she yelped, blanking on his actual name.
"While I will answer to that name, especially when uttered by a pretty girl like you, most people tend to call me Luxord," he said smirking. "I take it you have seen my show."
"Last night," Kairi said, blushing. "I'm so sorry, of course you aren't really the Master, but you were so good at it and when I saw you here I blanked on your actual name."
"I'm so glad you liked my performance, my dear," Luxord said, kissing Kairi's hand.
"Your first musical number had to be my favorite part of the entire show," she said, sitting down next to him on the bench.
"Even better then the dancing Daleks?"
"Surprisingly, yes. It was very reminiscent of the Simms Master's dance number in Last of the Time Lords."
"You flatter me. The similarity makes sense because we added 'I Can't Decide' after seeing John Simms' performance. That was my choice after I accepted the role of the Master. Now it's always a crowd favorite."
Kairi couldn't help but laugh. "I can't believe I ran into you in my favorite park."
"Fate brought us together again just so we could talk. I feel rather ashamed I didn't notice you in the theater last night."
"Well Sora, one of my companions, garnered most of the attention last night when he fell into the orchestra pit."
Luxord laughed when he heard that. "I remember that. I remember that moment and nearly started laughing. Is Sora your boyfriend?"
"No, he's married to someone who wasn't there," Kairi said smiling as she thought about her best friend.
Another thought crossed her mind when she realized the situation. She was sitting next to an actor she had just been gushing and blushing over on a park bench. He had his arm along the back of the bench behind her and was leaning in a bit, but not close enough to be creepy. Luxord had also kissed her hand and had indirectly asked her about her relationship status.
'By Ifrit, he's hitting on me,' she almost laughed.
It had been a while since a man had last hit on her. Too much time at Tifa's—where everyone knew about Yuffie—and the local gay hot spots. Still, Kairi was pretty certain she remembered how to diffuse the situation.
"But Sora wouldn't have even been there to fall in the pit if my girlfriend hadn't had work. She was really bummed she missed your duel with Paul McGann," Kairi continued. A little white lie never hurt anything, especially since she knew Yuffie really would have regretted missing the duel if she had known about it. The part where Luxord swung down to the stage from a balcony via chandelier was amazing.
"That was the best part of practice," Luxord agreed, stroking his beard. "I perfected my Tarzan yell because of it. Nearly brought Paul to tears because I just wouldn't shut up."
Kairi had to laugh.
"So what sort of work forced your girlfriend to miss my magnificent performance?"
"She's a pro surfer."
"A lesbian pro surfer…" Luxord pondered, fiddling with one of his piercings. "I bet there aren't too many of those. Though it is surprising just how many gay athletes there are."
"Half of the blitzball players out there are gay."
"I believe the Coliseum's current line up is completely gay. It's also the strongest team they've had in years. I believe they'll take the cup for the third time in a row."
"Mmm hmm," Kairi nodded.
"Well, it's a shame you're taken and gay," Luxord said. "You are gay and not simply bi, aren't you?"
"Definitely gay and in love," she said.
"Just a shame really," he sighed, shaking his head. "You have the best set of legs I have seen in ages. I wish I could take you out for a drink."
"You still could," Kairi said thoughtfully. "Are you by any chance a breast man?"
"Why yes I am."
"Then I know the bar for you," she said, snapping her fingers. "A good friend of mine runs a great bar and I know she would love to spend the night flirting with you."
"Then shall we?" Luxord asked. He stood and offered her his hand. "Do you need to drop your bird off somewhere?"
She shook her head. "Tifa has a room Yunie can stay in."
"Then let us depart at once."
So arm in arm, Kairi and Luxord skipped off to the pub for a nightcap, even if it was still the middle of the afternoon. They were probably going to spend all evening there and she had a feeling Luxord was going to get rip roaring drunk. If nothing else, Kairi couldn't wait to tell Yuffie about her experience with the Master.
Sorry there wasn't a scene with the actual musical in it. It's just I'm a writer (perhaps even an author someday, gasp), but not a playwright. No matter how hard I'd try, the musical would not be as epic as I imagine it. So if anyone wants to try, go for it. Next time will be our more regularly scheduled broadcasting. So please leave me a review and tell me what you think. Thanks for reading!