Getting near the end here, folks. It's gonna be a long and bumpy ride...
Iris - March 10th - Eleven Days
It's funny that we're early, you know? I was really expecting that we'd barely be able to make the deadline, but luckily most of our lives have gone according to some crazy plan we semi-invented as we walked.
Except for the part where we almost got stuck in the Garden forever. Liz and Hallie say that they could have died from oogies while we were in the Garden... I'm not sure I believe them, though it's not really like I remember much.
So I hope we weren't too gross.
These last few days have been extremely long. Slightly boring. And very frustrating. We're trying to come up with a plan to defeat Ralin, but we're all so tired and such that we get mad at each other for the smallest things. But then we all realize that we were pretty stupid to be mad so we make up and the whole thing starts all over again.
Oh joy. Fun times, right?
We decided to get a little closer to Isengard today because, why not? We didn't have anything else on our agenda, except the usual:
1. Don't die.
2. Stay away from the elves who are trying to capture you because you stole their most precious magical artifact to bargain away to a weirdo for your lives.
3. Try not to fulfill any prophecies that might bring Middle Earth to its end.
4. Try not to piss anyone (or anything) off who might try to kill you.
5. Don't do anything for Gandalf.
6. Stay away from Hallie's boyfriend's uncles who are trying to capture you and take you back to said boyfriend's father who might just hug you to death, lecture your ear off, and then kill you again.
So we hopped on our Lothlorien horses and began our scenic tour of Middle Earth via gelding. We passed some very nice looking trees, some grass, some more trees, a pond, and... guess what... more trees! This has definitely been the most exciting day of my life.
You know, up until we got attacked by a random pack of orcs. Then it definitely wasn't exciting.
They came at us from all sides because evidently they'd seen us before we'd seen them. Luckily, we had the advantage of the height from the horses, but I was pretty sure that wouldn't help us for long. Hallie and Aranor drew their swords and Eddy and Haldir notched arrows, leaving Liz with her daggers and me... to sit there. I really wanted to conjure up a ball of fire, but I was so tired I was pretty sure I'd faint dead away and then where would we be?
The orcs attacked quickly. There were about twenty of them, travelling in a pack. Aranor and Hallie chopped at a few with their swords, and then one of the orcs clapped at their horse, who raised on its hind legs, knocking Hallie to the ground, and took off with Aranor.
Well, bye then, Prince of Gondor!
Eddy and Haldir let their arrows fly, piercing two of the orcs. I was trying to decide what to do with myself when I was suddenly dragged off the horse by a particularly slimy orc. I fell to the ground with a thud and was immediately surrounded by orcs. Eddy tried to help me but an orc slapped his horse on the rump and suddenly Eddy was as gone as Aranor.
And... this is why women always have to take matters into their own hands.
I wasn't sure where everyone else had gone, and at that moment, I didn't care. I summoned the last of my strength and called upon the air to create a tornado, a powerful force that would tear our enemy to shreds. But all I got was a dustdevil.
But as they say, when life gives you lemons...
While the orcs were picking leaves and dust out of their hair and eyes, I was running. As fast as I possibly could (which wasn't very fast... you could almost call it hobbling). So anyway, I hobbled over near Hallie and Liz, who were struggling against the pack of orcs. Hallie had managed to kill a few, but she certainly wasn't a powerhouse of slashing, like normal. She looked tired. Heck, we all did. Where's some foundation when you need it?
Liz was trying her best to kill some orcs with her shades, but the best she could manage were some creepy looking demon-shades that tried to scare the orcs away. Needless to say, we weren't doing a very good job in this battle.
Suddenly, I was stabbed from behind. The cold of the dagger slid through my belly and I found myself staring at blades of grass. Orc blood splattered across my face and still I laid there. The pain... well, it throbbed for a few seconds and then all I could feel was nothing. I couldn't hear anything, even though I knew the battle was still raging. I couldn't smell (which I was thankful for), couldn't feel the wind on my skin.
I was wondering if this is what death felt like when I was scooped up by a pair of arms. Slimy arms. I stared into the face of an orc. Oh great. Just what I need. To be captured by an orc. Eleven days before my deadline. What wonderful timing.
My friend Orcy the orcish orc and I walked for a little bit and then suddenly his head disappeared. I fell to the ground, Orcy's slimy and bloody body sprawled on top of me. His head wasn't far from my face, his still-twitching eyeballs staring into the depths of my soul. I would have screamed then, if I could have. But I didn't. Instead I watched the blood flow in rivers in the grass until the sun was moving low in the sky and finally someone found me.
"Get this off of her!" I heard someone shout. Orcy left me, and I felt the cold of the air again, and I really wished that Orcy's body heat could have stayed with me a few moment's longer. I felt someone else pick me up and I squirmed. No more orcs for me, please.
But it wasn't an orc. It was Eddy. And it was like I was staring into the face of an angel. Not because I was feeling particularly loving right then, but because a bright light had appeared behind his head and was calling me, beckoning ever closer. It was warm and happy and all I wanted was to go be with that light.
But then they shoved me in a poorly pitched tent and the light disappeared, slowly, as my wound was bandaged. My head lolled to one side and I saw Liz, wrapping a maroon-colored cloth around her leg... or maybe unwrapping it. Eddy had a black eye and something wrapped around his head. Aranor had a few wounds on his arms. Hallie looked dead tired but otherwise okay (oh, yay invulnerability), and Haldir looked as gorgeously elvish as ever.
Something pressed against my wound and pain shot up my spine, causing that stupidly blinding light to return. I tensed and then relaxed, giving in to the ever-constant pulling of the light.
Eddy - March 13th - Eight Days
My girlfriend is dying. It's a preventable death, and I could have done something... anything to be where she is now. I would have done that for her. But I couldn't.
After the orc slapped my horse, we took off running. It took me almost five minutes just to get my horse turned around, and getting the thing to go back into battle was a huge pain.
As I rode back, I searched for Iris. I couldn't see her anywhere- nor Hallie, Liz, and Haldir, for that matter- so I decided I'd just have to kill orcs until I found them. And I just hoped they'd be alive.
I shot as many arrows as possible into the fray. Eventually I had to ditch my horse and ran through the crowd of slimy creatures, spearing them in the eyes and then reusing those same arrows to kill another across the battlefield. Around this time, Aranor managed to get back to the battlefield. He and I were a powerhouse for a little bit until I took a club to the head. I fell over. And then I got back up because there was no way I was going to stay on the ground while Iris could be dying somewhere.
So I ended up in a hand-to-hand duel with a few orcs, resulting in my black eye. Two were knocked out on the ground and I had managed to steal a dagger from a third.
I killed him, and his friends, with his own dagger. Stabbed them through the heart, and then again through the brain just to make sure they'd never walk again. When I had finished this, the battlefield was eerily quiet, and I looked around to see that the rest of the orcs were dead.
"Hallie!" Aranor shouted. I stood up and walked over to where I could see Haldir crouching over Hallie and Liz. Liz was clutching her leg, which was literally spouting blood, and Hallie was lying next to her, bruiseless but dead tired, muttering to Liz to keep the pressure on the wound.
We all crowded around them. Hallie sat up, leaning against Aranor. She frowned when she noticed some of the cuts on his arms. "You need to get those treated..."
"I'm fine. How about you?"
"Just tired." Hallie paused. "Where's Iris?"
Everyone looked at me. And I didn't know. I couldn't have known, but I should have thought of it, I should have been looking for her. Screaming, I leapt up and ran through the stinking mass of mangled corpses, looking for any sign of her. A piece of her dress. A book, a ribbon, something.
I wandered around for a while and then I saw a headless corpse about 30 feet away from the graveyard. I stumbled over to it and saw her face, eyes open, staring out at the blood that was flowing like rivers into the valley. I wasn't sure if she was breathing.
"I found her! Guys! Help! We have to get this off of her!"
Haldir and Aranor stumbled over to me and we lifted the headless corpse off Iris. Bending down and ignoring the cramping in my ribs and back, I lifted her up, fearing the worst. But she squirmed in my arms and looked into my eyes.
She was alive.
I looked up from my journal at the sleeping figure beside me. Iris had been asleep three days. The rest of weren't faring much better. I'd been having migraines all throughout the day. Haldir had to walk for two miles through the forest to find some kingsfoil to put in our wounds so they wouldn't get infected. Liz' leg is better, but occasionally I can see it pain her and then she just stares off into the distance as if she's remembering something. Aranor's cuts almost did get infected, but luckily Hallie dragged him to a stream so he didn't die, or lose both his arms or something.
Great first date, guys. Although, my first date with Iris was in Moria, so I guess I shouldn't be talking. I could have done something to save her, I could have...
Sitting in here isn't going to make my life any better. Painfully, I stood up and walked outside only to be blinded by the sunlight. I felt like a vampire. Yikes. The rest of my friends were sitting/laying in the grass, all in various states of pain. Even Haldir was injured.
"Hey, guys." I mumbled, flopping to the ground beside said elf.
"How's Iris?" Liz asked.
"Still sleeping."
"Maybe you should go all Prince Philip on her and kiss her awake." Hallie said.
"Not everything can be solved by true love's kiss, Hallie," Liz grumbled.
"Kill me for trying to lighten the mood."
"Oh, just shut up, will you?" I growled. "This sucks. Iris is dying, and I could have done something about it. But do you know why she's dying? It's because of you. If you hadn't convinced us to take one little peek at that boat in New York, none of this would have happened. We wouldn't be dying, cursed, or the members of some old prophecy. I don't even care if we never met our favorite characters. We'd be safe, and happy, and that's all that matters."
"This is an adventure, Eddy!" Hallie shouted. "Adventures come with pain and death. You always talked about wanting an adventure, but if you only want the glory at the end, become an Apple store genius or something! Life isn't just honeycakes and butterflies. You need the suffering because it makes you stronger."
"What if I didn't want to be stronger?"
"Well, then sucks for you because you did get on that boat and you did come here. Even if you hadn't, something like this would have happened to you in life. And what would you do then? Throw a pity party? Say, poor me, nothing ever goes right in my life? Iris would be ashamed of you."
I stood up suddenly. "Don't you bring her into this," I growled, stomping over to where she sat. Aranor stood up too, to face me.
"Eddy, back off," he said protectively. I glared at him, and Hallie stood up too.
"If you're going to hit me, Eddy, do it." said Hallie, challenging me. "Do it and show me how strong you are."
"Why I oughtta-"
"Guys?" It was her. Her voice. I turned around to face her. Iris. Back from the grave, like Lazarus. Clutching her stomach, weak with pain. But she was alive. And awake.
"Iris!" Liz shouted, running over to her. "We need to get you back inside." She stared at Haldir. "Do you have anything for pain?"
He grimaced. "I don't, actually."
"It's okay," Iris whispered. "I have some dried herbs in my pack. I was saving them for a special occasion. Looks like this might be the time."
Liz nodded and guided her back into the tent. I tried to follow her, but she stopped me. "Oh no you don't," she said. "Not until you calm down." Liz glared at Hallie, too. "Not until you both calm down."
The tent flap closed. I wandered back over into the grass and sat down. It was silent for a few minutes. "Ugh. Sorry, guys. I'm stressed."
Aranor snorted.
"I mean, we're all stressed and we're all going through the same crap. I don't really blame you guys for this, it's fun and all, but no one really wants the depressing parts of the adventure, I guess. So... sorry." I grimaced. Worst apology ever.
"I suppose I'm sorry, too, for snapping at you," Hallie replied.
"Apologies accepted," Haldir said, smiling. He glanced at me. "Go see Iris. I'll fend off Liz if I have to. Tell her you guys made up and are all happy-doodle now."
Hallie high-fived him. I facepalmed. "You gotta stop teaching him slang."
"You started it."
"Just wait until I start teaching Aranor slang. He's gonna walk around and be all, 'Hey, homie!'" I laughed, walking kind of funny and sporting what I'm sure was a gang sign somewhere.
"That... is a scary thought," Aranor replied, looking kind of weirded out.
I smiled and walked gangster style over to Iris' tent, earning a good chuckle from the group behind me. Ducking in, I walked over to Iris, thanking God that she was alright. Weak, sure, stabbed through the stomach, but still alive. And that was all that mattered.
Iris was chewing some leaves. She swallowed and looked up at me. "Hey," she said, her voice soft from pain.
"Hey," I replied. "How are you feeling?"
"Better, but I'd be back to normal if I had my powers," she muttered.
"Yeah," I mumbled, still frustrated that she was feeling pain. "You want to rest?"
"I'd actually rather come out and talk," she smiled. "I want to know what happened while I was sleeping." I smiled at her and led her out of the tent, careful not to brush up against her wound. Haldir tended to it for the past three days and even tried his hand at a healing spell or two, so it's looking better than it normally would, but I suspect that Iris would have that scar for the rest of her life.
We walked into the sunlight, and Hallie stood up, jogging over to us. "Hey, Iris," she said, grinning, "Nice to see you back among the living."
Iris smiled. "Nice to be back."
We sat down in the patch of grass with everyone else and began to relay our stories, pausing every so often to laugh or to get some more herbs when Iris would wince from the pain.
"If I had my powers back, I would have shot every one of them," I said as I finished my version of the battle. "It would have been a lot shorter."
"It's pretty crazy what we've been able to do without them," Liz remarked. "I mean, we made it this far, and we're still going."
"I guess it just goes to show that we're more than our powers," Hallie said.
"I don't feel very useful without my powers. I can't fight like you guys can," Iris mumbled.
"But you're not a fighter, Iris. You're a healer. You know your herbs, you can stomach bad wounds, and you can save lives. That's quite a gift to have," Haldir stated quietly.
Iris smiled. "Thanks, Haldir. You always know what to say."
Haldir smiled back, just as Liz said, "That's it!"
"What?" we all said, confused.
"That's the answer to the little green dwarf's riddles!"
"Indeed, it is." We whipped around to face a small green creature. I recognized him immediately as the dwarf who'd stopped us on the bridge. Liz and Hallie mentioned seeing him in the Garden too, but I hadn't thought about him- or his riddles- since we'd left that forest.
He was standing on a rock, bright blue eyes scanning our faces as if for a lie. "I told ye that the answer was inside ye, and all ye had to do was look. Seems like ye've finally figured that out."
"But... why couldn't you just have told us we were more than our powers?" Iris asked.
"Because ye wouldn't have believed me. Ye had to find it out fer yerselves." He paused. "When I was a youngster, I tried to guide people by giving them advice. But as I got older and more used to my job, I realized that the best way to teach someone was to give them an idea of what they were looking for and let them figure it out for themselves."
"Your job? Who are you?" Hallie questioned.
"I am a guardian of this world, missy," the green dwarf said slowly. "I am a Calaith."
"I am the Wiser."