A/N: This chapter begins around the middle-end of January 1998.

Chapter 25

Several weeks passed. Each was much like the one before. The only thing that seemed to change was Tonks' ever-expanding waistline. The Order shared her frustration at inaction. As Voldemort consolidated his power in the Ministry and passed more discriminatory laws, the Order could only watch in anguish and disgust. It wasn't even safe to do much reconnaissance any longer. They could only sit by and wait for the final battle, which they hoped would come quickly.

Although Tonks had the coming baby to keep her occupied, her pregnant belly threw off her always precarious balance more than ever. Remus would barely allow her to walk from the parlor to the kitchen by herself. His near-constant closeness had its benefits, but her hormones were driving her over the edge.

Furthermore, she had nightmares. She would wake up in a cold sweat at least two or three nights a week. Remus was concerned, but she refused to tell him what she dreamed. He would comfort her and tell her that they were just figments of an imagination that didn't have enough to focus on during the day, but she knew his words could not reach the icy fear that gripped her heart.

Sometimes, she dropped the baby. Sometimes, Death Eaters, led by Auntie Bellatrix, invaded the house, and the last she saw was a flash of green light. The worst, which she would never, ever tell Remus, had the baby afflicted with lycanthropy, and she watched helplessly as the tiny body writhed and contorted into one of the most feared beasts in the Wizarding world.

She tried not to dwell on these thoughts, especially the last, when the sun shone, but she could not help revisiting them in the gray periods, as day surrendered to the night and fought to rise again the next morning. Her rational mind knew that lycanthropy was not inherited, and even if it were she would love her child no matter what, but the fleeting images of horror and pain would not let her go.

She felt calmer, though, when she watched Remus sleep. He always curled close against her and stretched his hand protectively over her stomach. And nothing could match her joy when she felt the baby move and she saw the mingled contentment and awe in her husband's eyes when he also felt it. The times were dreary and frightening, but in those moments she was whole and safe and could imagine a future without war and hardship.

One day Tonks and Remus were simply sitting together, when he asked, "Have you and your mother decided what to do about the birth, Dora?"

"Yeah, Mum 'accidentally' ran into Poppy Pomfrey the other day. She's agreed to come here and act as the midwife."

"How is she going to get out from under the noses of Snape and the Carrows?" He admired Pomfrey's Healing skills, but he didn't fancy her inadvertently leading Death Eaters to where his wife was giving birth.

" She's going to 'visit her sick mother.' Mum told her that the baby's due the middle of April."

"What if the baby comes early or late?"

"She said that she was going to start laying hints now, so she could claim an emergency if I go into labor at an unexpected time." She saw his skeptical look. "Do you have a better idea? I can't very well go to St. Mungo's, and neither you nor my mother is a qualified midwife."

Remus shifted his eyes and he turned sheepish. "It does sound like the best plan under the circumstances; I'm just nervous."

Tonks rolled her eyes, but her gaze softened immediately. "I never would have guessed." He playfully nudged her shoulder with his own. "Who would have thought that calm, cool, and collected Remus Lupin would be unhinged by a little baby?" She laughed at his glare, but she sobered when his expression became serious.

He wrapped his arms around her. "A little baby is the only thing worth being unhinged over." In a rare bout of sentimentality, he added "You and our child are the most important pieces of my life. I love you."

She leaned into him more. "I love you, too. Our lives our going to change a lot, aren't they?"

"I'm sure they will, but it's supposed to work like that." She nodded and kissed him. They lapsed into silence as they contemplated the momentous event that would occur in less than three months.

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Time seemed to slow as they waited for some break in the monotony and anticipation of being forced underground. That winter had some of the worst weather that Tonks could remember. It was constantly cold and damp, but it rarely rained or snowed. The Order was basically useless, but at least none of its members had been captured or killed. They did the best they could in encouraging quiet resistance and the protection of Muggles and muggle-borns.

One afternoon in February Tonks sat on the settee, swinging her legs in time to an inner rhythm. "Honestly, Nymphadora, I love you, but what have I told you about fidgeting? You're a married woman, and soon you will be a mother; you need to learn to be calm."

"I think the baby likes it. He calms down when I move a little."

"He? I thought you didn't want to know what gender the baby is."

"Well, I don't know for certain. It's just a feeling." She looked down, considering her stomach. "Ow! He's strong. He doesn't need to kick so hard."

Andromeda smiled. "He can't be kicking any harder than you did. Karma will always come back to haunt you."

Tonks chuckled, but she felt the need for reassurance. "What if I'm not a good mother, Mum? I never thought I had a maternal bone in my body. I won't know what to say to him. I could…I could drop him."

Andromeda sat down next to her. "I'm sorry that I've been nagging you, Nymphadora, but I never meant to imply that you wouldn't be a good mother. In fact, I think you'll be an excellent mother." Tonks looked at her mother doubtfully. "I mean it. No one feels ready to be a parent. Now, I know you're clumsy, but I also know that you will find your baby to precious to drop. You'll be careful. And you won't have to worry about saying anything meaningful to him for at least a year or two. Babies just like to be cooed at. Besides, you'll have Remus to help you."

Tonks felt better; all her insecurities weren't immediately laid to rest, but she felt able to face the coming challenges with an optimistic outlook. She grinned broadly. "You've really come to like Remus, haven't you?"

Andromeda nodded. "Yes. He's helped me very much since your father…left. I realize that my earlier judgments of him were wrong and were simply born of deep-seated prejudices. I don't think you could find a better husband or father, besides yours of course." Mother and daughter hugged, taking comfort and hope from each other.

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The rest of February was spent turning part of Tonks' old room into a nursery. Remus and her mother put a fresh coat of paint in a pale green shade (because it would work for either a boy or a girl) on the walls. Despite her protests, they wouldn't let Tonks help. Remus also refinished Tonks' old bassinet that Andromeda had kept for just such an occasion. They could not have a shower, but Molly knitted some baby clothes.

Tonks didn't know what she would have done if she were not expecting a child. She knew she might be of more use to the Order, and she still felt a little guilty about her pregnancy coming at such an inconvenient time. But, as Dumbledore had always said, it did not do to dwell. Besides, she would not change the miracle that she had been given for anything.

Thankfully, the nightmares let up as she grew more confident in her ability to handle motherhood. She still saw the occasional flashes of green light or images of an infant's twisting body, but she was able to recognize them as harmless imaginings, not dire predictions.

She and Remus began to count the days. They did not think anything short of a victory for the other side could destroy the happiness that they had carefully built for themselves.

A/N: I've been terribly remiss in giving out review bribes. Therefore, I offer anyone who leaves a comment a Remus (or a Tonks) to look after you 24 hours a day.