"I will shove this sandwich in your face." Penny threatened, shooting Leonard a glare.
"Okay, fine, we're not getting married at the Supercollider! I was just joking!" Leonard quickly scribbled out Supercollider on their (well, mostly his) list of possible wedding venues. "I was only joking. Promise."
"We do not joke about wedding venues." Penny punched his arm before biting into her sandwich.
"Ouch! That's going to bruise!" Leonard scowled, rubbing his arm. "Alright fine, no joking about wedding venues. Maybe we should decide on which, you know, country and State and whatever we want to get married in first to narrow down options." He suggested.
"Mm'kay." Penny said through a final mouthful of sandwich.
"I'd say the best options are California or Nebraska."
Munching furiously, Penny managed to swallow enough of her sandwich to ask a food-muffled "not New Jersey?"
"Hell no. Not New Jersey."
"'Kay, not New Jersey." Penny nodded. She finished her sandwich while Leonard tapped his pen repeatedly on the notepad, before she rolled over to lie on her back. "We're okay weather-wise in either place. I mean, obviously it'll be hotter here but it's usually still quite warm in Omaha in September."
Without even looking, Leonard took the hot water bottle Penny had been lying on and placed it over her stomach. "It could be a bit too hot here though. I don't wanna be sweating through my tux."
"It's the twenty-first century, you forget that air conditioning exists that isn't controlled by Sheldon."
"True." Leonard nodded. "What about rain?"
"More likely to rain in Nebraska." Penny twisted her lips. "I think I'd rather get married here. We met here, we live here; our life is here. We're a 'we' in California, you know? It just makes more sense."
Turning slightly and folding his legs beneath him, Leonard raised a brow at her. "Penny, are you sure?"
"Uh-huh. I just went along with the Omaha idea for a little bit to see if I'd change my mind, but I always imagined us getting married in Pasadena. Or California, at least."
"Always imagined, huh?" Leonard smirked.
"Shut up." Penny rolled her eyes. "What d'you say we don't tell anyone we've set a date until we actually send out the invitations?"
"Why?"
"It would be fun to surprise them. We don't have to, it just seems like fun for it to come out of the blue."
"Okay... a wedding surprise is kinda fun I guess." Leonard agreed with a small smile. "What do we tell people if they ask?"
"I dunno, just say we're still thinking about it. Now get off the bed."
"Umm, why?"
"I want coffee but I don't wanna get up and make it myself."
"Holy crap on a cracker."
"What?" Leonard glanced up from his laptop only to see Penny's wide-eyed stare at her own laptop screen. "Are you okay?"
"Look at this." Penny said, her hands shaking as she turned her laptop around so Leonard could see the screen.
Leaning in, Leonard scanned the page she had open on her laptop. "Oh my God - oh my God - one hundred percent? That is amazing!"
"I'm seriously seeing, that, right? That's what it says? I'm not imagining it?"
"Yes - it says it right there - full marks, one hundred percent!" Leonard said excitedly, double-checking the page.
"Oh my God." Penny simply blinked at him in disbelief. "Oh my God. That was the essay on - I can't believe - I've never gotten anywhere near - oh my God!" Suddenly she jumped up as her grade sank in, and the shock transformed into full-blown excitement. Running over to Leonard, he managed to stand up just before she launched herself into an embrace. "I actually got that grade! Me! I got full marks on a paper! An essay that I wrote! I can't believe it! Can you believe it?"
"I can absolutely believe it."
"Leonard. Leonard, wake up."
"Mmh." Leonard groaned into his pillow, half-asleep and only half paying attention to the unwelcome wake-up call.
"Leonard!" Penny scowled, nudging him sharply with her elbow. "Wake up!"
Suddenly it clicked in his mind that the voice was Penny's and he shot up, instantly wide awake and alert. "What, what's wrong? Are you okay? Are-"
"Leonard, I'm fine-"
"Are you sure? Is everything alright?"
"Yes, I just-" Penny put a hand up to silence Leonard's following line of thought. "Leonard, I promise you, I'm fine."
"Then why did you just wake me up?" Leonard rubbed his eyes and yawned, feeling himself edging towards tiredness once more now that the panic was over.
"Beca-ause," Penny whined, hoping she wouldn't need to elaborate. Apparently she did - after a few seconds, Leonard still looked as confused as ever and seemed to be drifting back to sleep even his seated position. Sighing, Penny semi-rolled to straddle him and pushed on his chest so he was lying back down before kissing him deeply. "This is why." She smirked, moving her lips to his jaw.
"Couldn't this have waited until... I dunno, a more sane hour of the day?"
"Seriously?" Penny sat up, using his chest for leverage. "Are you seriously complaining about this?"
"Umm, I wouldn't say complaining - I'm just... confused and... yeah, mostly confused. And tired - very tired."
"Poor baby, playing Call of Duty until after midnight has really worn you out." Penny rolled her eyes.
"You keep beating me! I need to practice!"
"Look, are we having sex or not?"
"Well I'm not saying no. I was just curious."
"Be curious on your own watch." Penny scowled, before leaning back down to kiss him again.
"So, uh, you wanna explain what all that was about?" Leonard asked as he put his inhaler away.
"It's... okay, promise you won't like, laugh or make fun of me or whatever."
"Okay, I promise."
Taking a deep breath, Penny rolled onto her back. "I couldn't sleep so I was thinking about... about how I really want a baby. Like, every few weeks the thought crosses my mind and then I just can't stop thinking about it. I really, really want a baby. In a way that I never thought I would because they're messy and time-consuming and will totally go left thanks to you. So then I was thinking about sex and all these scenarios were playing out in my head and I thought doing it on my own was pretty redundant considering you were right next to me but I figured it could wait. Don't laugh!" Penny reached a hand out to slap Leonard's arm when he started giggling. "So I tried to distract myself and I decided that next year I'm gonna go back to just doing a few classes - so instead of completing the rest of my course in one year, I'll do the rest of it over two years. That way once we're married we can... you know, have a baby. Go on our honeymoon, drink champagne, come home and at some point hopefully... things work out. Then I was like hey, I should really talk to Leonard about this but I thought that could wait until the morning along with sex. But I was wrong because then I started thinking about sex again so I woke you up. Really there was no other option."
"Penny, have you ever noticed that sometimes you talk a lot?"
"Seriously? That's all you have to say?"
"It's all a lot to process in one go. Especially after sex."
"Alright, then take your time to process it." Penny shrugged, stretched her arms out over her head and yawning. "I'm all good now, my turn to sleep."
"Wait, you can't fall asleep on me after saying all of that!"
"I think you'll find I can." Penny smiled before rolling onto her side and shutting her eyes. Admittedly, it was still terrifying opening up to him like that; even though it was easier these days to tell him things, she still felt that slight trickle of fear and vulnerability afterwards.
He was silent for a moment, knowing that she wouldn't really fall asleep until he'd given her a proper response. And not just a quick one so she'd go to sleep, but an honest one - even if it meant they were silent for a long while. Eventually he'd managed to think through it all and get his breathing back to normal and he lay down on his side, pressing her back into his chest. He draped an arm over her hip to find her hand and intertwine their fingers. "I think you've put a lot of thought into that and it's... we both want a baby. So it makes sense to have a plan - to know we have that time and that stability of knowing we're in the right place to do that."
Penny moved her free hand to rub her eyes and sniffled loudly; Leonard had no idea she was crying until then. "Surprises just haven't worked out so well for us in the past. Especially when it comes to work and... and babies. I want to be prepared this time." She whispered.
"Your wedding invites are so adorable!" Amy squealed, bounding into Penny's apartment the moment she had opened the door.
"Uh... come in." Penny raised her brows, stepping aside to let Bernadette in too. "I'm guessing you got the invites then?" She asked, making her way down the hallway and continuing through the house.
"Yeah, they're-" Amy stopped mid-sentence when Penny did not stop in the kitchen or living area, but continued through to the hallway leading to the bedrooms. "Where are you going?"
"I'm shaving my legs!" Penny stopped, turning and lifting a leg slightly to bring attention to the white foam covering one leg.
"Shall we bring a bottle of wine to the bathroom?" Bernadette asked, already grabbing a bottle from the kitchen.
"Yes! The Sauvignon Blanc is in the fridge!"
"This is such an exciting day!" Amy followed Penny, half-skipping and half-running.
"I know, it's been a while since I shaved my legs!" Penny agreed with a grin, seating herself on the edge of the tub and swinging her legs into the bath.
"Not that - the wedding invites!"
"Oh, yes, those are exciting too."
"This is such a weird place to congregate." Bernadette said as she joined them in the bathroom, closing the toilet lid with her foot before sitting on it so she could put the three glasses between her fingers in the other hand down on the floor and open the bottle of wine.
"Just a small glass for me." Penny reminded her friend before picking up the razor and getting back to work.
"I know." Bernadette nodded. "So-"
"Who're you gonna have as Maid of Honor?" Amy asked quickly.
"Umm..." Penny bit her lip. "I'm not sure yet."
Pursing her lips, Amy stepped toward Penny and bent down slightly to speak quietly in her ear. "You should pick me, bestie."
"Amy I love you but I have nothing on beneath my robe and my leg is up in the air so please do not stand that close to me."
"Sorry, sorry." Amy jumped back.
"What made you pick that date?" Bernadette asked as she handed Amy two glasses, gesturing that she pass one to Penny.
"That's the date I moved into 4B and met Leonard." Penny said, taking the glass in her free hand. She took a small sip before setting it down beside her and returning her attention to her legs.
"You remember the date you moved into your old apartment?" Bernadette raised a brow.
"Well, yeah." Penny shrugged her free shoulder. "Don't you?"
"No." Amy and Bernadette replied in unison.
"Oh. It was a weird day, I remember meeting the guys but I was so confused about Kurt and Leonard let me use his shower... so much changed that day. Took me so long to realize that change was for the better." Penny shook her head, smiling to herself. "But eventually I understood."
"That's cute."
"It's not cute, it's just... a significant day. That's all."
Amy shrugged at Bernadette and took a sip of wine. "So what's with the leg shaving?"
"Leonard and I are going to this restaurant by the beach tonight." Penny grinned excitedly, putting the razor down and switching on the tap. "I was thinking after dinner we take a little dip in the ocean... besides, the dress I'm planning on wearing shows off a lot of leg, so..."
"That sounds romantic." Amy gushed.
"Romantic and Penny can't keep it in her pants." Bernadette giggled.
Leaning to get her towel, Penny nodded slowly. "This is true. You laugh but it's actually a lot of fun... Leonard getting all adventurous and I feel so-o good all the time, I'm the real winner here."
"Sheldon and I have a schedule." Amy stated. "That's the only time he doesn't keep it in his pants."
"Eww." Bernadette shuffled away from Amy slightly.
Scrunching up her face, Penny turned to look at Amy. "That's... gross."
"I thought it was funny." Amy shrugged.
"I don't know what's worse, hearing about Howard or hearing about... Sheldon." Penny shuddered before standing back up to finish drying her legs.
"You were just telling us about Leonard, I wanted to join in!"
"Technically she was telling us about herself, nothing about what comes out of Leonard's pants and when." Bernadette frowned before taking a long gulp of wine.
"Ew, when you put it like that even that is gross." Penny groaned. "Do you guys wanna order pizza for lunch?"
"Finally, I am starving." Amy nodded quickly, following Penny to the bedroom.
"But nothing with sausages." Bernadette said.
"Nothing with sausages." Amy and Penny agreed together.
"What's this?" Leonard asked, inspecting a chart on the fridge as he went to get a bottle of water.
"Oh, that's mine and Amy's coitus schedule." Sheldon explained with a smile.
"O-kay, that's... gross." Leonard frowned, recoiling slightly before cautiously re-approaching the fridge for his water.
"Oh, so it's fine for me to overhear you and Penny having coitus but I can't have a schedule on my own fridge?" Sheldon asked, sitting down in his spot.
Leonard exhaled deeply, rubbing the bridge of his nose as he returned to the armchair. "Yeah, in your defence I got used to your weird and gross schedules, charts and... everything else when I lived here, that really shouldn't have come as a surprise."
"I'm not a big fan of surprises, Leonard. I like to know what's happening and when."
"Yes, I remember."
"So what am I doing in your wedding? I need to start preparing." Sheldon picked up the invite from the coffee table.
"What? Oh." Leonard shrugged, leaning back in the armchair. "We haven't really started planning anything yet, we just set the date and picked a venue. We've got plenty of time."
"You think you have plenty of time, but soon enough you'll both be begging me to organize everything because you've left it too late!"
"Koothrappali has already been asking if he can do the party planning side." Leonard said, amused. Their friends were much more keen to get involved with the process than he had expected them to be. "I think we might get a wedding planner to help us out though. Penny has a lot of ideas now that we have a venue, and so do I."
"Well if Penny has ideas then I don't want to be part of it anyway. She probably wants to go down the aisle sitting atop a unicorn eating an ear of corn."
"She doesn't want to go down the aisle sitting atop a unicorn eating an ear of corn." Leonard rolled his eyes, before frowning. "I hope."
"Be careful what you're marrying into, Leonard." Sheldon advised. "That unicorn could buck her off and pierce you through the stomach with its horn before galloping around and trampling everybody there."
"Uh... what?"
"I had a dream that happened once, but I was the one on the unicorn and Amy was at the end of the video game aisle in the store. A brand new PlayStation 5000 is not worth it when it's got a unicorn horn through it. It's not pleasant." Sheldon shook his head sternly as he picked up the remote control. "Let's get this movie started!"