Chapter Twenty-Four: Heart to Heart

When I woke up my head was pounding worse than I'd ever felt before. For a long time I just lay there in my bunk, burying my face in my pillow, willing the rest of the world to disappear. That's when I realized the pounding wasn't just inside my skull. It was at the door to my quarters, too.

"Natalie! You up yet?"

I mumbled some sort of muffled groan in reply, but I wasn't sure if Travis heard it or not.

"Well, hope you're decent, sis. I'm coming in."

Buried under a pile of covers, I knew I didn't have anything to worry about. I heard the sound of my little brother's combat boots on the floor, and then the door closing behind him. After that he walked up to my bedside and poked at my head.

"Go away, Trav," I muttered. "I mean it. And please, for the love of God, don't touch my head right now."

My brother chuckled. "So you're actually alive in there?"

"Yes. Unfortunately."

"Good." He poked at me again. "Sit up, Nat. I brought over some stuff for you that might help. And I hope this teaches you to think before you go on a bender behind enemy lines next time."

"It's not like I planned it that way."

"I know. That worries me even more."

Finally I rolled over in my bunk to face him. Or more like blink up at him through still half-closed eyes. "Travis, I'm thirty. Almost thirty-one in a few more weeks. I can take care of myself, thanks."

He snorted good-naturedly. "Yeah. Tell that to your hangover."

I pushed the heel of my hand to my throbbing forehead. "God, you sound like Mark sometimes. How do you do that?"

"Maybe I hung out with him a little too much after the War."

"Could've invited me."

"Not really. You got pregnant soon after everything was done and then you had two newborn twins and a toddler to look after."

This time, I was the one who snorted as I sat up, running a hand through the length of my hair now that it was down. "You're forgetting I was XO for my new battalion, too."

Travis grinned. "You're not happy unless you're doing twelve things at once, are you, sis?"

"Nope. I was born to multitask. Now where's those goodies you promised me?"

My younger brother reached into his fatigue jacket pocket and produced two small pills. "Aspirin. For the headache." Then he leaned across the bed with his other hand and held up a cup of steaming coffee under my nose. "And coffee, to wake you up and...for the headache."

It was the first time this morning that the beginnings of a smile formed on my face. "Thanks, little bro. You're a lifesaver." Remembering my other meds, I gestured vaguely towards my pack and added, "Want to get me my other bottles? They're in the side pocket, on the right."

"Sure."

I waited for a moment while Travis rummaged, looking down at the T-shirt I wore underneath my battledress uniform. It didn't seem to have sustained any damage from the night before, but I couldn't say the same for the rest of my clothes. I was pretty sure I'd thrown up down the front of my jacket, from what little I remembered. Good thing I had an extra one with me.

"Here you go," my brother said, handing me the aspirin and my two pill bottles.

Grateful, I quickly knocked back the mild painkillers, then downed my other two meds in succession. When I glanced back up, Travis was staring at me.

"What?" I asked.

"Just...wondering what else it is you're taking there."

"Well, one is for none of your business," I replied bluntly. "The other's for the nightmares. I had them pretty frequently during the War, but they got really bad once I came home from Africa. So after your niece and nephew were born, I got prescribed these."

Travis frowned. "Looks like you're running pretty low. Is that bad?"

I waved a dismissive hand at him, despite the fact that it was something I grew increasingly anxious about every day. "Don't worry about it. I'll figure it out."

"Okay."

He stood there in silence next to me after that, and I got the distinct feeling he was waiting for something. I took a sip of the hot coffeee he'd given me and sighed.

"I'm sorry, Trav."

"For what?"

"That you had to see me that way last night. You're my little brother, and I don't want - "

Travis butted in before I could finish. "Hey. First off, we're only three years apart, so I think now that we're adults that ship has sailed. We're both old enough to have seen this kind of stuff by now anyway. Second, I shouldn't be the one you're apologizing to. You're my sister so I don't mind helping you out when you're in a bind. I'd save it for your brother-in-law, who's still fairly young and sounded a smidge scared over the COM when he called me out to the club to come get you."

I tried to say something then, but he wouldn't let me speak till he was done.

"Third, it makes me feel better that I know what all this is about." His brown eyes met my green ones. "Willis is in a coma and you don't know how to deal. Am I right?"

"Yeah. You're right. But Travis, that's not an excuse."

"Like hell. You've been head over heels for the guy since high school. If you think me or Mark or Jenna or Allie or even Mom didn't notice back then, you're mistaken."

He said those last words gently, with a little amusement injected in his tone. Not to make light of the situation, but to make me feel a little less bad. As for the content, it was news to me that both of my brothers and both of my sisters knew about me and Willis from the start - and our mom, too. It made me wonder for the first time in a while how much they all knew about the circumstances of how we'd met. My personal nightmare with Ethan as a teenager was Willis's and my best kept secret...or so we'd always believed.

I didn't ask about it, though. Mostly because I didn't care now. It was something that had happened far in the past and not a sentiment I wanted to revisit again after so many years. If my family did know, or had known all along and had never said so, it didn't matter to me anymore.

"And besides, I'm sorry, too, Natalie," Travis said then, releasing a sigh of his own. "With the war and everything I haven't been around as much as I should to help you out with these things. I mean I know Mark's done what he can, being the oldest after Jenna died and everything, but I wanted to be there for you, too. I want to be a good brother to you, someone you can lean on when you need it." He went quiet for a moment, hesitated, and continued. "Like when you and Willis lost the baby. I know that was really hard on you, sis."

Though I could still feel the small tear in my heart over it - a rip that would never mend - I shrugged. "Nothing would've really mattered then. Hell, Willis barely helped me see through it, and it was his kid, too. I just...wasn't in the mood for anything for a long time after that. Nothing felt like it could overcome it. But then I got pregnant again with the twins and things seemed...easier. Like the load on me had lightened, that I had shot at being a parent again like we wanted. The pain never left completely, but it dulled. With Willis and Gabe and Liam and Olivia, my Marines, and with time." Then I met his gaze again. "And you are a good brother to me, Trav. Don't doubt that. The war keeping all of us apart wasn't your fault; it's not any of ours. It's what we should hate the damn Covenant for."

"I like to think we do a good job of that. I know I do, at least." He ran a hand over his shaved hair, brown like mine. "I don't want any of the bullshit we've found here on Khan going anywhere near my kid. I'm going to fight hard to keep him and Kelsey safe."

A semblance of a smile returned to my face. "See? Now you know how I was thinking during the War. Anything for Willis and Gabe. And for our future together."

My brother must've seen the undercurrent of sadness in my expression, since he reached over to squeeze my shoulder then. "He's going to pull through, Nat. Whatever the doctors have been telling you, whatever the odds might be, I know Willis will be fine." He grinned again for my benefit. "If nothing else, then just because of your willpower alone."

"Heh. I wish that were true. If all my wishful thinking really did help he would've been up days ago."

"Just trust me on this one, sis. I won't disappoint."