Chapter Twenty Four, Part Two: Escape From Silent Hill

There are many things which remain unexplained to mankind, such as… wait... What am I typing! OOPS! WRONG STORY! What I meant to say was that I don't own SK, SH, or anything and anyone mentioned in this story. Similarities of events or characters in this story to real celebrities are coincidental and are merely a figment. This IS NOT a propaganda against the USA Government or the president of the USA, George W. Bush. R&R when you're done reading… please!

Hao had already realized that he had involved himself in something that was far bigger than what he imagined. First of all, he was trapped in the twisted story of a mad writer who wished to show the entire world how stupid, weak and pathetic Hao was. And second… Anna was chasing him.

Now, some of you fellow readers will notice that the current events are irrelevant to the flow of the story witnessed in previous chapters, such as Kanna breaking through the wall and finding Hao and later appearing again lost in the corridors of Silent Hill, and Anna going after Yoh and now appearing right here, right now, with the intention to rip Hao's groins off, one of her many demonic hobbies and an activity she was an expert in. Well… I KNOW THAT! ALRIGHT!? I SCREWED UP! And now I'm gonna fix it all! Sorry for screwing up… sorry, sorry, sorry… Thank you all for being patient with me (bows down)… thank you, thank you, thank you…

The Asakura pyromaster ran against a wall for… let's see… eight-hundred and fifrty-sixth time?...and collapsed. He came by a second later to see Anna's evil figure approaching slowly in a stalking manner. She was more animalistic than the first time he had encountered her in the building.

Hao crawled up in a sitting manner, leaned against the wall, to watch with a horrified face as his demise was drawing near. Thoughts such as this raced through his head:

'No! No! No No No No No No Noooooooooo!!! I'm too young and beautiful to die!!! Well, I may be a thousand years older than any human on Earth, but I'm STILL beautiful! Or maybe I should've preferred the term 'Handsome'? What the hell, it's obviously the writer wants to make me a girl, for some reason it suits me better, lol! Did I just say 'lol'? WTF is wrong with me? OMG did I just say 'WTF'!?!?... Shit! I said 'OMG' and 'LOL'!...'

Anna was a few steps away from him. Hao's face was paler than snow.

'Why did this end up like that!? Where are all of my followers!? Am I never gonna get my revenge? Am I gonna spend the rest of eternity haunting this wretched place!?'

And just as Anna was about to raise her claws and tear his ass off, Hao made the decision to do what a lot of normal people would have done in his place a long, long time ago. After all, it was useless going against all of the clichés in the world, especially in a desperate situation such as this one.

He took a breath and screamed at the top of his lungs:

- HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SOMEBODY HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP!!!!!!!!!!

His shriek echoed through the entire building. A support beam crumbled somewhere in the distance. Even the girl stopped, now with a WTF expression on her face.

And then…
- Hao-samaaaaaaaa! – Ashil's voice came from somewhere.
- Where are youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu? – Machi called as well.

Three pairs of legs were running towards his position. Hao sighed in relief and smirked:
- I don't think you'll have the time to do anything, bitch.

Anna smirked as well. And just before she left the room, she smashed her sandal in Hao's groins, resulting in a deafening, agonizing shriek, coming from Hao's mouth. Pleased with her success to cause some pain onto her enemy, the evil girl walked out of the room, leaving Hao curled up in a ball and sobbing.

Ashil, Machi and Peyote rushed in the room a minute later.

- Hao-samaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! – Machi yelled and wrapped her arms around the Asakura, choking him.
- Machi, he can't breathe! – Ashil said and forced Hao out of the girl's grip. The pyromaster opened his mouth and breathed in and out, happy to feel the oxygen filling up his lungs. Moments later he felt alright, with the exception of the fading pain in his groins.

Peyote asked:
- Hao-sama, where have you been all this time? We've been searching for you for an hour or so, but you seemed to have vanished.

Hao sat on the ground and leaned his head on his arms, which were placed on his knees. He groaned and answered:
- I wish I knew what happened, Peyote. That madman, TheArchon, is playing tricks with me again.

Ashil rolled his eyes.

- Wouldn't it be a better idea if you forget about Yoh-sama and target that lunatic instead?
- I told you not to call my brother 'Yoh-sama'!!! – Hao spat out with an angry mark on his temple.
- Sorry.
- This whole thing is starting to suck a lot… - Hao murmured. – When are we going to get out of here?... When are we going to get Yoh?... This place seems to be stretching for miles.

Hao stood up with a lot of groans and sighs, still feeling pain from his last experience with Anna, and to everyone's surprise he roared out in anger:

- I'M SICK AND TIRED WITH THIS!!! I WANT TO GET OUT!!!

…want to get out…

…to get out…

…get out…

…out…

…out…

…t…

- What was that!?

…was that…

…s that…

…that…

- I believe it's just your echo, Hao-sama. – Ashil explained patiently.

- There was no echo here before!!! – Hao growled caustically. – Someone's doing this right now!

The shaman turned against the darkness, where the echo was probably coming from, and screamed:

- IS ANYBODY THERE!?

…IS ANYBODY THERE…

…ANYBODY THERE…

…BODY THERE…

…THERE…

…RE…

- THIS IS NOT FUNNY!!!

…THIS IS NOT FUNNY…

…IS NOT FUNNY…

…NOT FUNNY…

…FUNNY…

…NY…

Hao stood silent with a gloomy mug on his face. He took a deep breath for a second time and yelled:

- WHOEVER IS MAKING THAT GODDAMN ECHO IS A DICKLESS JACK-OFF RETARD WITH SHIT FOR BRAINS AND RICE BEANS FOR BALLS!!!!

Silence…

…and more silence…

…and even more silence…

…and…

….FUCK YOU BUDDY!!!...

A vein (angry mark) popped on Hao's face and he shot out:

- AAAAAAAAAAAAHAH! GOTCHA NOW, YOU BASTARD!

And he raced off in direction of the echo.

- HAO-SAMA!!!!!!!! – Everyone yelled after their master who disappeared in the darkness.

Ten seconds later someone groaned and collapsed on the ground and the battles of a struggle were heard. Someone shrieked something similar to 'Let go of my hand, you moron!'. Ashil and the others found Hao lying over his twin brother, pinning him to the ground and bending his arm behind his back, and judging by the tormented expression on Yoh's face, he was in a lot of pain now.

Hao was smirking triumphantly.

- Gotcha now, Yoh! Now it's time for you to die! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAAAH….

Then Ren, Horo's ghost, the neutered Lyserg, the remains of the Lily Five and a limping one-legged Ryu with a Great Knife stuck in his hair, walked out of the darkness behind the struggling twins. The weight of the latter object was forcing him to bend his torso backwards. The whole outcome of his experience through Silent Hill was turning him into half-lamentable, half-hilarious picture, and a candidate for a next Silent Hill monster. If the Konami monster designers could see him, they would probably shit themselves out of happiness.

Everyone got alerted at Hao's presence.

- HAO! – Ren yelled and pulled out his Kwan-Dao in a lame-ass movie-cliché-manner, which seemed so out of place now. Hao frowned and scowled Ren:

- Keep your shorts up, emo boy, else you'll say goodbye to your privates like your girlfriend Lyserg.

Ren shot a quick glance at the now officially female Lyserg. The former boy now saw new perspectives in his sexual life. He winked playfully at the Tao and the latter's blood literally froze. Ren got so frightened at Lyserg's new behavior that he completely forgot about Hao, giving the pyromaster enough time to stand up, lifting Yoh by the neck and dragging him off, away from the others. Ashil, Machi and Peyote trailed after him nervously. When they caught up with him, he was grinning in idiotic evilness and clutching his twin, who had passed out in his hand.

- Hao-sama! What do we do now!? – Peyote exclaimed.

- Isn't it obvious!? – Hao snapped at him. – We get out of this crappy place and find a place where I can assra- … ugh, I mean kill my twin in solitude!

- Wouldn't it be easier if we kill him here and then make a run for it? – Ashil suggested sarcastically. – He doesn't seem light to carry around.

- Just shut your mouth and keep moving! – Hao ordered. – I'll get this bitch out of here if it's the last thing I do!

Ashil snorted, cursed the Author of the story just out of habit and ran even faster, seeing as Ren, his green-haired girlfriend, the grotesque monster, formerly Ryu, but now known as the 'Idiot With Greasy Hair And Great Knife Stuck In It', in shortage 'IWGHAGKSIT', Horo Horo's stupid ghost and a pack of bitches 'n' hoes were chasing after them.
Yup. Things couldn't get any better.

Tamao stood in front of the cell.

She looked at the sign next to the cell. It was big. Really big. It was fuckin HUGE, gawddamnit! Even an illiterate retarded hippy who was high on pot suffering from Parkinson's disorder, lumbago and pinkeye would probably get the idea that whatever was behind that cell wasn't supposed to be released.

The sign was taking up most of the corridor. The words written on it were crimson red, drooling down the sign like blood. Just to make sure everyone sees the words, someone had put shiny flashing lights on it.

Tamao read the sign.

'Do not open till X-mas! In fact, don't open it even then! Well, if I think about it, don't open it at all! Never! Do not release Da Evil Powas that are locked inside the cell! Else you'll get uber pwned by the n00b inside.'

Tamao couldn't understand what the last sentence meant, but it was probably something bad.
The girl neared the cell. She gazed at the impenetrable darkness inside. She couldn't see a damn thing. There were no sounds coming from inside the cell.
She looked at the door. It was chained up with twenty-three chains and five padlocks. Whoever locked that cell certainly wanted it to remain locked.
Tamao then looked at the file that was pinned against the wall next to the door. She picked it and investigated it carefully. It was the prisoner's file. The one that was locked inside this cell.

CELL№4

Occupant: X (Classified)
DangerLevel: 10 (Extremely High)
OccupantSince: 12 April, 1902
SentenceExpiringDate: None (Life Sentence given)
CrimesCommited: See below in Biography

PrisonerBiography:

X was born and raised in France, Paris, in a trashcan by a rabid dog and a mad cow. At the age of 4 commiting the murder of a fat Nazi guy, a French homosexual and a jar of pickles. At the age of 8 X travels to the USA where he lives in Kansas for 3 months in a cornfield, forced to feed on raw corn. At the age of 9 X moves in the backyard of a Texas redneck and secretly feeds on his potatoes. At the age of 10 he learns the Secret of the Potato and starts making drugs from potatoes. At the age of 11 X builds his own house out of potatoes, invents a car made from potatoes, sleeps on a bed made of potatoes and filled with potatoes, eats potatoes, drinks potato juice, and goes to the toilet crapping potatoes and pissing potatoes, the latter activity being extremely questioning to the size and/or shape of his reproductive organs. At the age of 12, he is a billionaire and invests all of his money in potato industry and potato development. Shortly after an incident in his Potato Research Laboratory (PRL for shortage) the government discovers that Potatoes are being used as test subjects for the invention of new Potato-powered weapons, obviously five-thousand times more powerful that an atomic bomb and use them against the country. X is captured and imprisoned for life, but when World War I breaks out he is given amnesty and used for his skills in assassination and knowledge of potato warfare. Helping the USA army crush the German forces with his Potato robots and Potato Cyborgs, X is declared a hero and awarded with a Medal of Bravery and the unique Medal of the Potato. When World War II breaks out, he is sent with the mission to thwart the Nazi advance on Britain. After an unsuccessful attempt to assassinate the Fuhrer with a potato, he is ordered to be executed but all efforts to kill him are in vain, as X had implanted genetically modified potatoes under his skin that served as impenetrable shields. Imprisoned for life, he escapes the German prison 2 days after his imprisonment and sets out to destroy Berlin with a potato submachine and a potato flamethrower, the latter weapon being extremely effective against everything and anywhere, even in water. When World War II ends, he is left in the ruins of Berlin, uncontrollable and unstable, killing everything that gets in his way, even Allied soldiers. He is tranquilized and transported to the Pentagon where he is locked and sentenced for life. Now, please, don't ask me why the hell this cell appeared in here, seeing as X is locked in the Pentagon. Maybe the malicious demonic forces of Silent Hill had somehow moved the cell through time and space to here? Or maybe Silent Hill IS the Pentagon? What if they are amassing an army of genetically modified monsters to take over the world!? What if … naah, who gives a shit anyway? Just don't open the fuckin cell, else a lot of shit will happen, I sweat it!

Tamao placed the file back on the wall and neared the cell. She grabbed the bars of the door and yelled:
- Hello? Is anybody in there!?

Following every film cliché that was implanted in her puny brain, Tamao gazed in the darkness and yelled even louder, completely ignoring the huge sign above the cell and the file with all the scary crap that was written in there:
- X! Is that what they call you!? Are you in there!?

There was silence for a while. Tamao was about to walk away from the cell, when a voice, dry as countless millennia, or perhaps as a dude who hadn't drunk water in a while, spoke:

- Yes…

Tamao gasped.

She did not know that she was about to release the most frightening creature known to mankind. She also didn't known that the creature locked inside this cell had the evilness, malice, demonic influence, diabolism, and devilish powers that Anna had. It was an equal of Anna, the Ice Queen Bitch. It was Evil that had existed before Time itself. It was as ancient as the core of the Universe.

It was nasty.
It was terrifying.
It was sadistic.
It was merciless.
And its name was…

…Timmy.

From the Author: MWAhahahahahahahaaaaaah! Here ends another scary and cryptic chapter of The Legend Lives Once Again! Expect the last part of Chapter Twenty Four coming soon, on :D