.:Chapter Twenty-Five – When To Acknowledge That Something Isn't Right PART 3:.
"Most people return small favors, acknowledge medium ones and repay greater ones - with ingratitude." ~Ben Franklin
Katie hitched her pool bag over her shoulder, gathering her towel in her arms. Seconds later, she dropped it back onto the bed, dropping her bag as well. She then moved away from her bed, her flip-flops smacking against the soles of her feet as she moved over to her computer and booted it up. She had only browsed the internet for a few minutes before she closed the monitor, letting out a huff of frustration.
So many places to go in LA and there's nothing for me to do. She thought to herself as she moved her brown hair out of her hazel eyes. She got up from her desk and left her room, wandering out to the sitting area of the apartment, hoping to find someone that was doing something interesting. All she found was James and Carlos playing a video game (typical) and Logan heading out the door. Maybe he's doing something interesting.
"Hey Logan, where are you going?" she called after him.
Logan stopped and turned to her with a pleasant smile, his hand on the doorknob to the front of the apartment. He shifted his backpack up his shoulder and replied, "I'm going to the library to check out some books then I'm going over to Camille's apartment so we can work on our papers together."
Katie rolled her eyes. "You mean so you guys can suck each other's faces off." She corrected him, causing Logan to blush in embarrassment, although he looked pleased at the idea. Boys. Katie crossed her arms over her chest. "Don't you ever get tired of making out all the time? I mean, she practically jumps you every time she sees you, it's disgusting."
"One think you have to learn about guys, Katie, is that all of us want to be jumped by a girl." Carlos commented from the couch.
Katie rolled her eyes again as Logan gave her a smile and a wave before leaving the apartment. It wasn't like she wasn't surprised, ever since the two started going out, you would find them kissing like crazy more than you would see them actually hanging out with anyone else. Kendall and Jo were kind of the same, but not to that extent. If Kendall wasn't around, he was with Jo; Katie even started to notice that he was around her more than he was around the other guys lately. Not that she would say it out loud, but she was starting to get a bit jealous over the fact that she and Kendall hadn't really spent any time together since they had gotten out to LA.
Katie turned on her heel and started to walk over to the couch. Maybe playing some video games would help keep her from getting so bored. Besides, beating the guys always put a smile on her face, especially when they got mad at the fact that they had gotten beaten by a girl, especially because she was younger than them.
"I got next game." She said as she flopped down onto the couch next to James.
"No problem." James and Carlos muttered in reply, their eyes on the TV screen as their hands jerked back and forth with the controllers in them.
Katie laughed lightly at the monotone sounds of their voices as she settled into the couch, watching them play. Only a few minutes had gone by before someone knocked twice on the door. Katie, James, nor Carlos made any moves to get up. When the person knocked twice again, Katie leaned her head back, keeping her eyes on the screen.
"It's open!" She shouted.
"You do realize that if you don't bother to see who's at the door some ax maniac could come in a murder you, right?" Patrick said as he and Noah slowly entered the apartment, looking around. They visible relaxed before walking over to the couch.
Katie's smile faded slightly. She wasn't sure if she was mad at him exactly, but she wasn't happy to see him, not after the way that he had yelled at her in New York. It was embarrassing, she had only said something so simple and he snapped at her and left her and Lizzie out on the street, with people staring at them. Lizzie had quickly jumped to his defense, saying that it was stress and the two girls continued sightseeing before they went back to see the show, but she was sure that that wasn't it at all. No matter how much stress you were in, you wouldn't yell at someone like that that quickly. Katie turned back around to watch James and Carlos, who had half-heartedly muttered a greeting, catching Noah's eye. He gave her a warm smile and she nodded back before focusing on the TV.
"What are you guys doing?" Patrick asked. "Oh, are you playing Halo 4?"
"Yes! It's awesome!" Carlos cried and firmly pressed a button on his controller. He laughed triumphantly as James let out a scream of terror, watching as his character was blown up by a missile. "Got ya!"
"You're going to pay for that one," James replied as his character re-spawned.
Noah poked Patrick on the arm. "You didn't come here to play video games." He said to his twin brother. Patrick sighed and nodded before reaching out and lightly tapping Katie on the arm, getting her attention.
"Look, I wanted to apologize for yelling at you like that back when we were in New York." Patrick said sincerely. "It wasn't right, I was stressed and annoyed, and I shouldn't have taken it out on you." He shrugged. "I just hate it when people act like our job is the easiest thing in the world and that all we care about is the perks of our job and that's really not it. We care about our fans and we care about making music that people like as well as what we like and since I've been doing it for so long…" his eyes darkened and he looked away. Noah nudged him with his shoulder and he cleared his throat, looking back at her. "Either way, I'm sorry." He gave a lopsided smile and when he spoke again, his accent filled his voice. "We're still friends, yeah?"
Katie thought for a moment, she definitely wasn't going to make this easy. "I thought that you said that you guys didn't know to be friends."
Patrick hesitated, his eyes shifting over to Noah. Noah took it upon himself to answer. "It's not that we don't know how to be friends…" he said slowly, looking pained as he tried to explain it. "It's that we don't really know how to keep them. Our busy schedule makes it hard for people to put up with it for so long, even when we're home on break. The paparazzi and the fans…"
"Do you guys ever get chased or anything?" James asked as he paused the game and got up from the couch, looking impressed. "By girls and stuff?"
"Not really," Noah shrugged. "Only when we did some press thing in-"
"-Brazil," Patrick jumped in. "They don't do well with personal space. But back home-"
"-Since we're so big-"Noah continued.
"The paparazzi are the problem." The two chorused. "They make up lies in the tabloids all the time."
Carlos stared at the two of them, his eyes wide, as he sat on the couch on his knees, his arms draped over the back of the couch. "Oh my god, that's so weird!" He declared before jumping to his feet. "How you guys talk in unison like that," he added at their weirded out looks. "Hey, if I punch one of you, will the other feel it?"
"No, but as a reflex, I might punch you back." Patrick replied with an easy going smile as Noah frowned.
Katie noticed and asked, "You get that question a lot, don't you?" She asked.
"More than you would think." Noah replied.
"What?" James's forehead wrinkled as he leaned a bit closer. "I'm sorry; I couldn't hear what you said."
"He said, we get that question more than you would think," Patrick replied and then put his arm around Noah's shoulders, putting him in a headlock. "You have to forgive him; he doesn't like to talk to people. Isn't that right, Buddy?" He asked and playfully pushed him away. Noah smirked and hit him on the back of the head, causing his older twin brother to laugh.
"There's no problem with that," James said with a grin. "You just have to learn to be more confident though," he gave him a curious look. "You don't seem to have that problem on stage…"
Noah merely shrugged.
"Anyway," James crossed his arms over his chest. "What were your guys' plans for today?" He asked and then motioned over to Carlos. "We were thinking of hitting up the pool to chat with some of the girls down there today." He grinned as he nodded slowly. "Do you want to come?"
"At the risk of Riles and Rhubes finding out and killing us, no thanks," Patrick grimaced.
"Where are your sisters anyway?" Carlos asked as he took his helmet off of his head and spun it between his hands. "And Sydney? You guys are usually all together." He added.
"Riley and Rhuben are working and Sydney is probably with them." Patrick replied slowly, as if he was making sure that each word he said was acceptable.
"Do you have the day off from the studio today?" Carlos's nose wrinkled in confusion.
"No," Patrick looked confused in return, shaking his head. He raised a hand up and scratched his head, being careful of the spikes that were placed in his hair and then his eyes widened. "Oh, no! I mean, they're at work at the mall, we don't go to the studio until later."
"The mall?" Katie repeated.
"Yeah, we have part time jobs in the restaurant in the mall," Patrick explained. "The Cascade Café? Since our schedule isn't as hectic here as it is at home and we can't touch any of the money we make until we're eighteen…" his eyes dimmed. "Dad thought that it would be a good idea so we didn't hit him up for money and so we can stay down-to-earth."
"Why don't you tell them our life story, Buddy?" Noah asked sarcastically, lightly shoving him.
"Whatever," Patrick rolled his eyes. "Anyway, pool's cool, let's go or whatever." He now looked annoyed.
"Do you need your suits?" Katie asked, tilting her head to the side. "It doesn't look like you brought anything over."
"First thing you learn about living in warm climates," Noah said and he and Patrick lifted the bottoms of their shirts, showing off their six packs, and moved the waist bands of their jeans to the side, showing off the tops of their swim trunks underneath. "You always bring your bathing suit with you."
"Shield your eyes!" James quickly moved to Katie's side and slapped his large hand over her face. He used his other hand to grab onto her waist, swinging her behind him. "Shield your eyes, there's nothing to see here!"
"James, let go!" Katie cried, frantically kicking her legs.
"Let's go before Bitters tries to kick us out of the pool." Carlos said with a laugh and led the way out of the apartment. James, still holding onto Katie, followed after him. Patrick and Noah brought up the rear.
"Hey, don't you want to lock the door?" Patrick asked, tilting his head to the side.
"Mama Knight has the key," James replied.
"But don't you think that there's a good chance that you stuff could get stolen or whatever?" Patrick continued.
"Uh-"Carlos started.
"No," Noah shook his head. "Hold on a few seconds, he'll get it." As he said that, Patrick's face turned from one of intense confusion to complete clarity. He smiled and blushed a little bit as he nodded. "And we're there." Noah said, his eyebrows twitching in amusement.
The five started towards the PalmWoods pool. "You didn't answer his question."
Katie looked up and blinked when she realized that Noah was speaking to her. She had heard him, it was kind of hard to though, but she thought that he was talking to James and Carlos. Her eyebrows crinkled together as she thought about what he was talking about. Whose question didn't she answer?
"Huh?" she asked, pushing her hair behind her ear.
"Patrick asked if we were still friends," Noah replied, holding his long fringe out of his face with his hand. "You didn't answer the question."
Katie shrugged. "I'll let you know." She replied teasingly. "I haven't really decided yet. It might be sort of a drag."
Noah snorted but didn't say anything else. They arrived at the pool and James immediately went over to talk to two pretty brunettes who were standing by the smoothie bar, waiting for their order to be filled out. Noah hesitated for a moment, looking over at Patrick as the two followed Carlos and Katie to a few empty pool chairs. Patrick looked back at him, shielding his face from the sunlight that shined on them, and nodded encouragingly in reply before giving an encouraging smile. Noah gave a fleeting smile back before he sat down on the end of a pool chair and stripped down to his swim trunks. He immediately folded his arms across his chest, hunching in on himself.
"Hey, what happened here?" Carlos asked, lightly poking Noah on the back. Katie leaned over and winced at the circular purple-black bruise that was sitting there.
"We were playing sting-pong yesterday and I lost." Noah said, giving a half smile.
"What's sting-pong?" Carlos immediately took to attention, getting so excited that he accidentally squeezed a bottle of sunscreen in his hands so hard that it splattered open onto the concrete. "It sounds like a fun game."
"A stupid game is more like it." Katie remarked.
"Depends on your point of view." Noah wrung his hands together, resting his arms on his knees as they bounced up and down. "Basically you take a ping-pong ball, bounce it back and forth across the table. Whoever loses the point has to turn around and get smacked in the back by the ball."
"Like I said, dumb." Katie rolled her eyes.
"If you think that we're so dumb, how come you hang around us so much?" Patrick suddenly asked. By the flatness of his tone, Carlos wasn't sure if he was joking or being completely serious. He didn't bother asking though, as his eyes turned back to Noah's back.
He then noticed a scar that was on his shoulder blade, but didn't ask about that either. It could come from a lot of things. I mean, that's why you have to wear your helmet, because Mom and Dad thought that you hurt yourself too much. And you have a lot of scars from hockey, so it doesn't necessarily mean that anything's wrong. Carlos reassured himself, rubbing sunscreen on his arms. He then noticed that Katie hadn't changed out of her clothes.
"Aren't you going to go swimming?" he asked.
Katie shrugged, looking away from him as she flushed a little. "I haven't decided yet."
"Guys, let's play some volleyball," James suggested as he walked back over to them, looking gleeful. He turned and pointed to the girls behind him. "I just got those girls' attention and I want to be sure that I keep it."
"Best thing for you to do is to get that spinach out of your teeth." Patrick replied and then smiled as James freaked out and started to run his tongue over his teeth. "Dude, I'm kidding, relax." He then looked down and pointed at the concrete. "But you might want to watch out for-"
"Whoa!" James stepped on the sunscreen that Carlos had spilled and slipped, landing hard on the concrete. He let out a slight cry of pain as he landed on his arm. "Ow." He sat up, holding up his left arm. His skin had been scraped and some blood was running down his arm. His left leg, which he had tried to use to catch himself, was swelling slightly at the knee.
"Are you ok, James?" Katie asked, standing up along with Carlos, Patrick, and Noah as they crowded around him. "What hurts?"
"Let me see," Noah pushed James's hands away from his knee and looked it over. "You'll live; just put some ice on it if it swells even more, the pool water may do you some good though. Take some pain pills and get some sleep and you should be fine soon."
"Wow, you really know what to do." Carlos said as he and Patrick helped James to his feet. He held his hands out to steady James as he tested his weight on his knee. His leg buckled slightly, but then James was able to walk around with a slight limp. He turned and gave Noah a warm smile.
"I should, I get hurt enough has it is." Noah replied without thinking. As soon as he realized what he said, he turned as white as a sheet.
"That reminds me," Patrick suddenly jumped in, before anyone could say anything to what he had just blatantly admitted, and grabbed his jeans off of the pool chair. He flipped it back and forth a few times, looking for something, and then pulled a few plastic badges hanging on strings out of his pocket. "We have a show at the Roxy coming up soon and we wanted you guys to be there." He turned and handed Carlos the badges, who grabbed them and passed them out to James and Katie. "There's enough for Kendall, Logan, and Mrs. Knight as well." He placed his hands on his hips and rubbed his nose with his shoulder. "You can invite Jo and Stephanie," he cleared his throat. "And Camille if you want, each badge grants you a guest."
"Awesome," Katie's eyes lit up as she looked over her badge. "I'll invite Lizzie to come."
"She's in New York with Dak; they won't be back in time for it." Patrick said. Thank god. Keep a secret from the guys is easy 'because they don't know us that well, but from Dak and Lizzie, even Ronan, its like, torture. "But bring whomever you want."
"I'm sure that Gustavo has us on the list already anyway." James said as he flipped his hair from his face. He smiled and nodded at a girl that walked by before turning back to the others. "You know, already figuring that you could teach us a thing or two that he thinks that we can't learn." He rolled his eyes.
"Gustavo's not that bad," Katie said. "He just wants to make sure that you guys do well."
"That's what they're for." Carlos said as he pointed to Patrick and Noah.
"And don't forget it." Patrick grinned, holding up a hand for a high-five. Although he was the one that initiated it, he couldn't help but wince a little as James reached out and gave him a high-five. "Let's play some volleyball!"
Carlos let out a loud, shrieking cheer as he raced forward and jumped into the pool with a messy cannonball. James followed him with a striding dive into the water. Patrick motioned Noah over to the side as Katie slowly started to change into her bathing suit.
"I know what you're going to say," Noah grumbled before Patrick could open his mouth. "It was an accident, alright."
"I wasn't going to say that," Patrick denied. "I was going to say that I think…that it might be a good idea if we distanced ourselves from them…after today, just for a bit. Riles and Rhubes would probably say the same thing, but I only want to be sure that you guys are ok with the others around."
Noah gave him a strange look. "I may be younger than you by, like, two minutes-"
"More like five." Patrick interrupted.
"Five minutes." Noah corrected himself as he rolled his eyes. "But the only one that we really have to worry about is Syd. Don't waste your time on me. I'm fine, but thanks for the thought."
The Jacksons had a strange way of 'taking care of each other' depending on who was around. If all five of them were around, Riley and Rhuben quickly fell into that pattern, making sure that their brothers had everything that they needed for the day. If they weren't, then Patrick and Noah usually took it over. If Riley was gone, Rhuben did it, and then if Rhuben was gone, Patrick did it. It was a way that each of them made sure that they took care of their family, as they didn't want to rely on anyone else to do it. They tried not to show it much whenever they were around their friends or in public, because they knew that people would ask a lot of questions, but it was a peace of mind for them.
Noah said as he held up his hand. "I love you, Buddy." "I love you, too, Buddy." Patrick replied, clasping his twin's hand in his.
"Are you guys going in?" Katie asked as she walked over in her light blue one-piece. At the sound of her voice, Patrick and Noah quickly turned around.
"Yes," they replied in unison. Patrick waited until Katie had jumped into the pool as well before he turned back to Noah. "Did you remember to put on the water-proof cover-up?"
Noah sighed. "Yeah."
Kendall shifted his large bag of shoes, Vans, to his left hand as the handle started to cut into the palm of his right hand. He couldn't help but smile at his purchase, he knew that girls got really…weird about shopping, and for him, it was for Vans. They were the only kind of shoes that he would ever wear and he had about twenty pairs of it in his closet back at the apartment. And that wasn't all of the pairs that he had, some of them were put into storage when his mother decided to rent out their house while they were in LA. He was walking through the food court, trying to decide if he wanted to get something to eat there or wait until he got home. When he remembered that his mother was out all day doing who knows what, he decided to get something to eat there.
He was on his way to a McDonald's when he noticed Sydney sitting in a booth of a nearby restaurant, playing a handheld video game, letting out an excited shout every now and then. Kendall smiled as he walked over to the younger boy/his co-worker.
"Hi Kendall." Sydney greeted as Kendall sat down in the booth across from him.
"Hey Syd, how's it going?" Kendall asked, setting his bag down on the ground. "Are you getting something to eat?" He asked, looking over the menu that was sitting by him, untouched. From the nine year old was sitting in the booth, his shoes off and his legs crossed, let him know that he had been there for a while, although Sydney didn't look bothered. "Are you waiting for someone?" He added.
Sydney nodded, not taking his eyes off of the screen to his game. "Riley and Rhuben are working and Dad had to go to meetings all day. I decided to stay with Ri-Ri and Rhu-Rhu so they had company." He put the game aside and finally looked at Kendall. "Just so when things got kind of slow, they didn't get bored."
"Oh," Kendall's eyes drifted to the bruise that took up the side of Sydney's face. "So, did you get hit by a door?" He asked, referring to the spot.
Sydney gave a wry smile. "More like got knocked to the floor by my older brothers." He added. "We like to wrestle a lot."
"Mhm," Kendall kept his smile up. I wonder if that's a lie too. "So why didn't you just go with them today? Where are they anyway?"
"PalmWoods?" Sydney shrugged. "Patrick said he was going to go apologize to Katie for yelling at her…and I wanted to stay here." He turned his gaze away and grabbed a handful of straws from the dispenser and started to rip off one end. He then put the straw in his mouth and blew the paper off of the straw and across the table.
Apologize for what? Kendall suddenly realized that Katie had been acting differently since they had been in New York and made a mental note to talk to her about it. They hadn't talked as much as they used to and he wanted to be sure that she knew that she was still important to him, no matter how big the band got. Maybe I should take her and Mom out for dinner to say 'thanks' since they gave up their lives for us.
"Hey Little-Man, is this customer bothering you?" Rhuben asked as she and Riley walked over. She reached out and ran her fingers through Sydney's hair, causing him to smile.
"No, he's keeping me company," Sydney replied. "Since you changed your shift to today and we didn't need to go to Rocque Records, and I didn't want to go…" his eyes shifted. " I've been kind of bored." He admitted. "Especially waiting for your shift to end at 9:30 so we can go to the studio to work with Ronan."
"I didn't peg you to be a shopper, Hockey-Head?" Riley stated as she pointed to the bag by his feet. "What did you get?" She tilted her head to the side. "Fake teeth in case yours get knocked out?"
"No," Kendall ignored the dig and turned the bag to the side. "I just got a few new pairs of shoes."
Rhuben looked at how big the bag was and shook her head, moving the black, circular tray that she was carrying under her arm. She then placed her free hand on her hips, showing off her dark purple colored nails. "It looks like you got more than a few new shoes. You sure you don't have any for Jo in there? Maybe she bribed you with a few pairs to get her some as well." Her eyes flashed with amusement as Riley laughed.
"No, they're mine." Kendall replied. "Speaking of shoes, I was wondering how you think I'm doing with our private lessons." He said, causing Rhuben to think about it for a moment. "I've been working really hard," he added quickly. "The steps that you give us are really difficult and I want to make sure that I do a good job for my buds."
"You're doing as to be expected," Rhuben replied. "So relax."
"Hey," Sydney smiled, breaking into the conversation, as he pointed down at Kendall's bag. "Riley wears Vans too. She obsesses over them." He then turned to Rhuben. "And Rhu-Rhu likes Punkrose, do you-"
"Don't bother him, Syd." Riley interrupted, causing Sydney to fall silent.
"He's not bothering me," Kendall said quickly as he stood up. "In fact, I was the one that came and sat with him. But since he said that he was bored," he looked down at Riley and Rhuben. "I wouldn't mind bringing him back to our apartment while you guys finish your shift." He looked around behind him. "I didn't know you worked here." He added.
"Not many people do." Riley said evenly.
"Pat, No, Riles, and I do for extra spending money since our schedules here are so…relaxed." Rhuben added, her tone turning icy as she studied Kendall. "Syd comes to help wash dishes every now and then and to help us serve if we're understaffed." She added, Sydney quietly nodding behind her.
"Like I said, I'd be willing to take him back to our apartment." Kendall reiterated. "I can watch him."
"That's really up to Syd," Riley added, pointing to her brother, who perked up, his eyes widening as he smiled.
Kendall crossed his arms over his chest. He looked away for a minute before looking back at the twin girls. The temperature in the area seemed to have dropped, but the AC hadn't kicked in, and there wasn't a draft anywhere. But he could definitely feel it. "What's wrong with you?" Kendall asked.
"Me?" Riley said, raising her right eyebrow.
"You're being so…so…" Kendall said.
"So?" Riley prompted.
"Antisocial weird."
"Get used to it." Sydney remarked.
Rhuben laughed and gave her baby brother a fond smile, causing him to smile back that his dimples appeared in his cheeks. Riley looked at Rhuben and raised her eyebrows, letting out a breath and running a hand through her hair. Her lips slowly curled into a mischievous smirk. "You'll be on your best behavior right?" Riley asked, looking like she was trying not to laugh as Sydney nodded.
"Just treat him….like all of the other babysitters." Rhuben added. Sydney grinned and quickly scrambled down from the booth and hurried to Kendall's side. "We'll come by to get him later." She said to Kendall.
"No problem," Kendall replied with a warm smile and then snapped his fingers. "Or, I'll just take him to the studio when your guys' shift is done," he added, looking at his watch. "I could bring the guys and Katie and…maybe…we could stay and watch you guys record?" He added with a sheepish smile. Riley exchanged a look with Rhuben and the two looked at each other for a few moments, finally Rhuben raised her eyebrows and the two turned back to Kendall.
"It might do you some good," Riley shrugged, lightly shaking her head. "That way you know what real talent is like." She pulled her phone from her pocket and handed it to Sydney before she and Rhuben held up their hands. They quickly flashed their index finger, four of their fingers, and then three of their fingers, prompting Sydney to do the same.
I love you.
I love you, too.
"Ha," Kendall said sarcastically. "I'll see you guys later."
"I give him ten minutes." Rhuben waited until Kendall and her brother were out of earshot before turning back to her twin sister, confused. "Don't you think they'll figure everything out? Once they hear the songs that we're working on?"
"If they haven't figured it out now, it may take a while," Riley replied as she wiped her hands off on her apron. "Besides, that's what we want, right? Ultimately?" Rhuben shrugged as well. Riley then blew her hair out of her face. "You know that Ronan would have let them stay if they showed up randomly anyway, so it wouldn't even make a difference."
"What if Logan says something?" Rhuben reminded her.
"We'll just make sure that that doesn't happen," Riley said after a moment. "And you know us; we'll make sure that we get our way when we need to get our way."
Rhuben smirked.
…
..
.
"So what do you want to do first?" Kendall asked as he opened the door to the apartment to let Sydney inside. He looked around, noticing that the apartment was quiet, much quieter than usual. The other guys must be out, he reasoned to himself. Oh well, that gives me more time to figure things out. He closed the door behind him and then laughed when he heard Sydney's stomach growl loudly. He turned around and laughed as Sydney blushed, his hands on his stomach. "Lunch it is, then." He said and then went to the kitchen. "Make yourself at home; help yourself to whatever you want."
"Don't ever say that when Patrick is around." Sydney warned Kendall as he sat down at the kitchen table. "He'll eat all of the food in your refrigerator."
"Sounds a lot like Carlos." Kendall said as he grabbed leftover hot dogs and stuck them in the microwave. He then went to the refrigerator to get a soda for the both of them.
Sydney watched Kendall. He wasn't sure how he felt about him and his friends. On one hand, they were the closest friends than he had in a while, on the other, they were liabilities to his secret. Sydney reached up and touched the puffy side of his face. It had happened that morning when Riley, Rhuben, Patrick, and Noah had been late to getting their father up for work, no matter how hard they tried to wake him, he wouldn't until his late alarm went off. Sydney didn't move out of the way fast enough and he put his anger out on the youngest member of the family. His siblings had apologized profusely and he just sucked it up and said that it was ok, it could have happened to anyone. He didn't want them to feel guiltier than they already did. The lie that he came up with, being knocked to the floor, he knew that Kendall didn't believe it though.
He wasn't sure how much the blonde member of Big Time Rush knew, but he was smart enough to know that it was more than any of them could afford.
"Hey, what's that?" Kendall asked, pointing to Sydney's right ankle.
Sydney looked down at it, expecting to see a bug, bracing himself to explain a bruise, but then relaxed when he spotted the familiar barbed wire that was tattooed around his ankle. He lifted his head and gave Kendall a grin. "My tattoo." He replied.
"You have tattoos?" Kendall asked, looking a bit shocked. Either that he had them or that he had them because he was so young. Sydney was used to it, he got that question a lot. But it wasn't like he didn't want one himself, he had parental permission, it was no big deal.
Sydney shrugged. "You kind of can't be a rock band if you don't have a tattoo." He replied. "We all have barbed wire around our right ankle. And then Noah has his nickname across his shoulders and a star on his left shoulder blade, Patrick has his nickname across his shoulders and a star on his right shoulder blade, Rhu-Rhu has a music note on her right bicep, and Ri-Ri has a nautical star on her right hip, a ball of flames on her right bicep, and a black dragon on her right arm." He then puffed out his chest and said boastfully. "I want to get another one, a star on my shoulders."
"Did it hurt?" Kendall asked curiously.
"I don't know," Sydney shook his head. "I don't even remember getting it," he shook his right foot. "But it's cool." He then studied Kendall's face as he continued to look serious. "The only reason you usually don't' see it is because we only show them for specific photo shoots and for our performances. We got a lot of flack about having tattoos, so many of them at our age, that we agreed with Ronan that we'll cover them up with make-up whenever we're around little kids and their parents and some appearances, but for photo shoots, when we're out by ourselves, and for our performances, we can show them off."
"Has anyone ever told you that you're really smart?" Kendall asked. "You, like, read my brain."
"I get that a lot." Sydney smirked.
"I'm sure you do."
"But it makes sense though," Sydney said as he crossed his legs in his seat, watching as Kendall sat across from him with his own food. "I'm a genius." Kendall gave him a look and he nodded earnestly. "Really, I am. I'm part of Mensa and everything. Most people don't believe me though; kids call me a liar until I prove them wrong."
Kendall shifted in his seat, not sure how to bring up the question that he wanted to ask. So he did it slowly. "Is it hard for you to make friends because you're so smart and because you're in such a famous band?" Sydney nodded as he took another bite of his hot dog. "I'm only asking because it doesn't seem like you have many friends your age. Or that it would be hard to have them."
"You're right," Sydney agreed. "It's hard because I'm always away from home. But that's why I love it so much, I'm with my best friends 24/7. And my brothers and sisters take really good care of me."
"But isn't that a job that's for your Dad?" Kendall asked, grabbing a handful of chips and starting to eat them slowly. Sydney looked back at him, his dark brows knitted in confusion as Kendall's green eyes bore into his blues ones. "I mean, he's your manager, he should be taking care of you guys."
"But he's also, basically, a first time father to six kids," Sydney defended his dad quickly, his eyes growing wide. "If you don't count my brother, Julius. So, it's hard on him, my siblings help out." He lowered his gaze to his lap. "It's no big deal." He mumbled and then lifted his head and gave Kendall a challenging look, startling the older teenage boy with a glare. "Isn't that what you did with Katie?"
"That's…different." Kendall hesitated.
"How?" Sydney demanded.
Kendall didn't know how to respond. He knew that Sydney and his siblings had done research, a lot of research about him and his friends. But did that mean that they knew about his dad as well? It always made him angry, thinking about how his father had left them when Katie was so young. Apparently he couldn't handle the stress of having kids, or maybe he didn't love his mother anymore? He wasn't sure. Nor did he really care. Besides, it wasn't like it was difficult for anyone to figure out his parents' story, his dad wasn't there in LA with them, no one ever talked about him (Logan, James, and Carlos made sure never to bring him up), the subject was changed whenever he was talked about, Kati didn't say anything, and everyone acted like he didn't exist.
That was the way that Kendall liked it.
"I don't know how," Kendall replied and then gave a teasing smile. "You're the genius, you tell me."
"Defensive humor," Sydney noted as his eyes narrowed. "Something is bothering you," he said matter-of-fact. "But I'm not going to push you on it; I know that you don't want to talk about it." He moved to get up from the table.
"W-What makes you say that?"
"I was just speculating." Sydney moved to grab his tumbler glass of soda, but accidentally knocked it to the floor. He gasped as the glass shattered, sending shards of glass and soda everywhere. "Oh no," he moved forward to clean it up and then backed away as he pricked one of his fingers. "I'm sorry."
"Don't worry, I got it." Kendall said as he got up from the table and went to get a rag and a dishtowel. "It's nothing." He heard a whimper and looked up to see Sydney had walked over to him and held out his arms, his head down. "What are you doing?"
"It's alright," Sydney said in a low voice. "I deserve it."
"You deserve what?" Kendall repeated, his heart starting to beat faster.
"My punishment." Sydney replied in a babyish tone. "I deserve to be punished." He repeated, still holding his arms out.
"I'm not going to punish you," Kendall said slowly. Sydney lifted his head up and looked at Kendall, his blue eyes looking a bit haunted. "It was an accident. I knock stuff over all the time, no big deal." Sydney lowered his arms, still looking troubled. "Syd, what's-"
"Hey," Sydney suddenly snapped back to attention, his eyes no longer looking haunted. "Do you want to see some pictures?" He asked. Kendall nodded. "Do you mind if I borrow your laptop?" When Kendall shook his head, Sydney hurried to Kendall's bedroom to grab it.
That was so weird; Kendall started to sweep up the shards of glass, being careful to get every single one, so that no one would step on it later. I know that my mom would be a bit upset that it's broken, but it was an accident, nothing to be so bothered over. He looked up as Sydney came back out of Kendall's room, carefully holding onto his laptop. And he sounded weird when he said it, too; like he wasn't completely there. One minute he acts like a nine year old, then a 20 year old genius, and then like he's…I don't know what and then back to being nine years old. Kendall finished sweeping up the glass and then wiped the soda off of the floor with a rag before he walked over to Sydney, who was waiting patiently on the couch.
"Ok, this is our website" Sydney pulled up a webpage. "I designed most of it myself, and we're always putting new things on there. So far our blog," he pointed to a link in the corner of the screen. "Is the most popular, it's how we interact with our fans the most. Anyway," he moved to the photo gallery. "Here are some pictures; they're my favorites at the moment." He pulled up one of Rhuben. "This is of Rhu from a Photoshoot for a magazine back home called Dolly," he then switched to one of either Patrick or Noah, hanging upside down. Kendall laughed at the picture. "And this is one for Dirt, another magazine at home, but aimed for teenage guys."
"Oh, ok." Kendall nodded at the clarification.
Sydney then scrolled through a lot more pictures; one of Patrick and Riley making funny faces at each other, one of Riley taking a picture at the beach, one of Julius (the eldest Jacksons siblings) doing a handstand on the beach as water surged up around him, one of Julius holding Rhuben up over him with his feet, one of Noah, looking out at the water, a close-up of Rhuben, one of Sydney when he was first learning how to surf (when he was a baby/toddler), one of Sydney wrapped up in a blanket, one of a younger Rhuben (as Sydney explained, pointing to the faint birthmark on her forehead), one of Patrick when he wasn't looking.
And then there was a picture of a beautiful woman in the water, her hands up by her cheeks, caught in mid-laughter. Then there was a picture of a handsome man on the beach; caught in a pose as if he was explaining something to someone. Kendall studied the pictures before looking over at Sydney, who suddenly looked sad.
"Who are they?" Kendall asked gently. He knew who they were, he didn't have to ask.
"It's my Mom and Dad," Sydney replied, his lips pursing slightly. "They loved to go to the beach as much as we did before they died. I think that these were taken before we were born though." He added thoughtfully.
"Those were great," Kendall said as Sydney closed the laptop and pushed it aside. "Who took them?"
"Rhu-Rhu did," Sydney said with a proud smile. "She loves to take pictures and we love to pose for them."
Kendall moved his legs up onto the couch and he turned and faced Sydney fully. The younger boy looked back at him, curiously. "Why'd you want to show me those pictures?" He asked gently.
"So that you and everyone else can see, that even with everything going on, we're still kids that are trying to figure out how to navigate through life." Sydney replied. "Anyway, Gustavo told us that you guys need to write a new song for the version you're putting out in Europe."
"Yeah," Kendall ran a hand through his hair. "He wants us to write it ourselves," he added, suddenly feeling anxious. "Like, completely by ourselves this time, and we haven't really started on it yet, we haven't had any ideas."
"Well, we could help you," Sydney offered. "It's easy to write your own songs once you get the hang of it, you just have to write about what you know and what you've experienced." He added helpfully.
"Thanks, Syd."
"It's what I'm here for."
When Kendall, Logan, Carlos, James, and Katie took Sydney to Blazing Phoenix Records later that night, they were all excited to see how their 'rivals' and 'co-workers' performed in the studio. It was one thing being a fan of someone, but it was another seeing how they worked up close. Carlos was a little nervous, though. He knew that Robert didn't like them to be around when his kids were working as they were a distraction, but he relaxed when Ronan explained that Robert was out for the evening and that they were fine to stay.
"Besides, if Riley invited you in, then you must have done something right." He added in a joking tone, motioning for their guests to sit on the couch on the control panel side of the recording studio. "But we're all glad to have you by."
"Where is everyone anyway?" Katie asked as she sat down. "Sydney ran off, like, as soon as we got here."
"He probably went to look for his brothers and sisters in the break room." Ronan replied with a wave of his hand, not bothered by it at all. "He really looks up to them, and because of the age difference between them all, he really likes to stay close with them." He stood up, holding onto a folder. "Now, do you want the grand tour or do you just want to see my office and the view?" He asked as he waved an arm, telling them to follow him. "I'm sure that Gustavo had bitched about it at some point."
"Once or twice." James said with a grin as he elbowed Kendall in the side.
"That's only because he doesn't like that Griffin has a better office than he does," Ronan explained as he walked down the corridor. "It's not far from the room that I usually work in, so that's a bonus." He said as he arrived at his door, where his name was marked on a plaque to the right of the door. He pulled out a key and unlocked the door, turning on the light as he did so. "Ta da." He said as he walked inside.
"Awesome view!" Katie cried as she hurried over to the window behind Ronan's desk. "Especially with all of the lights, since its dark out."
"That's my favorite time of day to look out," Ronan agreed as he set the folder down on his desk. He turned around and noticed that Kendall, Logan, Carlos, and James were looking at the Gold and Platinum records that lined the walls. "Don't worry guys; soon your CDs are going to be up all over Gustavo's office."
"I doubt it'll be in his office," James said as he shook his head. "That guy is so vain about his stuff that he'd probably just stick us in the bathroom."
"Look who's talking." Logan replied, joking around a little bit. He then turned his attention to the other pictures that were in the room. There was one of him and others that were obvious his family, from the different stages of him growing up. But he couldn't help but notice that a majority of them were of the DarkElements. "You have a lot of pictures." He stated.
"Yeah, my Mom thought it would be a good idea if I had lots of pictures around," Ronan said with a roll of his eyes. "To, and I quote, to prove that I'm a family man so I can settle down and start giving her grandkids." He laughed as he rolled up the sleeves on his button down shirt, loosening his tie.
"You don't seem the settle down type." Katie said frankly.
"Yes and No," Ronan shrugged. "I would like to have a family, but I'm not sure if stopping what I'm doing now is worth it to do that. I'd probably make a compromise."
"You have a lot of pictures of the Jacksons on your wall." Carlos blurted and then shrank in on himself defensively as Kendall, Logan, and James shushed him, hitting him on the arms and back of the head. "What? I was just saying."
"It's alright," Ronan reassured him. "They're pretty much the only band that I work with," Ronan explained as his eyes scanned the picture. "For right now anyway, like Gustavo is doing with you guys. They were the first band that I signed and they've been giving me so much success that I haven't thought of branching out yet, it's not the right time." He pointed to a picture of the five Jacksons when they were younger, all holding onto pens and leaning over a table, to get into frame. "That was the day that they first officially signed to my company."
"And this?" Kendall motioned to a picture of Ronan, the DarkElements, and whom he recognized as Julius, all grinning proudly as they sat on a couch. "What was this for?"
"That was the day that we heard that their first single, It's Been a Summer got to number one." Ronan replied.
"How did you know that you wanted to sign them?" James asked. He looked a bit insecure. If they were that successful with all of their hard work and were being recognized for it, he wondered if it were possible that he and his friends were going to get that big. He wanted to do everything that he set out to do, but he knew that life didn't work that way. He didn't want to have to crawl back to Minnesota and explain he, indeed, was a Big Time Loser.
"Well, I first heard them singing when I was at the mall getting lunch, back when I was twenty-five." Ronan started, crossing his arms over his chest. "And after hearing them sing, I talked to their dad, Robert, and he agreed to do a bit of a test-trial with me. So we did some demos, sent it out, got good feedback, and then I signed them. We started out doing heavy pop music and then changed to rock and that's where we are today." He then stood up straight. "My bad, I didn't answer your question. Well, they're hard workers, so that's a plus, but they all have an amazing vocal range although they each have their own talents. Riley has a really powerful voice, Rhuben can hold out a note longer than her siblings, Patrick can hit really high and really low notes when needed, Noah can pick up our pick out a melody very quickly, and Sydney can put a lot of emotion into his work."
"Wow, it's no wonder you guys are such a success." James said with a nod to his friends. "We know that you're going to do great here."
"And so are you guys," Ronan reassured him. "Listen, if there's anything that you guys ever need, even if you just want to talk about the pressures of this industry or whatever, you can talk to me." He turned to Katie. "That goes for you, too. I mean it, whatever you need; I'll be here to listen."
"Thanks Mr. McGuire." Carlos said with a grateful smile.
"Ronan, please." Ronan corrected him easily before looking at his watch. "We should be getting started, come on." They left the room and he closed and locked the door behind them before they headed back to the recording studio. He laughed when they walked into the room and noticed the DarkElements singing loudly to Ride Wit Me by Nelly as Riley and Patrick played it on acoustic guitars. "Looks like I just missed a good jam session." He said as he walked into the room.
"You always seem to." Rhuben replied and then reached out and lightly hit him on the arm, getting his attention. "So, guess what?"
"What?" Ronan asked as he sat down in his chair, rolling over to the sound board.
"I got an A- on my math test." Rhuben replied and then blushed a little as Ronan let out a sound of excitement. "I mean, Logan helped me study for it, but I think I finally understand it."
"Good for you, I know that it was a hard concept for you to grasp." Ronan turned and grabbed a few notepads off of the floor. "I'm proud of you." He added and then righted himself, turning to his clients. "Alright, do you want to get started on Too Close For Comfort?"
"Sure," Riley agreed with a nod. "But I want to talk to Logie-Bear first." She said and then chuckled as Logan winced at the nickname, causing Carlos to laugh loudly and start poking him in the sides.
"Riles-"Ronan started.
"Two seconds, I promise." She said and stood up and walked over to Logan, grabbing onto his arm and walking him to the corner of the room. "Listen, I just wanted to be sure that you didn't say anyt-"
"I didn't say anything," Logan interrupted, suddenly looking tired. "I would never, because I promised." He let out a pained sigh. "I don't know how much longer I can hold it in though. I mean, look at Syd, the whole side of his face is bruised."
"I'm aware of that," Riley said calmly, although her cheeks tinged a light red. "And that was a mistake that could have easily been avoided but we slip up." She gave a one-shouldered shrug. "It happens. But we do know what we're doing; you're just going to have to trust us."
"You know I do." Logan insisted.
"I know," Riley said with a nod. "And listen," she reached out and smiled softly as she ruffled Logan's hair. "Thanks for worrying about us so much. You're a great friend, you know?" Logan gave a small smile back and she leaned forward and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. "But we can handle it. And if you do tell, I'll kill you," She gave his arms a squeeze before heading into the studio with her siblings.
Logan walked back over to the couch and sat down heavily as if the weight of the world was on his shoulders.
"Are we working on harmonies or just working out the whole thing?" Sydney asked as they all grabbed their headphones and stood in a row, lyric sheets sitting on stands in front of them. Riley and Rhuben were standing on the ends of their line, then Patrick and Noah, and then in the middle was Sydney, who was standing on a small footstool to reach his microphone.
"Whole thing, all together," Ronan replied as he leaned forward and pushed the intercom button so he could hear them in the booth. "Then we'll go back later to work on your roles individually, alright?"
"Got it." The five voices replied.
Logan sat back and listened along with his friends as the backing track came in on the song, and the Jacksons waited for their cue to start singing. He was there, listening, but he wasn't completely concentrating on the song. Not when Patrick sang his verse, not when they did the chorus, not when Noah did his verse (although he did agree with his friends' whispers, it was amazing to know that a boy that talked so softly could sing so well), he knew that it was all very good. He hadn't heard a song of theirs that he hadn't likes, so far, but he couldn't help but think about what they were going to when they got home. Where they going to a father that was happy and in a good mood or would they go home to the monster that was going to hurt them like he seemed to do more often than any of them would have liked?
He didn't snap to attention until Sydney had started in on his own verse.
"All this time you've been telling me lies, hidden in bags that are under your eyes." He sang, doing what Ronan credited him for before, putting emotion into the song. As he sang, his moved his hand up to the swollen part of his face and lightly touched it, as if experiencing that moment in his head again. "And when I asked you I knew I was right."
Then it was Riley's turn, her eyes were hard and she looked like she was about to start crying. "But if you turn your back on me now, when I need you most, but you chose to let me down, down, down."
Rhuben came up last, holding her hands to the sides of her head, pushing the headphones closer over her ears as she sang. Her teeth were close to being gritted together. "Won't you think about what you're about to do to me and back down..." Logan's eyes moved over to Ronan. He was watching them, listening at the same time, moving different knobs and buttons on the sound panel every now and then. Logan then looked over at his friends, they looked impressed and a bit…Logan wasn't sure what the other emotion was, but it was there.
"Was I invading in on your secrets?" Sydney started up once more. "Was I too close for comfort? You're pushing me out, when I wanted in."
"What was I just about to discover?" Rhuben came in, using more power to her voice this time, her siblings coming in periodically. "I got too close for comfort; you're pushing me out, when I'm wanting in. Yeah yeah yeah."
They all then came together on the chorus of the song, "Was I invading in on your secrets? Was I too close for comfort? You're pushing me out, when I wanted in. What was I just about to discover? When I got too close for comfort, driving you home I guess I'll never know..." The Jacksons trailed off as the guitars and drums played their last note.
Kendall, Logan, Carlos, James, and Katie clapped as the song ended and the Jacksons backed away from their microphones, moving their headphones off of their ears as they talked quietly to each other and got some water. Rhuben was saying something to them as she picked up her lyric sheet and pointed to it, causing her siblings to crowd around her. Logan slowly stopped clapping, everything coming into focus. He knew that song was about him, part of it was. He just knew it. The words about telling the secret, something that was going to be discovered. There was no way that it wasn't about him. It showed that they were still scared that he was going to say something.
"Uh, Ronan?" Logan asked, grabbing the older man's attention.
Ronan turned around in his chair, his green eyes trained on Logan, silently asking what he needed. Logan looked back at him, Ronan's words echoing through his head. He could tell that Ronan really meant what he said; when he said that the boys could come talk to him when he needed it. But was it worth it? He looked over at Riley and Rhuben and through about their situation. If he told someone, he wouldn't only be losing two of his best friends; one would never speak to him again, another threatened bodily harm, and then he could potentially be the one that split their family up. He didn't know if he could live with that guilt. Logan didn't have to turn around to know that Kendall, James, Carlos, and Katie were watching his back, wondering what it was that he had to say.
Did they guess what he was going to say as well?
He wasn't sure, and he wasn't going to risk it.
"Never mind," Logan sighed and shook his head. "It's nothing." He turned to go back to his seat and he caught Sydney's eye. Sydney looked at him, without blinking, looking a little sad. But then he looked away when Patrick said something to him, pointing to his lyric sheet. Logan went back to his seat and put his face in his hands, feeling sick.
"Hey, Logie, are you ok?" Kendall asked, lightly resting his hand on Logan's shoulder.
"I'm fine." Logan managed to choke out. I'm stuck between letting my friends get hurt even more or sitting back and letting them handle it. Other than that, I'm freaking fine.
"Ok, now let's work on Somewhere I Belong and leave Too Close for Comfort behind for a bit. You guys have been working on that one for a while now and I still think that you need to tighten up towards the end." Ronan said as he shifted a few papers in front of him. He picked up a pen and started to write down on a notepad. "Riles, at your point of the song, you go a little flat at the end, I know that it sounds like it should go that way, but you need to be spot on. Other than that, you did great." Riley nodded as she adjusted her headphones. "Rhu, you came in a bit too early, the emotion you put into it was amazing, like usual." Rhuben smiled, obviously pleased at the praise. "Patrick, you might want to start taking care of your voice, because I heard it crack at some points." Patrick merely shrugged. "Noah, you need to start a bit deeper at the beginning and then build you way up, and Syd, you need to be a bit quieter on your second part if you want the point to come across there."
Ronan pushed that notepad away and grabbed another one. "Other than that, all of you guys did great on the song; we might have to do a few more takes of it." He tapped his pen against the pad. "Now, for Somewhere I Belong, what's the thought behind it?" He turned to the boys and Katie to explain. "We write down the thoughts for each song as we record them, so the ones that we decided to use as a single or on the CD, we can put the idea in the album booklet. That way we'll have it ahead of time and not scramble for it later."
They all nodded. It made sense the way that he put it. They could see how the DarkElements were so successful, they got criticism and praise and helped Ronan out with his job, they weren't yelled at, at all. They were dealed with patiently.
"Basically what every teenage, or kid goes through," Patrick said, his headphones around his neck. He took a sip of water before re-capping it and putting it down on the floor. "Looking for that one thing that you're good at, being told that you're not worth anything and looking for where you belong in life."
"Got it." Ronan replied with a nod.
Logan watched him for a few moments; he didn't write at first, he was obviously thinking about something. He then let out a breath and started to write on the notepad before he lifted his head and started to move a few knobs on the mother board. He knew that Ronan knew something that he wasn't saying.
"Hey Ronan, do you guys usually do it where you record vocals and music at the same time?" James asked, stretching his legs and crossing them. "Or do you do it at the same time?"
"It really depends on the sound that we want and how authentic it should sound," Ronan replied as he turned in his seat, patiently. "For example, some songs that they've done, at the end if you turn up the volume, you can hear them laughing or talking about something random at the end. I decided to leave it there because you can tell who they really are as a person through their music and through them at the end."
"What about for this song?" Kendall asked.
"For this one, we decided to do it separately," Ronan replied. "Since it's a heavier…darker song, it's better to get their emotion through it, rather than have it drowned out by their instruments."
"When this began," Sydney started off the song.
"I had nothing to say and I get lost in the nothingness inside of me." Patrick came in, putting his face close to the shield over the microphone. His face was set in intense concentration as he looked down at the lyric sheet in front of him.
"I was confused," Riley sang next.
"And I let it all out to find that I'm not the only person with these things in mind
"Inside of me." Rhuben came in next.
"But all that they can see the words revealed is the only real thing that I've got left to feel."
"Nothing to lose." Riley, Rhuben, and Sydney came together.
"Just stuck, hollow and alone, and the fault is my own, and the fault is my own." Patrick thumped his chest a few times, getting in on the song as the chorus came up. He looked out at his friends as they watched; obviously enamored with being able to watch them record.
"I wanna heal, I wanna feel what I thought was never real. I wanna let go of the pain I've felt so long."
"Erase all the pain till it's gone." Patrick quickly switched from singing the chorus to half-sing, half-speak the on line.
"I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I'm close to something real. I wanna find something I've wanted all along; Somewhere I belong."
"And I've got nothing to say, I can't believe I didn't fall right down on my face." Noah sang, taking over Patrick's rapping part as Sydney, Riley, and Rhuben interjected with their own lines, much like the first verse. "(I was confused). Looking everywhere only to find that it's not the way I had imagined it all in my mind. (So what am I). What do I have but negativity, 'cause I can't justify the way, everyone is looking at me. (Nothing to lose). Nothing to gain, hollow and alone, and the fault is my own, and the fault is my own."
"I wanna heal, I wanna feel what I thought was never real. I wanna let go of the pain I've felt so long. Erase all the pain till it's gone. I wanna heal; I wanna feel like I'm close to something real. I wanna find something I've wanted all along; Somewhere I belong."
"I will never know myself until I do this on my own, and I will never feel anything else, until my wounds are healed. I will never be anything till I break away from me. I will break away, I'll find myself today." Riley, Rhuben, and Sydney sang, all closing their eyes and using as much effort and emotion as they could as the song
"I wanna heal, I wanna feel what I thought was never real. I wanna let go of the pain I've felt so long. Erase all the pain till it's gone. I wanna heal; I wanna feel like I'm close to something real. I wanna find something I've wanted all along; Somewhere I belong. I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I'm somewhere I belong. I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I'm somewhere I belong. Somewhere I belong."
Kendall suddenly had an epiphany as Ronan pushed a button on the switchboard and started to talk to his band again. James, Carlos, and Katie chattered to each other about the song that they had just heard; Logan was unusually quiet. He looked a little green, actually. Kendall hardly noticed as Ronan motioned for the guys and Katie to go into the recording area as well, to talk to the band and to see how everything was set up. He said that they're well known for doing songs about things that people can relate to or things that they have felt or experienced. Is that for every one of their songs or just these? Kendall reached out and grabbed onto his sister's shoulder, stopping her from entering the recording area.
"Katie?" Kendall leaned towards his sister and motioned for her to do the same, speaking quietly so he didn't disturb Ronan or the others while they were at work. "Do you still have their CDs back at the apartment?" He asked.
"Yeah," Katie nodded. "I was planning on ordering more copies, so they could sign them and I could make some big bucks off of it." Her mischievous grin faded when she noticed how serious her brother was. He never really got that serious, he always joked with her about the fact that she was going to take over LA one day, but now, he was just quiet. She knew that something was bothering him. "What's wrong?"
"I need to borrow them." Kendall said after a minute. "I just want to check something."
A/N: This one was a very long chapter, but I hope that you guys liked it. I'm on Fall Break tomorrow, so I'm gonna update my SLOD story and I might upload my new Kiley fic, Someone Like You as well, but I haven't decided yet.
For those of you that want to see the pictures I was talking about, go here: imageshack . us /g/1/ 9784566/ without the spaces. Of course they're not exactly what DE looks like (you can tell that the eye/hair color aren't the same) but it's the poses and stuff I want you to think about while looking at it.
Thanks for reading!
Cheers,
-Riles