Alright, about halfway through this chapter this will turn into a Songfic-chapter...it's not my song...I don't own it...I don't own who does... (you'll have to read to figure out the song)...(chuckle) I was listening to it on my computer as I was typing, so the song is kinda in the chapter before I get to the song...I do that a lot...(etacarina41 and spacecoastchick know what I'm talkin about!) And, the scene changes in this chapter will be different...it's only gonna be between Nick and Riley (wherever they happen to be, trust me it's not really important) but the scene change will be sown with just a simple dashed line...okay...I think that's it...
Chapter 25
(One week later...which, if this was in reality, would be my birthday... lol, little shout out to Kit! Remember that night Kit? Okay...on with the book...)
"Deven...what the Hell was that?"
"That was sex Riley..."
She sighed and rolled on her side to face him. "Deven...we can't keep doing this...the first time was just a fluke...then a few days after that...that was just..." She sighed and shook her head. "And then every time after that...Deven we have to stop. We can't do this anymore..."
"Why not?" He asked simply and turned to face her, mimicking her position by propping himself up on his elbow.
She sighed. "Cause it's not fair...to me or you."
"Riley..." Deven started but stopped to light up a cigarette. She watched the cigarette wanting-ly and plucked it from his mouth and replaced it in her own. "I thought you and Kiersten quit together...what's up?"
She sighed and inhaled the smoke deeply. "We were supposed to quit sleeping together too...things fuck up."
"You're making this sound like we're having an affair." She sighed and didn't reply and Deven looked away. "This isn't an affair...no one's cheating."
"I'm cheating..." She replied and gestured to her cigarette. "I'm cheating on my plan to quit..."
Deven sighed. "That's not the same thing."
"Oh no?" She asked and Deven shook his head. She shrugged bitterly. "I only do them both when I'm with you...I have to sneak around to do it...I can't tell Kiersten anything. I hate lying to her Deven...I hate having this as a dirty little secret." She professed and Deven rolled back over to face the ceiling. He stayed like that for a moment before rolling out of the hotel bed and walking over to the mini refrigerator to grab two bottles of water. He sat back on the bed and handed one to Riley.
"So let's tell them."
Riley choked on her water and looked at him in shock. "No! Deven...we can't." She said and Deven seemed to deflate and he looked away. She sighed and scooted over to lay a hand on his arm. "Do you really wanna deal with the shit they'd give us for foolin around...? Casual or not."
"So...is this casual?"
She sighed. "Deven...this isn't anything. It cant be."
"What if it is?" He asked finally looking back at her seriously. She looked at him blankly for a moment then shook her head to the side slightly, her blue eyes never leaving his darker blue ones.
"It isn't."
"Why are you so scared of 'us' Riley...of 'this'?"
She narrowed her gaze and chuckled dryly. "Do you really want a recap of last time there was an 'us'?"
Deven looked down at his fingers absently and sighed. "I said I was sorry."
"Sorry doesn't bring trust."
He looked at her hurt for a moment before looking back down. "You really can't move past that?"
"I think we established that a while ago."
"This isn't about what we were...is it?" It was her turn to look away. "You miss him." He accused softly and she whipped her head back to him to glare. "So why are you here with me if he's the one you want to be with so badly?" He asked just as softly as before, but with more snide in his voice. She narrowed her gaze again and looked away. "...Because he restricted you."
"What's that supposed to mean?" She snapped.
"He tried to put a label on the two of you..."
"Fuck you." She replied in a dangerously low voice and got out of the bed. She stalked over to the chair to snatch up the signature maroon and gold silk hotel bathrobe and stormed into the bathroom. She slammed the door behind her and placed her palms face down on the ivory marble counter surrounding the sink and leaned onto it to steady herself and control her anger. She mentally counted backwards from ten and released a deep breath.
Her lip started to quiver and she looked into the mirror at her reflection...all she saw looking back at her was Nick. She crumbled to her knees and sobbed. Loud, heart wrenching sobs that were sure to piss off the neighbors next to them. She curled up against the cabinets below the counter and wrapped her arms around her knees.
...This was the first time she had cried about missing Nick...she had cried about what she and Deven had done, and silly things, but never yet about missing Nick. It hurt...crying was supposed to be a relief of emotions...this just made it hurt worse. Like she was admitting that she missed him.
The tears continued to flow and she wished she had said that she loved him back...she might not have been there...Hell, she still wasn't there. But at least then she would be with him...he'd be lying in the bed waiting for her instead of the man who broke her heart.
She wasn't mad at Deven...she was angry that she had been confronted with the fact of 'labels'...Nick had scared her with that nasty four letter word. Him wanting to label the relationship as being in love scared her...when you're in love, you get hurt.
Fuck...Paige was right...
She thought and continued to cry. Two protective arms wrapped around her and lifted her off the floor and carried her back to the bed. Deven held her and rocked her as she cried, whispering he was sorry the entire time. "I'm sorry Honey...I'm so sorry." He apologized.
Whether he was sorry for making her cry, for bringing up the past, or the fact Nick had scared her off with the 'L' word she didn't know...she didn't much care.
Apologies were just words...the fact that he was holding her and rocking her, and showing her that he was sorry meant a lot more than any damn words he could have said. "Please don't cry Riley...please don't cry." He begged and whipped away the tears with his thumbs. She curled up into the fetal position on the bed, facing away from him. He laid down behind her and held her close to him. She eventually turned and curled up into his chest, covering her face with her hand.
It was like the flood gates had been opened and they couldn't be shut. Every tear that she'd kept bottled up since it happened seemed to be released when she began crying that night. The phase of the painful tears; the ones that sting your eyes, burn your cheeks, make your mouth dry, and cause pain to your throat came upon her and she hung her head as she let herself sob.
The sounds of rain beating against the window caught her attention and she held up her head and looked over Deven's broad form to the window, the ivory curtains illuminating a pale, moon-ish light in the dark room. Deven had rolled onto his back, and brought her stretched out body half on his, half on the bed. She placed her hand flat on his chest and laid her head right behind it as the tears continued to flow silently and still from her body. She watched as the rain fluttered against the window and drenched the city outside her glass barrier.
Deven's hands ran up and down her back comfortingly and she closed her eyes and sighed, the tears still flowing. She was beginning to worry about becoming dehydrated and, as if he was reading her mind, Deven handed her the water bottle and helped her drink it. She sighed and laid back down on his chest and continued watching the rain, remembering when she and Nick had laid like this once...watching the rain pour against the house, creating a unique, natural, romantic glow on the house.
Riley closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, and slowly opened them again. Deven squeezed her tighter and she dragged her gaze to the small radio playing in the background. It was Nickleback's Far Away. She remembered the song from somewhere...it sounded familiar...
This time, This place
Misused, Mistakes
Too long, Too late
Who was I to make you wait
Just one chance
Just one breath
Just in case there's just one left
'Cause you know,
you know, you know...
She began a fresh batch of tears and listened to the song as she continued to cry about the one she lost...
That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you'll be with me
and you'll never go
Stop breathing if
I don't see you anymore
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Nick sighed and looked out the window of his bedroom from his empty bed. The rain was coming down harder...the lights had all gone out, yet the blanket over Viva Las Vegas hadn't been classified as a storm...all it was, was rain...simply rain.
On my knees, I'll ask
Last chance for one last dance
'Cause with you, I'd withstand
All of hell to hold your hand
I'd give it all
I'd give for us
Give anything but I won't give up
'Cause you know,
you know, you know
That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you'll be with me
and you'll never go
Stop breathing if
I don't see you anymore
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Riley rolled off of Deven's sleeping form and walked over to the window, pushing the practically see through ivory curtains away to look out on the city of Las Vegas...
So far away So far away
Been far away for far too long
------------------------------------------
He pushed the curtains Riley had picked out away from his window and looked out on the (for once) sleepy city in envy...they weren't alone...they weren't missing somebody...
So far away So far away
Been far away for far too long
But you know, you know, you know
I wanted
I wanted you to stay
'Cause I needed
I need to hear you say...
He missed her...he loved her...and he wouldn't ever be able to tell her that agian.
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She began to cry harder as she pressed her forehead against the glass window and let the cold window send shivers through her body...the rain traced along her palm from the other side of the glass as she opened her blue eyes and looked out the window once more. The feeling of no longer being alone compelled her to take in a deep breath...she felt like she was almost looking in his eyes...
That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I forgive you
For being away for far too long
So keep breathing
'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore
Believe it
Hold on to me and, never let me go
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He looked out the window and gripped the green curtains in his strong, long fingers and bit his lower lip confused. He felt like he could see her...like she was watching him...somewhere out there she was watching...
Keep breathing
'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore
Believe it
Hold on to me and, never let me go
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Riley put her hand to her face to cover the tears that were falling. The rain continued to beat down as she came to the conclusion that she had to be with Nick...she had to be with Nick or else she couldn't 'be' at all.
Keep breathing
Hold on to me and, never let me go
---------------------------------
Keep breathing
Hold on to me and, never let me go
The song from Nick's radio came to an end and Nick furred his brow and turned around. "...When did I turn the radio on?"
--End of Chapter...OOOOHH! Wasn't that cool!--
Quick! Review and let me know how much you loved/hated that little Songfic angsty/drama angle I had goin on...!
(I'd like to give a big thank you to Country/Rock stars everywhere, cause without your angsty heart wrenching love/sadness songs I could NEVER come up with depressing/happy chapters...) XD
-Futuremisscsi60