Author's Note: Hi there, I'm really sorry for the long wait. I've had trouble with this chapter that I had to completely scrap and redo it again. Still it's finished and Glaizer Blue and I like out it turned out. So please Enjoy.

Chapter 25: Fearful

For an undetermined amount of time the brothers wouldn't say or do anything accept hold tightly onto their genius in fear of ruining the moment. The clan was whole once again and no one wanted it to end until the inconvenient need to breathe rudely interrupted their reunion. The embrace hadn't been long enough for the brothers to express how much they had missed him, but at least they seemed satisfied enough that this wasn't some cruel joke or a dream that had come to haunt them. Slowly they backed away as they watched Donnie embrace his father.

The joy of seeing his son home and alive had returned the most life Splinter had felt in months. Slowly his furry hand reached out and touched the olive-green turtle un-bandaged part of his face As though to confirm and re-confirm that fate had somehow returned Donatello to them, even from across the star's. He didn't care if his sons saw the tears falling, his heart was swelling with joy.

"Welcome home... my son." The rat sobbed.

Don couldn't help but shed a tear of his own as he quickly reached up for the hand caressing his cheek. It wasn't until this moment had Donnie realized how much he had missed him. The contact on the spirit plain didn't even compare... Just something as simple as a touch was like a rain shower of all the comfort Donnie had yearned for while locked in that cell.

"I'm so happy to be home father." For a moment Donnie even wondered how he could have questioned the choice about returning... but that just reminded him of all the reasons why. Even now he could see his father's smile disappear as he confessed to his dark secrets. The tears of joy turn into tears of shame and sorrow... No! He didn't want to see that... He had to draw back. He couldn't let them see his pain. Donatello wasn't a cold person by nature, but while inside he had successfully designed a protective mental shield around himself, and it looked like he was going to have to use it again.

Unaware of their long-lost brother's dilemma Mikey clapped a hand onto his shoulder. The huge smile plastered across the younger brother's face didn't hide the concern in his eyes. "Dude, like what happened, we thought you were a prisoner of the Triceratons!? How did you escape?" As normal Mikey been the first to ask the obvious question that everyone was thinking. "Oh, let me guess what was going on in that big brain of yours? You came up with some genius plan that had all the Prime Leader's body guards running about in circles chasing each other while you slipped out unnoticed, grabbed a ship and flew all the way back here... I bet they haven't even noticed that your gone yet?" He said with glee.

"Not exactly... They most certainly noticed." Donnie quickly tried to brush off the horrible images of the body piles in his mind. Hopefully they hadn't noticed Don drop a shade as he said that.

But before Don could say anymore his big brother Raph stepped forward. "Is that why we never heard from you again in the spirit plain? We like waited around the clock to hear from you? We were beginning to think that..." He stopped himself from finishing that last part, but he couldn't hide the slight irritation in his tone fed by the night after night of worrying. "What happened?" Obviously, the shock had worn off enough for them to inundate him with questions.

Questions Donnie really didn't want to answer, at least right now. Not that he was getting much of a chance too. Raph cut himself off when he noticed the bandage on his brother's face. His brow creased with concern. "What happened to ya face bro? Those Dino breaths do that?" He automatically went to touch it but Donnie quickly took a deliberate step back before he could reach. The look of uneasiness in his expression was enough to make Raph pause his advance's, but Donnie knew right away he had made his first mistake. Trying to hide something from his red clad brother only made him more hell bent on knowing what it was. The look in all his brothers eyes said the same. If they got a close enough look at his injuries now, they would want to know how he got each of them. In no time at all they would have the truth out of him.

"It's nothing really." Was all Don could manage with an awkward smile.

"But how did you get back here?"

"Is the Prime Leader still after Honey Cutt?"

"Is the war between the Federation and them still going on?"

"What about the Rebellion?"

"Are they going to invade earth again?"

Don's shoulders stiffened a little, which told the brother's at least one thing they wanted to know, that it wasn't all good news. on had been expecting this, but still it was all going by too fast for him. He could feel the fear slowly returning as Raph looked like he was about to reach out for his bandage again when Leo stepped in deflecting him. "Guys slow it down. Give him a moment will you."

"Thanks Leo." Don thought gratefully.

"I'm sure Don is going to tell us everything that happened." The leader looked at him expectantly topped off with his normal amount of 3 to 4 turns of worry.

"Thanks not so much!" Don chocked on a sarcastic laugh. Obviously, they were not going to take a hint and leave him alone long enough for him to drag his thoughts together properly. "Uh…well it's a very long story." He said awkwardly, flinching away again as his brothers made another step towards him. It was just for comfort, but the turtle was suddenly feeling rather cornered. "And it's been a really long trip and - Guys I DON'T want to talk about this right now ok!" Don mentally kicked himself for almost snapping. He had been going for reassuring. Whether this was enough for them to take the hint or just send up another red flag he wasn't sure... Thankfully his father's saving grace swept in between them first.

"I think what your brother is trying to say is that he is tired and needs some rest first." Splinter been the only one to pick up on the smart turtle's growing discomfort. The rat master could practically see the walls around his third youngest being built at an alarming rate. He knew his three son's intentions were good and of course they were all curious, but maybe now wasn't the time for an interrogation.

Donatello looked positively exhausted... among many other things. The marks around his body, his mask and knee and arm pads torn and tatty... The dramatic increase in his muscles were definitely a story he would VERY much like to hear. But more than that he saw pain! there was so much pain in his son's eye's like he had never seen before...He himself had felt some echoes of what Donatello had been going through and decided on this rare occasion that the direct approach was not going to be the way to go. No. This had to be handled delicately. "Please respect your brother if he doesn't want to share at this moment in time. It is late after all and we can all hear of your brother's adventures later."

Disappointment reigned supreme on the brothers but they all bowed respectfully non the less. "Yes Sensei."

"O-Of course. You should rest Donnie. Will talk later." Leo quickly agreed.

"Ya sorry about that. You just traveled across space, you deserve a break." Raph rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly.

"Sorry for the 20 questions bro. Just really happy to have you home." Mikey smiled resisting the urge to hug him again. "Hey, I bet you've missed earth food? When you're up tomorrow I'll make you the best breakfast. I'll get out the special pan's and everything.

Don relaxed mentally thanking his father's impeccable timing. "Thanks Mikey. I won't lie, it's your cooking I have missed most of all... But right now, all I want to see is my bed. Haven't been in a proper one for months," He trailed off looking longingly up the stairs.

"Then you must go and rest." His father softly pushing his shoulder toward the direction of his room. He thought a moment. "I trust you are well my son? Do you require any medical attention?"

"No, I have already had medical treatment thank you father. My recovery is coming on fine." Donnie bowed.

"Then you should continue your recovery my son. I do not wish to see you in the dojo anytime soon." The rat quickly gestured for his son to head up stairs. "Please seek one of us if you need anything."

Donnie nodded grateful for the temporary window of escape and made to get out of there before his heart exploded. He felt tremendously bad about not been honest with them. Here they had all been watching, waiting and worrying for months not knowing whether he was dead or alive and he couldn't even bring himself to give them part of an explanation as to why... well maybe later on he could tell them about the prison breakout... Hopefully they wouldn't ask how he had managed to convince people to follow him... or the outcome of it... or what he had done after... or during! Shell this was not going to be easy. He couldn't lie... he could never lie to his brothers, but how was he meant to dance around this subject? Oh later! ... He had lost his thinking power... he would deal with this later.

"Good night my son." The happy voice of his father brought him back for one more moment from the staircase, but as he turned he caught the glance of his brothers exchanging a worried look between them. Donnie was known to be an introvert, but he was as honest as he was green and the knowledge of him needing medical attention and recover time was somewhat worrying if he didn't want even to talk about it? What had he had to endure?

Donnie nodded one last time before anyone else could say anything and made his way up stairs.

"Uh Don…do you need us-" Leo was about to ask if his brother needed any of them to stay with him for his first night back. Although it was a good one, this was not how he had pictured there first reunion with Donnie, he was... different. But his smart brother waved his hand dismissively before he could even finish his question.

"No, I'll be fine by myself thanks." He said rather nonchalantly without slowing his pace. Really, he just wanted to find a small dark hole to climb into and stay there... maybe forever.

"Ok... that was odd." Raph added once his brother was out of site.

"It's hardly surprising Raph... At least he's home... He... he just needs some time to settle back on earth." Leo reassured but it sounded like he was trying to convince himself more.

When silence enveloped the room, everyone took it as their cue to return to bed, much happier if not a little more confused than before, but happier none the less.

…

Don was expecting to feel something, anything when he opens the door revealing the room he hadn't seen for so long. A flick of a switch illuminated a perfect layer of dust that had accumulated over a long period of time... but everything else was exactly the same. Nothing broken... nothing touched. It was just how he left it. Well that was nice he guessed, that his brothers never gave up hope on seeing him again.

He expected to choke up a little at that but he didn't. The rush of nostalgic feeling's he had been looking forward to upon seeing his sanctuary instead only brought a feeling of emptiness with a ghostly familiarity about it. Like he had just entered an old 'acquaintance's' room that he hadn't seen or spoke to in years. As he looked around, it just didn't feel like his room... It was the same feeling he had had back down stairs when he had first entered the lair and he was still waiting for those deep pining emotions of home to welcome him... but they didn't seem to be coming... And the happiness he had felt seeing his brothers and father had to be locked away in a box, at least until he was ready to face the shame of what he had done... Everything else just felt so weird for the purple clad turtle being back at the place he once called home.

Disregarding his bo-staff, he went over to his table. His computer sat there, powered down waiting for him. Every thought in his head was on here. Every idea and invention he had ever had... this laptop was his old friend. If anything should make him feel at home, this should. Inhaling Donnie blew a gust of air across the keyboard and monitor, dust particles blew up into his eyes. His hand's quivered a little as he reached for the buttons only to freeze a moment later. A troubling thought had just come to him... he didn't even remember the password to his own computer. That was strange... He should know this... he never forgot anything, and nothing as important as this... Donnie brow creased as he sat back curiously looking at the computer like he had never seen it before.

"Well I have been gone for half a year?" He told himself while rubbing his face. Trying to wrap his head around everything that had happened and the lack of emotion coming with it was disturbing him. "Maybe…maybe I'm just tired…. yeah that's it. Lag from riding in that ship."

Turning towards his bed, he blinked in surprise to see that the sheets were clean... Had... had someone been changing the bed just in case he came home? … Mikey of course. He half smiled. Apart from the hospital, the turtle couldn't remember the last time he slept in a bed... even before he was taken prisoner he'd always stay up late working on his inventions. But the bed seemed to be rather appealing right now as sleep was calling to him.

But before he even made it to the bed his mirror across the room stopped him. Twisting his head to look at his unfamiliar reflection. It made him change his direction and lock eyes with himself. He didn't know this turtle with the sickly lighter skin. Darker eyes, scruffy clothing and bigger muscles, but it was the bandage on his face that bothered him the most. One tiny bit of fabric was all that was covering up the reminder of his shame. The mark of his slavery would always be right there mocking him. But the scar ran much deeper than that. It was reminding him of what he had become. A shaky hand reached up and peeled it off, revealing three healed pink colored slashes. The Prime Leaders words ringing in his head.

"Whenever you look at yourself in the mirror, you'll see my mark…you'll always be 'my' slave. No matter what you do now for the rest of your pathetic life…" Zandramon's face... on top of him. Leering at him... Laughing at him... and in a way what he said was true.

Donnie gasped as he tried to push the images out of his head. It may have been all over, but the memories didn't seem ready to let Donnie go... which meant he couldn't let his guard down... If the ex-Prime Leader was ever going to make the mistake of following him here, he would be ready. He would never be taken or let his brothers be taken not now, not ever! The turtle placed the bandage back on his face. Instead he took off his mask and protective gear. All his time in prison, these were all he had had of his own, like a second skin... but now he never wanted to see them again. As though it was his clothing that had absorbed all the bad memories, he resentfully tossed them into the trash-can before flicking the switch and practically falling into bed. Instantly he felt his body crashing. His muscles shaking with the relief of been able to lay down without the fear of been drugged, assaulted or pinned down. Pulling the cold blanket tight around him and hugging the pillow trying to enjoy the comfort and ignoring the feeling of humiliation crushing him... but he wouldn't cry. No! Even now safe at home he wouldn't give the Prime Leader the gratification of hurting him anymore than he already had.

"Donnie... Bro you still awake?" The soft voice of his youngest brother suddenly reached out to him across the darkness of his room. Mikey was at his door tapping lightly.

"He's tired Mikey let him rest." Leo's voice passed by. Some low grumbling followed. His brothers were arguing whether or not to obey Master Splinter and leave him be... They wanted to see him, to know that he really was alright. Don however just tightly closed his eyes, yanking the blanket up over his head as though to shield himself from them. He couldn't let them in... he couldn't open up. No! He had to deal with the danger of the Prime Leader first. This was his burden to bare not theirs'.

Soon he heard the shuffling of feet heading away from his door indicating that his brothers had begrudgingly accepted defeat, at least for tonight and Donnie breathed a sigh of relief before falling into an exhausted sleep.

….

Regardless of the emotional night, everyone had still got up for practice. It was now just before lunch. The tea kettle whistled as the steam shot out of the spout. A leaf green hand reached to take it off of the hot stove before silently filling a few cups with the scolding water on top of the herbal leaves until the strong scent filled his nose. Leo then placed the cups on a tray. Silently he carried them over toward the table where his family waited for him, minus one.

"Ok just to confirm because I was pretty tired last night, I wasn't dreaming, was I? Donnie really did just walk back into the lair?" Raph been the first to break the silence. His tone may have been sarcastic but he really was asking. His brother return didn't at all seem real and Donnie's lack of explanation hadn't at all helped much. They weren't at all surprised by his distant manner, but they would be lying if they said that they weren't concerned about it.

"He did... but yeah I know what you mean." Mikey made a noise of agreement re-joined his family at the table, but he couldn't help but be bright. Donnie was home. He was alive and home. Everything else could be handled with some time. He would talk to his purple clad brother later, make sure that he felt welcomed back. Forever the optimist Mikey was confident that eventually Donnie would settle and things would go back to normal. Leo and Raph however didn't seem to be sharing his positive attitude, but it was always the big brothers job to be the pessimistic of the group.

"I checked on Don. He's still sleeping." Leo nodded handing out the cups of tea.

"Ya I guess you can get pretty bad jet lag from space travel." Raph confirmed. "I'm just glad he got through whatever those blasted Dino's did to him." He spat with a great deal of resentment. The thought of his little brother been tortured had at time's been too much for him to bare. "Those monsters!"

"We were all in the prison for a time... We know how bad it was in there... Am just glad they didn't put him in the games again." Leo jumping into the conversation with conviction. "He did good to get out of all that."

"Then why won't he blooming talk about it? The hot head snapped. "Normally ya can't get Don to shut up when he's telling us about how his plan's work out?" Raph said begrudgingly. The hot head never thought he would miss how his genius brother use to yap in fast technical but brilliant language he couldn't understand.

"He couldn't high tail it out of here fast enough when the questions started." Mikey said as though Donnie had done him out of a big treat. "Didn't you see how much he's bulked up though? He's positively buff!"

"That's the effect of hard labor that is." Raph added bitterly. "It's those marks around his arms that bothers me... and what's up with the bandage on his face? For a second he looked at me like I was about to beat him up or something?!"

"But he got away so they couldn't have hurt him to badly... right?" Mikey frowned but no one answered him.

Splinter had been sitting quietly listening to his son's concerns while drinking the tea. He now cleared his throat getting all their attentions. "Your brother has survived through a hardship these months. We must be patient. It is best we let him recuperate in his own time so he may recover his strength." He reassured them. Voicing his own concerns at this stage would just be adding more fuel to the fire. "I know you all are happy to see your brother, but I must advise that you leave him be if he asks." He gave all his son's a rather pointed look at that.

The turtles at the table offered the customary 'Yes Sensei' in response, all of them unwilling to raise an argument about their brother... even if it did go against their gut feelings. They knew more was going on, they had figured that much out from those times he had contacted them on the spirit plain, and then had stopped so abruptly.

"Hey, do you think we should call April and Casey? They would be happy to know he's back!" Mikey stood up excitedly. He knew April particularly would be happy to know that Donnie had found his way home. As it had been her Don had been rescuing that got him captured in the first place, the young red head had blamed herself and spent a lot of night sobbing into Casey's arms about it.

"Yeah call her." Leo nodded solemnly. "But tell her that he's still resting. They can come visit in a few days." He instructed.

…...

Donnie didn't know how late it was when he woke up and he didn't much care. It was the first decent night sleep he had had in a long time... He was so rested in fact that he had completely forgotten everything and actually jumped with a yelp when he saw that he was in his own bed. Heavy breathing, it took a few more moments to recall the night before. It wasn't a dream or even the spirit plain, he was finally home among his family... It was a strange fact... so strange he still felt dispatched from it.

Yawning the turtle first went to his chest to retrieve a new mask and gear before making his way down stairs. Everything seemed to be at a stand-still at the moment. All he wanted right now was the mother of all showers, then he would go find Mikey, keen to be reintroduced to his superb cooking skills.

Donnie was sure that if he just went through the motions, he would soon start to feel his place here again and these estranged feelings in his mind would soon dissipate... hopefully.

No longer on a forced schedule, Donnie felt a twinge of excitement of how he was going to occupy his mind today... Well that was obvious. He would go to his lab and start doing an inventory of all the weapons he had built. They would all need up grading. Bigger, much bigger fire power was needed if his enemies would come seeking him. Yes! Yes, he had time to start... just in case... even if it all came to nothing, at least he had a goal... to protect, he had to protect them!

"Donnie, you're up!' a sudden voice took the purple clad turtle by surprise. Then two arms wrapped around him in a hug from behind.

Donatello's eyes widen, his breathing hitched, body locking solid. He was back in the prison. The other inmates would grab and tackle him from behind. His head forced to the ground as he was kicked and punched repeatedly. The harsh and cold sound of laughing... The body guards coming into his cell every night, forcing him to the floor before they -! Donnie gasped in fright and his blood still felt like it had ice running through it by the time it caught up with his brain.

Without a second thought, or even a first one at that, Donnie automatically clench his hands into fists before slamming his elbows back, hard. The sharp contact instantly loosened the grip around him. A small cry of pain rang out as Don then grabbed the arm and swiftly flicked his assailant over his shoulder roughly onto the ground with a thud. His teeth clenched as he released a warning growl towards his attacker, twisting his arm up his back, swiftly turning them onto their belly. He dares not loosen his grip but instead applied more pressure.

"OW! DON! OW! Don it's me!" Mikey cried out in pain.

Don gasped as he suddenly recognized the voice. The prison vanished and he found himself standing over his little brother, twisting his arm behind his shell. If he applied anymore pressure he would break his arm! A cold dread poured over the purple clad turtle and he sprung away like a ball in a pinball machine when he got his wits back, stuttering an apology.

"M-Mikey…Mikey? Oh gosh ... I'm so sorry!"

"Dude!" Mikey looked up at him from the floor, wincing as he tried to move his arm. "What the shell!?" Mikey wasn't usually one to be rendered speechless but the display of hostility just then was nothing less than shocking.

"I…I…Mikey…it's…I…" Don was at a loss for words, he had no idea what to say to explain his actions. He wasn't even sure himself. He just attacked his baby brother and nearly broke his arm, and he did it on reflex. "You made me jump... I... am... am so sorry." Was all he said while he contemplated an explanation. He opened his mouth, stopped, closed it, then opened it again to speak. Nope, that was all he had... and he couldn't take the look of confusion mixed in with a bit of fear on his brother's face... So instead he turned around and quickly walked away.

"D-Don wait!" Mikey called after him trying to get up from the floor, but Donnie couldn't listen. Instead he made his way to the bathroom, locking the door behind him. He didn't think when he just turned the shower at full force or even check the temperature before getting in. Not even bothering to take off his gear for that matter

The cold water beat down on him. It felt like a thousand little needles blasting onto his skin, but he didn't flinch.

What the shell happened just then? Donnie looked around as he heard Mikey tapping at the bathroom door.

"Donnie?" He said. It was just his name but he sounded positively alarmed.

Donnie ignored him. He had to pull himself together before he could face him again. Gulping hard as he tried to choke down the lump in his throat, the turtle subconsciously found himself sliding down the wall, sitting in the tub as he waited for the water to grow warm. He wasn't sure how long he remained there but soon Mikey was gone.

What was wrong with him?

Donnie realized that it was going to take a bit more than just going through the motions before he felt like himself again.

A/N: Hope you like. Caught off guard at what just happened? Well after what Don has been through it would happen. Still there's more to come. If you have any questions feel free to ask. Till next time.