Author's note: I have to agree with Robin. Your reactions to that were hilarious. I do want to apologize for doing it though, be cause it was pretty evil. I don't know what came over us. I guess we just knew it would be really funny. Anywho, I've got some good news and some bad news. Good news is, James and Lily WILL be getting back together! HOORAY! I mean we all knew it was happening, this is definitely a canon thing guys. Bad news is, it's not for another few chapters or so. AWWW MAN. I know, I know. We're doing the best we can. But you can't rush these things. In other news, any Hunger Games fans out there? What did you think of the movie? I LOVED IT SO AMAZING I DIED OF AMAZINGNESS OVERLOAD. Sorry. I also figured out that Peeta Mallark is my second favorite male fictional character. Behind James Potter of course, that guy is a sexy beast.
Lily and I continue our routine: small, brief, insignificant interactions in the hallways or during meals or classes, but whenever we have rounds together every other night we play our games of Truth. If I thought I knew her before, well, that's nothing compared to how well we know each other now. I would go so far as to consider her one of my best friends, even, as there are some things I've told her that I've never told anyone before. Although I'll admit, our relationship is still far from perfect. Because though I have told her many things, I know I can't tell her everything.
One day, however, I am in my dorm getting ready to go out on patrol with her-which is really just trading in my uniform for Muggle clothes and grabbing my Invisibility Cloak-when Sirius pipes up, "Uh, James, I feel like there's something I have to say." I turn and give him a look before saying, "...Go on."
He clears his throat, sitting up on his bed but not making eye contact, and says to me, "So, the other day, I might've talked to Evans about some stuff..."
I freeze, wondering what on earth he might have conversed with Lily about. "...And?"
"Well, all I said was entirely true, so I can't be blamed for that! Even though she kept denying it..." he trails off, keeping his eyes locked on the floor.
"Padfoot," I say, interrupting his train of thought. "What did you say to her?"
"Erm...well...You see, and I think I can speak for the both of us when I say this...but I think we both know how your relationship with Evans would've ended over the summer if...well, if things hadn't changed them from happening." Okay, what the bloody hell is he talking about? I think he notices my confused facial expression, for he quickly continues to elaborate. "She would've totally broken your heart, mate. After all those years of pursuit she wouldn't be able to stand finally saying yes. Honestly, it's a good thing you got out while you could..."
"Are you fucking kidding me?" I exclaimed, a little louder than intended. "Is that all the wisdom you cared to shower upon her, or is there more?"
"I just said that she should stay away from you, because then she couldn't end up hurting you. I was just looking out for you, Prongs. The last thing I would've wanted is for you to get hurt, by anyone. Who knows what-"
"I repeat, are you fucking kidding me?" I glare at him. "I'm sorry to break it to you, Sirius, but you knew nothing-and still know nothing-about our relationship. Hell, I'm still trying to figure it out. And frankly, I don't need you to try and figure it out for me!"
"I wasn't trying to figure out anything!" he shouts back. "I'm just sick and tired of hearing, 'Evans this, Evans that' when we don't know how it's going to play out between the two of you! I'm sorry to break it to you, Prongs, but you just have to step up and get over your little infatuation and just admit that you two will never be together!"
"Just because that's the case with you and Alice doesn't mean it's the case with Lily and me!" I yell, furious that he would let his own relationship try and dominate mine. "I know what we've got, okay? There's something between us, even if it's not going on right now, while all there was between you and Alice was just some...some fling!"
"Don't say that!" Sirius bellows, clearly having been thrown over the edge of anger and now barreling towards full-on outrage. "You say I don't know what you and Lily had? You can't be a bloody hypocrite when you know nothing about me and Alice! You call our relationship a fling?" He scoffs, reducing his volume to a kind of controlled rage. "You and Lily didn't even last two months together. If that doesn't prove you two were never meant to be, then I don't know what does." And with that final blow to my pride, he shoots me a withering glare and storms out of the dorm, not even bothering to slam the door behind him. I kick my trunk in frustration and collapse on my bed, holding my head in between my knees.
That little person inside of me, the one that somehow always squashes those dreadful feelings of doubt, keeps saying, What he said, was all lies. He's just jealous. That I'm still on speaking terms with Lily while him and Alice aren't even awkward acquaintances. I smile as the phrase comes to mind, despite my frightening argument with Sirius, as it reminds me of Lily, as she used that term to describe the in-between phase we had not too long ago. In between what? Trying to ignore everything that happened and being able to forgive and forget it, for the most part, seeing as that's where we are now.
A thought pops into my head, not too far from where my mind was a minute ago, and suddenly I know the first question I'm going to ask her in our game of Truth tonight.
"If I don't recall, you were supposed to meet me here about ten minutes ago," Lily says, eying me as if she actually cares that I was late. I can still see the hint of a smile play on her lips, and that's what causes me to grin larger.
"Well, sorry to be so rude, Ms. Evans, but I got held up. See, uh..." I pause, considering whether or not to talk with her about Sirius's confrontation. "Erm, Sirius told me he...talked to you, I guess." I can see the color drain from her face, but she maintains an emotionless expression, inviting me to go on without saying anything, betraying anything, doing anything. "I just want to apologize for what he said. None of it was really true, to be honest. I think he's still just really torn up about Alice, and just took it out on you. You really didn't deserve it, trust me."
She gazes at me with the same blank face for a moment, then takes a shaky breath and gives me a very small, hesitant smile. "It's fine, James. I'm over it, really. What Sirius said, I mean. I know he didn't mean it. I'm just more concerned that you know he didn't mean it." I swear, her gaze can see right through me. I nod. Her smile widens. "Good. Now, let's patrol, shall we?"
We start walking slowly and I nonchalantly say, "So, I'm pretty sure it's my turn to ask you a question, right?" She shoots me a look and replies, "No, you definitely asked me a question last time. It's my turn."
I shake my head, trying to brush me off. "No, that was three nights ago. It's definitely my turn." But she keeps persisiting.
"No, it's my turn! I'm positive!"
"Fine, then you ask me a question! I give up, you win," I say, chuckling and running my hands through my hair. She grins, then thinks for a moment. The question she asks completely catches me off guard.
"So, you and Amanda Hartridge, huh? Are you guys together, now?" Of all things, why did it have to be that?
I'm sure it would appear to a lot of people that Amanda and I are in fact together, when we're really not. Sure, we do a lot of casual snogging in broom cupboards or secret passageways and empty classrooms, but it's never even gone beyond second base. And that was one time. And I'll admit, we do a lot of flirting, but then again, I kind of flirted with everyone before there was a me-and-Lily. Even now, there kind of is, but not in the way I want it. And until I do get the kind I want, I'm stuck trying to make do with Amanda Hartridge, who can no way compare with Lily. Guess I'm just trying to fill the void that's come back ever since I broke up with her.
But I'd never ask her to get together again. I think she's kind of expecting me to, and while I do feel bad for leading her on...I just can't.
"No," I say quietly, not making eye contact with her. "We're not together. Don't think we will be anytime soon." She nods slowly, as if trying to figure something out with too little information, but then she brushes it off and asks brightly, "So? What were you so desperate to ask me?"
I hesitate, inhale, then exhale, but then that little voice says to me, Oh, just say it! "Why did you suddenly decide to become awkward acquaintances with me? After you told me you wanted nothing to do with me?" If my question makes her uncomfortable, she doesn't show it.
"I don't know. I guess I just realized talking to you a little bit would be a lot better than not talking to you at all."
"And...were you right?" I blurt out. She gives me a confused look. "Is talking to me a little bit better than none at all?" She smiles.
"I'd hardly say we only talk a little bit." I return her grin, still waiting for her to answer. "But yeah. It really is. I mean I can't say that I'm completely satisfied with-hey, wait a minute! You asked two questions! Now I have to ask two!" Oh, bugger. I'm extremely curious as to what she was going to say, but for now I guess I'll just have to wonder and hope she'll tell it one day. I could just ask her, I know, since we're playing this game of Truth, but something tells me she's glad she never finished her sentence.
And if I'm going to take away that little bit of satisfaction, no matter how insignificant it is, who am I to really be in love with her?
Author's Note: JAMES IS IN LOVE WITH LILY WHAAAT AS IF WE DIDN'T ALREADY KNOW THAT? Also, the reason they broke up will be revealed around the same time they get back together. I think it's like...five chapters maybe? I don't know. We'll try to update much more often. Sorry for the irregular schedule. You can notify both Robin or me at our Tumblrs: Robin's is .com and mine is .com OR just leave us a lovely review right down there! Tell us what you thought of the chapter, and...what the heck, Team Peeta or Gale? (Both of us are Team Peeta BTW) LOVE YOU ALL BYE!