Lost
Disclaimer: Don't own Ronins. Sarah McLachlan owns the song. Do own Pirro. Do
own all other original characters. Do hope this one gets out quicker than the last one.
"By the shadows of the night I go
I move away from the crowded room
That sea of shallow faces masked in warm regret
They don't know how to feel
They don't know what is lost…"
Memory-self clutched her father's hand at the funeral for the tiny baby sister that had
never taken a breath. Her mommy was standing on her other side, but mommy's face
was blank and her eyes seemed empty. Memory-self was actually afraid to hold
mommy's hand, because it didn't seem like mommy at all, but a stranger standing
beside her.
Viewing-self couldn't take much more of it either. Once the funeral was finished, and
the tiny casket that reminded her more of a shoebox than a coffin was lowered into the
ground, Viewing-self left to check on the Body-self.
Body-self was crying her eyes out, and the loud friend of Lev's was looking
uncomfortable and trying to calm the Body-self down. Viewing-self heard the loud-one
trying to find Lev, but was only answered by the nice-lady.
The nice-lady, Viewing-self dubbed her Sarama – meaning "nice" – shooed the loud one
out of the room. Sarama sat down beside the Body-self and handed her a box of tissues.
Viewing-self grew impatient listening to Sarama talk soothingly to the sobbing Body-
self. She didn't mind that Sarama was trying to be helpful, but what she really wanted
to solve was the mystery of just who Lev was.
Viewing-self prompted the Body-self to look questioningly at Sarama. "What is it
Pirro?" Sarama asked.
"Who…is…Lev?" Pirro asked. When Sarama looked confused, Viewing-Pirro grew
frustrated. She was sick of not understanding the world of the Body-self. "Sarama."
She made the Body-self say in an irritated voice.
"Sarama? Me?" The lady said. Viewing-Pirro made the Body-self nod, then turn away
from Sarama.
"Pirro, what does Sarama mean?" The lady asked, but the Viewing-self had lost interest
with her. Sarama wouldn't be of any help in unraveling the mystery. She left Body-self
to curl up and go to sleep as she returned to the unstable world of the Memory-self.
"Lost in the darkness of a land
Where all the hope that's offered is
Memories of being taken by the hand
And we are led into the sun
But I don't have a hold on what is real
Though we can only try
What is there to give or to believe?…"
Mia was frowning at the now sleeping form of Pirro. She was really wondering if there
was anything that could be done for the girl any more, or if she should just be locked
away in a mental institution.
Mia hated seeing what this was doing to Cye, how it was running him down and tearing
him up from the inside out. Cye was wasting himself away over Pirro, and it was all
Mia could do to keep from bursting. There were times when she felt a knot in her chest
that pulled so tight she thought she would cry; not so much for herself, but for what was
becoming of Cye.
She knew that there wasn't much more that any of them could provide for Pirro, and
although Cye seemed to like to think there was no time limit on how long he would care
for Pirro, time was running out. All of them were only in the cottage on vacation, and
none of them had jobs that could be postponed indefinitely without the threat of being
fired and losing pay.
And they needed pay. It took money to maintain a home for eight people. It took
money and time that they just didn't have. If there was something else that could be
done about it, Mia would, but faith only took a person so far. She hated the thought that
she'd have to remind Cye of all people, that things could be futile, and hope probably
should be lost by now.
She had cared for Cye as she had cared for the others, thinking of them as her little
brothers as well as her protectors. They were a well-oiled team that was its own support
system. She hated to see one of the members of the group in so much pain over
something that couldn't be helped or fought against. Mia wasn't one to give up hope
that easily, but although she wasn't about to tell the others about it, she didn't think
Pirro stood too much of a chance at recovery.
The girl wondered around like a zombie all day, and hardly acknowledged any of them
most of the time. When Pirro did speak, it was usually in some riddle or code that
didn't make any sense. And now Pirro was calling her Sarama? What was the girl
talking about? It sounded like a name, but it wasn't any name that Mia was familiar
with. And who was Lev? And why didn't Pirro realize that she wasn't dead, because to
be dead, you would have had to stop moving around!
Mia let herself believe that Pirro was a hopeless cause, but left it at that. She would
never let herself think about why she might just want Pirro to be a lost cause, why she
might think Pirro should just leave their lives completely, why Cye should move on, and
most of all, how she would help Cye move on.
She wouldn't think about it, because she cared for Cye like she cared for the others, and
just didn't want to see him hurt.
Mia sat down at her own computer and tried to get some work done; she had essays to
finish grading, and she needed to work on a paper she was writing. She called up the
file and began to type, but found herself drawn to the words "Sarama" and "Lev."
Finally she saved her work and logged onto the Internet. She paused for a moment,
then began a search for baby-names websites. Sarama. Lev. What was Pirro talking
about?
"I want it all to go away I want to be alone
Sympathies wasted on my hollow shell…"
Viewing-self was torn between watching the Memory-self and the Body-self. She hadn't
heard from Lev for a while, it was mostly Sarama and Taima, the loud one, which took
care of her. Lev just seemed to be gone, or perhaps she had hurt him so much that he
didn't want to see her any more. Or perhaps he was injured physically, and that's why
he was gone so long.
The loud one was watching the Body-self again, and Viewing-Pirro waited until he
seemed to have settled into the chair he always sat in before she forced the Body-self to
speak. "Taima." She said, looking at him.
Taima gave her a startled look. "What did you call me?" He asked.
"Taima." She repeated, watching him.
"Pirro, what's going on?" He asked.
"Where…Did…Lev…Go?" She asked. "Is…He…Hurt?"
"Lev? Who the hell is Lev?" Taima asked.
Viewing-self and the Body-self both frowned, realizing they'd reached another dead-
end.
"Look, Pirro, I know things are hard right now, but things will all work out fine, I
promise, just get some rest, okay? I know you're thinking some pretty crazy thing right
now, but it will all work out. I know you think you're, what, seven years old? But
you're not! You're, like, twenty-seven or something. I don't know, you never gave out
your age, but that's not the point. Pirro, you need to snap out of this, okay?" Taima
rambled.
Viewing-self now out-right scowled at Taima. "Who the hell are you?" She demanded,
not even realizing she'd made it sound natural as she spoke through the Body-self.
Taima looked startled at himself as well as her outburst. "I think the question is, who
the hell are you?" He returned, then sat back in his chair and remained silent.
"I feel there is nothing left to fight for
No reason for a cause
And I can't hear your voice and I can't feel you near…"
Viewing-Self was brooding as she watched Memory-self play with her dollies as she
avoided her mother. A lot of time had passed while she was away this time. It must
have had something to do with the energy she'd put into yelling at Taima.
Memory-self was now nine and a half years old. Her world had healed again after the
loss of her little sister, and things were back to normal. Right now she was waiting for
punishment, knowing that any moment her mother would open the microwave to heat
up her tea and…
"PIRRO!" Her mother's voice echoed through the house. "WHY IS THERE A MELTED
BARBIE DOLL IN THE MICROWAVE?!"
Memory-self hid under the bed, not feeling like explaining to mommy that Barbie
wanted a darker tan. Meanwhile, Viewing-self grew frustrated and decided to go back
to the body-self again.
Taima wasn't there anymore, and was instead replaced by the youngest one. She
dubbed him Julian, as she watched him through the eyes of the Body-self. He was
sitting across the room and just staring at her, as if waiting for her to do anything.
Daring her to do anything.
"Where…Is…Lev?" She posed the question to this one as well, finding it hard to keep
her voice balanced to hide her growing fury.
Julian narrowed his eyes at her. "Pirro, I don't know who Lev is. Is Lev a pet name for
Naoki?" He asked. Viewing-self was startled. This one knew Tanaka Naoki? That boy
her parents had been talking about arranging her union with? Was Lev, Naoki? She
didn't think Naoki's hair was the right color, but perhaps!
"Where…Is…Naoki?" Viewing-Pirro asked through Body-self.
Julian looked down and sighed, then looked back up at Pirro. "Naoki's dead Pirro. He
died a few weeks ago. He got shot, and then the guys who shot him kidnapped you.
You have to remember, you have to!" The kid practically shouted.
"You should see what it's doing to Cye. I mean, I know the two of you broke up and all,
but he still loves you Pirro. He's been taking care of you, but if you don't get better soon
they're going to lock you in a mental institution and never let you out." He stormed on.
Who the hell was Cye? Was Cye Lev? Naoki was dead? And if she was still close to
Naoki, then they must have been married. But where did Cye fit in if she had married
Naoki? What the hell was going on?
"Who is Cye?" Viewing-self heard the Body-self ask without her prompting. How did
that happen?
Julian was studying her now. "Cye was your boyfriend for a while Pirro." Julian said
slowly. "You and he were in love during the time that Naoki and you lost track of each
other. Ever since the fire you and Naoki had been separated, and you lived alone,
writing your stories. Then you met Cye, and you fell in love with him." Julian paused
to catch his breath.
"You and Cye broke up when he asked you to marry him, but you couldn't because of
Naoki, and then Naoki found you again because of your books Pirro. And you fell in
love with him too…but Naoki is dead Pirro, and Cye still loves you, and you need to
snap out of this and tell Cye that it's either over for good, or that you're his, because
you're driving him more insane than you are right now!" Julian ended with a burst of
anger.
Viewing-self was about to retreat back into the world of the memory-self to absorb this
information when the body-self asked, "Julian, why can't I remember?"
"Julian? Me? I'm Yulie!" The one before her exclaimed. "You went through what I did
Pirro. We were kidnapped. They hurt you, they tortured you, but don't torture Cye
'cause of it!" His voice leveled off and became stronger as he got himself under control.
"Pirro, you have to remember, because otherwise you'll kill Cye, and he loves you Pirro.
You should see him when you don't know he's watching you, he looks like he's in
heaven. When the two of you broke up the first time, it took him almost a year to start
to get over you. Start, not totally get over you, just start. He wouldn't date, no matter
who the girl was, or how pretty she was.
"Pirro, look in the mirror, you'll see that you're not what you think you are, you'll see
that there have been troubles in your past, but you have to live with that and come back
to us. Just like I have to…" At this, Jul- no, Yulie's voice cracked, and tears flooded
down his face. He seemed to collapse then, and left both Body-self and Viewing-self in a
shocked silence.
For hours, Pirro just watched Yulie cry, not sure what to do. When he had fallen asleep
in his own exhaustion, Viewing-self forced the Body-self to stand and walk into the
bathroom. She turned on the light and looked in the mirror.
"Lost in the darkness of a land
Where all the hope that's offered is
Memories of being taken by the hand…"
Mia stood in the doorway, a computer printout in her hand as she watched the sleeping
form of Cye. She knocked lightly on the doorframe. In the dim light, she watched him
stir, then finally blink himself into awareness. "Yeah? Mia? What is it? Is Pirro…"
Mia shook her head and silenced him. "What was the name that Pirro said to you Cye?"
She asked.
Cye frowned, "Lev. She said 'I love you Lev.'" He frowned. "Why?"
Mia flicked on the light, then tossed the printout onto his lap. Cye stared down at it for
a moment, then back up at Mia. "Lev means heart?"
Mia nodded. "And look, she's been calling me 'Sarama.' It means 'nice.' And that one,"
She pointed to the name "Taima." "It means 'Rolling Thunder.' That's what she's been
calling Kento."
Cye had to snort in laughter. "It suits him."
"Cye," She said. "Pirro was saying she loves you. I think this is proof that she's still in
there."
"I already knew she was still in there." Cye reprimanded her. "I've known it this entire
time, but no one believed me."
Mia tried not to look as hurt as she felt. "Touché. You were right."
Cye pealed the blankets away and stood; unaware of how hard Mia was trying to not
look at him. "If she recognizes me now, and she said she loves me, then I have to go to
her."
Mia nodded, and stepped aside so that he could exit the room. Her eyes followed him
as he walked down the hallway to Pirro's room, clad in only his boxers. After a soft sigh
she turned her eyes away and looked at the printout. This would make him happy,
somehow it would make him happy.
"And we are led into the sun
But I don't have a hold on what is real
Though we can only try
What is there to give or to believe…"
The Viewing-self returned to the Memory-self, and was shocked at what she found.
Memory-self was now eleven years old, and in Sasha's house. Time must have flown
again. She didn't know what made it move so fast all of a sudden, but she didn't have
time to think. She smelled smoke, and so did Sasha and Memory-self.
The image in her mind of the sight that had greeted her in the mirror was all she needed
to know what was coming. She willed herself back to the Body-self, but nothing
happened. Memory-self had taken over, and wasn't letting her leave. She watched in
terror as the pair discovered the flames licking their way up the staircase. They ran from
room to room, and finally settled on a window from which to call for help.
Viewing-self tried to close her eyes and ears against the sight of her own self with her
hair on fire. She watched the vivid images with a morbid fascination that she couldn't
explain.
Her memories sped up and she received the news that Sasha had died, then she started
physical therapy. Faster and faster through the death of her parents, her decision to
become a veritable hermit, and finally to the point where she met Cye.
Her mind was reeling as she was taken to the point where she broke up with Cye and
beyond to the reunion with Naoki, and finally the entrance of the cult into her life. Her
memories wound down to dark images. She was crying, watching Naoki die, then was
trapped in a world of blood and smoke. Finally all that was left was darkness and the
memory-self.
The two girls, Viewing-Pirro and Memory-Pirro stood face to face in darkness. "Now
you remember." Memory-self said.
"Now I know." Viewing-self answered.
Memory-Pirro took a step foreword and merged with Viewing-Pirro. A moment later
she was catapulted into the Body-self where the shock of suddenly being awake again
wracked her body in pain and she cried out.
A moment later she could feel Cye's arms around her, cradling her head against his
chest. Instinctively she whimpered and pushed him away. He met her gaze with an
unimaginable pain reflecting in his eyes.
"Pirro, I'm sorry, you were crying, and…" Cye started, then held his breath.
"And you wanted to comfort me. I know. I know Cye, I know." Pirro said, then looked
away. Now that she remembered, how could she dishonor Naoki's memory by being
with Cye? In her heart she cried out to Naoki.
"Pirro, Pirro, did you just speak to me? Are you…you remember? You said my name?"
Cye asked, taking her by the shoulders and forcing her to look at him.
"Yulie told me, he let me remember." She said in barely over a whisper. "Cye, did the
people who killed Naoki get punished?"
Cye sobered. "They were put in jail, but they escaped. Then, when we defeated their
high priest they all sort of just, died…" He laid his hands in his lap with the palms up in
a gesture of defeat. "We don't know how, it just happened."
Pirro looked down at Cye's hands. For a moment she was still, and Cye felt the little
hairs on the back of his neck stand up. He had the urge to turn around and look over his
shoulder, but then Pirro reached out and took his hands in her own.
"You are the best…" She told him. "Thank you…" She was silent for a moment, then
gave his hands a squeeze, and released them. "Thank you." She repeated and closed
her eyes.
"You want to go to sleep?" Cye asked her. She nodded. "Do you mind if I watch over
you?"
"Please." She answered without opening her eyes. She lay back in the bed and Cye
drew the covers over her. He suspected she was asleep before her head even hit the
pillow.
He turned and found Yulie, curled up in a ball and fast asleep on a chair across
the room. He roused the youth, and sent him to his own bedroom. Then Cye turned off
the light and sat down with a blanket wrapped around his shoulders to watch the
sleeping form of Pirro. "I still love you Pirro." He whispered into the darkness of the
room.
"I still love you too." A second voice added, though Cye's ears were unable to detect it.
"I still love you too." Naoki repeated from the shadows of the room.
Pirro stirred, but did not awaken.
"I wanted a change knowing all I could do was try
I was looking for someone."
Disclaimer: Don't own Ronins. Sarah McLachlan owns the song. Do own Pirro. Do
own all other original characters. Do hope this one gets out quicker than the last one.
"By the shadows of the night I go
I move away from the crowded room
That sea of shallow faces masked in warm regret
They don't know how to feel
They don't know what is lost…"
Memory-self clutched her father's hand at the funeral for the tiny baby sister that had
never taken a breath. Her mommy was standing on her other side, but mommy's face
was blank and her eyes seemed empty. Memory-self was actually afraid to hold
mommy's hand, because it didn't seem like mommy at all, but a stranger standing
beside her.
Viewing-self couldn't take much more of it either. Once the funeral was finished, and
the tiny casket that reminded her more of a shoebox than a coffin was lowered into the
ground, Viewing-self left to check on the Body-self.
Body-self was crying her eyes out, and the loud friend of Lev's was looking
uncomfortable and trying to calm the Body-self down. Viewing-self heard the loud-one
trying to find Lev, but was only answered by the nice-lady.
The nice-lady, Viewing-self dubbed her Sarama – meaning "nice" – shooed the loud one
out of the room. Sarama sat down beside the Body-self and handed her a box of tissues.
Viewing-self grew impatient listening to Sarama talk soothingly to the sobbing Body-
self. She didn't mind that Sarama was trying to be helpful, but what she really wanted
to solve was the mystery of just who Lev was.
Viewing-self prompted the Body-self to look questioningly at Sarama. "What is it
Pirro?" Sarama asked.
"Who…is…Lev?" Pirro asked. When Sarama looked confused, Viewing-Pirro grew
frustrated. She was sick of not understanding the world of the Body-self. "Sarama."
She made the Body-self say in an irritated voice.
"Sarama? Me?" The lady said. Viewing-Pirro made the Body-self nod, then turn away
from Sarama.
"Pirro, what does Sarama mean?" The lady asked, but the Viewing-self had lost interest
with her. Sarama wouldn't be of any help in unraveling the mystery. She left Body-self
to curl up and go to sleep as she returned to the unstable world of the Memory-self.
"Lost in the darkness of a land
Where all the hope that's offered is
Memories of being taken by the hand
And we are led into the sun
But I don't have a hold on what is real
Though we can only try
What is there to give or to believe?…"
Mia was frowning at the now sleeping form of Pirro. She was really wondering if there
was anything that could be done for the girl any more, or if she should just be locked
away in a mental institution.
Mia hated seeing what this was doing to Cye, how it was running him down and tearing
him up from the inside out. Cye was wasting himself away over Pirro, and it was all
Mia could do to keep from bursting. There were times when she felt a knot in her chest
that pulled so tight she thought she would cry; not so much for herself, but for what was
becoming of Cye.
She knew that there wasn't much more that any of them could provide for Pirro, and
although Cye seemed to like to think there was no time limit on how long he would care
for Pirro, time was running out. All of them were only in the cottage on vacation, and
none of them had jobs that could be postponed indefinitely without the threat of being
fired and losing pay.
And they needed pay. It took money to maintain a home for eight people. It took
money and time that they just didn't have. If there was something else that could be
done about it, Mia would, but faith only took a person so far. She hated the thought that
she'd have to remind Cye of all people, that things could be futile, and hope probably
should be lost by now.
She had cared for Cye as she had cared for the others, thinking of them as her little
brothers as well as her protectors. They were a well-oiled team that was its own support
system. She hated to see one of the members of the group in so much pain over
something that couldn't be helped or fought against. Mia wasn't one to give up hope
that easily, but although she wasn't about to tell the others about it, she didn't think
Pirro stood too much of a chance at recovery.
The girl wondered around like a zombie all day, and hardly acknowledged any of them
most of the time. When Pirro did speak, it was usually in some riddle or code that
didn't make any sense. And now Pirro was calling her Sarama? What was the girl
talking about? It sounded like a name, but it wasn't any name that Mia was familiar
with. And who was Lev? And why didn't Pirro realize that she wasn't dead, because to
be dead, you would have had to stop moving around!
Mia let herself believe that Pirro was a hopeless cause, but left it at that. She would
never let herself think about why she might just want Pirro to be a lost cause, why she
might think Pirro should just leave their lives completely, why Cye should move on, and
most of all, how she would help Cye move on.
She wouldn't think about it, because she cared for Cye like she cared for the others, and
just didn't want to see him hurt.
Mia sat down at her own computer and tried to get some work done; she had essays to
finish grading, and she needed to work on a paper she was writing. She called up the
file and began to type, but found herself drawn to the words "Sarama" and "Lev."
Finally she saved her work and logged onto the Internet. She paused for a moment,
then began a search for baby-names websites. Sarama. Lev. What was Pirro talking
about?
"I want it all to go away I want to be alone
Sympathies wasted on my hollow shell…"
Viewing-self was torn between watching the Memory-self and the Body-self. She hadn't
heard from Lev for a while, it was mostly Sarama and Taima, the loud one, which took
care of her. Lev just seemed to be gone, or perhaps she had hurt him so much that he
didn't want to see her any more. Or perhaps he was injured physically, and that's why
he was gone so long.
The loud one was watching the Body-self again, and Viewing-Pirro waited until he
seemed to have settled into the chair he always sat in before she forced the Body-self to
speak. "Taima." She said, looking at him.
Taima gave her a startled look. "What did you call me?" He asked.
"Taima." She repeated, watching him.
"Pirro, what's going on?" He asked.
"Where…Did…Lev…Go?" She asked. "Is…He…Hurt?"
"Lev? Who the hell is Lev?" Taima asked.
Viewing-self and the Body-self both frowned, realizing they'd reached another dead-
end.
"Look, Pirro, I know things are hard right now, but things will all work out fine, I
promise, just get some rest, okay? I know you're thinking some pretty crazy thing right
now, but it will all work out. I know you think you're, what, seven years old? But
you're not! You're, like, twenty-seven or something. I don't know, you never gave out
your age, but that's not the point. Pirro, you need to snap out of this, okay?" Taima
rambled.
Viewing-self now out-right scowled at Taima. "Who the hell are you?" She demanded,
not even realizing she'd made it sound natural as she spoke through the Body-self.
Taima looked startled at himself as well as her outburst. "I think the question is, who
the hell are you?" He returned, then sat back in his chair and remained silent.
"I feel there is nothing left to fight for
No reason for a cause
And I can't hear your voice and I can't feel you near…"
Viewing-Self was brooding as she watched Memory-self play with her dollies as she
avoided her mother. A lot of time had passed while she was away this time. It must
have had something to do with the energy she'd put into yelling at Taima.
Memory-self was now nine and a half years old. Her world had healed again after the
loss of her little sister, and things were back to normal. Right now she was waiting for
punishment, knowing that any moment her mother would open the microwave to heat
up her tea and…
"PIRRO!" Her mother's voice echoed through the house. "WHY IS THERE A MELTED
BARBIE DOLL IN THE MICROWAVE?!"
Memory-self hid under the bed, not feeling like explaining to mommy that Barbie
wanted a darker tan. Meanwhile, Viewing-self grew frustrated and decided to go back
to the body-self again.
Taima wasn't there anymore, and was instead replaced by the youngest one. She
dubbed him Julian, as she watched him through the eyes of the Body-self. He was
sitting across the room and just staring at her, as if waiting for her to do anything.
Daring her to do anything.
"Where…Is…Lev?" She posed the question to this one as well, finding it hard to keep
her voice balanced to hide her growing fury.
Julian narrowed his eyes at her. "Pirro, I don't know who Lev is. Is Lev a pet name for
Naoki?" He asked. Viewing-self was startled. This one knew Tanaka Naoki? That boy
her parents had been talking about arranging her union with? Was Lev, Naoki? She
didn't think Naoki's hair was the right color, but perhaps!
"Where…Is…Naoki?" Viewing-Pirro asked through Body-self.
Julian looked down and sighed, then looked back up at Pirro. "Naoki's dead Pirro. He
died a few weeks ago. He got shot, and then the guys who shot him kidnapped you.
You have to remember, you have to!" The kid practically shouted.
"You should see what it's doing to Cye. I mean, I know the two of you broke up and all,
but he still loves you Pirro. He's been taking care of you, but if you don't get better soon
they're going to lock you in a mental institution and never let you out." He stormed on.
Who the hell was Cye? Was Cye Lev? Naoki was dead? And if she was still close to
Naoki, then they must have been married. But where did Cye fit in if she had married
Naoki? What the hell was going on?
"Who is Cye?" Viewing-self heard the Body-self ask without her prompting. How did
that happen?
Julian was studying her now. "Cye was your boyfriend for a while Pirro." Julian said
slowly. "You and he were in love during the time that Naoki and you lost track of each
other. Ever since the fire you and Naoki had been separated, and you lived alone,
writing your stories. Then you met Cye, and you fell in love with him." Julian paused
to catch his breath.
"You and Cye broke up when he asked you to marry him, but you couldn't because of
Naoki, and then Naoki found you again because of your books Pirro. And you fell in
love with him too…but Naoki is dead Pirro, and Cye still loves you, and you need to
snap out of this and tell Cye that it's either over for good, or that you're his, because
you're driving him more insane than you are right now!" Julian ended with a burst of
anger.
Viewing-self was about to retreat back into the world of the memory-self to absorb this
information when the body-self asked, "Julian, why can't I remember?"
"Julian? Me? I'm Yulie!" The one before her exclaimed. "You went through what I did
Pirro. We were kidnapped. They hurt you, they tortured you, but don't torture Cye
'cause of it!" His voice leveled off and became stronger as he got himself under control.
"Pirro, you have to remember, because otherwise you'll kill Cye, and he loves you Pirro.
You should see him when you don't know he's watching you, he looks like he's in
heaven. When the two of you broke up the first time, it took him almost a year to start
to get over you. Start, not totally get over you, just start. He wouldn't date, no matter
who the girl was, or how pretty she was.
"Pirro, look in the mirror, you'll see that you're not what you think you are, you'll see
that there have been troubles in your past, but you have to live with that and come back
to us. Just like I have to…" At this, Jul- no, Yulie's voice cracked, and tears flooded
down his face. He seemed to collapse then, and left both Body-self and Viewing-self in a
shocked silence.
For hours, Pirro just watched Yulie cry, not sure what to do. When he had fallen asleep
in his own exhaustion, Viewing-self forced the Body-self to stand and walk into the
bathroom. She turned on the light and looked in the mirror.
"Lost in the darkness of a land
Where all the hope that's offered is
Memories of being taken by the hand…"
Mia stood in the doorway, a computer printout in her hand as she watched the sleeping
form of Cye. She knocked lightly on the doorframe. In the dim light, she watched him
stir, then finally blink himself into awareness. "Yeah? Mia? What is it? Is Pirro…"
Mia shook her head and silenced him. "What was the name that Pirro said to you Cye?"
She asked.
Cye frowned, "Lev. She said 'I love you Lev.'" He frowned. "Why?"
Mia flicked on the light, then tossed the printout onto his lap. Cye stared down at it for
a moment, then back up at Mia. "Lev means heart?"
Mia nodded. "And look, she's been calling me 'Sarama.' It means 'nice.' And that one,"
She pointed to the name "Taima." "It means 'Rolling Thunder.' That's what she's been
calling Kento."
Cye had to snort in laughter. "It suits him."
"Cye," She said. "Pirro was saying she loves you. I think this is proof that she's still in
there."
"I already knew she was still in there." Cye reprimanded her. "I've known it this entire
time, but no one believed me."
Mia tried not to look as hurt as she felt. "Touché. You were right."
Cye pealed the blankets away and stood; unaware of how hard Mia was trying to not
look at him. "If she recognizes me now, and she said she loves me, then I have to go to
her."
Mia nodded, and stepped aside so that he could exit the room. Her eyes followed him
as he walked down the hallway to Pirro's room, clad in only his boxers. After a soft sigh
she turned her eyes away and looked at the printout. This would make him happy,
somehow it would make him happy.
"And we are led into the sun
But I don't have a hold on what is real
Though we can only try
What is there to give or to believe…"
The Viewing-self returned to the Memory-self, and was shocked at what she found.
Memory-self was now eleven years old, and in Sasha's house. Time must have flown
again. She didn't know what made it move so fast all of a sudden, but she didn't have
time to think. She smelled smoke, and so did Sasha and Memory-self.
The image in her mind of the sight that had greeted her in the mirror was all she needed
to know what was coming. She willed herself back to the Body-self, but nothing
happened. Memory-self had taken over, and wasn't letting her leave. She watched in
terror as the pair discovered the flames licking their way up the staircase. They ran from
room to room, and finally settled on a window from which to call for help.
Viewing-self tried to close her eyes and ears against the sight of her own self with her
hair on fire. She watched the vivid images with a morbid fascination that she couldn't
explain.
Her memories sped up and she received the news that Sasha had died, then she started
physical therapy. Faster and faster through the death of her parents, her decision to
become a veritable hermit, and finally to the point where she met Cye.
Her mind was reeling as she was taken to the point where she broke up with Cye and
beyond to the reunion with Naoki, and finally the entrance of the cult into her life. Her
memories wound down to dark images. She was crying, watching Naoki die, then was
trapped in a world of blood and smoke. Finally all that was left was darkness and the
memory-self.
The two girls, Viewing-Pirro and Memory-Pirro stood face to face in darkness. "Now
you remember." Memory-self said.
"Now I know." Viewing-self answered.
Memory-Pirro took a step foreword and merged with Viewing-Pirro. A moment later
she was catapulted into the Body-self where the shock of suddenly being awake again
wracked her body in pain and she cried out.
A moment later she could feel Cye's arms around her, cradling her head against his
chest. Instinctively she whimpered and pushed him away. He met her gaze with an
unimaginable pain reflecting in his eyes.
"Pirro, I'm sorry, you were crying, and…" Cye started, then held his breath.
"And you wanted to comfort me. I know. I know Cye, I know." Pirro said, then looked
away. Now that she remembered, how could she dishonor Naoki's memory by being
with Cye? In her heart she cried out to Naoki.
"Pirro, Pirro, did you just speak to me? Are you…you remember? You said my name?"
Cye asked, taking her by the shoulders and forcing her to look at him.
"Yulie told me, he let me remember." She said in barely over a whisper. "Cye, did the
people who killed Naoki get punished?"
Cye sobered. "They were put in jail, but they escaped. Then, when we defeated their
high priest they all sort of just, died…" He laid his hands in his lap with the palms up in
a gesture of defeat. "We don't know how, it just happened."
Pirro looked down at Cye's hands. For a moment she was still, and Cye felt the little
hairs on the back of his neck stand up. He had the urge to turn around and look over his
shoulder, but then Pirro reached out and took his hands in her own.
"You are the best…" She told him. "Thank you…" She was silent for a moment, then
gave his hands a squeeze, and released them. "Thank you." She repeated and closed
her eyes.
"You want to go to sleep?" Cye asked her. She nodded. "Do you mind if I watch over
you?"
"Please." She answered without opening her eyes. She lay back in the bed and Cye
drew the covers over her. He suspected she was asleep before her head even hit the
pillow.
He turned and found Yulie, curled up in a ball and fast asleep on a chair across
the room. He roused the youth, and sent him to his own bedroom. Then Cye turned off
the light and sat down with a blanket wrapped around his shoulders to watch the
sleeping form of Pirro. "I still love you Pirro." He whispered into the darkness of the
room.
"I still love you too." A second voice added, though Cye's ears were unable to detect it.
"I still love you too." Naoki repeated from the shadows of the room.
Pirro stirred, but did not awaken.
"I wanted a change knowing all I could do was try
I was looking for someone."