AN: My friend and I made a fan website: http(:)//tsagafannation(.)ning(.)com/ I would really love it if you checked it out.
I'm debating weather or not to begin posting my other story soon, or just concentrate on this one, which would you guys prefer?
Chapter 25
The next few weeks were spent making the technical arrangements for my moving in with Bella. I closed the lease on my apartment and began organizing things for storage or relocation. Our status was unconventional to say the least, but it meant being with Ashley and Bella, so I would do it, no matter what anyone else thought.
We planned to store my clothes and other personal items like that in Bella's closet, but I would be spending my nights on the pull out couch located in the living room. Although Bella attempted to convince me to take her room, there was no way I could sleep well knowing she was stuck on the couch.
I was nervous about how Ashley would take all of this, but, to both my surprise and Bella's, she seemed completely at ease with the predicament. Bella decided it would be best to tell her alone, so I'm not sure exactly how that conversation went, but from what Bella told me and how Ashley reacted after, she seemed excited and understood completely what was going on, despite Bella still not telling her once and for all that I was her father.
The whole truth was still unknown to the rest of my family, except for Rose, Carlisle, and Esme. We could have told all of them the truth from the beginning, possibly gaining more support, but at the moment Bella and I were trying to make arrangements and figure everything out for the best possible outcome, not the easiest thing to do, and adding any stress that could come along with telling my other siblings may complicate things even more and drive a wedge between Bella and I.
It was certainly a strange conversation, telling Carlisle and Esme about my decision to move in with my daughter and her mother in a very unconventional way. Bella was the one who insisted that we tell them right away, also giving her the opportunity to explain anything they wanted pertaining to her decision with Ashley. We all decided to have coffee at my parents' house a few days after we made the initial decision, making it also be the first time for them to talk to Bella after them gaining the knowledge that Ashley was their granddaughter.
We drove to Carlisle and Esme's in the afternoon, coming from dropping Ashley off with Rosalie and Alice at their shop in Port Angeles. Alice didn't say anything besides a generic greeting and farewell to Bella and myself, but was the extreme opposite with Ashley, talking animatedly with her as Rose had a short conversation with us.
Bella suggested we have coffee at the house in the woods as opposed to any of the local cafes. Forks was a tiny place, and if anyone was to overhear our conversation, news would spread like wildfire, using our situation as opportunity to point fingers in accusation at their belief of a scandal.
We were parked outside the Victorian house, the woods creating an ominous scene along with the cloudy sky, Bella was nervous enough to attempt to prolong the inevitable conversation.
She let out a long sigh before finally speaking. "Edward, I really don't want your parents to start hating me. I'll go insane knowing that, even if I did bring it all on myself," she explained part of her nervousness, lifting her hand to her mouth and absentmindedly chewing on her thumb's nail.
I quickly pulled her hand away from her face, intertwining our fingers and giving hers a gentle squeeze. "Bella, you have nothing to worry about. Carlisle and Esme love you just as much as they did before."
She took a deep breath before putting on a brave face. "Okay," she whispered, telling me that she was ready to see whatever was waiting for her.
I leaned in quickly, kissing her softly on the cheek. "I'm here," I whispered in her ear before leaning at the correct angle to allow my lips to meet hers.
We got out of the car simultaneously, and I instantly waited for her to catch up to my side. I grasped Bella's hand as soon as she was next to me, clutching it tightly to remind her of my words in the car. When we reached the door, I opened it for Bella and quickly lead her to the kitchen, where Esme could always be found.
Sure enough, I was correct about the placement of my mother. She was fiddling with the coffee maker, and when she wasn't playing with that she was brushing a crumb off the counter or fussing with her hair and clothing. Each movement went so quickly that it was all just a mush of actions following each other with no real thought behind them.
"Hey, mom," I called out in greeting, making her jump slightly at the sudden interruption of the silence throughout the house, well aside from that out the coffee maker. Esme took a deep breath before she turned to face us.
Bella quickly dropped my hand and ran over to Esme to envelop her into a hug. All I could hear from their close conversation was Bella's sob filled apologies and Esme's calm reassurances, after that all the noise passing between them was too hushed for me to hear.
They finally collected themselves as Carlisle entered the room, clapping me on the shoulder as a silent hello while he passed whereas I continued standing at the entrance. Bella stood by Esme with embarrassment clear on her face, she was afraid to be here and afraid to hear their verdict, both on herself and about the news her and I had to share about our moving in together. It was obvious to everyone that Esme would be understanding, she was never one to hold a grudge and she could also sympathize with the confusion around pregnancy.
Carlisle masked any emotion he may have in a diplomatic sense of calm as he hugged Bella. I could tell that even that small exchange made Bella feel better; she wasn't being accused or ostracized.
"Um…I made coffee, why don't we all go sit down," Esme suggested, looking around and taking in our awkward stares being shared throughout the room.
Carlisle grabbed four mugs out of the cabinet and put them down on the round, wooden kitchen table, then added the coffee pot on his second trip. I pulled back a chair when I reached the table usually reserved for conversations similar to this one, and gestured for Bella to take the seat.
Bella walked over from her last position where she was hunched in on herself while she stood next to where Esme was standing with her. She seemed sheepish, and it was all too clear that she wanted to drop into a hole and never have to face the conversation. I could relate, of course, but I knew that if we wanted to progress in our relationship, then we'd have to face the past and any problems that still stand from choices made previously.
I sat next to Bella, easily taking her hand underneath the table. I suddenly recalled the last time that she and I had to sit at this table with my parents was in the middle of our senior year, telling of our plans to go to the same Seattle college and live together in an apartment, just the two of us, rather than moving into the house Jasper, Rosalie, and Emmett had like Alice.
Esme took the seat on the other side of Bella, with Carlisle sitting to her left. No one spoke at first, all intently watching Esme pour coffee into each of the mugs and provided each of us with the pick-me-up liquid.
Carlisle broke the awkward silence with a sigh that would have otherwise been inaudible if not for the dead silence throughout the whole house.
"I supposed we should just get right into it. The sooner we start, the sooner it's over, right?" Carlisle began, a strange edge, I believe was nervousness, rising in his voice.
"I'm really sorry about how I handled the situation, I wasn't thinking clearly and I didn't want to put all of you through more by coming back so soon once I realized what a large mistake I made, so I just continued along with the charade. I know how wrong it was for me to take away your rights as grandparents, and Edward's as a father, but I just convinced myself that-"
Bella's long explanation of how truly repentant she was had been cut off by Esme. "Bella, dear, you don't need to apologize, we understand that your intentions weren't malicious in the least. As you explained, you were considering what was best for Edward's future. There's no need for you to continue to apologize," she said soothingly while patting one of Bella's hands that were settled on either side of the coffee cup she hadn't moved off the table.
Bella gave her a timid smile and perched herself on the edge of her chair to position herself closer to me to where our knees were touching. I lifted my left arm to settle it on the back of Bella's chair, causing her to lean back into my arm and slide her arms off the table. I tugged lightly on one of Bella's long locks, straight today, to remind her of my support, I was here, listening, and ready to participate.
"When did you find out you were…pregnant?" Esme asked tentatively, beginning the round of questions to come. She was hesitant, not wanting to hit a nerve of Bella's.
I began twirling the piece of Bella's hair I was toying with earlier in between my pointer finger and thumb, attempting to distract myself with watching how the light set on it as it turned and her reaction to my touch. I wanted to know the answers to these questions too, but I wanted to store them away for evaluation later, that way I wasn't getting my emotions and opinions involved at this moment.
"Well I noticed something was different, so I took a test. When it came out positive, I made the decision to tell Edward after his finals were over, so that he would be able to completely concentrate on his tests. I didn't really say anything about it, not even hinting toward it, but I did take a secret doctor visit, just to make sure everything was fine. Then, while I was considering everything, I noticed how hard it was for us to keep afloat without another person to worry about taking care of, both mentally and financially. We hardly had time for each other, especially towards the end of the semesters, between our classes, homework, and our jobs, let alone someone who needed constant attention.
"I made the decision, at first, I wasn't sure and I was positive that something was going to happen to change my mind, but soon enough I was packing my bags. I needed to tell someone so I would have a place to go and help me, so I told Renee everything and she helped me transfer to the school Phil was starting to work at, she never really said anything about my decision though. It was a really confusing time." I tried not to focus on anything too closely, but I couldn't help but see those last few weeks through Bella's eyes. It was now clear to me why she would be upset often, or distant, or why she would flinch at even my most casual touch.
"And Renee and Charlie know everything?" Esme continued her questioning like a pro.
"Yes, even that Edward's the father."
"Were they with you when Ashley was born?"
"Renee was, since I was living with her at the time."
"When and where was she born?"
"On August 29th 2006 in Anaheim, California, she was adorable." Both Bella and my mother had an adoration filled twinkle in their eye when they spoke of Ashley, but it was understandable, I felt the same.
"What's her full name?"
Bella had a gentle blush on her cheeks as she answered, "Ashley Esme Renee Swan." Esme seemed more than pleased with that.
"Did you notice the resemblance when she was growing up?"
"Of course, she looks a lot like Edward, especially to me, and I'm sure you noticed her excitement level is similar to a certain pixie we all know. Plus, she's thoughtful and cautious, like Edward." I smiled to myself a bit, she really was mine. It seemed like a very surreal subject, actually being a father, but I was ready now, I was becoming more and more convinced that I could do this.
"Did she ever ask about her father?"
"Actually, she hasn't; it's strange. It's like she knew it was a sensitive subject."
"Why did you guys decided not to…wait?" Carlisle asked, and the look on his face clarified any confusion I might have about his cryptic question.
I decided to quickly step into the discussion, noting the overwhelming scarlet blush on Bella's face. "We were alone for the first extensive period of time and in a very good place in our relationship, it just seemed logical to take the next step. Neither of us really talked about waiting, it just kind of progressed naturally," I answered, feeling my own blush rising. No matter how old I became, talking about sex with my parents was never going to be a favorite topic of mine.
"And you two weren't using protection?" Carlisle continued on the awkward question path.
"Bella was taking birth control, but that can fall through, as you know."
"Were you two planning on getting married?" Esme asked, curiosity present and eyes full of hope.
"I was planning on asking Bella after my graduation, so we would have ample time to go through the motions."
Esme had a pleasant smile on her face, pleased to know that Ashley came out of mutual love and care, not simply an accident during convenience.
"Bella and I have some news," I announced when no one made an attempt to continue the interview. "Since my apartment is farther away than I would like and I feel like I need to build up a relationship with Ashley, I'm moving in with Bella." I sounded more confident than I felt on the inside.
"That's great, son," Esme said happily and genuinely.
"You approve?" Bella asked with a smile rising in her voice.
"Of course we support the decision," Carlisle imputed. "We trust that the two of you took everything into consideration and made the most logical choice. Congratulations."
"Is it alright if I drop some stuff off tonight?"
"Of course, anything you need," Esme replied with a smile.
"Thank you," I replied, looking over at my Bella. "I think we ought to get going," I announced, glancing at my watch.
Carlisle and Esme saw us out, wishing us the best and offering help with moving and watching Ashley. Bella didn't say anything until we were in the car.
"You know," she began, "Rosalie was planning to watch Ashley longer."
"Yes, but I was think we need to visit someone else."
"Who?" Bella asked while going to change CDs.
"Your father."