Author's Note: I've been playing Mario games since he was "Jumpman" in Donkey Kong, so there's a lot of info from the games, books, toys, and anything else Nintendo makes with him. I understand the Super Mario Movie and cartoons are not canon, but I do use some of the cartoon lore in here for filler info. Also, according to Shigeru Miyamoto, Mario's creator, Mario is 5'1'' and 25 years old, such info I have used to make more sense of less profiled characters. So knowing this, please don't freak out about certain characters being so-so feet tall and so-so years old. I mean, if that stuff freaks you out then, spoiler alert, Mario is not a plumber anymore and I will make note of it in the story. Timeline wise, I'm placing this before the Mario + Rabbids: Kingdom Battle, Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga + Bowser's Minions, Super Mario Odyssey, and Mario Party: The Top 100 games, those I have yet to properly think of ways to intergrade into this story, plus most of those games haven't even been released yet. But enough of me rambling, you want to lose yourself in a story, so here it is. Enjoy. ^_^
Upon much yelling and trying to get Roy to calm down, I promise to explain things later if he can keep his cool. He only agrees to this if...we talk alone. So we made that deal and Bowser said it was cool that he'd tend to the kids for me while I put out this raging fire that is Roy. Hence here we are in Roy's room. Me sitting backward on a chair as Roy does the same with his shades off and maintaining endless eye contact. You know, something super chill like and not totally intense at all.
"So...You okay to talk to yet?"
He hasn't spoken since we got in here.
"I understand why you're ticked off. But if it's okay, I'm going to start now."
The silence...It's really unnerving.
"I get that you're mad. It was stupid to make bets. I probably would've been in better judgment had I not been on boosters. *sigh* I still owe Wario about 50 coins. I hate being in debt to someone."
He inhales through his nose deeply before exhaling just as deeply.
"...Why did ya make a bet to kiss another guy?"
I rub the bridge of my nose.
"That wasn't what happened."
"Then tell me what did."
"What happened was, Peach got this sentimental gift from Toadsworth that made her all girly with emotion and junk. Waluigi made a remark that his gift to Peach would beat that one and I called him out on it. So with the odds in my favor, when he proposed a little wager I figured I'd have this one in the bag. Little did anyone know was that Waluigi has the singing voice of an angel and the dance moves of a devil. He made that pink pain swoon and I knew I had been bested. He aimed for most likely a full lip contact kiss..."
Roy snarls loudly but with a low enough rumble to make objects in the room vibrate from the sound.
"But I aimed to move and only give him a cheek peck. Nothing more. Believe me, the guy was off-putting the moment we met. Hell, Wario was more charming by comparison and he didn't even try to flirt with me. But as the purple man attempted to collect his 'winnings', Bowser promptly punched him across the room. I stayed by Bowser's side the rest of the evening till we took Peach. That's all that happened and nothing more."
He just keeps staring at me. Those eyes of his...He always has them covered but they are sharper than his spikes. He's scanning me for any sign of falsehood. I'd be insulted if I didn't find this so impressive.
"...You really don't like him?"
"I almost ended up punching him myself."
"Why?"
"Peach was talking smack to Bowser. I was going to 'correct' her. He tried to stop me...I think you know how I get when someone tries to stop me when I'm not in a good mood."
A small chuckle sneaks out of him. I consider it a good sign.
"Had ya hit him, would ya have held back?"
"No. I have no reason to hold back on a stranger, let alone, a man that was creeping on me."
Slowly he gets off the chair and moves over to me. I remain seated till he motions me to get up. I do as he signals and once I do so, he immediately pulls me into his embrace.
"This is why I want to put ya on lockdown. If no one knows you're my girl, then anyone is gonna make a play for ya."
I frown and return his hold. I don't like making him worry like this. I don't like how he's metaphorically moving closer to me yet I'm stuck in place. I need to fix this. I need to think.
Roy nuzzles into her hair. So soft and sweet smelling. It was intoxicating to his senses. But just about everything about her made him feel that way. God he wanted more. He'd give anything for more of her.
{"I...I'm starting to see your point."
"Don't fight me on this and just...wait...Did you just agree with me?"
She rests her head on his shoulder and leans on him.
"I don't want other guys to look my way. I don't want that attention. I don't make friends easily, but dudes always seem to be more comfortable around me than girls. I've told you before, I don't know if I'll find love here with you or anyone else. But I can see myself being in love with you all. And...I'd rather put that out there than to leave things open for others to make up their own views. So if you want to..."
His grip tightens.
"Don't tease me like this, sugar."
"I'm not. You can say to anyone that I'm yours because, in a sense, I am. But you still have to get to know me and I you before those certain words are spoken."
"What words are ya talkin' about?"
"You know. Those three special ones."
"Oh! Ya mean those words. Huh...I never really thought 'Roy is awesome' was so special, but, I'll give ya the benefit of the doubt."
She giggles and he nuzzles into her neck.
"You're adorable, tough guy. You know that?"
"All the better to win ya over, sweetheart."
He was being cute and it made her want to tease him.
"Oh Roy, what big muscles you have."
He grins and softly kisses her neck.
"All the better to hold ya with, sugar."
She rubs the back of his head with one hand and traces the rim of his shell with the other, making him purr.
"My, what smooth scales you have."
He coos before smirking and nipping at her ear.
"All the better for ya to touch, babe."
His voice is getting deeper and sultry. Hitting tones that have her brain getting hazy the more she hears.
"And what beautiful eyes you have."
Slowly his hands glide down her sides and rest on her waist.
"And all they see is you, Lynsie. I only have eyes for you."
"Roy..."
"Shhhhhh..."
He trails kisses from her ear, along her cheek, and to the corner of her mouth.
"No more talk. Not right now."
"But..."
He locks eyes with her and any resolve to protest melts away.
"Share some sugar with me, sugar~."
"...Okay..."
He smiles coolly and she closes her eyes at the feel of his lips on her own. She doesn't know how he manages to do this to her. It's like he possesses this charm that has slowly captivated her over time. Each little gentle act, each moment of tender care, each sweet word he says, it all builds up the foundation to this place he's made in her heart. The love temple of Roy Koopa. Yeah, that's what he'd call it. Her affection slowly wavers and it gets his attention.
"Sugar? Ya okay?"
"Hm? Yeah, I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be?"
"I don't know. Ya seem a little...distracted."
"Just thinking about stuff and junk."
"Such as?"
"Nothing important really. Sometimes my head just rambles on in thought and it takes ages to make it shut off. I think that's why I have sleeping problems."
"Anythin' I can do to help?"
She gives pause for a moment.
"Well?"
"I don't know."
Seeing a chance, Roy makes a bold decision.
"Would it help if we got a bit more...comfortable?"
She looks at him funny.
"What do you mean by that?"
He lets her go and tugs on her shell. She rolls her eyes but lets him pull it off.
"Okay, so you got me out of my shell. Now what? In case you forgot, I'm human so that didn't do much."
He tosses the shell aside.
"Sweetheart, if we're to get to know each other, then it's best we know one another on our purest level."
She continues to look at him confused until he begins to remove his shell. That makes her turn away, blushing bright and embarrassed much to his enjoyment.
"Hey now...Why so shy? Ya can't honestly say you've never seen any of us shell-less. Heck, ya share a bed with the squirt for cryin' out loud."
"That's completely different!"
"Oh? And why's that?"
"Because you're someone special!"
That made the tough guy blush. This flustered side of her was adorable and it seemed to make her more vulnerable. Perhaps he could use this to his advantage.
"Sugar...Look at me."
She shakes her head.
"Lynsie...Please?"
She flinches but slowly turns her head. If he though her face was red before, the moment her eyes laid their sights on his purple boxer shorts those cheeks of hers became as red as the lava this land is famous for. Her embarrassment only increases when he creeps up behind her and pulls her against him.
"Babe, I don't know if I can take much more of this. I try to hold back out of fairness to what we agreed on, but this...You're not helpin' by bein' so dang temptin'."
His hands feel along her sides and she shivers.
"Ya have no idea the things I'd like to do to ya if only you'd let me."
"Oh my god, Roy..."
"Give me a chance, sweetheart. If ya don't like it, I'll stop. I respect ya too much to ever dream about makin' ya uncomfortable. So what do ya say?"
"I...I should go check on..."
"Nah, the old man has things under control. This is our time. Our moment. Forget about everythin' else. Ya need a break before ya end up broken. Stay with me. Be with me. Can ya do that for me, Lynsie? Can ya be a little bad with me? Even if only for a moment?"
He kisses along her neck and shoulder pleadingly. She mentally fights the advances as best she can, but as strong as she is, she's only human, and nothing can resist the Koopa charm for long. Not even her.
"Ahhh...man...Screw it!"
She turns around in his hold and kisses him deeply much to his delighted surprise. He doesn't ask why; he just accepts this victory and enjoys the rewards of his efforts. The timidly sweet embrace doesn't stay that way for long. No, far from it. With her now giving in to his desire, he forgoes the holding back he had been doing. His hands are all over her. One went up and cut her hair tie off with his claws, preferring her to look more wild with her hair down. There it remained to clasp the back of her head and keep control over this now heated moment. The other hand was on her back, kneading into her and pressing her more against him in ways that had his tail wagging in bliss.
Her play in all this wasn't as innocent as he figured she'd act. Once her arms were around him it was like another girl was showering him with affection. Her hands explore his now shell-less form with ravenous want, sending pleasure throughout him in all the right ways as her fingers trace over him. One of those soft hands claws occasionally at his back, drawing out of him these primal moans that made him tremble. Her other hand rubs his chest plastron platelets, teasingly moving up and down to the point his mind was coming undone. And at the pinnacle of a particularity long groan of his, she deepens the kiss with a little tongue action that finally unravels him.
"*moan* Sugar...Mmmmmm...Let's...oooooh...Let's go to the bed~."
She pauses and the lusty gaze of her eyes has him biting his lip in excitement.
"Roy, sweetie~..."
"Yes, sweetheart~?"
"Are you alright?"
Her voice sounded different. No longer holding the heated tone that it had before.
"Huh?"
"Are you alright, Roy?"
"When I'm with you, always."
"Roy? Hello? Can you hear me?"
This has him very confused. The mood has suddenly changed. But it doesn't take long for him to realize why. All of this, all this wonderful love they have been experiencing...It was all in his head.}
"Roy? Sweetie, you're worrying me. Please, say something."
This is so freaky. It's like somebody turned off his power. One minute I'm talking to him, the next he's zoned out and very quiet.
"Roy? Roy please...*whimper*"
Suddenly, the life returns to his eyes and kisses my nose before pressing his forehead to my own.
"Shhh...It's okay, sugar. Everythin' is fine."
"Where did you go? I thought I lost you."
I don't mean to sound clingy or overly attached. But I care about this guy and he honestly scared me. I think he can tell this too based on how his expression looks guilty.
"I'm sorry. I got lost in a dream."
I give him a little nuzzle for comfort and he does the same back.
"Are ya mad at me?"
"No...I was just scared."
"Do...Do ya wanna go or somethin'?"
I look at him strongly and he flinches.
"O-Okay...*nervous gulp* Do ya wanna..."
"Stop. No more talk. Not right now."
He frowns but nods his head. So we remain like that. Just holding each other in silence for as long as needed. I don't feel like talking. I'm too confused to speak. I don't want to let him go. My feelings are conflicted. I do not know if I really love Roy. But in those moments when he just seemed to disconnect for some reason...I felt something new. And it terrifies me to the bone.
"...Lynsie?"
I don't say a word. I only increase my hold.
"Man...I really messed up bad huh? Ya won't talk to me. You're tremblin'. No...This doesn't feel right at all. *annoyed groan* Why do I suck so bad at this?! The more I try, the more it seems like I'm messin' up. Now you're freakin' out and for what? Because I got caught up in a stupid fantasy? Damn it! Why is this so hard?! Why can't I just be the guy that'll do right by ya?!"
That has me snap out of my funk and look at him funny.
"Wait...What did you just say?"
"Huh?"
I let him go but only so that I can take hold of his face in both my hands.
"Where is this pity coming from? The Roy I know doesn't sound like this. My Roy is a strong Koopa that doesn't take nothing from nobody. My Roy is amazing. My Roy doesn't give up when things get hard. My Roy fights and does so like no one else. So you tell this wuss to take a hike because only the real Roy is wanted here."
His expression is still one of concern though it's a bit softer than it was.
"But I..."
"What? The fantasy thing? Dude, how often have you noticed me getting lost in thought? It's nothing to worry about. Hell, it's my fault for not recognizing that look on your face. I must space out all the time and worry you. I'm sorry, Roy..."
I let my hands fall to my sides.
"You're not the one making this harder than it needs to be. I am. I'm the problem."
Hearing that takes him by surprise. But as my words sink in, he glares at me.
"Now that's the stupidest thing I've ever heard."
"Roy?"
"How are you the issue? It's not like you are purposely messin' any of this up. Ya simply don't know how ya feel. That's not a reason to blame yourself."
"Do you not hear yourself? It is me that's the problem. I don't know how I feel. How do I not know how I feel? These are my feelings, yes? So how come I don't understand them? Why can't I give you a simple yes or no to if I like you? Because I know for a fact I do like you. You are Roy flipping Koopa! You are amazing! You're the kind of guy that is perfect for any gal out there but you beat the masses of fan-girls away because you know there's someone better. You know you deserve better. You won't settle for anything less. So why...Why do you bother with someone like me? Someone you don't know. Someone that's different. Someone that's so broken that at this point that..."
He cuts me off with a very abrupt and very passionate kiss. I initially feel the impulse to push him away. But I don't. In the fraction of a nanosecond made in the moment of contact, my body makes a choice for me, a choice, if left up to my more rational mind, wouldn't be able to do. I hold him tight and kiss him back. He doesn't stop to understand my sudden shift in going along with this. He doesn't stop because this is unusual, for me anyway. He stops because I'm bad at this and our teeth end up smashing.
"Ow!"
"*whimpering*"
"Ya okay?"
I nod but hold my mouth. He chuckles nervously and rubs his head.
"We got a bit carried away, huh?"
I make a gesture that reads of "just a little bit".
"Heh...I don't know what got into ya, but I like it."
"*muffled* Very funny."
"Nah, sugar, I mean it. Now I get why the old man calls ya spitfire. You're just full of surprises."
He laughs to himself and doesn't see the conflicted look I get. Why'd he have to mention Bowser now? I had all but had him out of my mind and was focusing on Roy till he said his name. Damn it. Does this mean I like Roy more than Bowser? Should I say something about this to any of them? I know I'm the one that's messed up with my inability to feel this out right, but in making them wait for me, am I just stringing them along and giving them false hope? Argh! I don't want to hurt them! I'm not a heartless monster!
"Sweetheart? Ya alright?"
I shake my head clear and put my hands down.
"Yeah, I'm good."
"Ya sure? Ya looked like somethin' was eatin' at ya."
I look down at the floor.
"Babe?"
"Roy...Did your heart ever want to ask a question that your head was too afraid to ask?"
He looks worried.
"Like what?"
I twiddle my fingers.
"...Am I a bad person?"
His eyes widen like I slapped him.
"W-Why would ya think that?"
"Because I feel like that."
"Sugar, there's no reason for ya to feel like that."
"Yes, there is. I can't stand you being in the dark as to why I'm messed up about all this."
"...Lynsie?"
My eyes start to water and my heart bursts.
"The reason I'm having trouble sorting my feelings out is because there IS another guy. One that's admitted his feelings for me and everything."
Roy tenses up, his hands ball up into tight fists.
"Who?"
His voice is calm, but I know that's a lie. Roy hearing something bad and then being chill about it is a huge warning that something is going to be wrecked in a major way. I regret saying anything for starting this avalanche that's about to hit. But I'm also relieved that I can get some of this off my chest.
"Promise you won't be mad?"
He huffs through his nose, his eyes drilling into me for answers I have yet to tell.
"...Depends. Do ya like this chump?"
Okay Lynsie, you have a very volatile dude in front of you, the next thing you say better be worded the right way or shit will hit not just the fan but EVERYTHING!
"Well...At one point, I liked him as much as I like you. But..."
"*snarl* But?"
"But...He recently did something very stupid and made me upset."
That made him half-smile. Partly because this was good news on his end yet still miffed him about me being upset because of what some guy did.
"So...What? Ya still like him?"
"I...I do. But if it makes a difference, I currently like you more."
"Oh?"
"Yes."
"For real?"
"The most real of reals."
He appears to relax to this but his guard is still up.
"That's good. My girl has fine taste. Ya know I'm better than that dweeb."
He puts a hand to my cheek and caresses with his thumb.
"Now tell me, sugar, who's the loser that's tryin', and failin' miserably, to steal ya from me?"
I don't think I can say anything else to make his mood better than it is now. Might as well spill the beans.
"Promise you won't be mad."
"Babe, the only way I'd be mad at this point is if you said it really was Waluigi or one of my brothers. Now come on...You can tell me. I promise I won't be mad. I mean, it's not like it's the old man or..."
My eyes break contact with him and he freezes, his hand falls from my face.
"You...Ya can't be serious."
I merely nod my head.
"B-But...But he has Peach...Why is he after you?"
I rub my arm sheepishly.
"That might have been my bad. I sort of showed him how Peach is trash and that he should be with a real woman that will treat him right. Apparently, I fit that bill."
Roy is silent and still for a while. I don't dare say or do anything during this time. Then he comes alive again. He roars out, flames bellowing up at the ceiling, and he stomps the floor harshly, causing a quake that sends me flying across the room.
"That #%*&$ selfish, self-centered, poor excuse for a ruler! He knew! He #%*&$ knew I was seekin' to make ya mine and he still went after ya?! He's gonna #%*&$ pay! I'm gonna #%*&$ make him pay dearly for this! Mark my words! That old man will learn what it means to #%*&$ with me! Right, sugar?! Sugar? ...Lynsie?"
"*groan*"
In the wake of being hurled across his room, it has come to my annoyingly painful attention that I have slammed into a very ill placed shelving unit and as such, I now ache in a variety of places I wish didn't. Thank goodness for this shell or I'd be in worse. Seeing this, Roy is panic-stricken and rushes over.
"Lynsie? Hey, are ya alright? Ah, crud...What have I done?"
"*chuckle* Bad boy...Not only did you break your promise to not get mad, but you swore a lot too. You owe the jar so much coin now."
I attempt to get up but he keeps me down.
"Easy now. Don't rush. Ya might be hurt."
"You worry too much. The shell took the brunt of it. This thing is more than a decoration you know."
He doesn't seem to understand my current okay mood after such an event happened.
"What? Why are you looking at me like that?"
"Why aren't ya ticked off at me?"
"Dude, it's not like you meant to do that. Accidents happen."
"But I..."
"You were upset and blowing off steam. I dropped a pretty big bomb on you and expect some collateral damage. Frankly, I imagined way worse. Like, you breaking out of the room and going after Bowser like a madman type thing. This was super tame by comparison."
I laugh this all off but he doesn't see it how I do. He punches a nearby wall and I freeze like a statue.
"R-Roy?"
He glares at the crater in the wall, letting the stone crumble around his hand before slowly pulling away and staring at his fist.
"I...I'm not sayin' sorry. I know you'll forgive me anyway, but I don't forgive myself."
"Roy, it's..."
"No...It's not okay, sugar. I can't control my anger. It's fine when I unload on some scumbag. But I won't risk hurtin' ya."
He looks at me with guilt then turns away.
"You should go. I have a lot to think about."
I look at him funny and get off the floor.
"No."
"I wasn't askin' ya."
"And I'm telling you, I won't leave. Not till I know you're okay."
He hangs his head low.
"That. That right there is somethin' I don't deserve."
"Oh my god...*sigh* Dude, leave the self-pity to me. It doesn't work on you."
"Sweetheart..."
"So making me leave and letting you beat yourself up is your big solution? Come on, tough guy, you're better than this. Let me help you to help you."
He looks at me over his shoulder.
"And how could ya possibly help me?"
I roll my eyes, starting to get annoyed by this.
"I'll explain as we do this. But I swear it'll help. So I just have to ask...Do you trust me?"
He looks conflicted.
"I don't know."
"Tell you what...If this works or not, I'll promise to do anything for you that you want. No questions asked."
That seems to put some of his usual pep back in his step.
"For real? No foolin'?"
"You have my word."
He thinks this over before finally answering.
"Alright, sugar. Ya got yourself a deal."
"Excellent."
I slip off my shell and his eyes widen with a faint blush coming to his cheeks.
"Uh..."
"Go on, tough guy. Take off your shell. You'll want to be more flexible for what I have in mind."
Now his faces burns bright and he can't toss his shell fast enough to his liking.
"Good. Now the fun can begin."
"I love ya."
I just smile at this silly boy. It's now time for me to work my magic and help him feel so much better.
[Meanwhile: Deep in Soda Jungle]
Four souls are lost. Hidden from each other within the dense overgrowth. The only beacon of reference for them to follow was the large plume of smoke that derived from a bomb's fire that is slowly being put out. But as with all things, such confusion won't last forever. Eventually, they will find one another and the chaos will begin again. Eventually, there will be harsh words said and destructive blows given. Eventually, the land will get sick of their bull crap and attack them to make them leave...Eventually.
The first to arrive at the smoldering ashes is Waluigi, his long legs carried him farther and faster than the other three. Waiting for any of the others to show up was a tedious task for the lanky man in lavender. Patience was never his strong suit. So when another human came into view, Waluigi was ready to burst into action. However, this human turned out to be his partner in crime and only friend, Wario.
"Wah!"
"Wah yourself."
"What's your problem?"
"I'm going nuts sitting here waiting for them to get back here."
"Well, genius, did you-a ever think that maybe they aren't headed this way?"
"No. But we did."
"And what's our track record for being in the right place at the right time?"
Waluigi opens his mouth to speak but nothing comes out after really giving it some thought.
"Yeah, that's what I thought."
"...Then what are we doing waiting around here for?! Let's head back to the castle and beat'em up before they get there!"
Waluigi takes off as Wario sighs and kicks a charred rock before starting to walk.
"I miss my motorcycle."
"Come on, slowpoke! Move those stumps you-a call legs!"
"*swearing under his breath*"
So the pair head back from whence they came. Completely unaware that not long after they leave the area, the Mario Brothers emerge from the treeline. Probably would've helped had they heard the frog and cricket noises, but go figure.
"Mario!"
"Luigi!"
Bro hug reunion moment!
"Do you-a think we got out before them?"
"Does it really matter? Let's just go. We've wasted enough time being sidetracked. We've got a Princess to save."
"Yeah! Let's-a go!"
Luigi skips away merrily and Mario follows behind in a less enthusiastic pace. Bad enough he already sounds like a weirdo with the sounds being made from the badge, but he didn't want to add anything else to this already odd day.
On the other end of the road, the negatives lay in wait for their positive counterparts. Like cats, they stalk the grounds around the castle and wait to pounce on their prey. But as time goes by, the cats slowly morph into less clever predators. Like, the kind of hunters that think they know what they're doing when in actuality they haven't the first clue in what the hell they're doing. For example, running around the castle like maniacs is not an effective way to be stealthy or intimidating method.
"Aaah! Where are they?!"
"I don't-a know?!"
"This is driving me crazy!"
"Do you-a think they got lost?"
"Maybe they got eaten. A lot of hungry things lurk in this zone."
"Maybe, but will that even matter?"
"What do you-a mean?"
"You-a ever notice that even when they get hurt, they just come back like nothing happened?"
"Yeah...They do do that."
"It's probably because of the coins they get along the way."
"What does that have anything to do with them?"
Wario sighs.
"No one's ever explained this to you-a before, have they?"
Waluigi looks at him confused.
"Okay, give me a second..."
Wario goes into the bushes. After a little bit, he returns with sickly looking Wiggler that's been tinted purple. Clearly, it's suffering the effects from poisonous water the area is known for.
"See this guy? It's not gonna make it. The humane thing to do is put it out of its misery."
Before Waluigi can say anything, Wario produces a Fire Flower and burns the creature till it poofs. When Wario stops, where the Wiggler once was is now a couple of coins. This further confuses Waluigi.
"Um...How did...?"
"There are two types of coins in this world, buddy. There is the coins we make, either by magic or manufacturing them. The other type of coin are the ones left behind when we die."
Waluigi pales.
"What?"
"Of course, not every time you-a die will the coins appear. Most commonly, fire will make the coins show up."
"Why?"
"I don't-a know. Something about fire purifying the body and the soul taking the form of gold coins or some junk like that. I was told this when I was a kid, so I don't-a remember much of the science behind it."
"Oh."
"Yeah, it's weird."
"Wait...If we only have one soul, why do some produce more than one coin?"
"I think that has something to do with the value of the person's life."
"How does..."
"I don't-a know! I'm not an expert on the subject."
Wario collects the coins.
"All I do know is this...When you-a gather 100 coins, you-a can add extra life to your own. This means, in case of suffering normally life ending damage that would mean death, the extra life allows you-a to be completely restored when the old life ends."
"Hold on...Are you-a saying that, if I gather 100 coins a bunch of times, I can live forever?"
"In theory, yes."
"Awesome!"
"But you-a have to take age into account. If you-a live to be a hundred and get close to dying, you'd probably just revert to a more healthy version of that same hundred-year-old fart. So it's a win-lose type deal."
"Hmmm...I see your point. It's one thing to live forever in my prime. But as an old man in diapers and missing my teeth? No. Not worth it."
"Agreed. But if there's a way to stop the aging..."
"Now that's a different story, my friend."
They share a wicked laugh together. As absolutely insane as this sounds, it's actually a common thing in this world but not often known. While Gold Flowers are power-ups which when collected, are able to shoot golden or silver fireballs that explode and do splash damage when they hit blocks, enemies, or walls. If enemies are hit by the projectiles, they will yield a number of coins. However, this is not what they are talking about. When you hit an enemy with a fire flower you get a coin. Very common knowledge. What most don't really understand is the why of fire being able to make coins of the dead.
The fire flower shoots fireballs. It burns its victims to a crisp, effectively cremating them alive, but in such a quick instance that death is painless. This intense heat does two things. One, it burns away the body and leaves nothing behind. And two, it solidifies the soul into a purely material form, aka, coins.
Such value of these souls is what inspired the world to use this likeness to represent the object of monetary value. Hence, the currency of the world is a tribute to the lives of those who have fallen. These soul coins tend to keep a consistent appearance, but, have been known to differ in size and look depending on the creature. An example of this is the Dragon Coins primarily found on Dinosaur Island. These are the souls of dead Yoshi and collecting five of them is the equivalent of 100 normal coins.
'Why don't other attacks give you coins though?' you ask. Its because the body isn't destroyed and the soul simply isn't released. 'Does that mean the Yoshies were burned to make their soul coins?' you ask again. No. Yoshies do not have to be burned to produce soul coins upon death as they have a unique byproduct of their species. When Yoshies eat anything, they produce essence coins. This means that Yoshies are able to process the Life Force of anything that they and it will be converted into coin. The effect of this process also shares the Life Force with the Yoshi, so upon death without fire, they too form a coin.
An oddity of all this is the undead. Beings such as Boos also have soul coins even though they have already passed on. The reason for this, as some believe, is because while the undead are, well, dead, they are now spirits. Spirits are restless souls. They continue to remain here even though they have shed their mortal coil. So, by that logic, it is reasonable as to why even an undead has a soul coin. They are using the power of their soul to remain on this world even though the body isn't what it use to be. They died deaths that were unfair in their eyes and not by fire, so they continue to be until their reason for remaining is solved.
Such is the interesting and rather bizarre world in which this is. Of course, Wario and Waluigi are none the wiser about all this. Nor are they able to pay attention when the Mario Brothers reach the castle and enter it's doors until it's too late. The doors are shut on their faces and the real funny part is they're locked out.
"Oh, crud! This isn't good."
"Uh...If anyone asks, we had put up a fight and they threw a cheap shot that allowed them to get through."
"...That'll work."
"I hope so."
"It's fine. We should totally be fine. I mean, it's not like they'll get by the Dragon Siblings."
"Yeah. Those two are dead men walking."
With that, the pair takes their leave. They may not have been successful in their mission, but if anything is for sure, three massive and very dangerous dragons will finish the job for them. At least...They hope so.
Just in case there is still some questions to my logic, I'll help clear up a few things. Using the Official Nintendo chart (google super mario bros size chart and it's the first image you see) we can see how tall a lot of them are, though I had to guess height for the Koopalings based on screen images of them next to each other, plus Mario and Luigi. Now the Nintendo-approved statue poster claims it to be "life-sized", thus putting Mario's height at 155 cm (5'1"). Using that information along with this universal size chart, it's possible to estimate the height of all of the mainstays of the franchise. From shortest to tallest: a Goomba is 72 cm (2'4"); a Boo is 79 cm (2'7"); Baby Mario is 89 cm (2'11"); Baby Luigi is 90 cm (2'11"); a Shy Guy is 100 cm (3'3"); Toad, Toadette, and Toadsworth are 103 cm (3'5"); Diddy and Dixie Kong (on their knuckles) are 113 cm (3'8"); a Koopa Troopa is 120 cm (3'11"); a Dry Bones is 124 cm (4'1"); Bowser Jr. is 131 cm (4'4"); a Hammer Bro. is 142 cm (4'8"); a Bullet Bill is 148 cm (4'10") long and 96 cm (3'2") in diameter; a Wiggler is 159 cm (5'3") tall (not including the flower) and who knows how long; Wario and Birdo are 170 cm (5'7") (Birdo is 196 cm [6'5"] if you include her bow); Luigi and Yoshi are 175 cm (5'9"); Lakitu (including cloud) is 179 cm (5'10"); Daisy is 180 cm (5'11"); Donkey Kong (on his knuckles) and Peach (!) are 186 cm (6'1"); Waluigi (with his knees bent a bit) is 216 cm (7'1"); Bowser is 262 cm (8'7"); and Petey Piranha is a whopping 389 cm (12'9"). Normal Piranha Plants seem to vary in height depending on how long their bodies are, but the diameter of their heads is about 111 cm (3'8"). Now for the even harder part, character ages. When it comes to Jr.'s age and that of the Koopalings, I used their first game appearance as their birth year and added till now, this is why Jr. is 15 as Super Mario Sunshine came out 15 years ago and it's his first game. I'll explain why his age and his appearance don't seem to match later on, but after words I hope it'll make sense to you like it does to me.
If there are any questions, feel free to ask.