Hey, all!

I'm back!

Sorry for the short chapter... It's all I could think of for this chapter. I've been working on other stuff too btw. So I'll be posting new stuff soon!

Sorry for the wait and the short length... It's only just over 2,000 words...sorry DX

And I told some of you I would post it 5 hours ago... But I just got home so SORRY!

ENJOY

Chapter 25- Silence that deafens

(Ed's POV)

Two Months, Four weeks and one day (January)

(A/N A week after Ed got attacked by Charles, just a reminder. It has been a month or so)

A deep throbbing pain was what dragged Ed from his uneasy sleep. His memory dull and empty, his body pinned down by its own weight. His eyes blinded by the light on the other side of his eye lids. Though he still decided to slide his eyes open, slowly. His eyes met the back of a military coat which was atop of an officer sitting on the edge of his bed.

His senses turning on, the smell of smoke and ash he noticed filled the coat. His ears hearing a booming, militaristic voice.

A second voice a soulful, metallic, child. Uttering words quietly with the other.

His brain finally recognising the officer, Roy. And the child, Alphonse.

He waited for them to make a move.

He waited what felt like ten agonising hours of his throbbing... whole body really. He decided to attempt to sit up... push his upper half up... to move his arm... to move his hand... to groan in the painful pit of moving he just created.

"Oh, Fullmetal. Finally deciding to join the land of the living." Roy's voice stern, which then softened "How are you feeling, Ed?"

He just groaned and curled his head into the pillow, closing his eyes. His head deciding to formulate a headache, on the edge of a migraine.

"I'll go get a nurse for you, nii-san. I'll see if you can get something more for the pain." His baby brother, standing as quietly a suit of armour can be, leaving him and Roy.

"You never answered my question, Fullmetal." A joking stern voice.

"Shit..." He mumbled

"Do you remember how this happened?"

Memories flooding in as the dam wall broke to his dull waste land of his past experiences.

He nodded and muttered "Charles..."

His eyes shooting open and his head jerking upwards. "Mark!" Quickly shooting back down from pain.

Roy placing his hand on the back of his head "Mark is completely fine. He's in the next room. Okay."

More memories, he wished he never had, emerging. Chocking back a sob he quietly whispered, "...Sam..." sniffling his now running nose.

'Don't you dare ever give up! You'll never be alone, don't forget that! NEVER GIVE IN! For me...' Her last words playing back in his mind, over and over, 'Don't you dare ever give up! You'll never be alone, don't forget that! NEVER GIVE IN! For me...'

Over and over

'Don't you dare ever give up! You'll never be alone, don't forget that! NEVER GIVE IN! For me...'

Over and over and over again

'Don't you dare ever give up! You'll never be alone, don't forget that! NEVER GIVE IN! For me...'

Not noticing he was crying and being held by Roy.

Over and over and over again, never stopping

'Don't you dare ever give up! You'll never be alone, don't forget that! NEVER GIVE IN! For me...'

Not noticing being rocked gently and being hushed

Again and again, until it would stop hurting

'Don't you dare ever give up! You'll never be alone, don't forget that! NEVER GIVE IN! For me...'

Not noticing his brother come back in

It would never stop hurting. So it kept going.

'Don't you dare ever give up! You'll never be alone, don't forget that! NEVER GIVE IN! For me...'

No noticing his breathing wasn't right.

Over and over

'Don't you dare ever give up! You'll never be alone, don't forget that! NEVER GIVE IN! For me...'

Not noticing he was shaking. Not noticing that that was an unbearable pain.

Never stopping

'Don't you dare ever give up! You'll never be alone, don't forget that! NEVER GIVE IN! For me...'

Not noticing the needle enter his arm.

Repeating the same stabbing end

'Don't you dare ever give up! You'll never be alone, don't forget that! NEVER GIVE IN! For me...'

Not noticing he was uttering the words

The unbearable notion of her passing, always quiet, always alone. Always in fault.

'Don't you dare ever give up! You'll never be alone, don't forget that! NEVER GIVE IN! For me...'

But of course, the needle called the darkness of rest, that he called hell. That he begrudgingly let take hold of him.

(Roy's POV)

The chimera behind him let out a very pained sounding groan. Disturbing his conversation with Alphonse.

"Oh, Fullmetal. Finally deciding to join the land of the living." Accidentally sounding stern, altering his tone to lessen the stressful situation "How are you feeling, Ed?" adding his naturally given name.

The kid just groaning and burrowing his head into the pillow.

'I'll take that as a fucking kill me, I'm in too much pain to have a conversation.'

Roy looked behind him and signalled Al to get the nurse, "I'll go get a nurse for you, nii-san. I'll see if you can get something for the pain." Taking the hint and leaving.

"You never answered my question, Fullmetal." Trying to lighten the mood.

"Shit..." Only just loud enough

"Do you remember how this happened?"

Slowly nodding and muttered "Charles..."

Ed out of nowhere shooting his head up as he quietly yelled "Mark!" His head slamming back down into the pillow in pain.

He placed his hand on the teens head, comforting him "Mark is completely fine. He's in the next room. Okay."

He pulled back a sob as he whispered "...Sam..."

Roy knew this wasn't going to end well. Mark warned them of a break down. But even without the hint, he would have seen a panic attack coming.

He began crying, his panic coming quickly and he was quick to act.

Roy pulled the chimera into his arms and began rocking him.

"Shh... It's okay. Let it out. Its going to be okay. Shh..."

Alphonse walked in with a nurse.

Ed's breathing was uneven and broken with sobs. Shaking uncontrollably. Causing him pain, Ed's torn muscles erupting in pain.

"Don't... give up... never alone... don't forget... For me..." Ed muttered

"He's having a panic attack, nurse." Roy announced "Can you give him something to calm him down?" The nurse quickly filling a syringe with something to calm the shaking, panicking and in pain teen, chimera.

"Don't... give up... never alone... don't forget... For me... Don't... give up... never alone... don't forget... For me..." His words shaken and horse.

The nurse quickly loading his blood stream with drugs.

"Don't... give up... never alone... don't forget... For me..." The teen mumbling the last of his memories before collapsing into his arms as the drugs took over his already tired body.

"He should be out for four hours. But I'm sure he will be out for longer due to his injuries. Call any one if you need anything." Her fake smile trying to blind the sad situation called Edward Elric.

Once the nurse vacated the area, Alphonse spoke up.

"Will nii-san be okay?"

"I am sure he will be. I am certain he will be fine. He is strong. He'll make it." Shifting Ed into a better position.

"I'm going for a short walk. I'll be back soon. I need air after Ed's little... panic attack." Though Alphonse wouldn't need air for his non existent lungs, he knew to leave him to soak, but knowing for too long wouldn't be good for his mental state.

"Don't be too long. Be back before Riza comes. She'll be here in about five hours." Seeing the worry painted on the expression lacking helmet. "Don't worry about Edward. He'll be fine. He always is."

Hearing the clucking as the armour that carried the child's soul, left the room, down the hall.

'Poor kids...'

Five Months, Four weeks and one day (February)

Ed was sprawled over the double bed. Covers on the floor, pillows in the same location. Sweat covering everywhere he was positioned. His leg bent over the edge of the bed. Automail arm covering his eyes, face scrunched up.

Though he was still fast asleep.

"Rough night kid." He just smiled and sighed at the still recovering teenage chimera.

Roy shifted his subordinary so his arm didn't rest on his face and he was lying in a respectable manner. Pulling the sheets from the floor to his chin, covering his feet.

"You need some rest. I'll get Al to feed you something later." He quietly noted as he slowly and quietly shut the door.

Meeting Al in the living room. "I've let him sleep."

"Rough night?"

"His bed was everywhere. Just make sure he gets two meals today, Alphonse. He's still healing so make sure he takes it easy. Make sure he has his medication and call me if you need anything."

"Thank you, Roy. Have a nice day." The armour waving him off as he made it out of the house to work.

(Ed's POV)

Ed always woke up slowly since he was put on all of his 'medicine' to 'make him better'.

He was put on antidepressants and a more than strong painkiller, which knocked him out in a second.

His muscles were all damaged, 50% of them were completely torn. The other half only ripped, bruised or who knows what else, but all of his muscles were damaged on some way.

And this hurt. Hurt like hell.

And he can't even walk alone yet.

A normal person would be out for at least a year to heal. It had been about two weeks and he was already half way healed and showing quickened, once more, healing. He would fully recover in a month if... if it weren't for his violent nightmares, which caused him to thrash, which could tear and had torn muscles. So this slows his recovery by a month or so. 4 months in total.

And Ed hated it. He hated it all.

The healing

The pain

The helplessness

The stop in research

He hated it all.

Ed woke up to cold under his cheek.

He kept taking deep even breathes as he heard a sweet hum echoing off cold walls. The hum of a song he heard as a child. A song his mother sung them when they were sad or the brothers had a fight.

He was loaded up on antidepressants, painkillers and pain which the painkillers were meant to shield him from. The song always made him want to crawl into a corner. Not because of the memories. Not because of the echo. But because everyone was attempting to 'cheer him up'. He hated it.

He wasn't weak.

He wasn't scared.

He wasn't... he wasn't... broken... Not like everyone said. He was just... just... just... really... really... lonely. He may of had nightmares. He may of had panic attacks. He may have flash backs. He may not be able to walk. He may... cry.

But he wasn't weak.

His emotions went overdrive and his drowsy nature made his brain almost shut down. His thoughts just melting at the tune of his brother voice, the longer he listened, the more he just drifted in his empty brain. The odd image of Sam, Al, Trisha, Charles, all of the people in his life, just floated in and out freely.

A shock of pain ran down the back of his neck. He groaned in pain as he opened his eyes.

"How are you feeling, Brother? Your neck sore?"

He just groaned in reply.

"I'll get you a heat pack. And it's time for your medication and some food. I'll bring it up."

Ed didn't say anything in reply. He never did say much now. There was no point. All he did was yell for her in his head. Always pleading. Never getting any attention or answer.

Silence was defending.

He was alone in his head.

And he just hated... everything his life had become.

Alphonse, his body

Sam, her life

Joe, his humanity

Trisha, her life

Van, his support

Nina, her life

Roy, his hope

Cameron, his life

His own self, his body, sanity, hope, courage, dreams, fire, strength... everything he had.

But he still held his fake smile, trough the panic attacks, through the nightmares and through his depression. Al didn't need to see him as a hollow shell.

For Al, he would fake... everything... Everything would be alright... for Alphonse it would be okay.

'For my brother, who lost more than I have.'