I let myself fall to the floor in a vacant motel room, feeling like a sack of shit. I feel like a monster, a deceiver. I feel like what I have done is for my own self-interest. I feel alone, in despair. Just utterly alone.
It doesn't help that the room is pitch black.
No, it's perfect. I should stay here like this.
Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Get up. Do something.
I slowly get up, sort of listening to Clotho, and lock the door only to crawl into bed. I won't be able to sleep so easily after everything that just happened, but it's that need to crawl under a rock and die. I didn't want Mick to find out that way. I'm angry at Amelia for ruining it, but I guess I deserved it. But Mick didn't deserve it. Now he's in shock, knowing he's immortal and the only ones that can comfort him are the very pissed off Amelia and Lindsey and the not-so-sensitive-at-the-moment Winchesters because they're mad at me too.
See? I'm a monster. I'm a bitch. I'm the bitch who played God and left Mick to live with eternity.
Celeste, you are too hard on yourself.
And you made me do it!
I gave you the power to do what had to be done. I know it sounds selfish of me to ask that you bind yourselves to the Moirai, but it is important. Our vessels die and that was before something as powerful as Lucifer and his Nephilim child were a problem. Plus, Mick can't be the only immortal. Look at Dorian Grey. That didn't pan out so well.
Dorian Grey isn't real.
But Mick is.
Mick probably doesn't want to talk to me anyway, angry that I brought him back just to endure more crap from the Men of Letters, his life taken away like he claimed mine to be by the Moirai. I also took a choice away from him. And he's probably appalled at what I did to the girls, to myself. He's probably wondering why.
Why to everything.
In time, he will seek you.
Yeah right!
I bury my head in the pillow, just wanting to sleep and never wake up. I wonder if this was all a mistake, although a part of me still feels like it was right. Despite the shit, I don't seem to regret any of it. I just feel shitty about myself.
Figure that fucking shit out.
In a moment, all sleepy darkness shifts. It's a ruined temple out on the pond that looks like poison struck every plant and is slowly killing everything. Even the air, filled with fog and stink, seems to be poisoned. The sky is dark and starless, which seems strange to me.
I stand all alone in this place looking at the temple on the pond. It looks sad, like it wants to be renewed and made pretty again. It wants the plants to grow again and for the sun to shine. It seems to beg me for help, to break the curse.
If ruined temples could talk, it would say fucking kill whatever is poisoning this once beautiful place.
"You are the Moirai in the twenty-first Century. My, you are powerful. I see you did the binding. Clever girl." Says a female voice I know doesn't belong to me. I glance around and see no one. The voice just echoes all around.
"Show yourself." I demand and she laughs.
"Oh, so strong. You make a fine Clotho. The others weren't as strong as you." She replies and I wait, knowing she's playing a game with me that I refuse to play. "Have we gone silent? Why?" She asks me.
"Get to the point and I'll converse with you, otherwise you can have fun talking to yourself." I reply and she gives a low rumble type of laugh. Find that amusing? Keep pissing me off…
"I am the seer. I imagine you know what a seer is." She replies and I stay silent, not bothering to answer that. "Look into the water." She says and I reluctantly go towards the pond, seeing a glow ripple on the water. It shimmers and then I see a huge white building with people walking, all in white, escorting people who's behaviour is hiding well enough their instability. It reminds me of Girl, Interrupted. Damn that's a good movie. "This is where you'll find me." The voice says and I frown at it.
"Just where is this?" I ask, not knowing if this is a hospital or home for special people. I don't know. I don't like it.
"Pembroke's Home for the Mentally Ill." She replies and I quickly stop any intention of laughing. This voice is in the looney bin? That's funny. If the voice is in the looney bin, shouldn't the person hearing it be too?
All joking aside, that's where I should be, although I know I'm not crazy. Although I'm hearing voices and seeing ruined temples and bringing people back from the dead with spells and calling myself a Fate. I am crazy.
"And why am I going to find you?" I ask my invisible visitor.
"Because I know where to find the book." She says and I sort of freeze, knowing exactly what book. The book the Moirai used rather than thread. Atropos had it and when she died, the book was lost. Clotho said it was destroyed. How can this nutcase say she knows where it is if a Fate says it was destroyed? I sense a trap, a total trap. "Yes, I thought you'd like to know." She adds and based on that tone, I know she's not telling me this to be nice, if she's right. She wants something in return.
"What's the catch?" I ask her and she's silent for a brief moment.
"I'll tell you when you get here." She replies and I cross my arms over my chest, standing my ground.
"Like Hell. You'll tell me now." I reply and she remains silent for a brief moment.
"I want you to do me a favour." She says rather easily. Ah, she needs me more than I need her. Figures. "I'm old and I'd like to regain a few years." She replies and I roll my eyes, not sure how the Hell I'd manage that, but I have to humour the old bitch. "I know many spells. I can tell you. I can even tell you spells you want to know, perhaps concerning the other two. Lachesis and Atropos." She adds, as if knowing my deep inner thoughts and desires. She offers that like a blood soaked cloth over a shark's nose.
I got over the idea of taking in all three Fates, because Clotho made it clear that she would like her own space. However, it would be easier if I could just be all three Fates. Amelia and Lindsey would be free and they wouldn't have a reason to hate me.
It's perfect, despite the fact I don't know what's the procedure for a spell like that. I can't imagine it being harmless.
"What's the address?" I ask and she snickers, reminding me of the typical evil character with the evil laugh, planning something wicked for the helpless and naive damsel.
Yeah, fuck the helpless and naïve damsel. I know what the Hell I'm doing.
"You can find me without it, girl." She says and everything fades.
I wake up, eyes shooting open in bed, feeling invigorated. Although I don't really like the sound of this seer, things might just turn around.
However, I doubt it'll work out for Mick and me. Well, I doubt anything working, but isn't this rock bottom? The worst is can ever be? Why not, right?
I look at the alarm clock glowing shortly after two in the morning. I need a bit more sleep before I go off into the unknown for some crazy old bat. I might be immortal, but I need my sleep!