Apart By More Than Words
Chapter 25
Welcome to this place
I'll show you everything
With arms, wide open.
The pregnancy went by so much quicker than either of us thought it would. The entire time Dan waited on me hand and foot. It was exactly how I imagined he would have been. We took so many pictures and bought so much clothes and toys. Dan thought we would have had to build an extra room to hold it all.
On a clear spring morning. In the early hours of the day.
Quinn Jennifer Humphrey was born.
I could barely speak with the amount of love and thankfulness I felt.
She was beautiful. Dan's dark hair. My eyes. And this look on her face of curiosity. She was wide awake. I remember counting her fingers and toes. She was a good baby. Cried only when she needed something. I slept when I could. Dan was so hands on with her. I thought to myself. You made the right choice. He was going to be the dad she deserved. As for myself I loved her probably more than I'd ever loved anyone.
Days went into months and years passed.
Before we finished got a second to absorb it at all.
She had turned three years old.
Full of life and so funny. Loved dress up and clothes. Playing in my shoes and messing with makeup.
She could get away with anything when it came to her daddy. She had him wrapped around her heart. They had such a close relationship. Always doing something together and spending time together.
I saw myself in her in a lot of ways. So much as she got older. It used to scare me wondering what a teenager her would be like. We had our own mother and daughter activities. The spa and the park and cooking. She liked to help me bake. Really get her hands dirty and decorating whether it was sprinkles or frosting.
When she wasn't surrounding our days with her laughter and fun. She spent days or nights with aunt Jenny. Who she completely adored. Looked up to. Went to movies and art galleries and aquariums with hand and hand.
Parenthood. Brought Dan and I closer in every aspect of our relationship.
There were moments. I didn't want to sleep because I couldn't stand to miss a moment.
I fell in love with him. All over again. Seeing him as a father just made me see him as this even deeper more emotionally available generally loving man.
I'll admit I didn't appreciate it the way I should have. And that is something.
That will forever eat away at me. He loved me with every single ounce of himself.
Selfishly though I wanted more of something I couldn't place. To be honest even after all this time. I still don't understand why I acted the way I did.
Dan wanted more kids. A son or another daughter. He always brought it up.
I felt like we had our hands full and needed to put all our energy into her.
I could be a real bitch. I felt trapped. In a life, I so desperately wanted or so that's what I told myself.
Dan never faulted me for my lack of family orientated nature.
He made up for it. Being the best father and husband he could be. I figured eventually someday he would have enough and end up leaving me and taking her with him.
The sad part is considering the way things truly ended. I would of rather that.
Serena said as she wiped her eyes. Pausing as she took a breath.
Before she continued.
We were going on a family trip. That day is so clear I smell the grass and hear the animals from the farms that lived close by as we drove. Straight through dirt roads.
Seeing Dan's smile as he looked back at Quinn asleep in the back seat.
The sun was setting it was my turn to drive. We had been switching drivers every couple of miles.
While the darkness started to take over the sky. It was nice and peaceful.
Then it started to rain. Slow at first then it poured. The raindrops hitting the window. Quicker by the minute.
I had insisted I was fine I could keep driving. So, I did. Minutes went by fast. The night enclosing on me. At least that's how it felt. Cars ran past us at both sides. Halfway there now.
I had a new confidence realizing that I was going to make it there.
My hands shook. I was more nervous then I let on. Switching lanes.
A sign I had missed. Lights were hard to see. Instead of break.
I hit the gas.
There was a hit. Loud. Deafening.
One minute there was laughter then it was silent. Everything went black.
Serena stopped unable to move. The memory trapping her.
When I woke up. I was in the hospital. Dan was holding my hand.
The way he always had. The look on his face was different.
His voice was empty as if he struggled to speak.
He looked away. His face pale. And tear stricken.
As he spoke. Slowly. "Quinn is dead." He said tears welling up in his again.
The doctor had come in. Went on about sudden impact.
I blacked out. I hear them say get this man a gurney.
Dan had collapsed. It was all too much. Those days following as I recovered in the hospital. Are a blur.
The funeral was full of tears and words I can never place. Faces I don't recognize.
I didn't care about anything anymore. My marriage. My husband. My Life.
All of it meaningless to me. Passing her room every day. Made me sick.
I couldn't look at myself.
Dan tried to talk to me and reach me. Needing to deal with his own pain as well.
Days lost their color and track of time. The house was dark. Even with lights on.
Neither of us stepped foot. Into her room.
Until a year later.
I walked close by the outside of the door and heard Dan crying in there.
I slammed open the door. And yelled at him.
"Why are you here!" I said to anger filling my entire being.
"You won't even talk about her." "I can't deal with this by myself." "And I shouldn't to we were her parents." He said as his voice broke.
"Don't you think I know that!" I yelled.
"Every single day I wake up it hits me all over again."
"She's gone because of me." "I couldn't just let you drive." I said wiping my eyes.
"Go get out of here." "Leave me." "I lost her I might as well lose you to." I said to him.
As he tried to comfort me. But I pushed him away. Until he had no choice but to leave for good.
One my first night alone in the house. I drank until I started seeing her.
She smiled and stuck her hand out for me to take when I woke up. She was gone.
Dan moved out. I ignored his every attempt at contacting with me.
And then I was gone. On the move, again. To California. Leaving Serena behind and the ghosts that haunted my mind and broke my heart.
Serena said as she got up and left the room.
Nate speechless. Watched her walk away.
Author's Note: Now that the whole story has been told. What are your thoughts on Serena? Dan? and Quinn? Do you have a better understanding as to why Serena is so closed off? And where do Nate and Serena go from here? Let me your thoughts on is chapter in the reviews.
See you next time.