Loving without Fear

The elevator doors opened and the silver haired Marine emerged. He looked at the man from Internal Affairs, just leaning against the counter and talking to the receptionist. He felt disgusted and angry. He grabbed the man by the back of his shirt and slammed him against the wall. His hands wrapped around the man's neck as he maintained enough control not to strangle him.

"It was you!" he yelled in the disgusting man's face.

"What?" he barely managed to choke out through his crushed windpipe.

"You're the one who hurt him!" the Maine continued to yell.

"Hurt who?"

He slammed the man's head against the glass wall, causing a large crack in the glass to form.

"You know who I'm talking about!" he hissed in the man's face.

"Jethro?" the redhead quietly said as he walked out of a room. "Jethro, what's going on?"

"Abby called me," the silver haired man said, keeping his grip on the man's neck and his eyes locked on his reddening face. "She told me DNA results were back from a case I investigated a few months ago."

"What case?" the redhead inquired, not daring to move from where he stood as an unexpected panic began to fill him.

"A rape case where the victim was ruffied and sodomized for who knows how long after he was unconscious," the Marine growled, never taking his eyes off the Internal Affairs worker.

The redhead's face suddenly flushed and his breathing became more labored.

"Oh god," he quietly said, shaking his head, "Oh god no."

"Yeah, turns out our friend Rick here knew a lot more about that case that he let on," the Marine said, tightening his grip on the man's neck.

"No, you didn't," the redhead stuttered as people began to gather in the corridor.

"Horatio," the man choked out, "stop him, please."

"Shut your mouth!" the Marine yelled, slamming the man's head against the glass again. "You don't have a right to talk to Horatio after what you did!"

"I didn't do anything!" the man attempted to plea.

"Yes you did," the silver haired man growled in his face. "You're the one who hurt him."

"But I didn't!"

"You can't weasel your way out of this one, Stetler!" the silver haired man barked at him. "We recovered your DNA. I guess you're not as smart as you thought you were."

"But I didn't touch him!"

"Then why was your semen inside him?"

The Internal Affairs worker was silent as he stared into the depths of the silver haired man's angry blue eyes.

"You raped me?" the redhead quietly said as he stepped towards where the two men stood.

"No, I didn't!" the man snapped.

"Bullshit!" the redhead suddenly yelled. "I would never want someone like you! You're a greasy, lying, cheating bastard! I know you hurt Yelina all those years ago and you just had to get your revenge!"

"Horatio, listen to me!"

There was a loud crunching as the redhead's fist smashed into the man's face. Blood poured from his nose as he coughed and choked on his own blood.

"You're a rapist, Rick," the redhead sneered in his face. "You may have over powered me that night, but you don't control my life! I'm going to move past this! I will be stronger someday! I will be able to look at the man I love and not fear him seeing me naked, knowing I'm damaged! But you, Rick, you're going to wake up everyday in a prison cell and wonder what your life would have been like if you had just left me alone."

He turned and walked away from them, holding his head high and his dignity upon his shoulders. The silver haired man glared at the man one last time before he released his hold and patrol units gathered the man away. He followed the path his lover had taken and found him alone in the locker room, crying silently on a bench. He sat beside the other man and gently held his hand.

"I remembered as soon as you said it," the redhead whispered. "As soon as you said it was Rick, I remembered running into him at the bar. We chatted for awhile about work and life. Then he offered to buy me a drink. He came back and that's when everything just becomes a blur. I remember being in a taxi and then shoved onto a bed and my clothes removed. He ripped my underwear off, tore them to pieces, didn't even bother to remove them nicely. Then he shoved himself inside me without prepping me or using lube. He asked me if that was how I liked it; if I liked having someone shove their dick in my ass again and again. Then he did it again and again and again, each time hurting worse than the last. He never looked at my face. I was shoved against the mattress on my stomach. He kept asking if that was how me and my fag liked it."

"Your brain must have repressed the memories," the silver haired man whispered. "You know, it was trying to protect you."

"If only I had remembered sooner we could have caught him," the redhead quietly muttered. "Who knows how many other people he's hurt since me."

The silver haired man gently held his lover in his arms and kissed him lightly, as tears began to crawl down the younger man's face.

"It's not your fault, Horatio," he whispered between kisses. "You were hurt. It's a natural occurrence for the brain to suppress memories that will cause distress."

"I love you, Jethro," the redhead whispered as he began to hungrily devour the other man's mouth.

"I love you, too, Horatio," the Marine whispered.

The redhead gently guided the other man onto the bench and fumbled with his belt. Before either knew it the redhead was stretching him with slick fingers as he lowered his own pants down his waist. The silver haired man gasped with pleasure as his lover filled him with his hard desire.

It was slow and gentle as the two men made love in the locker room. The redhead's tears ran down his face and onto his lover's as he whispered "I love you" again and again against his ear.

He came deep inside the older man's body, filling him with his essence and making the man his own once again. He slowly pulled from his tight core, his entire body shaking. The silver haired man reached over and carefully helped him clasp his pants close, before working on his own clothing.

They stood together, the redhead leaning against his locker. The silver haired man gently kissed him and held him close to his body.

"Thank you, Jethro," the redhead whispered in his ear.

"You're welcome, Horatio," he whispered in response. "The department didn't want to pursue the case when you refused to cooperate, but I couldn't let it go. I had to find the bastard who did this to you. Ryan sent the sample to me. I had Abby run the semen for DNA. It took awhile to get the sample up to DC, but we did it. We caught him."

"I love you, Jethro Gibbs," the younger man whispered.

"And I love you more than anyone in this world, Horatio Caine," the Marine whispered in response. "Your life is worth more to me than my own."

Originally I was going to have Horatio's rapist be just some random guy and have Gibbs beat the shit out of him or something along those lines. Then I realized just how personal of a crime this was for Horatio and Gibbs. After a little consideration I decided to make it someone they knew, and who better then a sleaze ball like Stetler? I've personally never liked the guy. Plus the chapter I wrote about Stetler harassing Horatio about his tax forms really helped with the decision making process.