A/N: I am so sorry for the lack of updates. The only excuse I can muster is that Acacya had me in the grips of her powers of writers block. I finally managed to beat her off and write this really quick before she attacks me again with it. So, please enjoy!
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.
"I believe it's Hermione's turn," Harry declared, remembering the Acacya stunt she had pulled and once more had little sympathy for his friend. Hermione shot Harry a glare but took her allotted space on the squishy reading chair. She could hardly be a hypocrite, could she?
Back at the castle, Acacya and Harry were walking hand-in-hand down the corridor. Albus had excused them from even more classes so they had endless time to spend together. It was a good thing that Albus understood that Harry NEEDED this time with Acacya. He luved her 2 much and couldn't bare to be separated from her, even for classes.
"I love you," Harry whispered in Acacya's ear. Acacya giggled and it sounded like the rain madding sweet melodious sounds against river stones.
"I know," she replied.
"Oh… gag…" Ginny choked and seemed to turn green as the scene continued.
"What do you say we…" Harry suggested, jerking his head over in the direction of a closet with a mischievous smile.
"Oh, not in a broom closet Harry," Acacya protested, winking her nose. "Let's go somewhere else." ("Well NOW she chooses to follow some rules," Hermione snapped irritably).
"Of course my luv," Harry agreed and whisked her off to a romantic spot.
Someone was waiting for them. ("Eww…")
Harry and Acacya opened the door to their dorm, giggling, when something stopped them in mid-tickle.
"What are YOU doing here?" Acacya snarled and leaped out of Harry's arms, then wrapping her arm with Harry's.
"Get out of here," Harry growled, pulling Acacya behind him protectively. Acacya nearly swooned at the romanticness of it all.
It was Luscious Malfoy, the evil clown father to Draco.
"Hello children," he sneered and flicked back a piece of bleached hair. "And how are you?" Despite being terribly frightened, Acacya had to admit that Luscious looked rather dashing when he was sneering at them.
"No!" Draco yelped and plugged his fingers with his ears. "I am not hearing this!"
"Maybe your mother wrote this Malfoy," Harry suggested casually. Draco just shot him a withering glare and his fingers twitched toward his wand.
"Come on now," Remus interjected wearily, "let's be nice to each other. Just because Draco's dad is in the story doesn't mean that we have to start attacking each other all willy-nilly."
"Did you just say 'willy-nilly'?" Hermione asked, bemused. Remus shrugged and seemed to be too exhausted to argue his usage of the word.
"Just keep reading," Ron suggested.
"Sorry if I am intruding," Luscious apologized with malice. "Eye just needed to have a word with the lady."
"Never," Harry snarled before Luscious could continue. "You can just get out of our room now."
"I'm afraid I can't," Luscious replied and his grin spread even wider. "I have my orders, you c."
"What orders?" Acacya demanded from behind Harry, desperate to try and get a word into the conversation.
"Orders to kidnap you my dear and take you to my Master," Luscious explained. "He is simply so excited to… meet you." Acacya gasped and Harry tightened his grip on her elbow.
"You'll have to kill me first," Harry declared and stared straight into Luscious's eyes. Luscious shrugged.
"Unfortunately, those are not my plans. So I'll simply have to take her right from under your knows," Luscious said sadly and waved his wand. Acacya felt herself being ripped from Harry's hands and over to Luscious.
"Acacya!" Harry bellowed and stood in shock as he stared after her.
"Harry!" Acacya shrieked as she felt Luscious's warm, sexy hand grip her shoulder.
"So long Harry," Luscious said and then flew straight out of the window. Acacya screamed all the while.
"Harry! I love you!" she screamed into the night as Luscious dragged her through the night, his free hand outstretched like Superman.
Harry fll to the ground and hid his head in his hands. It was 2 awful 2 be true. Acacya couldn't be gone forvr. It was 2 soon!
Ron and Draco ran up to the room to see what was wrong. Their Acacya senses had been tingling (hee!) and they had rushed up to the dormitory to see what was going on. ("This is pathetic.")
"Harry!" Ron shouted. "What's wrong? We heard screaming again!" ("… Again??")
"Where's Acacya?" Draco asked, searching the room for his secret lover.
"She's gone," Harry gasped and began to cry. "Your father came and took her from me." Draco stood, frzn in shock.
"I'm really rather surprised that we aren't hearing exactly what Acacya was thinking as she was kidnapped," Ginny pointed out, a little confused. "Why would she bother talking about how other people were feeling?"
"Well, either way she's bloody annoying," Draco snapped, looking livid. He couldn't understand why this crazy girl would want to spell his father's name as 'Luscious' but it was really irritating him. His father was a feared and respected Death Eater… not luscious.
"Well, why are we complaining?" Harry squeaked from his corner. "It's not a bad thing that she's not around for the moment!"
"Well, she's not making you look like a perv," Ron challenged, glaring at his friend. Harry fell silent, unable to think of a response to this that wouldn't make him seem whiny and/or an ass.
Hermione, looking far too cheerful, continued to read from the story.
"My father did? How? When?" Draco gasped, his eyes were rlling in shock.
"Just now," Harry explained sadly, tears dripping from his crystal blue eyes.
"Well… shit," Ron swore, and crumpled to the ground. "She's gone again!"
"Not for long," Harry swore in a low voice, barely containing his bleyend rage. "I will get her back. I will not live without my soul again!"
"Feel free to do whatever you want with my father," Draco added, his gray eyes glinting in anger. "I can't believe he would do such a foul deed and he deserves to die." ("So much for Malfoy loyalty, eh?" "If you don't shut up I'm going to—")
"Guys," Hermione sighed, exasperated. Ron and Malfoy had pounced on each other, their faces deepened into scowls and their fists trying to make contact with the other's body. "Come on now, stop being childish!"
Hermione was amazed when they actually flew away from each other, shock and horror on their faces.
"Oh Merlin," Ron whispered, eyes wide and crouching against a wall. Malfoy said nothing, but just turned paler and refused to look at anyone else in the room.
"What's wrong?" Remus asked, looking bewildered by the spectacle.
"Nothing," both boys said in unison.
"Bloody book," Draco swore under his breath and he shot a look at Ron in a mixture of repulsion and fondness.
"She's sick," Ron agreed in an equally hushed voice and refused to return Malfoy's glance.
"…Okay then," Hermione muttered, rolling her eyes and flipping through the book.
"You have a plan then?" Ron asked, moving toward Harry in eagerness. Harry nodded with a determined expression on his face.
"I have a plan."
Meanwhile, Acacya was distraught. ("I knew she couldn't last long without talking about herself!") She was flying through the air with Luscious and wondering what would bee come of her. She knew where Luscious was taking her and it made her creye.
But then a plan came to her mind then. She could try to use her powers for good and turn Moldy Wart into someone with a good heart and he would set her free on his own.
It was her only hope.
"That's ridiculous," Hermione muttered and bookmarked the page. "She just gets stupider and stupider."
"…Did you just say 'stupider'?" Ron asked, amused/scared. Hermione gasped and clapped her hand to her mouth.
"Apparently she is not the only one losing brain cells," Remus noted from the side. "I myself was just wondering who Merlin was."
"Remus!" Hermione gasped, finding her voice again.
"Does anyone mind if I go to the bathroom to slit my wrists?" Harry asked casually, standing up again. "I don't know if I can stand another chapter in my point of view and it's bound to be coming."
"But Harry," Ron protested, "If you die, who will she have? She might have to turn her full attention to me!"
"He's right Harry," Remus agreed, turning away from the thought of his loss of brainpower. "Sit back down and stay alive please." Harry, looking disgruntled and upset that his friends were so horrible, sat down.
"Should we take a break?" Ginny wondered. "We should probably check on Fred and George and Seamus and Dean."
"Good idea," Hermione agreed and the two girls excused themselves.
"Phew," Luna breathed in relief and settled back into her chair.
A/N: Not much I know… but I was hoping the Lucius/Luscious joke would put me in some good graces.
Please review!